Beginnings of the Heart (4 page)

Cole helped me out of the truck and into the house. He took his jacket off and threw it over the back of a chair and then took mine and did the same. I walked over to the couch and sat down, pulling my legs up until I could rest my chin on my knees. He came and sat next to me.

“How are you feeling? Do you want me to get you anything?” Cole asked.

His eyes held an intensity I wasn't used to seeing, and I knew my silence was to blame. I opened my mouth to tell him, but nothing came out.

“You're really starting to freak me out. Are you sure you want me to be here? I get the feeling you don't.”

I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I inhaled deeply of his scent and tried to calm my thoughts.

He slid me onto his lap and held me. I felt him relax a little and knew he was trying to be patient.

“I do need to talk to you, but it isn't what you think. When I got up this morning I had to run to the bathroom to throw up and then I remembered I was late.” It all came out in such a rush I wasn't sure if he understood what I was saying.

“You thought you were late for school and it made you throw up?” Cole asked.

“No.” I was so nervous I thought I might throw up again. “When I threw up, it reminded me I'm
late
. My period is late.”

I felt his whole body freeze up. The arms he had wrapped around me locked in a grip that was almost painful and restricted my breathing somewhat.

I picked my head up to look at him, and his face was frozen in shock. I nudged him a little to get him to lighten up on his grip. He took the hint, but only a bit. He didn't let go of me.

“Cole, are you okay? Should I get you something?” I was starting to get concerned. He looked a little pale to me.

“No, just give me a minute. I… I just need a minute.” He stammered.

I put my head back on his shoulder to wait for him to regain some sort of equilibrium.

“I know this isn't something either of us wanted right now, so I'll understand if you don't want to hang around for it. I know you have a lot of plans and— “

My speech was cut off wh
en he squeezed me really tight
.

“Do you honestly think I would leave you or our child just because I had other plans?” He sounded furious as he spoke through his clenched teeth. And the look he leveled on me would have taken the breath out of me if his arms hadn't already.

I tried to answer him, but I couldn't take a deep enough breath. He noticed me struggling a little and relaxed his arms enough so I could inhale.

I filled my lungs and chanced a look at his face. He still looked shocked, but a much stronger emotion was warring with it and winning. His anger could be seen in his clenched jaw and rigid features.

“I don't want you to go anywhere.” I spoke quickly, “but I didn't want you to think you had to give up on everything you ever wanted. As hard as it was to say, I felt like I needed to say it because I don't want you here unless you
want to be here.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and then said, “I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves. Have you taken a test or anything? How late are you?”

“No, I haven't taken a test. I just realized this morning. I'm about four weeks late.” I said.

“And you're just figuring it out now! Sorry. I'm just still in a little bit of shock here.”

“Tell me about it. When I first noticed I was late I didn't really think much about it because I'm not really an on-time kind of person anyway, and then I forgot about it until I was hanging over the toilet this morning and then I remembered and I didn't know what to do and all I could do was get ready and go to school…“

“Morgan you're rambling. It's okay, I can understand the shock value involved here.” He paused and took a deep breath. “So, the first thing we are going to do is get a pregnancy test.”

“What do you mean? Like right now? Where are we going to go?” I asked

“We'll run into Riverside. Besides everyone we know is either in school or working. Come on, we can talk more on the way.” Cole said.

There hadn't been any teenage pregnancies in town I could ever remember. There were a few weddings right after graduation, but no one ever voiced their suspicions about these quick nuptials. I wondered if it was because the couples involved got married before there was a baby.

I sat as close as I could to Cole in the truck, and he put his arm around me. I felt him kiss the top of my head, and then he squeezed my shoulders.

“I need to know what your immediate plans are if we find out you're pregnant.”

I looked at him confused. “I don't know what you mean.”

His voice was strained as he said, “I need to know if you're considering an abortion.”

My stomach knotted in reaction to his words. I shook my head. “No. I can't.”

“Thank goodness.” Cole said, the relief evident in his voice. “I wasn't sure how to talk you out of it if you had decided. So, we're keeping it. We're going to be… parents.” Cole said hollowly.

“This hasn't really been confirmed yet.” I said.

He gave me a wry expression, saying, “Yeah, right.”

“I will admit the possibility is huge at the moment. I'm just trying to not get too far ahead of all this. Let's just wait and see what the test says.”

I looked up at him and tried to read his face. There was such a play of emotions I gave up after a few minutes of trying to figure out what was going through his mind. I spent the rest of the drive trying to think of what this meant and how we were going to cope.

We pulled into the parking lot of a pharmacy in Riverside. Neither of us seemed to want to get out, so we sat there for a few minutes before going in to buy the test.

After choosing one at random, we paid for it and got back to my house as quickly as possible.

I could hear Cole pacing outside of the bathroom door while I was trying to pee on the stick.

“This would be a lot easier if you would chill out just a little bit. My bladder's being shy with you pacing around out there.” I said from inside the bathroom.

“Sorry.”

I opened the door a few minutes later to see Cole sitting on the edge of my bed, tight-lipped and looking as nervous as I felt.

“Well, how long do we have to wait?” Cole asked.

“Just a few minutes.” I answered while staring at my hands.

“I want you to know I'm not going anywhere, so you can stop worrying I'm going to run out on you. Okay?” Cole asked.

“I'm just nervous. I mean, what are we going to do? I'm not ready to have a baby and be a mom. I'm only sixteen!”

“I know.” Cole said. “We don't have a clue. Is it time to look at it?”

“Yeah I guess so.” I said not wanting to move.

“Are you going to go check?” Cole asked.

“You do it. I'm too scared.”

“Alright.”

Cole got up and walked into the bathroom.

“Well?” I asked impatiently.

“Umm, I'm not really sure what it means. Where are the directions?” Cole asked.

“Are you kidding me?” I said getting up and going into the bathroom. “How many lines are there?” I asked.

I looked at the test Cole was holding and felt the blood drain from my face. My hands started to shake, and Cole pulled me into his arms.

“I guess I have my answer.” Cole said.

I promptly burst into tears. All of the pent-up emotions from the day were being released as tears cascaded down my face. “What're we gonna do?” I sniffed.

“I don't know.” Cole whispered into my hair.

We stood in the bathroom holding each other for a long time. When Cole's phone started to ring we resurfaced enough to realize what time it was.

“Hello.” Cole answered his phone.

I silently listened to him tell whoever it was I was feeling better. After a few more ‘uh-huhs' and ‘yeahs' he hung up.

“Your mom?” I asked, guessing.

“Yeah. She was wondering how you were since I hadn't called her. I don't know how I'm going to tell my parents about all of this.” Cole said, subdued.

“Not this weekend, please. I think we should wait until after Christmas.” I rushed on when he opened his mouth to protest. “It's only two weeks away, and I really think they should have one happy holiday before we destroy all of their plans for our futures.”

“You mean your parents' plans for your future. My parents don't plan my future. Don't get me wrong, they're going to be plenty disappointed, but they'll also get over it when they see we have a plan. But I'm with you on waiting. Can you stay calm until after Christmas? You can't make yourself sick over this. You have to think about the baby now, too.”

“Yes, I can stay calm. But I don't have a plan, so if you have one I'm all ears. I need something to focus on other than the fact I'm sixteen, pregnant, and pretty sure my mom is going to freak out when I tell her.” I said.

“First, you won't be telling them alone. If you think I won't be with you when you tell your parents, you're crazy. I've only made it to I need to get a job and quick.” Cole told me.

“Will your dad let you work for him?” I asked.

“I hope so. Especially after we tell them we're going to have a baby. He'll be the first one to tell me I need to be responsible and take care of you and the baby.” Cole said.

I heard the front door open and I jumped up, afraid it was my mom. Cole pulled me back down to sit next to him on the bed. My heart threatened to escape my chest it pounded so hard as I listened to the footsteps getting closer to my room.

When my sister's face appeared in the doorway, I blew out the breath I didn't know I had been holding.

“Are you feeling better? Bree said you threw up in the bathroom at school.” she asked.

“Yeah, I'm feeling better. Cole brought me home from school.”

“Okay, I'm going to my room to start my homework. By the way, everyone knows you came home from school early.” she said over her shoulder as she walked to her room.

“Thanks.” I said. “They called Mom from school to let me out. You probably shouldn't be here when she gets home.” I said, looking at him apologetically.

“Okay.” Cole said. “But don't let your mom get to you. Just avoid her for a while.”

Smiling, I answered, “I'll just hide in my room.”

Cole stood up to go, and I trailed after him to the door. He turned at the door and said, “I'll call you later and see how you're doing. Remember, try to stay calm.”

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. We stayed with our lips moving over each other's until we both needed to breathe. Our lips broke apart, but we continued to hold onto each other, my fingers tangled in his hair.

“I love you.” He said.

“I love you more.” I said as he stepped out onto the porch.

I stood in the open door and waved as he pulled away from the curb and started on his way home.

I watched until he was out of sight and then went back inside, grabbed my bag, and went to my room. Maybe if I started out in there my mom would leave me alone.

After I was settled on my bed with my back against the headboard I got started on my homework. I had enough sense while I was at school to write it down.

Samantha came into my room through the connecting bathroom and sat down on the end of my bed.

“Bree gave me the rest of your homework assignments.” She said handing me a piece of paper.

“Thanks. I was going to have to call her to get them.” I smiled at my sister.

We were very much alike in looks. We had the same eyes and hair color except Samantha's had a natural wave and her skin seemed to have a natural glow mine lacked. She was a natural beauty and a really good friend, besides being my sister.

“So, when are you two going to tell mom and dad you're pregnant?” Samantha asked.

My jaw dropped open, and I couldn't breathe. I sat there and stared at my sister in disbelief. How did she know?

“Don't get all worked up. And before you ask, no, I don't think Mom's figured it out.” Samantha said.

“How do you know? I mean,
I didn't even know until today.” I said still staring at her.

“I started to wonder a few weeks ago. I'm the one who empties the garbage from our bathroom, remember? Then I heard you throwing up this morning, and I put it all together. So, when are you going to tell them?”

“Umm, we're going to wait until after Christmas.” I said, still in a little bit of shock. “Mom is going to kill me.”

“No she won't. She might want to, but she won't. For one, Cole won't let her and neither will Dad.” She said.