Candy Darling (7 page)

The earliest writings are excerpts from Jimmy Slattery's diary beginning in 1958 (when he was 14 years old). Several years later, reborn as Candy Darling, his world had radically changed. From the mid-'60s to the early '70s, Candy kept active doing Off-off Broadway and two films for Warhol/Morrissey:
Flesh
(1968) and
Women In Revolt
(1971), several independent films:
Brand X
and
Silent Night/Bloody Night
, a co-starring role as a gay-bashing victim in
Some of my Best Friends Are
…, a memorable scene in
Klute
with Jane Fonda, and
Lady Liberty
with Sophia Loren. A quote Candy used many times was “I've had small parts in big pictures and big parts in small pictures.” In 1971 she went to Vienna, where she did two films for director Werner Schroeter, the first entitled
The Death of Maria Malibran
. Unfortunately, the second film was never released.

Several years ago, director Mary Harron approached me in the preplanning stages of what was to be
I Shot Andy Warhol
. She had heard of my friendship with would-be-Warhol-assassin Valerie Solanas and later read my writing on this relationship and incorporated it into her film, along with some of Candy's words. Through our conversations it didn't take much persuasion to convince Mary of the importance of using Candy Darling as a character in her film. Although it is impossible to duplicate an individual, I personally felt that Stephen Dorff gave a haunting performance capturing Candy's very essence. For me, Candy Darling lived again on screen. And I may add that actor Danny Morganstern portrayed a very credible Jeremiah! Mary created an era through her work and has emerged as an important new director.

Over two decades have passed since the death of my friend; and in those years, the world has indeed changed. Candy would have been severely distraught by the deaths of Andy Warhol, Tinkerbelle, Jackie Curtis, Tom Eyen, Charles Ludlum, Sharron Lyn Reed, Eugene Siefke, and so many others who made up the rich and varied weave of her world.

She would have been proud of the Harvey Milk School, an institution in Manhattan that educates and takes care of gay, lesbian and transgendered youth, something inconceivable in her lifetime. The onslaught of AIDS would have devastated her life as it has devastated ours.

Ms. Darling would never have imagined how many people would miss her. At the scene of her funeral, with hundreds of mourners present, a stretch limousine pulled up to Frank E. Campbell's just as her flower bedecked casket was being carried out, and a tinted window rolled down. Its passenger, Gloria Swanson, saluted the coffin with a gloved hand.

Throughout the years I have attempted to keep my unforgettable friend alive. In life, many of her dreams eluded her, but she lives again through her words, drawings, and photographs.

Note
: Amongst Candy's writings are references to the following people: Sandy Amerling (her first manager); Kathy Michaud (her cousin, with whom she had many interests in common); Off-off Broadway's legendary Jackie Curtis; Holly Woodlawn (co-star of
Flesh
and
Women In Revolt
with Jackie Curtis); Ron Link (the man who “discovered” Candy); playwright Bob Heide; Tony Mansfield (Jayne Mansfield's “baby brother” and first disc jockey at many important New York clubs); Warren and Maryann (Candy's half-brother and sister-in-law); Bill King (the late photographer), Pat Thorne (a Greenwich Village friend and companion of Valerie Solanas); Ron Delsener (producer); George Abagnalo (co-screenwriter of Warhol's
Bad
); and friend Jim Hanafy.

Jeremiah Newton

Candy Remembered

LIKE CANDY
,
I, TOO
, came from out on the Island. Like many other children of the '40s and '50s whose parents were from the city, we were taken from the place of our birth to a presumably safer and more child-friendly atmosphere. And like many of the teenagers of the '50s and '60s, we felt confined and restricted by such a place and could not wait to return to the city that our parents had struggled so hard to leave.

In the early '70s I would travel around the country until my money ran out and then return to New York to earn more so that I could leave again. I met Candy during one of those work periods. I had met Jeremiah first; he was a friend of a one-time hitchhiking companion. Jeremiah and I were both living in less-than favorable conditions in different sections of Brooklyn, so we decided to pool our resources and get an apartment together in Manhattan. We found a one-bedroom apartment that we could afford on the Upper West Side. We flipped a coin for the bedroom, and Jeremiah got it. I got the convertible couch in the living room. This arrangement worked out fine while it was only the two of us. But before long Jeremiah started telling me about his friend Candy who was in Europe making films. She'd return to America soon, he said, and would need a place to stay. Would I object to her coming to live with us? He said she'd live in his room with him, so I agreed.

Candy arrived. She was stunningly beautiful with an ethereal quality. She had suitcases full of gowns and cosmetics. My only interest in how I looked was what I had to wear in order to keep a good-paying job. I called it putting on the disguise, feeling that anything other than natural was a lie. When I was off work, I'd wear what my other friends wore—jeans and t-shirts, and no makeup. But when I went out with Candy, even just to the market, she'd insist that I dress up, often in one of her gowns. She'd do my makeup and hair; and I indulged her. It was yet another disguise to add to the mix. But no matter what type gown she dressed me in or how she did my makeup or hair, I still felt dowdy and butch next to her. She was the tall and glamorous one; I felt short and dumpy.

This arrangement worked well for a short while, but before long, two more people were living in our small apartment. It became clear that we'd have to move, and there was no way we could afford to stay in Manhattan. We found a house in Brooklyn, in Flatbush, near Park Slope, on a block that was partly renovated. We were renting two floors of the house, the rest was still undergoing construction. There were five of us now—Jeremiah and his lover, Joseph Ratinski, Candy, me, and a new friend, Kathy. The unrenovated portion of the block consisted mainly of Puerto Rican immigrants who could not understand what type of a household this was—a gay couple, two young, single (or were they also a couple?) women, and this tall, beautiful blond. There were people coming and going from our place at all hours, and the neighbors made their disgust plainly evident. Kathy and I were the only ones who held straight, 9–5 jobs. We also had different standards of housekeeping from our other roommates. It was nearly impossible to get Candy to clean up after herself. She would finally relent only after being asked a number of times to do the chores, but she would turn it into a suffering heroine role. Quoting lines from her favorite melodramas, she'd turn the task into a performance.

Many times when getting ready for work I would discover that the dress I'd intended to wear had been torn. When I'd ask Candy if she knew what had happened to it, she would deny knowing anything at first; but eventually she'd admit that she
had
to borrow it since her appearance was surely more important than mine. I tried, in vain, to tell her that my clothes would not be able to stretch to accommodate her frame and to please leave them alone. I was working for a company that had connections with the garment

industry. Through these connections I had the opportunity to purchase 12 dozen pairs of stockings, which I naturally expected would last throughout this work period. I wrongly assumed that these would be safe from Candy since there was a greater disparity between our shoe sizes than our dress sizes. While I was at work, however, during one of her foraging trips to my closet, Candy discovered my cache. Within a few short weeks, the supply of stockings was completely depleted. Of course, I knew whom to question; and Candy finally admitted that she had
had
to use them since she had to look good when she went out and that I should be happy that I was able to contribute to the cause.

Candy never had any money and always had to beg Andy to help her. She'd usually get promises of money, or occasionally a token bit; but it was never enough to live on. She lived off other people, especially her good friend and supporter, Sam Green.

Most of my off-time was spent with other friends, but periodically I'd get caught up in what Candy and Jeremiah were doing, usually if an opening or party was involved. I'd get dressed in an outfit that met Candy's approval, and we'd head for Manhattan. Men would be attracted to her, but I was fearful of what would happen if they found out that she was not exactly what she seemed. Often after a long night in Manhattan, Candy and I would share a cab home; and she would reveal to me her pain. She was not attracted to homosexual men since she was not psychologically a man. It was a heterosexual man that she wanted but felt that that would be impossible as she was.

Many weekends we would take the Long Island Railroad together to visit our families. She got off two stops before mine. I would read, but she was always writing. I never knew what the writings were until we began this project.

When I had saved enough money, I again left New York, but this time I never returned there to live. I never saw Candy again. My travels led me to San Diego where I met the man who would become my husband. The desktop publishing company that we eventually formed made this book possible.

Candy lived a full life of fantasy. She had an image of what she should be, what she was capable of being; but she was born in the wrong package. She had a skewed view of her importance, thinking that everyone knew who she was and how famous she was. The truth would have been too hard to face that she looked the part,
almost
perfectly. She wanted the transformation to be complete but had no way of achieving it.

The final ironic tragedy is that Candy, who did not do drugs or have wild sexual adventures, died at such a young age, simply because she took hormones to make her more of what she knew she was.

Francesca Passalacqua

EDITOR'S NOTE

Material was excerpted from a number of diaries, all in the collection of Jeremiah Newton. Entries often spanned several years and are in no particular chronological order. The most dramatic is a spiral-bound notebook initially filled with young Jimmy's notes from junior high school classes that segues in later pages to the razor-sharp wit and poignant observations of the mature Candy.

Handwriting styles vary widely in these journals as Candy “tried on” various psychological roles. Many of the entries are drafts of letters to friends and admired stars, and bits of dialogue from movies she loved, which mingle freely with her own witticisms. True to her essence, it is impossible to determine where actual events (“real life”) end and fantasy begins.

Spelling and punctuation have been corrected throughout.

January 6 Monday

Today was the first day of school. Oh how I hate school! I have to get up at 7:00 a.m. promptly instead of 11:00 or 10:00 during my beautiful vacation. I can't wait until the next one. Sue & I are friends again. Went over Karen's today; her mother is strict, and Momma wouldn't let me eat, she says I'm getting too fat. I am!!! It's 11:00 p.m., I better go to sleep now.

January 7 Tuesday

Got up late this morning. Got to school (prison) very late. I walked home with Ronald Esposito and it was snowing at 2:30 p.m. and until 11:30 p.m. It's 11:30 now, and it's still snowing. Made a soap carving today it came out awful. It was supposed to be a fish. I didn't have Gym today. I lost my gym suit. Goodie Gumdrops. I HATE gym. Nobody likes it, you have to take showers & do exercises & all. Phooey. The snow is so deep there may not be school tomorrow. YIPPIE.

January 14 Tuesday

I almost couldn't get up this morning. I was supposed to attend a meeting at 2:30 for planning my Program (subjects) for next year in 9th grade. But instead I went over to Pat's. We went downtown into this abandoned store & broke windows & all. We got a lift to his house & my mother picked me up. It was terrible coming home in the rain & snow. I got it too. I can't go there any more.

January 15 Wednesday

Today they announced my name over the loudspeaker and told me to come down to the office!! I didn't go because I didn't know when to go, this kid was yakkin' during homeroom announcements. Finally I went down at 8th Period when school was almost over and got my head yelled off. I have to study for the Mid-Terms. Ma said I'd get the Bongo Drums if I passed everything. I hope I pass.

February 28 Thurs.

Today Momma took me to the doctor & he took off the bandages. The scar is so ugly I can hardly bear to look at it. When I first saw it I said, “Oh no, is that my flesh?”

May 28 Wednesday

Today I was in lunch line. Everyone was talking & so was I. So all of a sudden some teacher—Mr. Lagumina pulls me out & sends me to the end of the line. So I asked him why and he said quote “For no reason” unquote. So then I said “Then why do I have to go?” With that he puts his hand on my neck & pushes me forward. I put his hand down then he pushed me across the hall & pasted me in the face & said to get in the office!! I had a big red hand-print on my face! Then this girl who works in the office—Joan—asked me what happened. Then I went to Mr. Jury. He didn't do a thing. My mother's coming up tomorrow. They ain't gonna belt me.

Dear Pat,

Hi. Nobody loves me or wants me. I lead a dull uninteresting existence. At least you have your mother to turn to. I have Kathy but she isn't near my locale. I am in homeroom now. There's a bunch of chicks in here and they all hate me. Someday I'll be a movie star that's it!! And I'll be rich and famous and have all the friends I want. Can't you just picture some “dramatic chick” saying this: