Candy Darling (2 page)

But while the adults were amused by Jimmy doing Constance or Joan Bennett impersonations, his contemporaries were not, and soon Jimmy was looked upon as a bizarre sort of local pariah. Yet this wasn't unusual for a child who had been judged as the most beautiful female baby for Gertz Department Store. From the very beginning of his life, Jimmy Slattery was mistaken for a girl.

His skin, so milky white, his brown eyes framed with thick eyelashes—there was just a way about Jimmy that could not be denied.

However local parents did not want their children playing with him, and thus ostracized, this unusual child was left to his own means, content to live in a Technicolor Hollywood dream world writing letters to his cousin Kathy Michaud, in which they discussed earth-shattering issues such as Kim Novak's fan club and Lana Turner's secret romance.
Photoplay
and
Modern Screen
were their favorites.

As time went by, with his divorced mother working at the local telephone company and his brother ensconced in the service, Jimmy had ample time to begin experimenting with his mother's makeup and clothes. He loved to draw luxurious colored bubble baths while playing tangos and mambos on the stereo and acting out scenes from
The Prodigal
.

Time passed, Jimmy matured and then came the day when his mother, alerted by a local snoop, confronted Jimmy with the shattering news that Jimmy was seen dressed “like a girl” at a local gay bar.

Taking his mother by the hands, he gently asked her not to say a word, but to sit at the kitchen table and wait.

Minutes passed. The mother, upset and full of questions, sat waiting, the sound of the kitchen clock ticking sounding so loud.

Finally, Jimmy came out, transformed, as it were, into a beautiful young woman.

Candy Darling was born.

“I knew then,” her mother would tell me, “that I couldn't stop Jimmy. He was just too beautiful and talented.”

The works published are taken from Candy Darling's journals of 1970, 1971, 1972. These were busy times for her … she made two films for Andy Warhol:
Flesh
and
Women in Revolt
; two feature films in Europe for German director Werner Schroeter, as well as two American features:
Brand X
and
Some of My Best Friends Are
… Even though over 18 years passed, recently at a retrospective of Warhol films at the Whitney, I was delighted to hear the audience respond to Candy's antics with delight and laughter. Candy never knew how many people would miss her—how many friends she had and would have had if she had lived.

I miss my friend. But she lives again through her words.

Jeremiah Newton

September 18, 1991

New York, N.Y.

Editor's Note

In Candy's journals are references to the following people: Sandy Amerling (her first agent); Kathy Michaud (Candy's cousin who shared her interest in film); Jackie Curtis (who wrote his first play as a teenager that Candy starred in called
Glamour, Glory and Gold
while on the Long Island Railroad en route to Massapequa Park, Long Island, to visit Candy); Holly Woodlawn, co-star of
Flesh
and
Women In Revolt
(with Jackie Curtis); Ron Link, the man who “discovered” Candy; Bob Heide, a playwright and friend who worked at the Cafe Cino; Tony Mansfield, Jane's “baby brother” and first disk-jockey in New York City; Warren and Maryann, her brother and sister-in-law; Bill King, the late photographer; Pat Thorne, a friend in London; Ron Delsener, the producer; George Abagnalo, screen writer of Warhol's
Bad
and Candy's “social secretary”; Taffy Titz, one of Candy's cronies; and Jim Hanafy, a friend.

Idiosyncrasies in the original spellings have been retained throughout.

J. N.

CANDY DARLING

Your voice will thrill a nation

You'd be terrific at RKO

Jane Russell would have to go.

A grief shared is half a grief

A joy shared is twice a joy

One hopes that Carroll Baker is being well payed.

Barbara Stanwyck just gambled her whole place away to Ray Milland.

I try to get what I want whenever its possible.

I have always found that socially unacceptable people make the best lovers because they are more sensitive. Sandy spoke to me on the phone today and suggested a sex change.

TRICKY MOTHER NATURE

I can be happy and fullfilled I will never doubt it. I can not afford to. Each thought Each movement tuned to some great moving force.

They don't show love anymore in movies just sex and violence. A man and a woman are no longer idealized in pictures but they are shown as if a couple of dogs in heat.

What is it you wish?

I desire believing.

Dear Kathy,

I was glad to hear from you. I was in Toronto, Canada, on a publicity tour with Andy. It was so exciting. Did you see my picture in Photoplay? What? You didn't know? Yes my dear your famous cousin has finally made page 5 of the January issue of our old bible. Remember how we used to pour over them fan magazines? Drooling over Liz and Kim—hating Debbie. Well now they can drool over me cause I'm famous and I'm beautiful! (In my 82 lbs. of makeup.)

I am so pissed. My manager called me tonight told me about this new show “Applause.” It's a musical version of “All About Eve” and it stars Lauren Bacall. Now my manager handles an actor named Tas Pengley. He's very handsome like Gregory Peck but he's a real conceited punk. He has an attitude like Laurence Harvey asking me personal questions and acting so superior and snotty. Well he has tickets for opening night. He was going to take Sandy but she can't go so she asked him to take me because its a very Big opening. Now this fuck won't because he's too afraid of his image to be seen in public with me. He's afraid of being read for being a fag—well I can get very evil. I'll just
tell
every one he's a fag. I can get very Joan Crawford about the whole thing. Any way I shouldn't be acting like this.

Another frig in my life. My date for New Year's Eve. Jim Hanafy. Get a load of this. New Year's Eve I went out with Jim, Geraldine and Leonard. When we were in the building where I live with my manager Sandy we asked the doorman to get us a cab. Now I can't tell him to give the doorman a tip can I? He never sees that doorman but I'm always making him get me cabs. So I gave Jim a dollar to give to the doorman cause he's the man. Well when we got in the cab he still didn't give the doorman the cab he stuffed it in his pocket. I said give me that dollar and rolled down in window and gave it to the doorman. I just got over a terrific cold. I got it when we went to Canada. I think it was pneumonia or pleurisy because I was taking everything and couldn't get rid of it. You see I went up to the frozen north in a micro-mini and a monkey fur jacket. Oh, and my other coat was a plastic trench coat. Bought one of those wet look coats it was $70. I hate it. When it's warm out the coat is warm when it's cold out the coat is cold. The monkey coat is glamourous but not warm. A friend of mine (Andrea Feldman) killed herself and she had a new black mink coat. I would like to buy it from the mother but I don't know her. I found this great makeup for the lips. Max Factor's “Germinesse” tawny tint and with it Max Factor's lip gloss in the compact but you need a lip brush.

Looper $2.98

Box 1328

FDR Station

New York, N.Y. 10022

As Life is action in passion

June Haver

“The Daughter of Rosie O'Grady”

Well thanks for the punch in the nose I'd like to give it right back to you but I don't think you could take it.

men of prayer

The Hydrophobia Hop is a dance where your dogs go wild.

He's got a lot of polish he sells it after the show.

Stage Struck Suzie

Miss Ted Marks

Frances Lee

Astrology in the Aquarian Age

the new practitioner

Always be good and care for others.

8 W. 62nd St.

1) Call Ronald to move your things.

2) Get pattern & material

3) Call Gail

504-523-0881 Channel 26 only underground radio station 100's of 1000's of kids listen to it and it will bring in another 15 thousand.

Dr. Berger 10 a.m.

I must do whatever furthers my career, I must take the steps necessary to further my ability to function on the highest level I can operate on. I operate better as a woman.

New book by Jackie Curtis “101 Tips on How to Look Cheap & Common.”

pray for God's guidance.

10 a.m. Dr. Berger

The children always referred to me as Marilyn Monroe or Greta Garbo.

Le Club E. 55

212 EL 5-5520

6:30

gut crunching

Oh Kathy dig this. I was in Max's Kansas City (
the
chic hang out for the jet set of the world) earlier. This girl I know came in and told me she found a diamond bracelet in Le Club before she came to Max's. She gave it to the owner and I when I heard this ran right to the phone and called “Le Club” and informed them that I left my diamond bracelet there. I grabbed Burt but by the time we got there the fuckin place was closed.

This is how I look now

Heather rouge from 5 & 10

Revlon natural wonder

lid shadows

cornflake        brown enough

amber blonde

bottom lashes

Max Factor lip gloss

glows

glows

Aw Rite

Right now I'm on the Long Island R.R. on my way home. It is 5:15 a.m. Saturday, Jan. 17.

To Bill King

I'd go in a burning building for you. If you fell overboard I'd jump in.

1/19/70 Mon.

Be good, good, good, better, better, best, best, best you can be. Real, real, very real.

goodness sweetness simplicity all the things you are.

Zachary Scott and Sydney Greenstreet join Joan down the road of mystery murder & men.

Anna-Fanny-Nanna-Ann-Zanobia-Zanubia-Lenore-Delita-Empress-Abdulla Miranda Mirandelle-Chicquita

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

Candy Darling

I never had anything that made me this sick before Manhattans.

1—a beautiful big house in Long Island and one in California.

2—learn languages & sew

3—Cabin on Lake Winnepesaukee

Rug for my room—color T.V. fall—new clothes white backless shoes, hormone treatment electrolysis. dog—fur coat—car—new house

My goal is to be a beautiful woman, rich and married by 1971.

Sun., January 25, 1970

I used 1 oz. hair lightener 1 oz. Winterheat ½ oz. crm.

Dear Pat,

This is awful stationery to write on I know but I feel I better write when I'm in a writing mood. Thank you for your cards and letters. I've been abominable about keeping in touch.

I was very displeased about that picture of myself in Nova. It's a horror. Partly the makeup man's fault. Anyway I am also in the December Esquire p. 88 and the January Photoplay p. 5 and the Feb. Photoplay but no picture in that one.

I hope you and Julian enjoyed your cruise. I was in Toronto, Canada, for the opening of a theatre.

In your last letter you asked about Barbara Kravitsky. I received a phone call from her. She is living with her husband “Teddy” now in New Orleans. She is coming up to New York soon and said she will take me back with her for a little visit. Everyone's married and I plan to also. Yes Pat I have decided to be sex changed. I am too female to be half & half. There is a very good book on the subject written by Dr. Harry Benjamin “The Transsexual Phenomenon.” I think you should read it Pat it would be fascinating to you both. Let me know what you think of this step I want to take.

You asked me about writing to Valerie Solanis. I think you should. I know she did a terrible thing but she has paid or is paying for it and she needs a friend. It is very thoughtful and kind of you and you should do it.

He comes home and she pretends she was just going out or just came in.

Oh boy can you tell me where my Johnny has gone

Is he huntin', Is he fishin', Is he swimmin'

Say lady can
you
tell me where my Johnny has gone

Is he gamblin', Is he drinkin' with da wommin'.

Oh Johnny Oh Johnny

Your lady grows cold

Her kisses she's waitin' ta give ya

Oh Johnny Oh Johnny

Your lady grows old

Oh Johnny Oh Johnny dear is dat you

Well how are you where were you not dat I care.

The only thing to do is make a remake of
Myra
.

Imitations of Barbra Streisand living in cheap flea bag hotel!

Do you think I like eat in bean soup and peanut butter for strength and protein instead of steak well I don't like it. Do you think I like this mop of goldish red hair instead of the darkest ash blonde with tan pearl streaks?Well I don't like it and I don't like wet cakes and day old bread either and I'm tired of going to beauty culture school for a permanent. I'm just tired Frank.

Take your head out of the washing machine mother or you may get a sock in the puss. Talk about inflation Do you know pumpernickle is now pumperdime? What a band The only time they finish together is when they're eating.

If you're driving, watch out for children, they're lousy drivers.

Myra watching Television in crummy room. Brigitte Bardot picture close ups of Bardot and close ups of Myra looking envious. Next scene Myra goes out to dept store done up as Bardot walks over to counter and asks man for sex? Before leaving store buys dynel fall doesn't have it put in bag just puts it right on. Should be done in Macy's.