Beginnings of the Heart (20 page)

“Thank you. I'm not sure what I would have done if you hadn't come and rescued me.” I said.

“You're a smart woman and a great mom. You would have figured something out. Now, I want you to try and get some rest. It's been a long day, and I have a feeling it's going to be a very short night. I love you, Morgan, probably more than you know.”

“I love you more, Cole. And I know it's more than you know.”

It seemed like I had just closed my eyes when I heard Victoria start to cry. I forced my sleep-deprived eyes open. It felt like they were full of sand. It didn't take any time to figure out why we were here. The memories of the night before were still very fresh in my mind.

I took care of Victoria's needs and then shuffled to Cole's room. I crawled into the bed and laid Victoria down between us, hoping she would be quiet for a little while and let me nap.

She wasn't in a cooperative mood today, it would seem. Interested in her new surroundings, she was too busy looking around to settle down and take a little nap herself.

I laid there with my eyes closed and listened to her babble away. I felt the bed move, and my eyes snapped open. I looked directly into two identical pairs of deep blue eyes.

“Good morning. I thought she might go back to sleep if I brought her in here. Sorry if she woke you.” I smiled at Cole.

“It's okay. I guess I have to start getting used to being up this early anyway. Since the two of you are here now I get to help out.” Cole said, reaching over so Victoria could grab his finger.

“I guess so.” I smiled at the picture in front of me.

The rest of the morning was spent talking to his parents and settling all of my stuff. His parents assured me Victoria and I were not going to be considered an inconvenience.

The only thing still to be figured out was how I was going to get home after my dismissal from school every day. Cole had just offered to let me drive his car, and he would grab a ride from someone else at school or ride the bus if he had to when there was a knock on the front door.

We all looked at one another and I'm sure no one was thinking the same thing. It turned out my thoughts were the closest since I was afraid my parents were going to show up and insist I go home with them.

Cole's mom came back into the kitchen where we all were, and there was a look of uncertainty on her face.

“Morgan, your dad is here, and he's waiting for you out on the front porch. He said he would understand if you didn't want to talk to him right now, but he is alone…” She left the rest unsaid.

“I'll go talk to him. He isn't the reason I left anyway.” I said, standing up to go.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Cole asked with an identical look of uncertainty on his face.

“No, I'll be okay.” I said, smiling to reassure him.

I went out onto the front porch and saw my father standing there looking out over the property surrounding the house.

“Hey.” I began.

“Hey. Morgan, I want you to know I don't blame you for anything. I wish I'd been there last night, and maybe all of this could have been avoided.” he said, sounding so sad I wanted to comfort him.

“I don't think it would have made a difference in the end. I think this has been coming for a long time. It just all came together last night. I hope you understand I couldn't stay there any longer. I have to think about Victoria too, and I refuse to subject her or myself to anyone who is going to be so cruel.” I said.

“I understand you feel like you can't be at home right now. Your mother and I have had a talk, and she is going to go and have some counseling. It's something she should have had a long time ago.” he explained.

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“I'm glad she's going to get some help, but it doesn't change things right now. I think… right now this is the best place for Victoria and me to be. I hope you can… accept it.” I stammered out.

“I can. Cole's been trying to get the two of you out here for a long time, hasn't he? He really does think of you and Victoria as his family, doesn't he?”

“Yeah, he does. He loves us both and wants us to be happy and safe.” I said.

My dad looked away from me and back to the landscape. I hoped he understood it wasn't anything he had done or not done.

“Well, I think for now this might be the best place for the two of you. I think you and your mother need some time apart to sort this whole mess out, and I'm not blind to the fact most of it's of her own making. Now, about your car.”

“What about the car?” I asked, uncertain of where he was going.

“If someone can come up and get it, you can keep it for as long as you need it. I'll keep paying the insurance, and I'll make sure you have whatever you need. You're still my daughter and I will continue to take care of you, whether you live in my house or not. But we can figure it all out later. For now I just wanted to be sure you and my granddaughter were doing okay.” He came over and awkwardly put his arms around me to give me a hug.

I wrapped my arms around him to return the hug, and both of our eyes were wet when we ended the embrace.

“I think it would be best if you could pick the car up before your mother gets home from work.” He stopped there but he looked like he had more to say.

“What else do you want to say Dad? I can see there's something.” I said, trying to help him out.

He gave me a half grin before answering my question. “I was hoping maybe your sister and I could come down here every once in a while and see you and Victoria.”

“I would really like that.” I said, oddly relieved.

“Well then, we'll be seeing you. You make sure you're taking care of yourself and my granddaughter, okay?”

“I will. I promise.”

After a few weeks we all settled into a routine. It was actually a lot easier living here than it had been at my old house. I didn't have to rush in the morning to get Victoria and myself ready. I didn't have to worry about taking her out in the cold either, which was great since winter weather had arrived with a vengeance.

My dad and sister had started coming down to see us every Sunday. By mutual and silent agreement we never mentioned my mother at these visits, but I did receive little updates from Samantha while we were at school.

Before I knew it we were helping Cole's mom decorate the house for Christmas, and the excitement level was heightened this year for all of us because this would be Victoria's first Christmas.

I wasn't sure there would be anything left for Cole and I to buy after his mother was done shopping for her. I had finally decided what to get Cole from his daughter, and hopefully he wouldn't go snooping around and find it.

I made a little handprint and a footprint and had them matted and framed with a picture of Cole and Victoria. I kept sneaking a peek at it because I loved it so much and was hoping Cole would feel the same way.

My dad and Samantha brought Victoria's Christmas gifts the Sunday before since they weren't sure if they would make it on Christmas day. Victoria seemed to be more interested in the shiny bows Samantha had put on the packages than she was about the things inside of the boxes, but she was only four months old. Next year she might be a little more interested.

My father handed me a small wrapped box, and I looked at him in confusion.

“You didn't think I would come and not have anything for you, did you?”

I smiled and opened the box. Inside was the most beautiful gold locket. It was oval in shape with a rose engraved on the front and a tiny vine around the edge. I opened it to find a tiny picture of my daughter and a picture of me as a baby.

“Thank you so much. This is beautiful.” I said, with my eyes tearing up. I got up from where I was sitting on the floor and gave him a hug.

“You're very welcome. It was my mother's, and I thought it was time you had it.” Dad said, patting me awkwardly on the back and then looking at my daughter.

The rest of the time with them was spent playing with Victoria and talking about Christmas. It was so relaxing I almost forgot about my mother… almost.

The last few days before Christmas were spent cooking and baking and getting everything ready for the party on Christmas Eve. I helped Cecelia with everything I could and really liked being with her. I think she enjoyed my being there as well. Almost like having a daughter of her own.

The day of Christmas Eve was busier than I thought it would be. We were all wrapping last minute gifts and pitching in to make sure everything was ready for dinner.

Before I realized, it was time to get ready for the party. I dressed Victoria first in her red-and-green plaid dress with the matching headband, white tights, and shiny black shoes. She was so cute I could have squeezed the breath right out of her. After handing her to her ‘too handsome for his own good' father, I went to get dressed.

I was sure I was going to look dowdy next to Cole and Victoria after putting on my green sweater and black leggings, but Cole was all smiles when I came downstairs.

“You look great. I know you don't think so, but you do.”

“Thanks, so do you. Where's Victoria?” I asked, noticing he was alone as I walked over to stand next to him in front of the tree.

This room still took my breath away. The only light right now was coming from the Christmas lights on the tree, the candles Cecelia had lit on the mantle, and the other surfaces around the room.

Cole took my hand in his and then kissed me gently on the lips.

“I've already told you I consider you and Victoria my family, and I'm going to take care of you. I wanted to make it more permanent.”

My eyes widened in shock when he sank down on one knee. He gave me the biggest smile I had ever seen on his face, and I just continued to stare wide eyed.

“Morgan Elise Taylor, will you marry me?”

A million things ran through my head in an instant, but the only one was, “Now?” I asked, shrilly.

To his credit, Cole just laughed and waited for me to come to my senses, which didn't take long.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say…” I said, horrified by what I had said.

“So what did you mean to say?” Cole said with a big smile.

I smiled and giggled at the same time. “Yes! Yes, I will marry you!”

He jumped up from where he had been kneeling and picked me up in a big hug, kissing me the whole time. Now I understood why we happened to be alone in the living room the evening of a fairly large party.

He sat me down and then dug into his pocket and pulled out a little black velvet box. Inside was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. The emerald shaped diamond was laid into a flat setting surrounded by more diamonds.

“It was my grandmother's on my dad's side. We all agreed you should have it. Your dad even thought it would look great on you.” Cole said, as he slid it onto my finger. “A perfect fit.”

“My dad knew you were going to do this and he let you live?” I asked wryly and with a smile.

“Of course, I had to ask his permission after all.” Cole said, smiling and then looking serious. “I love you Morgan, more than my own life.”

“I love you too.”

“Can we come in yet?” Cecelia called from the kitchen.

“They knew you were doing this now?” I asked, a little embarrassed.

“I needed them to all stay out long enough to ask you.” Cole said to me. “Yes you can come in now.”

Cecelia and Mark all came into the room with big, hopeful smiles while holding their granddaughter.

“She said yes, so for better or worse, she's stuck.” he announced with a big smile.

The congratulations were said and the ring looked at. Then the family and friends started arriving for the dinner. Our engagement was announced at dinner by Mark when he made his speech, and everyone seemed genuinely happy.

Christmas the next day went like I hoped it would. Cole loved his gift from Victoria, and everyone loved watching Victoria chew on the bows. The day was perfect except for the absence of my family. I wished things could have been different, but they were pretty perfect the way they were.

****

The spring and summer floated by, marked by the milestones in our lives and Victoria's. Her rolling over, first tooth, crawling, and her first steps. Not to mention when she started saying “mama” and “dada”. Cole graduated from high school and turned nineteen while I worried about completing my senior year of high school and worked with my guidance counselor to get a schedule similar to the one I had the previous year.

Shortly before Victoria's first birthday Cole and I had started to talk about what to do after I graduated. After a lot of discussion and more than a few arguments we decided he would join the military, and when it was possible, I would take college classes wherever we ended up being stationed.

It was not a popular decision, but it made the most sense for us. Eventually his parents and my dad understood we were just trying to provide a future for our family without receiving a lot of help from our families, but it didn't lessen the knowledge we would be leaving. We felt our families had provided enough help, and once I graduated from high school, it would be time for us to stand on our own feet.

We celebrated Victoria's first birthday at the end of July, and she destroyed her cake as hoped. My family, including my mother, was there. Some progress had been made in regards to our relationship, but it hadn't gone beyond being able to speak civilly with one another as there was still a mountain of hurt to work through, but I thought someday I might regret not including her in Victoria's celebration.

Three days later, I said goodbye to Cole. We wouldn't see him again for almost five months. The thought was unbearable, and I was sure the actual time would be excruciatingly slow.

We all drove him to the airport the morning he flew out. Cole and I rode in the back with Victoria between us in her car seat. He kept looking at her and touching her sweet little face framed by my light brown hair. I was staring at him, drinking in the sight of him and hoping it would sustain me through our absence from one another.

We pulled into the parking lot at the airport and got out. We could only go as far as the security checkpoint with him, and after his parents said their goodbyes and he had kissed Victoria, we had a few minutes.

“Morgan, it's going to be fine. I'll be back before you know it.” He whispered into my hair as we hugged.

“I know you will. I'm going to miss you like crazy though.”

“I'll miss you too. Remember what you promised. Take tons of pictures of Victoria and write to me. Make sure you fill me in on everything.” He smiled at me.

“I will. I'll try not to forget anything.” I said, becoming serious. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

Cole gave me a disgusted look like I was underestimating his abilities.

“Of course I'm going to take care of myself. What else would I do?” Cole asked, giving me his confident yet cocky smile.

I couldn't resist rolling my eyes at him and then letting him pull me into a tight hug and kiss me.

“I have to go. Give Victoria kisses from me and remember, I'll be thinking of the two of you the whole time I'm gone.”

“We'll be thinking of you too. I love you and have a safe flight.” I said, forcing a smile I didn't feel like giving.

“I love you too.” Cole said, giving me one more hard kiss and then waving at his parents and Victoria before walking through security.

We waited until he had cleared the security checkpoint and waved to him one last time.

The ride back home was very subdued except for the excited chatter of my beautiful daughter, who with every look reminded me of her father. I tried to not worry about Cole. I knew he would be fine. I think it was the fact I knew I wouldn't be able to see him and confirm with my own eyes he was okay.

We all did our own thing once we arrived back home. Cecelia went out to the barn to work on one of her projects, Mark went to his office to do some paperwork, and Victoria and I sat out on the front porch in one of the rocking chairs.

She played peek-a-boo with the ruffle of the little dress she was wearing and squealed with delight when I gasped in shock at seeing her. When she started to get hungry I went inside to give her a snack and help get dinner ready.

Dinner was less subdued than the car ride home had been, and I think everyone, including myself, was coming out of the little bit of shock we all felt.

I kept looking at the clock to try and judge whether he would have arrived yet. I got up and helped to clear the table while Mark wiped Victoria off and took her out of the highchair. Just as we were all finishing the phone rang, and I dove for it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Morgan, I'm here and everything is fine.” Cole's voice was so relaxed. “So you can stop worrying now.”

I put the phone on speaker so his parents could hear him too.

“I wasn't worrying. What would make you think I was worrying?” I said, joking. How did he always know what I was thinking?

“Hey, son, did you get everything squared away yet?” Mark asked.

“Not yet. This is the only phone call I'm going to get to make for a while so don't be surprised when you don't hear from me.”

“We love you, Cole.” Cecelia said.

“I love all of you too. I have to go now, but you all take care of Victoria and make sure you kiss her for me. I love you, Morgan.”

“I love you too.”

“Bye.” Cole said, and then he was gone.

I breathed a big sigh of relief and even though I knew I wouldn't hear from or see him in a long time, I knew he was there safely. Somehow it made all of this easier.

The next nineteen weeks, and yes I counted every day, went faster than I thought they would and had some interesting developments.

After the initial “wow he's really gone”, I got into the routine of doing a lot of things alone again. This time though I had his parents to help me, unlike when I was alone after Victoria was born.

School was back in session, and this year I was the senior. I still felt very different from my classmates having the responsibilities I did, but it was a little easier this year. I think because Victoria was a year old now instead of a newborn and she actually slept now, which meant I slept too.

I also started stopping in at my parent's house to visit. I only stayed for a very short time the first few, but after becoming more comfortable there I started staying for longer periods. I couldn't fully forget the last fight I had with my mother, but I was trying to move past it. I even left Victoria there once with my sister when I had to go to the doctor's office.

The relationship with my mother was progressing, mostly because she had finally gotten some professional help. We were almost back to where we were after I gave birth to Victoria. Talking about superficial things, but at least it was civil and I didn't have to try and guard my every word. She appeared interested in how things were going and getting to know Victoria even. I still couldn't make myself fully trust her or forgive her yet.

“So tell me how things are here with Mom?” I asked Samantha one day.

“It's actually pretty good. “

I nodded my head as I took a glass figure out of Victoria's plump little hands and put it up where she couldn't get it again.

“How are you?” Samantha asked.

“I'm okay, but I miss Cole so much. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next few weeks.”

“You'll do just fine. I'm just glad you're proving all of the gossips wrong. They would have liked nothing better than to see the two of you fail. Instead you're proof high school sweethearts can last. True love wins in the end.”

“You have a small vindictive streak, don't you?” I asked.

She smiled in response. “I might. I promise to use it only for good though.”