Children in Her Shadow (9 page)

On most of the occasions when Ruth and Sarah met, Edward would be present and Ruth’s fascination with ‘are they aren’t they’ a couple continued. Ruth noticed that on the face of it they seemed close, they would kiss and make small talk and gave all the outward signs that they were in love. But Ruth also noticed that when Sarah was not present Edward paid considerable attention to her, flirting and often getting rather closer to her than she thought appropriate to someone that seemed on the verge of marriage.

On one occasion when Edward was not present, Sarah explained to Ruth that it seemed inevitable that Edward and she should marry. She said that they were deeply in love and had even discussed when a marriage should take place. Sarah explained that she was a Catholic and Edward was a Protestant and that unless Edward was prepared to convert to the Catholic faith there would be no marriage.

It seemed that Sarah was not simply a Catholic but a devout Catholic and could see no prospect for their relationship going further if Edward did not soon indicate his willingness to convert. Although Ruth too was Catholic she could not quite comprehend why one’s faith should get in the way of true love.

Ruth was never quite sure after her conversations about Edward whether Sarah saw her as a friend or a possible rival. She therefore tried to arrange to see Sarah only when Edward was not present on the pretence that ‘three’s a crowd’. This cemented their relationship as friends and avoided the potential for embarrassment.

It still however remained that Ruth was intrigued by Edward, his flirtatious nature concealed in an overly secretive aloof personality. This did not stop Ruth from trying to find out where Edward worked on the Vickers site in part to satisfy her curiosity about what he did there that was so important and to also be in a position to engineer a chance meeting if she felt so inclined.

Ruth was not going to need to engineer such a meeting as without warning in the early February of nineteen forty three she was summoned to the senior foreman’s office and there wearing a three-quarter length white inspector’s coat and looking somewhat superior was Edward Carmichael. Neither acknowledged that they knew each other which was perhaps fortuitous when Ruth’s foreman explained, “Mr Carmichael needs a trainee inspector in the aircraft assembly section and I have put forward your name as a very suitable candidate for Mr Carmichael.”

Ruth’s instinct was to grab this possible promotion with both hands, after all she had determined in her own plans that she would drive herself to achieve her full potential in this job and start to build a career for herself. But deep in the back of her consciousness there was an alarm bell tolling a warning to her that such a move could not have come about without strings being pulled. Was Edward playing games with her emotions as well as her job? Ruth agreed to go over to the assembly area right away with Edward and decide if she felt confident about taking on this new role.

Their walk to the assembly site took about fifteen minutes during which time Edward paid considerable attention to Ruth asking how she was enjoying her work and remarking that he had not seen her with Sarah in some months. They talked about everything except the new job and Sarah. Nonetheless, Ruth rather enjoyed the intimacy of a conversation with a man who had remembered their previous conversations and seemed to be showing genuine interest in her.

Eventually, Ruth mentioned that she would be seeing Sarah on Friday evening and questioned if he would be there. She knew very well that her arrangement with Sarah was that they would meet only when she was not seeing Edward but she was curious to hear what Edward would say. He paused before answering and then with a hang dog look on his face he said that he and Sarah had rowed and things looked bad between them. Ruth didn’t press him any further on the matter and quickly changed the subject back to work.

They arrived in a massive aircraft hanger and Ruth was stopped in her tracks by the sight she saw before her. There, in an almost fully assembled state was a Wellington Bomber and behind that were others each apparently on the verge of completion. On the fuselage and the wings of the aircraft and on the floor space below it were dozens of men and women testing or assembling essential elements of an aircraft that would be used in Britain’s defence of its nation and to prosecute the war deep inside Nazi territory.

The trainee inspector role, grand as the title might seem was one of many similar roles deployed in the testing of the components and then the assembly of those components onto cockpit panels for installation by others into the aircraft. Ruth’s role was to be in the instruments section where each of the vital aircraft operational, navigation and radio instruments were tested before being released for installation on the aircraft. Ruth was told she would work for the team of instrument inspectors and would initially be supervised to test and calibrate instruments in a room euphemistically called
the cockpit
.

The people in the room were an even mixture of older men and younger women who seemed genuinely welcoming towards Ruth, each explaining what they did and each encouraging her to accept the post. There was an added attraction, with the exception of the rarest of occasions the job was five and a half days per week starting at eight o’clock and finishing at five. It was also a
white coat
job which meant that Ruth would be able to set aside the less than flattering dungarees and head scarf and would be able to wear a skirt or dress again.

As Ruth moved around the ‘cockpit’ she established that Edward was the inspector for all radio equipment and worked with a small team in an adjacent room. Little more was known about their work or Edward. Once again Ruth detected the air of uncertainty and mystery about Edward that was coming from his work colleagues. None seemed to know him but all knew of him and with some sense of respect they acknowledged his position and his expertise. None of this explained why what he did could not be done by an older person or indeed by a woman!

Ruth accepted the job and was told to report to the cockpit on the following Monday morning. This meant that the agreed Friday evening meeting with Sarah would take on a special air of importance, as it did.

The arrangement was that Ruth and Sarah would meet outside the Tower Ballroom where they had agreed to spend the evening dancing. They settled down in a corner of the ballroom that was quiet, once they had skilfully warded off the attention of several Polish Airmen who were part of the massive contingent based here in Blackpool for RAF training,

Ruth soon moved on to the subject of Edward. She chose to open their conversation by mentioning that she would be starting a new job on Monday in a section that was nearby to where Edward worked. Ruth excitedly talked about the end of shift working and the few extra shillings she would have in her purse each week.

She then asked Sarah about how she and Edward were getting on and to Ruth’s surprise Sarah began crying. She said nothing and after a moment Sarah said she was going to the lavatory to repair her makeup and could they go somewhere a little quieter when she returned. Sarah returned once again transformed into the glamorous, composed woman of old. Her makeup was impeccable and there was not a trace of the tear stained face save for the swollen eyes that no makeup could repair.

They left the Tower and walked in the moonlight along the promenade. This late February evening was cool but pleasant and apart from the occasional group passing by and the clanking sound of the trams they were alone on the vast expanse of the Golden Mile. After a while of walking arm in arm they stopped at a brightly coloured cafe stall where they bought a cup of tea and sat in the dark on a bench looking out over the beach and listened to the calm melodic sound of the incoming tide.

Eventually Sarah broke the silence and explained that she and Edward had met the previous week and that the subject of their proposed marriage had once again been discussed. Sarah explained that by now it was clear that both of them wanted to get married, they loved each other deeply and that the only stumbling block was whether Edward would convert to the Catholic faith in order that they could have the Catholic wedding and the Catholic life after that wedding which was so important to Sarah.

Sarah stumbled over her words as she explained that Edward had given her an ultimatum. Sarah could hardy form the words as she explained, “He was sharp with me and said that I should put aside my foolish notion that he would ever convert to Catholicism or there would be no marriage.” Ruth asked what Sarah’s response had been and in sombre tone she said that she had told Edward there was no way that their relationship could go any further if he was not prepared to make this sacrifice for her.

At that point Sarah turned to Ruth and asked, “You are Catholic; if Edward were to ask you to marry him you would do the same wouldn’t you?” Ruth took a moment to reply, pondering as she did the prospect of Edward ever asking for her hand in marriage. She also knew that her response would be an immediate no strings attached “yes.”

Setting aside her foolish day dreams Ruth suggested to Sarah that there were as always two sides to the issue and that Sarah should consider whether she was prepared to lose the only man she had ever loved for the sake of her faith. In a zealot like response Sarah retorted, “To forsake my faith is inconceivable and I would rather go to my grave a single and celibate woman than give up my faith for this or any man who would ask me to do so.” Ruth knew that unless there was a massive change of heart on Edward’s part Sarah’s position was firm and final.

As Sarah and Ruth went their separate ways home Ruth reflected upon the ‘coincidence’ of the meeting with Edward earlier in the week and whether she should draw any inference from it. There was no doubt in her mind that she was attracted to Edward though she knew so little about him.

Ruth also reflected upon Sarah’s comment as they went their separate ways. When Ruth asked if Sarah would meet her to go ice skating in two weeks time Sarah was clear and very decided in saying, “I shan’t be going out at all. I have agreed with my mother that for the time being I will stay around Preston until I have completely banished Edward from my mind.” Ruth took this to also mean that she didn’t want to see her either. Was this an invitation for her to see Edward; was this Sarah’s way of saying ‘the coast is clear for you’, or was it her way of saying that she wanted to sever all ties with Edward and those associated with him?

Ruth reported for work at the ‘cockpit’ and quickly settled into the routine of this important work. The demand for Wellington Bombers was so great that the whole factory was operating at maximum production and so there was little time for fanciful thoughts of Edward though she did see him occasionally as he walked past the cockpit.

She wondered whether Edward had forgotten that she now worked there or whether he simply didn’t mix work and pleasure. This latter point was soon to be dismissed when Edward came purposefully into the cockpit one afternoon and asked if she would like to go out for the day with him in his father’s car this weekend. Ruth inwardly blushed as she found the word “yes” leave her lips with rather more haste than perhaps she should have, considering her conversation with Sarah had only been two weeks previous.

Arrangements were made to meet by the bus station in Blackpool at nine o’clock in the morning and with that Edward was gone. As Ruth looked around she was aware that her work colleagues were smiling and one whispered quietly that Edward had been asking after her for days. Ruth blushed with embarrassment but she was also flushed with excitement about the prospect of spending some time with Edward alone.

Ruth returned home and confided in Moira that Edward and Sarah had ended their relationship and that Edward had now asked her to spend the day with him on Saturday. Moira listened and observed Ruth, detecting in her the signs of a woman that was besotted and though there were pieces of advice she was keen to give to Ruth, she felt this was neither the time nor the place to do it. Her husband was due into the house very soon and she was keen that any discussion about Edward and any advice she was going to give to Ruth should be when they were not likely to be disturbed.

That opportunity came when later in the evening Moira knocked gently on Ruth’s bedroom door and asked if she could have a chat. Ruth was clearly as excited now as she was earlier but was nonetheless receptive to a woman to woman conversation that she anticipated would be supportive.

Moira sat in the small chair at the bottom of the bed whilst Ruth lay, face down on the bed with her head cupped in her hands. Moira asked what Ruth knew of Edward and was particular to ask if Sarah had imparted any information about him that would throw a light on his character and his intentions. Ruth failed to pick up on the nuances of the line of questioning and went on to excitedly outline all she knew of Edward with a particular emphasis upon the mystery man persona she had built up in her own mind about him.

Moira was polite and listened intently before asking Ruth if she felt that Edward was a man of sincerity and whether he was possibly looking for Ruth to temporarily fill the void created by his parting with Sarah. Ruth either didn’t pick up on the line of the questioning or decided to side step the real issue at the heart of Moira’s question. Moira decided that the only course of action was to be direct and straight with Ruth.

She started by pointing out to Ruth that she was an extremely attractive young woman with an allure of innocence that was so often what men were looking for. Not content with a foray into the subject of men’s intentions towards young attractive women, Moira continued; “In my experience, a man that’s on the rebound from a woman who is not giving him what he wants, and clearly Sarah isn’t, will often look for some innocent young thing like you to have his wicked way with.” Ruth immediately jumped to the defence of Edward exaggerating her flimsy knowledge of him by portraying him as a man of great honour who if anything was treating her almost as a sister or best friend.