Children in Her Shadow (8 page)

Nineteen forty two started with the worst possible news. Ruth’s mother wrote to her explaining that the army had written to say that on the fifteenth of February, Singapore had been overrun by the Japanese and that their son Michael was either a prisoner of war or missing presumed dead.

Ruth had been keeping up with what news there was from Singapore and was already aware that things were not good. By the time her mother’s letter arrived towards the end of February, there were already stories that at the Alexandra Military Hospital in Singapore, Japanese soldiers had brutally murdered the patients they found there.

Ruth knew that Michael had been based there but this was in a much earlier letter and she hoped that he had moved on. Earlier stories of the battle of Jitra in Malaya in the December spoke of captured and wounded allied soldiers being killed where they lay. There was even a story that some captured Australian troops were doused with petrol and burned to death.

Ruth refused to concede that Michael might be dead, preferring to hold out the hope that he would eventually get a letter home to say he was well. Nonetheless, Ruth could not stop herself from looking to the skies as he might in Singapore to see if she too could see ‘
swallows in February
’.

Throughout the year of nineteen forty two Ruth threw herself into the routine of work with a renewed vigour. She saw herself as needing to build a life for herself rather than simply doing a wartime job. This would entail being good at what she was doing and she determined that she would also live life to the full. She spent the spring and summer months in her routine of work shifts and wove around them hours spent with friends either on the beach or dancing.

Ruth also renewed an old friendship when Mary Morgan came to Blackpool for three days with her mother. They arrived on the Friday afternoon and arranged to stay at a small guest house just off the promenade. It was agreed that Ruth would meet Mrs Morgan and Mary on the Friday evening after they had eaten supper and show them a little of Blackpool.

It was not long before they were seated in the Tower Ballroom surrounded by servicemen eager to dance with all three of them. Mrs Morgan was more than happy to oblige leaving Ruth and Mary time to talk.

Ruth noticed that Mary was more insular less easy to talk to than previously but put this down to the time they had spent apart. They reminisced about the night of the bombing in Cardiff and this seemed to change Mary’s mood as slowly they regained the intimacy they had enjoyed previously. Much of their talk was about old work colleagues at the post office and a couple of sad stories of husbands who had been killed in the line of service. Neither of them was particularly enjoying the ballroom and they agreed with Mrs Morgan that they would leave her there and return to the guest house.

As they walked arm in arm along the sea front Mary noticed a sign saying ‘Palmist, have your fortune told here’. They giggled and eventually agreed that it would be fun to ‘look into the future’. They went into a darkened area immediately inside the main doorway to where a man sat protectively at a small table. Seeing the girls approach he said that it would cost a six pence each to see
the gypsy
which they paid.

They were then ushered into the dimly lit area where the gypsy was sitting at a round table. As she looked up she beckoned them to sit and rather alarmingly her first words to the girls were, “I know that this is the first you have seen of each other for a very long while and I know that you both have much on your minds.” Ruth and Mary looked at each other with surprise wondering how she could know this.

The gypsy then turned to Ruth and took her right hand in hers. She pondered this for some time, occasionally running a finger over her palm but mostly looking deep into Ruth’s eyes. This was unnerving and Ruth was beginning to wonder if this had been a good idea. The gypsy then turned to Mary and again took her hand in hers. On this occasion, her concentration was much more focussed upon her palm with the occasional glance into her face.

Eventually, as the gypsy turned, she lifted her head and still holding Mary’s hand said, “You must share your secret with only those you trust, and you know there will be some that will want to damn you. You are destined to know a kind of love that will always be questioned. You will live long but yours will be a barren journey through life. You will sing, and laughter will come to you eventually but you will also weep many tears.” These words disturbed Mary who knew instantly what the gypsy was saying but she simply giggled and looked towards Ruth whose eyes were wide open with anticipation of what the gypsy would say to her.

The gypsy turned slowly to Ruth, but this time with a troubled face. “The gypsy speaks to many people but you are different” she said. “In your life you will have the blessing of many children but you will endure lifelong sadness.” In hushed tones and with a great sense of foreboding she said, “Your name is Ruth … and I can see the life you have yet to live. I warn you now that you will go through life seeing children in your shadow.” She rose and gently touched Ruth’s face with the back of her fingers before she said, “Ruth, you will walk many paths in your life but before the sun sets every day, you will see those children in your shadow.”

Trembling, Ruth and Mary left the booth and ran nervously giggling out onto the sea front. But Ruth stopped abruptly asking Mary, “What did she mean by saying to me you will walk many paths in your life but before the sun sets every day you will see those children in your shadow?”

As Ruth asked the question so she could see that Mary was deeply upset. “It’s only a bit of fun” Ruth said but Mary clearly saw it differently. They walked over to the seaward side of the promenade and down onto the beach where they dropped onto the soft dry sand. Mary turned to Ruth and said, “The gypsy said that I should share my secret and I want to share it with you. You are my best friend and the only person I can share this with.”

Mary began slowly to tell Ruth that from the age of about twelve she knew that she was different from other girls and by the time she had reached the age of about sixteen she knew that she could not have any sort of physical relationship with boys. She said that she had managed to fool most people into believing that she had boyfriends but asked Ruth to consider how often she had seen her with a boy.

Mary went on to say that on occasions she would be in the company of girls when one of them would look at her in a certain way that made her tingle inside. At this point, Ruth began to fidget uncomfortably and picking up on this Mary said, “Ruth I’m not trying to tell you that I fancy you. You are my best friend, but there are occasions when I meet other girls that, well yes, I do fancy them.”

Mary continued by explaining that Ruth was the only person in the world to know her secret with the exception of someone she met some months ago. She excitedly described a slightly older woman who shared common interests with her and someone that she felt an emotional attachment to and that this was a shared feeling.

Ruth felt out of her depth but offered Mary the assurance she needed that she neither shunned her because of her emerging sexuality and neither did it have any bearing on their relationship. Ruth could see that for Mary this was an important step in her life particularly as she regarded Ruth as her dearest friend. They rose to their feet and resumed their journey back to the guest house, arm in arm as usual.

Meanwhile, Mrs Morgan spent more time away from their guest house than in it. It transpired that on their first night, Mrs Morgan had spent the whole evening in the company of a rather dashing American officer who, though careful not to say too much was part of an advanced group who were setting up facilities for for American airmen who would transition through Blackpool for flight training. Mrs Morgan was smitten and spent the whole of her time in Blackpool being ‘entertained’ by her mystery man

Neither Mary or Ruth met the man but on the few occasions when their paths crossed at the guest house, Mrs Morgan spoke only of ‘Colonel Arthur Brockenbeck’ who was fondly referred to by his United States Air Force flying nickname, Colonel
Hawkeye
Brockenbeck.

The three day holiday was all too soon over but Mary and Ruth resolved to continue their letter writing to each other with the hope that they might meet up again very soon. As they embraced before Mary and Mrs Morgan departed Mary whispered into Ruth’s ear, “I love you as my best friend and I hope you find your Mr Right very soon.”

Ruth spent the entire night of her nineteenth birthday with a party of friends on the beach chatting and singing wartime songs and occasionally dodging the police who were not in the least bit impressed by their high jinks.

Having fun was the intention of the many thousands of young people who like her worked in the factories around Blackpool. And having fun would not be difficult in Blackpool a town that seemed immune from the war with very few air raid warnings and even fewer actual bombings, indeed throughout the whole of the war only two bombs fell on Blackpool. It was discovered many years later that Blackpool was spared the Luftwaffe’s bombings because Hitler wanted it as his personal playground after the war where he dreamed of his troops goose-stepping down the Golden Mile and unfurling the Swastika on top of Blackpool Tower

As the autumn gave way to winter the vibrancy of life in this seaside town was retained especially as it was home to thousands of military personnel here to do their basic flying training but also to make the most of the night life. Over the course of the war, almost three quarters of a million airmen would be given their initial training at the Winter Gardens by day whilst not interfering with the thirst for entertainment in this historic building by night.

Blackpool was also home to thousands of London based civil servants posted to this northern resort to continue their Whitehall work outside the by now blitzed London. The blackout was observed as strictly in Blackpool as it was anywhere else in Britain and rationing bit as deeply here as it did elsewhere. However, the only thing that wasn’t rationed was entertainment. The night life was extensive; during the season there were shows on at all the major theatres and ballroom dancing took place in the Tower Ball Room, the Winter Gardens and in many of the larger hotels.

Ruth enjoyed dancing and would often go with friends from work to the Winter Gardens. She had no particular boy friend though she would occasionally see the same person more than once. Like many young, attractive girls in Blackpool the prospect of establishing any really meaningful relationship with young men was remote given that most people of her own age were simply in Blackpool for their basic training before being moved on to their regiments or squadrons. But for all of that, life was fun and Ruth was building life skills both at work and in her social life.

Ruth continued to go to the Blackpool Ice Drome and began to meet Sarah there at least twice per month. Sarah was the same age as Ruth, slim and very attractive. During one of their intimate conversations, Ruth learnt that Sarah was previously a trainee seamstress having worked from age fifteen to eighteen in a large department store in Preston which explained why, whenever they met, she was always exceptionally well dressed. Sarah went on to explain that she had recently begun to work for the English Electric factory on Strand Road in Preston a company that everyone locally knew as Dick Kerr’s who were building Handley Page Hampden aircraft and the Halifax bombers.

Ruth liked Sarah but she was never sure if the feelings were returned. She had aloofness about her personality and she seemed uneasy in company; unable to hold a conversation especially when several others were in their company. Sarah liked to be noticed and had mannerisms that resembled those of a peacock, always needing to be seen, always strutting and always repairing her makeup to ensure she looked her best. She flirted and was skilled at getting the attention she seemed to crave. Nonetheless, in Sarah’s less self centred moments she did have time for Ruth and there was always the prospect that Sarah would bring her friend Edward, who Ruth really rather cared for.

Ruth occasionally broached the subject of Edward and discovered from Sarah that their relationship had been going on for more than a year, beginning when Edward had been working at Dick Kerr’s in Preston.

Ruth was curious about why Edward, a twenty two year old fit and healthy looking man was not serving on the front line. Sarah explained that all she knew about Edward was that he had served in the Merchant Navy as a wireless operator on the SS Malakand between April and September nineteen forty. The Malakand was a ship most people here in the north of England would remember at the time as the one that blew up in Liverpool docks.

On the worst night of the Liverpool Blitz, on the third of May nineteen forty one, the S.S. Malakand, loaded with over one thousand tons of shells and bombs, was destroyed. It was thought that a deflated barrage balloon fell onto her deck and burst into flames. Despite all attempts to put out the fire, the Malakand had to be abandoned. The resulting explosions from the ship completely destroyed the dock and it was said that parts of the ship were thrown up to two and a half miles away.

Sarah went on to explain to Ruth that Edward returned to his parents’ home in Blackpool having left the ship and had since then worked at the Vickers Armstrong factory as an engineer working on the Wellington bombers. This intrigued Ruth because when she had in passing mentioned to Edward that she worked at Vickers, he had never once remarked upon the coincidence.

Sarah’s final comments struck a chord with Ruth when she described Edward as a man of mystery, always guarded, never saying more than he needed particularly on the subject of his work and especially what he did outside work. Over the following weeks, Ruth continued her conversations with Sarah and probed to see if her relationship with Edward was one that might lead to marriage.