Broken (12 page)

Chapter 21

It was Saturday afternoon, and I was feeling anxious already. I had seen Nick at work the previous day, of course, and I told him that Jack and I would be at his loft at 7 PM on Saturday. He arranged to send his driver to pick us up, over my protests.

“That’s really not necessary,” I said. “Jack and I are used to taking the subway everywhere. We actually like it.”

“I insist,” he said, and by the tone of his voice, I knew that there was no argument.

Being at work with him was getting to be difficult. There was no longer any doubt, even in my mind, that Nick and I were somewhat more than just intern and supervisor, or professor and student. What we were was left to be defined, but that kiss demonstrated to me that there was more to us than what we were in our professional lives. Yet, there was no way that we could show it while we were at the office. That would be way too risky.

And Portia made it a point to make my life difficult there at the firm. I was a floating intern right then, which meant that I went around and found projects to do from every partner in the firm, including Portia. I knew that I eventually would settle down to be an intern only for Nick’s team, but, for now, I was floating. Which meant that I did projects for Portia.

Portia went out of her way to make me feel like my mother did. Like I was incompetent. I had typed up a contract for her, and I somehow got mixed up and typed in the word “their” instead of “there.” She read it, and looked at me accusingly. “You’re a graduate student at Columbia?” she asked me incredulously. “What are they teaching you there? Who doesn’t know the difference between t-h-e-i-r and t-h-e-r-e?” She shook her head. “Incompetent. I’m going to have to send this contract to a secretary to redo your idiotic mistakes.”

Another time, she asked me to submit a rudimentary floor plan for a project she was working on. I did, and she met with me in her office. I knew that I was in trouble when she closed the door behind her. That was never a good sign.

“Have a seat,” she said, gesturing to the chair.

I obeyed.

“Scotty. I’m not going to beat around the bush here,” she began. “You aren’t good enough for this firm. I strongly suspect that Nick advocated for you to be hired because of your rather glorious rack, and nothing more.”

I crossed my arms, and cursed the size of my breasts again. I was very, very careful not to display them, unlike Portia herself, who favored low cut shirts and high cut skirts.

I tried not to take her other words to heart. That I wasn’t good enough. It was bad enough that I felt that, but it really stung to have a senior partner tell me what I felt about myself anyway.

“I’m very sorry, Ms. Anson. I’ll re-do that floor plan if you want.”

“It’s not just the floor plan. It’s your work, in general. I’ve seen it, of course. I was overruled in hiring you. Your work is amateurish and shows zero creativity. This floor plan you gave me is something that a high school student would submit.”

I felt my pulse racing. Was this what the other partners thought about me? Was this the reputation that I had around the firm? Did they all suspect that Nick hired me for the size of my breasts and not my talent? Was I even talented at all?

To say that my confidence was undermined by Portia’s talk would be the understatement of the year. It brought back all my old insecurities, stemming from my mother constantly telling me that I was stupid and worthless. Then, when one foster family after another refused to adopt me, that feeling of worthlessness compounded. Mr. Lucas’ actions drove it home - I wasn’t good for anything but my body. Now, here was Portia, telling me in no uncertain terms that this was the case.

I wasn’t smart, and I wasn’t talented. I was just a walking set of double Ds.

I willed myself not to cry. Crying was professional suicide, I knew, so I bit my lip to stop the tears. I looked up, and Portia was still staring at me, a cruel look on her beautiful face. “Re-do the floor plan, from scratch. Give me something that a 16-year-old wouldn’t be able to do. ASAP.” Then she gave the plan back to me.

I had no idea what to do, because I had no idea why the floor plan was wrong. She gave me no advice on how I could fix it. And I was scared, terrified in fact, of asking another senior partner to help me with it. What if it really was terrible? They would know it by looking at it, and then everybody would know that I was incompetent. I would lose my internship, and Nick would lose respect for me. Then I would be too embarrassed to see him in class, so I would have to drop his classes, which would lead me to not be able to graduate on time. If at all.

The whole thing would land me drunk on the couch like my mother.

I could ask Nick for help, but would he give me an unbiased opinion on it? Besides that, if that floor plan really was at the high school level, he would start to doubt ever having me come to work there.

So, when Nick came and found me for lunch, he could tell that something was wrong.

“Thanks for the offer, Nick, but I’m really not hungry,” I said. When he walked into the room where I was working, I immediately took my floor plan and put it on my lap. I didn’t want him to see my incompetent design.

He sat down, and then got right back up to close the door. Then he sat back down and took my hands. I drew a breath, but I was starting to get used to him at least touching my hands.

Baby steps.

“Scotty, honey, there’s something wrong,” he said, touching my cheek. He had a look of concern in those beautiful blue eyes of his. He kissed my forehead gently, and I felt like melting.

I wanted to tell him that this job wasn’t right for me. That Portia just confirmed that I wasn’t good enough. That I was embarrassed to be working there, because I didn’t belong. That my mother was right after all.

Instead I just said “no, nothing wrong. I, I, I just need to get something into Portia right away.”

“Portia,” he said, and then his demeanor changed. “That’s why you’re upset. She’s treating you like shit, isn’t she?”

“No,” I lied. The last thing I wanted to do was cause friction between the partners. That would be the surest way to get gone, if Portia had more allies on the firm than Nick did. Which was highly possible, as Nick had only started working there a few months before, and Portia had been there for years. “No, no. It’s just something that I need to re-do for her, that’s all. Not a big deal.”

“I know better,” he said. “You’re really upset.” He looked pissed. “I’m going to have to have a talk with her.”

“No, please don’t. Please. I just started working here. I don’t need there to be problems already. I already feel like I’m going to be skating on thin ice because…”

He nodded his head in understanding. “Of course. I don’t want to cause problems, either. I need you to succeed here, and the
politics of this will be complicated. I’ll just have to pull my weight to make sure that you aren’t on her service, at all, anymore.”

“How are you going to do that? I’m on everybody’s service right now.”

“I’ll think of something. In the meantime, you need to eat, so you’re coming with me.”

“But Portia-“

“Can wait. Get your coat and hat, and let’s go get some pizza.”

So, on that Saturday afternoon, I felt apprehensive about going over to Nick’s loft. If it weren’t for the fact that Jack was excited to go, overly so, I would’ve tried to cancel.

“Love,” Jack said. “Why aren’t you more excited for tonight? We’re going over to Nick’s loft in Tribeca. Tribeca! Girl, you’ve hit the big time there.”

“I don’t know, Jack. I just don’t think it’s going to work between Nick and me.”

“Oh, what was I thinking. Of course, you’re right. Well, it was good between you guys while it lasted.” He rolled his eyes. “Do I have to do some Scotty ass-kicking?”

“Well, I might have jumped the gun. I mean, he kissed me, but I doubt it meant much to him. I get the feeling that he might be a man-whore.”

“And why, pray-tell, would you think that?”

I didn’t really know. I mean, he had slept with Portia, which was obviously why she had it in for me. My rational brain knew that was why she obviously hated me. My emotional brain thought that her biting, almost savage, insults were true.

But just because he slept with Portia didn’t make him a man-whore.

It was probably just an excuse I was making for not getting emotionally involved with him.

“I don’t know. I guess he isn’t.”

“Come on, now, girl. You have to get psyched for this. The man of your dreams is having us for dinner tonight. That’s huge! It’s huge that you even like somebody. I’ve never seen you give anybody the time of day before. Now, you’ve gotten your first kiss from a gorgeous and wealthy man. And, this just in, he seems to be crazy about you. You have to get happy.”

I knew that. I had tried so hard to erase my doubts about myself. It was starting to work. Then, Portia’s comments brought back everything that made me doubt myself in the first place. And, just like that, I was back to believing that I could never truly catch the eye of somebody like Nick.

I just hoped that he didn’t see me as another notch on his bedpost. That would be absolutely devastating to me. So, I knew that if he had any designs of eventually getting me into bed, he had another thing coming. It would be a long, long time before I could trust enough to do that with somebody.

Even if that somebody had beautiful blue eyes, a perfect face and body, and was, thus far, the kindest man I had ever known.

Chapter 22

So, Jack and I found ourselves in the limousine going to Tribeca. I had let Jack do a slight makeover on me, but made sure that he didn’t put too much makeup on my face.

“Well, Scotty, that’s just as well,” Jack said, as lightly sponged some foundation on my cheeks. Blusher, lipstick and eye shadow were on the table next to me, waiting to be applied. “It’s just as well that I don’t put a lot of makeup on you, because you’re beautiful when you first wake up in the morning. You’re beautiful always. So, really, I’m not doing much with this makeover. I just like to play, you know that.”

I nodded. I did know that he liked to play around with makeup, which was why I humored him in this. In fact, before he had the ambition to become a Broadway actor, he had the ambition to be a makeup artist.

My hair was another story. I never knew that to do with it. I badly needed a haircut, but I couldn’t afford it. I really didn’t want to go to one of the cheapo chop shops, so I pretty much just let it grow.

So, I did what I usually did with it, and put it up, twisting it into a top knot and securing it with a butterfly clip.

I didn’t obsess as much about what I would wear as I did the night that I met Ryan. I felt very blue about going that night, so I couldn’t get into looking through my wardrobe for something nice. Jack had to find something that looked somewhat classic, yet somewhat sexy, which was what I wanted.

Portia had taken all the excitement I had about the possibility of being with Nick. Because I saw the future. If I dated him, everybody would know, and Portia would have the long knives out for me then. At the moment, she was tormenting me just because I worked for Nick, and she apparently was jealous about that. I could just imagine how she would act if Nick and I became an item.

But Jack was totally excited for the evening. When Charlie pulled up in the limo, Jack was bouncing off the walls. “Look at that, Scotty, a limo. Fancy, fancy. Wonder if it has a mini-bar in there?”

“No, it doesn’t. It’s not one of those limos.”

“Well, it’s a limo. Sure beats the hell out of the subway. No chance of somebody urinating on us in a limo.”

“Sure,” I said, without enthusiasm. “It’s a nice limo, too, so, yeah, it sure beats the hell out of the subway.”

We got in the back, and Jack put his arm around me. “Cheer up, Scotty. You have to get happy before you see Mr. Wonderful.”

I nodded. I had to start feeling better about myself, in general. I needed a dose of happiness before going to Nick’s loft. After the life I led, going to a Tribeca loft in a limo was a surreal experience, and I really was lucky for getting to do this.

We soon arrived at his loft. Nick was standing in the cold, waiting for us in a trench coat, scarf and hat. Jack looked out the window at him, then back at me. “He looks really hot, Scotty. You weren’t exaggerating.”

Charlie opened the door for us, and we got out. Nick came forth to shake Jack’s hand. “Jack, Nick,” he said, introducing himself. Then he looked at me. My heart started doing a little dance again, and, momentarily, Portia’s cruelty was forgotten. “Scotty,” he said, and put his arm around me. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too, Nick,” I said, glancing at Jack. He was giving a look like
hubba hubba.
He nodded, his eyes wide. Jack obviously found Nick as beautiful as everybody else in the world seemed to. Including Portia.

And, at that, we made our way into his building.

Chapter 23

Nick

I was waiting for Scotty and Jack to arrive, and I was ever so slightly nervous. I knew that something happened with Scotty and Portia, but I didn’t know what. And I didn’t know how to deal with that situation, because I wanted to make sure that Scotty’s position was secure. I did get Scotty taken off of Portia’s service, but that was tricky. The partners didn’t know about Portia and me. So, they really didn’t quite understand why it was a problem having Scotty handling some of Portia’s projects, and I had to make something up.

“Portia is more of a pragmatist and business-oriented. Scotty’s more of a right-brained type. She would do better sticking to the designers like myself and Robert and Ted,” I said to
George, referring to some of the other senior design partners at the firm.

“But Nick,” George said, “She needs to work for everyone, so that she gets to know us all. Why would you want to take that away from her?”

Think fast, Nick. Time to possibly throw Portia under the bus.
“Actually, I’m just concerned. Portia sometimes sees other women as competition, as opposed to being nurturing for them. Scotty is a rare talent, and I don’t want her to feel beat down.”

George looked thoughtful at that. “Come to think of it, Portia doesn’t get along with the other women at this firm. Only the men.” He looked at me. “Well, I suppose it couldn’t hurt. There are plenty of other interns to do her bidding. I understand that you’re looking out for Scotty. She’s lucky to have someone like you in her corner.”

And, just like that, Scotty was off Portia’s service.

I was looking forward to telling her about that this evening. Hell, I was looking forward to seeing her. Dying to see her, in fact. The last time I was dying to see a woman was…..I couldn’t remember when. Maybe never. Scotty had touched my heart like no woman ever had. Even Iris.

So, I made sure that the dinner was special. I didn’t cook, of course, but I hired a gourmet chef to come in and prepare wild salmon, baby artichokes, wild rice risotto and a winter squash puree. Dessert would be a chocolate crumble parfait. I made sure that my bar was stocked completely with everything that anybody would want. I got a white table cloth and lit candles. I even built a fire in the fireplace. A vintage bottle of wine was corked and ready.

I really wanted to impress her and her friend, like I never had wanted to impress anybody.

I waited for Charlie to call me from the limo to let me know that they were five minutes away, and I went down to meet them.

She arrived with her friend, Jack. I shook his hand, and he greeted me, and I inwardly sighed with relief.
Jack is obviously gay, so not a threat.
I showed them up to my loft, and Jack was obviously impressed. Scotty was, too, but she had already been here, so it didn’t impress her nearly as much.

“Nick,” Jack squealed. “This artwork is amazing. Where did you get these?”

“Various auctions,” I said. “Some came from Sotheby’s auctions, some from Bonhams, others from Phillips and still others from Christies.”

Jack looked at Scotty, and I heard him whisper “You never told me he was this wealthy.” Scotty shot him a look back, and motioned to me, embarrassed. I smiled. Scotty amused me.

“So, you’re like a collector?” Jack asked. “How much is your collection worth?”

“Jack,” Scotty said, and gave him a look like she was saying
you’re being rude.

“
It’s okay, Scotty. Uh, my art collection is worth around $750 million in all. I have other art work in my house on Lake Como, and some are on loan to various art museums around the world. Mainly photography in the Lake Como house - Ansel Adams, Dianne Arbus, people like that, but I do have a few Warhols and even a Pollock.”

At that, Jack just mouthed the word “wow” to Scotty.

“Lake Como? So, you’re like neighbors with George Clooney and people like that?” Jack asked.

“I suppose,” I said, not telling them that I had actually met the guy a few times. Nice guy, really.

“And, what, Gwyneth Paltrow and Meryl Streep are your neighbors here?”

I nodded. I was feeling uncomfortable discussing my wealth, because I could see, on Scotty’s face that she wasn’t liking it. “Well, have a seat. I can make you any kind of drink you like,” I said, going behind the bar. Then I smiled at Scotty. “The tables are turned, huh, Scotty? I’m going to be the bartender tonight.”

She smiled. I could tell that she was feeling more at ease now the focus was shifting away from my wealth. “Yes, I guess it is at that.”

“So, what can I get you?” I asked her. “Martini, scotch, mojito?”

“Uh, I’d like, uh, a seven and seven,” she said. “Jack, what do you want?”

“A Cosmo,” he said.

I smiled and made their drinks, and served them with some cocktail napkins. “Let me check with Adrien, the chef for the night, and see where the food is. In the meantime, I have some apple slices and brie, and some gnocchi.”

“Thank you,” she said, as I went in to the kitchen to check on how the food was coming. At the same time, I peeked out to see how they were doing. They were sitting on the couch, sipping their drinks and munching on some snacks. Their body language showed me that they were feeling more comfortable, so that made me happy.

The food was almost ready, so I asked Adrien to bring everything out, and he promised he would in five minutes time.

“So,” I said, “the food’s almost ready, so why don’t you guys join me here in the dining room?”

We all sat down around the dining room table. Adrien brought out the food, and we started eating. Scotty again looked like she wanted to attack her food, but she restrained herself. As she looked down at her plate, I just stared at her, mesmerized. She was so beguiling for me, so intriguing.

It was then that I realized that I was in love with this girl, like I had never been in love with anybody ever before.

And, more importantly, I realized that I had finally allowed myself to fall in love.

I only hoped that she felt the same way about me.

But, tonight wasn’t necessarily about Scotty. It was about Jack. I had to befriend him so that I could talk to him about Scotty. About the best way to win her heart. Because, at that moment, I had no idea how to do it.

No clue.

“So, Jack,” I said. “Scotty tells me that you’re involved in the theater.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “If you could call it that. I’ve gone on about a million auditions, and nothing yet.”

“Well, I have a few connections to some Broadway producers. Would you like-“

“Oh, god yes. Yes. If you could pull some strings, I would love you forever.” Jack was evidently getting a little bit drunk. “Hell, I think I could marry you even if you don’t help me out. You’re beautiful, and so nice. So kind to Scotty.”

I smiled. Things were going well, so far, in my next step of Operation Scotty.

Scotty was kicking Jack under the table, though. She apparently wasn’t getting nearly as drunk as Jack was. I found myself wishing that she would. All I wanted was for her to relax.

“Well, I’ll give them a call first thing Monday morning,” I said. “You’ll be getting more jobs, I predict.”

“Thanks, gorgeous,” Jack said, reaching for another glass of wine. Scotty kicked him again, and he looked at her. “What? We’re not driving. What’s the big deal?”

“So, what kind of plays do you like to do?” I asked him. “Musicals, dramas, comedies?”

“Whoever will hire
me. I’m kinda a whore that way. But I’m not that great of a singer, although I have been in the chorus on a few off-Broadway musicals. Off-off Broadway, really.”

Scotty admonished him at that. “Jack, stop putting yourself down. You’re an excellent singer. And Nick here is an amazing piano player. So, maybe Nick can play later on while you sing along. You can show him your talent.”

Jack just shrugged. “I guess that I’m okay. But obviously not the best in town. If I were, I’d be getting parts, which isn’t the case.”

“Well, then, Scotty has a good idea,” I said. “Why don’t I play for you tonight and you can sing for me? I do need a good idea about your talent before I put in a phone call to Bob.”

“Bob. You mean Bob Terrill? One of the biggest producers in town?” Jack was incredulous.

I nodded my head. “Yeah, actually, I went to Harvard with him. He was on my crew team. So, no problem, I’ll put in a good word for you no matter what. And, if your singing voice impresses me, I’ll definitely be able to vouch for you on some of the musicals he has in the pipeline.”

This was working out well. Very well. I never even considered the possibility that I could use my connections to get on Jack’s good side. Of course, the whole thing reeked of manipulation, but it was for a good cause. Getting to know Jack would help me win Scotty, and that was all that mattered to me at that moment.

“Oh my god,” Jack said, clapping his hands. “You rowed crew? I can just imagine you in one of those tight little tank tops and shorts they wear. It’s one of my favorite Olympic sports to watch for just that reason.”

“Well, at Harvard, rowing crew wasn’t that big of a deal. Most of my buddies rowed with me.”

Jack was looking at me with stars in his eyes. Scotty wasn’t looking at me at all. She was staring into her full wine glass pensively. I had a feeling I knew what her issue was. She didn’t have to tell me that Portia was cruel to her yesterday. I already surmised as much. Which complicated the whole situation between Scotty and me all the more. She was no doubt afraid that getting involved with me would result in professional suicide for her, because of Portia’s jealousy.

The problem was, she was probably right. Portia had been with the firm for 10 years, compared to my three months, and she was, unfortunately, one of the firm’s biggest rainmakers. Of course, I probably still had the upper hand, simply because this firm went through great lengths to bring me aboard, and because of my reputation as a world-renowned architect who gave the firm a certain prestige. Still, I had no idea how a power struggle with Portia would play out. It wasn’t cut and dried, as Portia obviously had some loyalists at the firm. I hadn’t had the chance to make quite the same strong connections as she had over the years.

But, one thing was for sure. I would go to bat for Scotty if push came to shove.

I would go to the ends of the earth for this girl.

After dessert, Jack said “well, handsome, why don’t you get that cute tush of yours over to that piano and let’s make some beautiful music together?”

“Let’s go,” I said. “But let me warm up.” I wanted to show off for Scotty and Jack some. I mean, Scotty knew that I could play, but I really didn’t show her what I could do. So, I decided to “warm up” by playing the most complicated classical piece I knew – Rachmaninoff’s Third Piano Concerto, which was known as one of the most difficult piano pieces in the world. It was the concerto that literally drove David Helfgott crazy, as shown in the movie
Shine.
This was a complex movement, and it took a great deal of skill, as the part I played was in adagio and covered all the keys. But it was one that I had mastered years before.

Jack and Scotty both stood over the piano while I played, and both of them looked at me in awe.

When I was done with my “warm-up” I looked up and met Scotty’s beautiful green eyes. They were filled with tears. Jack’s eyes were just wide, and his mouth was open.

“That’s incredible,” Scotty said softly, wiping away tears. “I’ve never heard such a beautiful rendition of that movement.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, I usually use this piece to warm up,” I said, which was a lie. I usually used much less complex pieces than this to warm up, but I really wanted to impress Scotty. She seemed to know her classical composers and music, so I knew that she would appreciate it.

It seemed that it worked.

“Okay, then,” I said to Jack. “What would you like to sing for me?”

“Do you know
Corner of the Sky
from
Pippin?
”

“Hmmm, hang on,” I said. Then I put my television on, finding
YouTube
, and I watched the video of the song once. That was another secret that I had that very few people knew about me, except maybe Ryan – I could literally play music by ear.

So, after watching the video just once, I told Jack I was ready.

“Ready? You watched the video once.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m ready. Are you?”

Jack looked skeptical, but, as I played the opening notes, he was convinced, and started to sing along. He actually wasn’t bad, to my relief. A few bum notes here and there, some sharp, some flat, but, overall, not bad. I wouldn’t have too much of a difficult time convincing Bob to give him an audition.

After he was done, I asked him if he wanted me to play
Magic to Do
from
Pippin.
That song was on the same video as
Corner of the Sky,
so I knew that one as well.

“Sure,” he said. “I know that one, too. I’ve been practicing these songs, hoping to get an audition, so I know every song from
Pippin.
”