Beginnings of the Heart (15 page)

Molly looked at the screen of the monitor. “It should be starting to end now. Those are definitely contractions you're feeling now. Let me get your blood drawn and the I.V. started, and then I'm going to check you. We'll see if you've made any progress.”

I hated needles, always had. They didn't make me sick or anything, but I could feel them slide into my arm like some foreign anomaly I couldn't do anything about. I just held onto Cole's hand and tried not to look as she drew my blood and then started an I.V. I blew out a breath of relief when she was done, even though there was a piece of tape holding the needle for the I.V. in.

“I'll notify the anesthesiologist we've started the fluids. He'll probably be up soon.”

Another contraction started as she left the room, and I tried to stay relaxed. I also squeezed Cole's hand which helped me to focus on the deep, slow breathing.

“I want to sit up. It hurts too much to lie down.” I demanded.

“I'll help you.” Cole said.

He me up and I curled forward over my belly as far as I could. My back felt suddenly much better and I could concentrate.

When the next contraction came, it didn't feel like it was as bad as the previous. My back didn't hurt as much during it either, and Cole rubbing my back was comforting.

“This sucks! Who would do this on purpose? Especially more than once. Women must be insane to willingly do this and then have three or four kids.” I complained.

“Does this mean you don't want any more after this?” Cole smiled at me.

“Your attempt at humor is not appreciated right now. Here comes another one.” I gritted my teeth against the onslaught of pain ripping through my body in an unending tide.

“I think this one was longer.” Cole said.

“Thanks for stating the obvious.” I ground out between my teeth.

“It's okay. Do you need anything?” Cole asked.

“No, not right now at least. I'm just trying to relax enough to endure the next one. Can you tell how close I am to having it?” I asked.

Cole looked at the machine. “Here it comes. Take a deep breath, Morgan, let it out slowly.” Cole said, coaching me through it.

Molly came back into the room and looked at the paper tape the machine was printing out. “You're doing really well. The anesthesiologist will be up in just a few minutes, and then you will feel much better.”

Molly was scrutinizing one of the monitors. She came and adjusted one of the belts winding all the way around my body and then looked back at the monitor. Her brow started to furrow as she moved the little disc around my belly. It was then I realized I hadn't heard the baby's heartbeat in a while.

“Is there something wrong with the baby?” I asked, terrified something had gone wrong.

“I'm just not picking the baby's heartbeat up as well as I would like. Ah, there it is.” She said as she tightened the belt to hold the disc in place.

Thankfully the anesthesiologist walked into the room and all talk turned to what was going to happen next. Thirty minutes later, I was a happy girl again and didn't care I couldn't feel anything below my waist.

Cole took the opportunity to call and check in with his mom. Apparently she had been on the verge of driving out to the hospital because she hadn't heard from us. Cecelia was content for now to sit at home and wait for the next update.

Dr. James entered the room a few minutes after Cole had hung up with his mother.

“How are you feeling? Molly has updated me on everything.” she said.

“I'm feeling much better now.” I said, smiling.

“Good. Now I'm going to check you once and then we won't check you again for a while. We'll let you relax and see how quickly you progress. You're about six centimeters dilated. Your contractions are also very consistent. I have to go back to the clinic, but Molly will call me if things start moving more quickly than we expect them to. Any questions?”

“Not right now.” I said.

“Alright, I'll check back in with you a little later.”

“Why don't you try and get some sleep or at least rest a little bit.” Cole urged.

“What are you going to do while I lie here and drool?” I giggled.

“I'll just watch you. Seriously, try to go to sleep.”

“Okay, but if my drooling gets too bad, promise to wipe my chin off.” I smiled sleepily. I was tired, but wasn't sure I could fall asleep.

“I love you, Morgan.”

“I love you more, Cole.”

I woke some time later, I'm not sure how much later, to the sound of voices. The voices were quiet, but definitely tense. I struggled to open my eyes, afraid there was something wrong with Victoria.

I was finally able to force my eyes open enough to see who was in the room with me. Over by the door stood Cole and my mother. They both looked like they were about to do battle and I was pretty sure it was about me.

“Hey.” I croaked out.

Cole whirled around and was at my side in half a second it seemed like. My mother made her way over more slowly. She had her arms locked across her chest like she was trying to hold the words she would love to let loose inside.

“Hey.” Cole said while smoothing my hair back from my face. “How do you feel? Do you need anything?”

“No, I'm good. How is Victoria? Have they lost her again, or is she doing okay?”

“She's doing fine. Molly brought you some ice chips if you want them. You can't have anything else until the baby's born.” He explained.

I nodded my understanding and looked at my mother. Why was she here? My mother looked at me and tried to smile.

“I wanted to come down and check on you.” She answered my unspoken question. “Your sister called and told me you had gone to the doctor, so I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

“Thanks. I should have called Samantha and told her what was going on, but it all happened so fast and then the contractions were so painful…” I stopped when she held up her hand.

“You don't need to apologize. I understand, but I
needed to know how you were doing. Cole has said he will ca
ll us with any more news and also when you get closer so we can come down and see the baby when she's born.” She came over and kissed me on the forehead like she did when I was little. “I have to go back to work now, but we'll see you later.”

She walked to the door and then stopped and turned around. “You can call if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay.”

Cole let out his breath in a whoosh. He must have been holding it in while my mother and I had been talking.

“I told Molly I would let her know when you woke up so I'm going to go get her. I'll be right back.” He kissed me and then left the room.

They were both back in less than two minutes.

“I need to check you to see where we are. It's amazing what an epidural will do. You're fully dilated. I'm going to call Dr. James and see if she wants you to start pushing a little. I'll be back in a few.”

I felt like my face drained of all the blood. “Wow, it went a lot faster than I thought. Will you call my sister and your mom and let them know what's going on? Do you think they'll all come in here?”

“Do you want all of them in here?” he asked.

I thought for a minute. “No. Do you think it would be rude to ask them to wait in the waiting room if they come down here?”

“No. I'll just tell them when I call if they want to come they'll have to sit out there until it's all over, and then they can come in and see you and Victoria.”

He squeezed my hand and made the phone calls. I marveled for the first time in a long time how I deserved someone so wonderful. I ran my hands over my belly and wondered how much longer before I would see her and hold her in my arms.

“What did they say?” I asked, when Cole was off the phone.

“Everyone understood about it being just us. My mom is ready to bolt down here. I wouldn't be surprised to see her soon. She sounded a little anxious.” Cole said with a grin. “How are you? It's almost over now.”

“As much as I know I'm not really ready for what's about to happen, I'm ready to see her. I want to know her.” I said.

“Dr. James said to start pushing, and if things happen a little faster than I think they are going to happen she can be here in five minutes. We're going to get the bed set up and then you are going to learn how to push, and we'll see how you do, okay?” Molly stated.

I nodded my head and listened intently as they explained how to push.

Since I couldn't feel my contractions, Molly watched the monitor and told me when to push. I tried like they told me, and I finally got it.

“Good Morgan, now do another one just like it. Come on, one, two, three…” She counted all the way to ten.

I took a deep breath and pushed again.

“I can see the top of her head Morgan. I think she's bald so I hope you didn't want a baby with hair.” Molly said. “Lori is going to go call Dr. James so she can come over. You're doing so well it isn't going to take long to deliver. Now you're going to push again. Take a deep breath and push.” Molly told me.

I pushed with all my strength, and it
was hard work. I didn't understand until now. It was also the most undignified thing in the world. I didn't know how people gave birth with a bunch of people in the room.

Dr. James breezed into the room. “Okay, Morgan, I need you to really push with this next contraction. The baby's heartbeat is dipping a little lower than I would like it to with each contraction, and we need to deliver her as soon as we can.” She said as she was putting on her gown and booties. “Here comes the next one, now push Morgan. Push… push harder… keep going… stop. The head is out, let me suction her out.”

I let the breath I had been holding to push with out in a whoosh, and I could feel Cole tighten his fingers on my scalp where he was supporting my head.

“Okay Morgan. Give me a little push… good… a little more… and here she is. It's a girl!!”

“Why isn't she crying?” I asked scared.

“She will, ah, there you go.”

I heard her start to cry, and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. My eyes started to tear up, and all I wanted was to hold her. And then she was on my chest and they were rubbing her dry.

“Hi baby. Hi Victoria.” I whispered to her.

She was perfect and staring at me with her newborn eyes. I looked up at Cole, and he was just as entranced as I was. He reached out to touch her hand, and she grabbed his finger.

“Okay, Mom, give her a kiss and let us check her out and wrap her up and then we will bring her back to you. It's okay. She'll be right over here.”

I forced my arms to unlock so the nurse could take her and do what they needed to do. Meanwhile they took care of me, and before I knew it, she was back in my arms.

Victoria Elise Williams was born weighing seven pounds eleven ounces, and I was in awe of what Cole and I had created and the feat my body had performed. I could only see her round little face peeking at me out of the blankets she was wrapped up in. She was beautiful.

“You did a good job, Mom. Now the hard part starts.” Dr. James smiled at me.

Cole leaned down, kissed the top of my head, and then rested his chin on my shoulder. “She's beautiful. You did a great job.”

“We should probably tell everyone she's here.” I said reluctantly.

“They can wait. She's not going anywhere now so there will be lots of time for them to see her. How do you feel? Do you need anything?” he asked, still staring at our daughter.

“No, I'm fine. I just can't believe she's here and I'm her mom.”

“I know.”

We continued to stare at her and touch her little face with our fingertips. She started to blink her little eyes slower and slower and then she was asleep. It didn't matter. We were enthralled by her.

There was a tentative knock on the door. “Is it okay for us to come in?” Cecelia asked quietly.

Cole and I looked up at the same time and smiled. I nodded my head and Cecelia and Mark came over to the bed.

“Is my family out there?” I asked tentatively.

“Not yet. I'm sure they didn't think it would be this soon.” She soothed me. “Oh, look at her. She is beautiful.”

“Would you like to hold her?” I asked.

“I would love to.” Cecelia shoved her purse at Mark and held out her arms.

I passed my sleeping daughter to Cecelia. I followed her every movement. Her eyes filled with tears, and I found mine doing the same.

I hastily wiped them from my face when Cole looked at me with concern. “I'm just a little emotional. It's been a big day.” I gave him a small smile.

He kissed me. “I'm going to give your sister a call and let her know it's all over with if they want to come down tonight and see you and Victoria. Do you want me to tell them anything specific?”

“Just that we're both doing fine.” Thankfully.

“We're going to move her down to her room now. If you would give us a little time to get her settled you can come back and see them.” Molly spoke from behind Cole's parents.

“Yes, well we will give you three a bit and then we'll be back.” Cecelia said handing Victoria back to me. “We'll go get dinner and bring some back for you and Cole. Congratulations! She is beautiful.”

“Thanks.” I said.

“Did you get to talk to anyone at my house?” I asked once I was settled in my room.

“I talked to your sister and made sure she knew you and Victoria were both fine. She was home alone, but was going to call your parents and let them know.”

We were both startled when the phone rang, and Cole leaned over me to answer it. He had a smile on his face when he hung up.

“I have to go give my daughter a bath.” He announced with a grin threatening to split his face in two. “I'll be back in just a little while, and I'll ask when I'm down there when she can come in here with us.”

“Thanks. Make sure you kiss her for me.” I added as he left the room.

I was glad to be alone for a little while. I loved Cole and wanted him here with me, but I couldn't always think when he was near me. He had made his thoughts about my family abundantly clear, and I needed to sort through my own emotions and feelings to find my own opinions without his coloring mine.

Before long I heard Cole open the door and come back into the room. I didn't think his smile could get any bigger, but I had been wrong.

“She's so perfect.” He said in awe. He sat down in the chair next to the bed and leaned forward. “She didn't even cry for her bath, and she's so tiny. I was afraid I was going to hurt her when I was doing everything, but I didn't, and then they showed me how to dress her and wrap her up and she has the cutest little hat on.”

I couldn't suppress my smile. “It sounds like she already has you wrapped around her little fingers.”

“You're going to have to be the tough one. I'm not sure I can do it.” Cole admitted.

Before I could say anything else there was a knock on the door just before it was opened. Instead of a nurse with a bassinet as I was hoping, it was my sister and dad. They both had huge grins on their faces as they entered the room.

I gave them both a smile as they walked over to my bed. Their eyes swept the room looking for Victoria.

“Hey kid, how are you feeling?” Dad asked.

“I'm good. I see Samantha got a hold of you.”

“Yeah, she was pretty insistent we get down here. So where is my granddaughter? Why isn't she here with you?” he demanded.

“She's in the nursery. Wait until you see her. She's beautiful.” I gushed.

“I'm sure she is. She has two good looking parents. How could she not be beautiful?”

“I'll go and see how much longer before she can come down here. I'll be right back.” Cole stood up and left the room.

“So, is Mom going to come down and see us or is she still at work?” I asked hesitantly.

“Your mom is still at work, but I called and made sure she knew the two of you were okay. She might stop in later.” Dad said.

The door opened and Cole was backing his way in with the bassinet and our daughter. He wheeled it over next to me, lifted Victoria out, and placed her in my arms.

She was so little, but she felt so right. All cuddly and warm wrapped in her blanket with her little fists up by her face. She was awake and stared at me. I touched her face with the tip of one finger and smiled.

I looked up at my dad and sister and saw the wonder in their expressions.

“Would you like to hold her?” I asked my dad.

“Of course I do.” He reached out to take her. “Hello, Victoria, I'm your grandpa. Hello baby. Your mama was right, you are beautiful.” He cooed to her.

After a few minutes he got up from the chair he had sat in and my sister sat down and held her. It was obvious they were both very quickly wrapped around her little fingers as well.

She started fussing and my sister handed her back to me. I bounced her a little, but she didn't calm down. Cole took her and rocked her back and forth in his arms and she quieted down then. My father had a small smile on his face as he observed the two of them.

“Well, we need to get going for now. Do you need anything we can bring back to you tomorrow?” my dad asked.

“No, I have everything I need here. Thanks for coming.”

“You couldn't have kept us away.”