Beginnings of the Heart (8 page)

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The morning of December 29
^th
dawned clear and bright. The weak sun making an appearance in the light blue sky did nothing to improve my fragile mental state. Today was the day we were telling our families about the baby.

We had decided to tell Cole's parents first and then mine. Cole thought I would relax a little once I saw his parents' reaction to the baby. I was of the opinion no matter how calm his parents turned out to be, mine would be the polar opposite.

Cole came to get me, and we drove to his house in silence. I was so tense I was sure I would vomit at any moment, and I was starting to get a headache.

Cole came to a stop in front of his house and pulled me as close as was possible in the truck. After a few minutes I had calmed down enough at least I wouldn't throw up.

“I promise you everything is going to be okay.” He whispered.

“How? How is this going to be okay?” I asked. The panic I was feeling started slipping into my voice.

“It's going to be okay because we're together and no one, including our parents, are going to be able to keep us apart. We're going to have a baby, and they will accept it and support us.” He stated emphatically.

I nodded my head. “Then let's get this over with before I throw up from the stress.”

He gave me a little smile, and we slid out of the truck. Cole paused at the front door and looked down at me.

“Ready?”

I nodded my head because I was sure my voice wasn't going to work.

He pushed open the door, and I could hear the murmur of voices in the living room. We took our jackets off, and Cole took my hand and towed me into the room behind him.

His parents were sitting on one of the couches talking and they both looked up as we came in. Their smiles stayed in place even as they took in our more serious expressions.

My eyes came to rest on Cecelia's face. She gave me a sympathetic smile, and I looked away guiltily.

Cole dragged me over to the couch facing the one his parents were sitting on, and we sat down side by side.

“Morgan and I have something we need to tell you.” He said without preamble. “We're going to have a baby around the beginning of August.”

I expected stunned expressions, jaws dropping open, and maybe some yelling. Instead we were facing two very composed and calm people. I kept waiting for the news to sink in and the eruption to begin.

I looked over at Cole, and he looked like he was waiting for something as well. His eyes were flicking between the faces of his parents. Then his eyes narrowed suspiciously and he held my hand a little tighter.

“You're not surprised, are you? How did you know?” Cole asked.

His mom answered. “No, we're not surprised. You gave it away, Cole. You were
too careful around her when the two of you were here decorating. Not letting her climb the ladder, making sure she wasn't tired and she was eating. I had my suspicions and shared them with your father, of course.”

“So,” his father Mark began, “what plans have you made? I know you Cole, and I'm betting you have most of it worked out.”

Cole gave a little smile and shook his head. “I can't believe you already knew.” Cole said, a little mystified. “As for our plans, I'm going to trade the truck for a car. I was hoping to work for you…”

I began to relax as Cole relayed all of his plans to Mark and Cecelia. Neither of them were visibly upset, but they had a sort of forewarning. I began to wonder again how my parents would take the news and then felt the blood leave my face.

“Morgan, are you alright?” Cecelia asked. “You look a little pale.”

I managed a little head nod and then felt Cole's hand rubbing my back. I looked up at their faces, and they were all set in varying degrees of concern.

“I told you everything's going to be okay. You need to try and stay calm. All this stress is going to make you sick, and it's not good for you or the baby.”

“I know. It'll be easier once everyone knows and I don't have to try and tiptoe around it all.”

Cole gave me hug and kissed my forehead. He looked at his parents. Still holding me close, he tried to explain my worries. “Morgan is nervous about telling her parents because of her mother's reaction. I've told you both her mom's feelings and opinions of our relationship.”

They both nodded their heads, and Cole's mom gave me a sympathetic look.

“Well,” Cole continued, “one of the scenarios Morgan has come up with is her being kicked out of the house. I told her they won't, but I also have to admit the possibility exists.”

I saw Cecelia look over at Mark. He gave a little nod, and then she came over to sit next to me. She took one of my hands in both of hers. “Morgan, I know this isn't easy and don't think we weren't upset and disappointed because we were and still are. But we've had a few weeks to become accustomed to the idea, and I'm sure your parents are going to need a little time as well. If things don't go well at all and you are kicked out, you will be more than welcome to come and stay here. We'll have to set some ground rules, but you don't need to be nervous about not having anywhere to go.”

When she finished, I felt some of the tension leave my body and the prick of tears in my eyes. Here were two parents who, although they were upset, could still be compassionate and set aside their feelings of disappointment.

“Thank you, it's nice to know. I… wasn't exactly sure what to… to do if…” I stammered out.

“Well, we, Mark and I, only want what is best for you, Cole, and this baby. Now, I have a question for the both of you. This baby is coming in August and neither of you are dropping out of school, so what are you going to do when school starts in September?”

“Umm…” I looked at Cole and saw his blank expression. “I don't know. We, umm, didn't think about it.”

“Well, I did, and I would like you to think about leaving the baby with me. You can drop the baby here before school and pick it up afterward. We can figure out the transportation issue later, but I think this is a solution and it makes sense. And, I'm free.”

“Umm…” I began.

“Don't answer now. Think about it first. I know how hard it's going to be for you to leave this baby with anyone, and I thought it might be easier for you if it was me.” Cecelia finished.

“Thanks, Mom. I hadn't thought about needing a babysitter for school. We were just trying to get enough plans made to make it through the pregnancy. I am sorry for disappointing you and I know we made a mistake, but we love this baby already.” Cole placed his hand on my knee and I covered his with mine.

“We think we know how hard this is going to be and we know we're only sixteen, but we love each other, and knowing you two are willing to be supportive makes it a little easier.” Cole finished.

His parents smiled at both of us, and then his mom said, “You're right to say you think you know because you really have no idea, but we are going to support you any way we can.”

Cole stood and pulled me up with him. His parents also stood, and we moved toward the foyer.

“We have to go tell Morgan's parents now. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone because I'm not leaving until I'm sure she'll be okay.” Cole said.

Cole got our jackets, and we put them on. His mom surprised me by hugging me and then when she pulled away she reminded me I could stay with them if necessary for as long as I needed.

They stood in the door of the house while we got into the truck and then waved as we drove away.

“Well, one down and one to go, and I think you should let me talk to your parents. I really think it would be better.”

“Okay.”

“Why such a quick answer?” Cole asked.

“I'm being a chicken and I'm okay with it.” I smiled back at him. “I may even hide behind you if I want.”

“You won't, but by all means, if it makes you feel better do it.” Cole laughed.

“You never know what I might do. Maybe today is the day I stand up to my mom and tell her how she makes me feel when she hands down her dictates.” I said this more to myself than to Cole to try and bolster my waning confidence. “But then again, maybe I'll just become mute.”

We pulled up outside of my house, and I was assaulted with an overabundance of nerves. Cole hugged me close again and then helped me out of the truck. We walked up the path to the porch and went into the house. We took our jackets off and hung them up in the foyer. Cole took my hand in his and gave it a little squeeze. He then once again towed me behind him to tell my parents this time.

I could hear the TV and knew where to find my dad. We walked into the living room and to my surprise and horror my parents were both sitting on the couch watching a movie. They both looked up as we entered, and their eyes became riveted to our faces. I gripped Cole's hand tightly with both of mine. I was sure if I looked down I would be able to see my knuckles were white. My breathing started to accelerate, and I started to get a little lightheaded.

Cole pried his hand out of mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I gripped my hands together in front of me as we stood in front of my parents. It felt like we were in a courtroom waiting for the judge to sentence us, and the wait was becoming unbearable. It had been less than a minute, but I knew I wouldn't be able to stand there for much longer. As it was I wanted to turn and run as fast and as far as I possibly could, but Cole's arm held me in place as well as supported me.

“Morgan and I need to tell you something and as hard as I know this request is going to be, please wait to hear us out before you react. We are going to have a baby around the beginning of August, and we were really hoping you could be supportive of us during this time. We already have several plans, including trading my truck for a car and me working for my dad on a regular basis, and there are others, but they haven't been finalized yet. We are keeping the baby and are going to raise it. We were hoping you would be understanding of these decisions.” Cole stopped there and waited for the news to sink in.

My dad's jaw had dropped open and he looked very pale, like he had seen a ghost. My mom's jaw was also hanging open, but she looked like she was recovering faster than my dad. As I watched her she snapped her mouth shut and her face started to turn red. I instinctively tried to step back from the fury I could feel rolling off of her in waves, but Cole held me steady.

She slowly stood up from the couch and squared her shoulders. “How could you do this?” she began quietly. “Do you realize how stupid this makes you? Everything is going to change now and not for the better. The two of you have no idea what you are in for, and if you think for one minute I'm going to meekly sit by and let you throw your life away, you have another thing coming.” Her voice had escalated to a full blown roar by the end of her opening statement.

“Mrs. Taylor, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't yell. I won't have Morgan upset.” Cole quietly stated.

If my mother's eyes could shoot daggers, I was sure I would have been looking at Cole's bloody corpse. Then she turned those eyes on me, and I felt the full force of her fury.

“And you, how could you do this to us? Do you have any idea what people are going to think and say? Did you even think about how the rest of us were going to be treated after you had made your little decision? You didn't think about anyone but you, and you are never going to be a good mother. Mothers have to be selfless not selfish, and you are being very selfish right now!” She was once again yelling but had also started moving toward me during the onslaught.

Cole moved me behind him and faced my mother. “Mrs. Taylor, I realize you are upset right now…”

“You better believe I am.” My mother interrupted.

“…but there is no reason to talk like this to Morgan.” Cole continued. “Neither of us has any idea what kind of a parent we are going to be, but it is unfair to say she isn't going to be a good mom.”

During this time my dad had recovered enough to stand up, and he came forward now and took hold of my mother's arm. She started to shake him off but then turned to him and glared.

“I think we all need to take a step back before anything else is said we will regret later.” My dad said quietly.

He steered my mom back to the couch and pulled her down beside him. The fury was still clear to read in my mother's eyes, but she did stay next to my father. He appeared to have digested the information Cole had given and was ready to respond in some way. I just hoped it wasn't going to be the same as my mother.

“So, you're going to have a baby and you have made some plans. On the surface they sound reasonable, but do you realize they will only get you so far? What are the two of you going to do about school?” he asked us.

I still couldn't find my voice so Cole answered him.

“My mom has offered to watch the baby while we are in school. I know all of this is very sudden and you are disappointed, but we have thought about this. We know it isn't going to be easy, but we are prepared to do this on our own if we have to.” Cole said.

“You won't need to do this on your own.” My dad said. “I'm sure after we've had a chance to calm down and think this through everything will work out.”

“Did I hear you correctly? Your mother has offered to watch the… baby for you? When did you have the courtesy to tell them? And how long have you known about all of this?” My mother's voice appeared calm on the surface, but her face was still stormy.

“We found out about the baby a few weeks before Christmas, and we told my parents this morning. They had already suspected something so were a little better prepared for the news and, yes, my mom did offer to watch our baby for us.” Cole answered.

This seemed to only add fuel to my mother's present state of mind. I hadn't realized she could get more furious, but apparently I had underestimated her.

“Well, let me tell the two of you something. This little thing between the two of you is over. You,” she said, stabbing her finger at Cole, “are not allowed to enter this house again, and Morgan will not have anything further to do with you or your family from now on. We are going to tell no one until we have to and by then maybe Morgan will have come to her senses enough to consider some alternatives to her throwing her life away. She isn't going to be tied down by a baby because we all know you are going to cut ties as quickly as possible.”

I had become increasingly angry as my mother had spoken. I may have been frightened by her initial reaction, but not anymore. Now I was moving very quickly to being furious.

“No.” I said it so quietly I wasn't sure anyone had heard me, but my mother's eyes snapped to me.

“What did you say?” she snarled at me.

“I said no. This is our baby, and we are going to raise it.” I said, with more confidence and volume.

“You are only sixteen and will do what we tell you to do. Now, I think it's time for Cole to go, and you will go to your room until we tell you to come out.”

“No.” I stepped closer to Cole and grabbed his hand in both of mine. “If he's leaving, then so am I. You can't keep us apart. This baby is his, and he has every right to be in its life and mine. I'm sorry if you can't agree with or support our decisions, but they are ours to make, not yours. This is our baby, and we will make any and all decisions concerning it and our relationship.”

I had never felt so confident. By the look on my mother's face and those on my dad's and Cole's, I had surprised more than myself. Where my mother's was furious, Cole's and my dad's were proud.

Cole gave me a little nod and smiled at me. After returning his smile I turned back to my parents.

“Well, we know how you feel and now you know how we feel. I understand this is all very surprising and you need some time to come to terms with the fact we are going to have a baby. We'll give you some space to discuss how you would like to handle all of this.” I said.

“I'm taking Morgan to my house. We'll be happy to come back here and calmly discuss everything when you're ready to talk.” Cole told my parents.

We both turned to the foyer, grabbed our jackets and without bothering to put them on, left the house and got into his truck. He slid his arm around my shoulders and pulled me up against his side as he began the drive to his house.

I stared numbly out the window and tried to hold back the onslaught of tears threatening to fall at the least provocation. Cole pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I promptly burst into tears. He seemed to know there was nothing he could say to make me stop or feel any better right now. Just letting me cry and rubbing his hand up and down my arm.

We pulled up at his house, and I tried desperately to pull myself together enough to get past his parents. He just held onto me until I pulled away. I dried my face as best I could, but knew there was nothing I could do about the rest of my appearance.

Cole got out of the truck, and I slid out behind him and we walked up to the house together. His mom was hovering at the door when we got inside and after she got a good look at my face came over and gave me a hug, which started the tears flowing again.

“I'm going to take her up to my room and get her to calm down a little. I'll come down and fill you in on what happened in a while.” Cole told his Mom.

“Okay.” Cecelia said.

Cole walked me to his room and urged me to lie down on his bed. He then lay down beside me and held me until my tears were spent.

“I'm going to go downstairs and tell my parents what happened. I think you should try and take a nap. You've had a rough day, and I don't want you to get sick. So, try, okay?” He kissed me and then left, closing the door softly behind him.

After he left I lay there thinking about what I could have said differently and what else I could have done. I finally came to the conclusion for some reason my mom was just refusing to admit Cole and I could make this work. I just wasn't sure how to make her see we could.

I woke some time later to Cole gently rubbing my back. I looked up at him and smiled, wishing I could wake up like this every day. Then I forced myself back to reality and the problems facing us.

“What time is it? Did I sleep for a long time?” I asked him.

“It's three o'clock. You slept for about two and half hours. I filled my parents in and they said you could stay here until we hear from yours, but I think they'll call sometime soon. I'm pretty sure your dad doesn't share your mother's opinions about all of this.”

“How do you know? Is this more of your overly perceptive feelings or did I miss something?” I tried to remember everything, but all I could remember was the look of fury on my mother's face.

“Morgan, I know you're still worried about all of this, but I want you to try and not think about it for a while. It will make you feel better to concentrate on something else. Like dinner. My mom's cooking and we're staying here to eat even if your parents call. So, get up and come downstairs and we'll do something until dinner is ready.” Cole said.

“Okay. I'll try, but it isn't going to be easy. You have your work cut out for you.” I smiled at him and let him lead me out of his room and down the stairs.

Cole, Mark, and Cecelia did take my mind off of the argument with my parents. And whether it was by unspoken agreement or not, no one mentioned the baby or anything related to my pregnancy the rest of the afternoon.

After dinner, the phone rang, and it was my dad. Cole answered and when he hung up came to sit next to me.

“They're ready to talk, and as long as everyone is calm, we'll go listen. But, if there's anything we don't agree with, we're leaving and coming back here. Okay?”

I nodded my head and turned to his parents, who were apparently concerned. “Thank you for everything. I know this is hard for you too, but it's nice to know you support us.”

“Are you sure you're going to be okay? I don't want you stressing out anymore. It isn't good for you.” Cole asked.

“I'm stronger than you think.”

“Okay, I'll be back later. I hope this goes better than before.” He said to his parents.

“Remember what we talked about, Cole.” Mark said. “Anything you two need.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

Once we were on our way, Cole looked at me. “You know, I wish we didn't have to go through all of this. I'm sorry it's putting you in the position of fighting with your parents, and I know you don't like it. All I can say is I'm not leaving you to do this alone. Any of it. When I called you and the baby my family, I meant it. No one is going to keep us apart.” He said.

I looked up at his face and it was set in a look of commitment and determination. “Knowing you love me and no matter what happens you will always be beside me is more comfort than you realize. I'm not sure either of our parents realizes how bound to one another we are. Even before the baby I knew you were going to be my future.”

He pulled to a stop in front of the house and turned so he could look me full in the face. He placed both of his hands reverently on either side of my face and gently kissed me. “You have no idea how happy you make me, especially when you tell me how you feel about us. Our future was always meant to go where we are headed. We're going down the road a little faster than we expected to. Now, when we go in to talk to your parents, I want you to remember you don't have to agree to anything you don't want to, and if they won't bend, we're out of there and back to my house. Okay?”