Broken (8 page)

Chapter 14

Scotty

I couldn’t get out of that office fast enough. When Nick touched my hands back there, I felt a jolt of electricity like I had never experienced before. I felt that innocent touch all the way through my body, and I felt like every hair was standing on end. My heart was pounding in my ears, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

At the same time, I felt the chill of ice-cold fear. I heard Mr. Lucas’ voice in my ears.
Scotty, now, this isn’t going to hurt
, he had said, as he got under the covers next to me on my tiny twin bed. His hands reached underneath my pajamas, as he rubbed my stomach, and then his hands made their way to my newly sprouted breasts.

Of course, he lied. It did hurt. A lot. Mentally and physically, it was excruciating. And I never got used to it, even though it happened just about every night for about a year.

So, I ended up running away. I found an abandoned car and lived in it. I told people about Mr. Lucas, finally, but nobody could believe that this rich, handsome man, with a lovely wife, who was a pillar of the community, would do something like that.

But he did.

And nobody would listen to me.

The only good thing was that I met Jack through that entire mess. He actually was the one who found me living in that car. I was sitting there in the car, minding my own business, when
he came up to the window and looked in. He looked quite a bit different back then. He was going through his punk phase – his hair was dyed jet black, with a shock of blonde in the very front. He was wearing a too-tight half-shirt, too-tight pants and high boots.

I was startled, but I took one look at him and knew that he was gay. So, I felt surprisingly comfortable. I knew that he wasn’t there to do what Mr. Lucas did to me. I wasn’t afraid of being raped again, in other words.

“Hello?” I said tentatively. “Can I help you?”

“Girl. Don’t be alarmed. My name is Jack. I noticed you back at that gas station, and I had this weird feeling there was something wrong. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw you dumpster-diving not five minutes later. So, I followed you. Are you living here?”

He was referring to the gas station that I frequented when I needed something to eat. I collected cans and bottles all day long to pay for the meager hot dogs that I bought at this place every day. That was pretty much what I lived on – convenience store hot dogs. Well, convenience store hot dogs and things that I found in the dumpster. I always found great things in the dumpster, surprisingly, especially on certain days of the week.

“No, I’m not living here,” I said, but the condition of the car said differently. There was a ton of stuff in that car. Bags of clothing and shoes, an entire library of books that I bought at various used book fairs, pillows and blankets. Hats and coats. The one thing it didn’t have, however, was trash – I was very careful to throw out all my food wrappers and drink cups, because I just couldn’t handle living among trash. But, it was two birds, one stone – I threw stuff out, and dumpster dove while I was there.

Jack gave me his patented
bitch, please
look. “What is your name?” he asked.

“Scotty. Scotty James.”

“Well, Scotty, why are you living here in this abandoned car? I’m surprised you haven’t been put in the pokey pokey by now.”

“Um, I don’t have a place to stay,” I said, feeling comfortable enough to talk to this perfect stranger about some of my problems. “My mother is a drunk, and my foster father…”

“Foster father what?”

“Nothing. He wasn’t anybody I wanted to live with anymore, that’s all.”

“What, was he a perv?”

I didn’t say anything, but my face probably said it all.

“Uh, huh,” he said, doing a neck roll. “Say no more, girlfriend.”

He just stood there and stared at me for about five seconds more, and then said “Well, come on.”

“Come on where?”

“You’re coming to stay with me. I might not have much, but what’s mine is yours.”

“I don’t even know you.”

“Fine. Live in that car. But if you want a nice hide-a-bed to sleep on, an actual stove, fridge and shower, then come with me.”

Which was how I came to live with Jack in his tiny apartment, the place where I still lived. I somehow managed to escape detection of the child protection services people, and my foster family apparently never reported me missing. Of course, how they managed to get through the status hearings on my case without me being there was beyond me. I would imagine that my case was one of the many that fell through the cracks of the system. I only knew that I was able to enroll in a new school close by the uptown apartment where I moved, and, even though I was behind because of my stay in the car, I was quickly able to catch up, and ended up graduating at the top of my class.

I had to work, of course, even when I first started living with him.
Even though I was only fourteen, I still managed to find a job at a drug store, after lying to them and telling them that I was sixteen. That wasn’t hard to believe, as I was certainly built like somebody quite a bit older. Jack was having a hard time managing the apartment bills on his own, so I started chipping in. When I was able to start paying half the rent, we started sharing the bedroom – alternating sleeping on the hide-a-bed and sleeping in the bedroom.

So, Jack literally saved my life.

Now, there was Nick. As a boss, anyhow. Not as a boyfriend. But the feelings I was having, just being close to him, were terrifying and exhilarating all at once. There was the strong feeling that he was liking me as much as I was liking him, and to say that I was confused at that moment would be understating it.

I was lost in thought, making copy after copy of designs, contracts and other documents, when Nick came in to check on me. “How’s it going?” he asked.

I turned around. He was standing in the doorway of the copying room, two glasses of water in his hands. “Here,” he said, giving me one of the glasses of water. “I thought you might be thirsty.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking the water. Then my eyes fell on the Rolex watch that was on his right wrist. I knew that he was left-handed, so it made sense that he wore his watch on his opposite arm. The watch was beautiful and encrusted with diamonds. Probably my entire yearly salary there at this firm would buy a watch like this. Maybe.

I also noticed that his hands were elegant and beautiful. Like the rest of him. Long fingers, perfectly groomed nails. He didn’t have a callous on them.

I suddenly felt like a total dork as I realized that he was bemused by my staring at his hands. I looked up, and he was looking at me with a half-smile on his beautiful face. “What are you thinking about, Scotty?”

That you are the most physically perfect specimen of man that I have ever laid eyes on.
“Nothing,” I said. “I have everything copied.”

“That you do. You’re nothing if not efficient,” he said. “Come on, it’s lunchtime. Let’s go and grab something.” He put his hand on my shoulder, and my breath caught. “Let’s go get your hat and coat and everything and go to that bistro around the corner for some chow-chow.”

“Thanks,” I said. I went and got my hat, coat and purse, and then looked inside my wallet. Nick was soon joining me. “Uh, Nick, that bistro is kinda out of my budget. Can we get fast food?”

Nick looked stunned for a split second. Then it looked like he was about to burst out laughing. “Scotty, my dear, this lunch is on me, silly girl.” Then he shook his head, and tousled my hair. “You’re adorable.”

“Well, you bought dinner the other night. It should be my turn.”

“You’re adorable,” he repeated. “Come on, let’s go.”

We walked along, and Nick took my hand. My heart started pounding wildly, so I had to mentally talk myself down.
Calm down, Scotty. He’s only holding your hand. He’s not going to hurt you. He won’t hurt you. He won’t hurt you. He will not hurt you.

“Oops,” he said. “I keep involuntarily holding your hand. I don’t even think about it. Weird, huh?” Then he dropped my hand. “Guess I shouldn’t be holding my intern’s hand. People might talk.”

I just nodded my head. I had no words at that moment.

I wish Jack were here. He would know what to say. He’d make me feel fierce. Right now, I just feel like a dork.

We got to the restaurant, and I self-consciously put my napkin on my lap immediately. I already knew that I couldn’t attack my food the way that I did before. Which would be harder than ever, because the new clothes cost me so much that I was eating less than ever. Turns out Jack wasn’t joking when he said that we could live on Ramen Noodles and Mac and Cheese for awhile.

Once again, I gravitated towards something inexpensive. At this place, thank god, there were less expensive things that I could order without guilt. “I think I’m going to go with the chicken sandwich,” I said. “With fries.”

He smiled. “Honey, you don’t have to order the least expensive thing every time. Trust, I got this.”

“Oh, it’s not that. I really like chicken sandwiches. Especially if it features avocados.”

“Okay, then,” he said, looking skeptical. So, when the waiter came around, he ordered the
coq au vin
for him and the chicken sandwich for me.

“So,” he said.

“So,” I said.

Then I saw him take a deep breath, and look at me. “Scotty, I hope that you can learn to trust me eventually.”

“I don’t understand?”

“Your body language…you’re scared to death of me. I can’t quite figure out why.”

“Oh, no. It’s not you,” I said, perhaps too quickly, “it’s my first day, so I’m very nervous.”

“You don’t need to be. You’re a star. I hope you come to accept that as well.”

“I hope I do, too.” Then I looked at him, and decided to be bold and ask him a question that was really none of my business. “Um, Nick. Portia. She, uh, really likes you, huh?”

Nick blushed. I wondered why.

“Portia really likes me. You might say that. How did you figure that out?”

“Well, some of the things she said were pretty pointed. I mean, she tried to cover it up by using double entendres, but her tone of voice told me that she’s pretty pissed at you about something. I figured it was an affair gone wrong.”

“You certainly are perceptive.”

I shrugged. “I’m a woman. I know other women. I mean, it really isn’t my business, so I’m sorry to pry.”

“You aren’t prying. It was something that was pretty stupid of me to embark upon.”

“Well, you know, you aren’t the first to use poor judgment, and I doubt you’ll be the last.”

Then he gave me a look.

If I wasn’t mistaken, it was a look of love.

Chapter 15

Nick

I was sitting across from this woman, and all I could think was that I was falling head over heels for her. There was just no denying it, even to myself. She was probably the most amazing woman I had ever met. Intelligent, unpretentious, beautiful, sweet.

And guileless. So guileless.

Even so, she was as out of my reach as Iris was. Because she was completely closed off. Scared. Terrified, even. I had no idea how to approach her. How to reach her. She was an enigma, to say the very least.

I had to invite her out to dinner with me when Ryan came into town. He had to meet her, assess her, and tell me how to approach her. There had never been a woman that I needed an owner’s manual to figure out, but Scotty would be that woman. I needed an objective eye, and Ryan would be in town the day after tomorrow. Something about interviewing some people for his new animal sanctuary. He was going to be here without Iris, thank god. Seeing Iris would have been the only thing that could have possibly caused me even more confusion about Scotty and my feelings for her.

“Uh, Scotty,” I said. “Are you busy Wednesday evening?”

“No, I don’t have special plans. Why do you ask?”

“You, uh. I’d like you to meet somebody. Somebody who means a lot to me. My best friend from the time I was five years old. I told him about you, about your interning for me, and he wants to meet you.”

“Oh, of course. He just wants to meet me because I’m interning for you?”

She looked disappointed when she said that.

“Yes, because you’re interning for me. Are you interested?”

“Sure.”

So, we made plans to meet on Wednesday at
Nobu,
which was in my neighborhood. I would have my driver pick her up, of course, knowing that it was somewhat rude to make her go across town, when I only have to walk to the restaurant, but that was the place that Ryan had picked.

I was counting on him to assess her and tell me what to do. Because I honestly didn’t know. I knew that this was a woman who was special, and there was definitely potential for the two of us to be much more than what we were. But, at the same time, there was
something up with her. Something that she wasn’t willing to tell me. Perhaps she would feel more comfortable with Ryan. Everybody always loved that guy, and what was not to love? Super nice guy, even though he has had more of a fucked up life than anybody I had ever known.

After lunch, I walked her back to the office, trying hard to resist the temptation to hold her hand as we strolled along back to the building. When we got back to the office she went back to work doing her copying and going around and talking to everybody in the firm, most of whom had some kind of grunt work for her to do. I didn’t really see her for the rest of the day, but I found myself thinking about her about every five minutes while I worked on my designs for the big project we had. I had to get this done, because there would be another meeting in a week, so they expected to see good progress.

Yet, I couldn’t take my mind off of that girl.

So, there was one thing that I absolutely knew I had to do. Something that I wasn’t looking forward to, but was way overdue.