Back to You (12 page)

Thank fucking god.

“Alex?” Tyler asked, seemingly confused at what I was doing sitting on his steps at, I stopped to check the time again, a little after eleven o’clock.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I answered.
Way to be eloquent, dumbass.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. I quickly scanned the car and the darkness behind him but he seemed to be alone. Thank goodness for small miracles.

“I needed to see you,” I told him honestly.

He walked slowly toward me, almost cautiously. “How long have you been here?”

“Since five-thirty.”

He was standing right in front of me by that point and I could see his eyes widen in disbelief. “You’ve been sitting here for six hours?”

“Almost. It was the only way I could think of to make sure I could see you again.” I stood up and brushed the dust particles off my shorts. “I couldn’t wait until tomorrow night, so I was just hoping you’d come home tonight at some point.”

“What if I hadn’t come home?” he asked as he took out his key to unlock the door.

“Those steps aren’t very comfortable and I’m sure it gets chilly at night, but I wasn’t leaving until I saw you, Tyler.” I was being very honest with him. I wouldn’t have left.

“That’s pretty stupid.”

Okay, that was so not the reply I was looking for. Dedicated, persistent, determined, or even stubborn would have all been more appropriate answers, but stupid? Just no.

“Why is it stupid, Tyler?” I was hurt.

He spun around angrily to face me with the key halfway turned. “Because you have no right to be here! This is
my
home!” he yelled at me. “You
left
me, Alex! You left me here alone with no answers and no way of knowing where you were going. Every single day I would wake up hoping that it was all a bad dream and every single day my heart broke again when I realized you weren’t here. I loved you and you left me!”

He had tears streaming down his face and his fists were clenched by his sides. He was angry and finally getting his chance to let me have it, so I let him keep going.

He took a step closer to me as his tirade continued. “I’ve spent the last two years wondering what was wrong with me, wanting to know why you didn’t love me as much as I loved you, not knowing if I was ever going to see you again and wondering what I would do if I ever did.”

Another step closer, and I didn’t know if he was going to hit me or not, so I took a step back and then I was up against the side of the house. “But seeing you here, no matter how fucking mad I am, all I want to do is this.” He grabbed me by the shirt almost violently and pulled me to him, smashing his lips to mine and thrusting his tongue inside my mouth. Oh, my god, Tyler was kissing me and my heart about leapt out of my chest as I stood there stunned and paralyzed.

My mind caught up very quickly though and I spun him around, pushing him up against the house and pressing my entire body against his so that he could feel exactly how much I wanted him. My lips never left his in the process and not knowing if I’d ever have the chance again, I took the time to re-memorize the feel of his lips on mine, searched out every hidden crevice in his hot little mouth with my tongue, and thrust myself against him. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling his head back to the perfect angle and I kissed my way down his throat. His strangled moans were so fucking hot and I just wanted to bury myself in him right there on the porch.

“Oh fuck, Ty, I missed you,” I whispered into the crook of his neck as I stood there and held him tight. The overwhelming sense of peace and rightness that came over me in that moment almost knocked me on my ass.

I was whole again with him in my arms.

Tyler

Wow.
I’d forgotten how fast Alex’s kisses could take my breath away as I stood there with his arms tightly wound around me trying to wrap my mind around what was happening. One minute I was yelling at him, unleashing all my frustration, and the next minute all I could think about was getting him inside of me as quickly as possible.

“Inside. Now,” I ordered, still trying to catch my breath. I pushed him away from me and fumbled with the keys in my hand. He had me completely flustered, and as much as I wanted answers, I wanted his skin on mine more. I wanted to touch and taste and take the time to refresh all the memories I had of him.

I felt a warmth inside my soul that I hadn’t felt in a very long time and I needed those few minutes of peace. Once I finally got the key in the lock, I pushed the door open and pulled Alex inside with me.

He spun me around and pushed me up against the door after it slammed shut, and his lips were back on mine instantaneously. I was so incredibly, painfully hard and I knew he was too. I could feel it through both pairs of jeans. I wanted them off, though. I needed to taste him again.

“Couch, now.” I ripped his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor then proceeded to whip mine off and left it next to his. We left a trail of discarded clothing as we stumbled our way to the couch in the darkness. It wasn’t smooth or perfect but it was fucking hot and we never stopped touching each other. I pushed him down onto the cushions and immediately found his nipple, biting down on it hard, which caused him to howl in pain but I didn’t stop. I ran my tongue over it to soothe the bite before moving to the other and showing it equal attention.

“Oh, fuck, Tyler…” he panted. “God, I want you so bad.” It was good to know the chemistry between us was still there.

He flipped us over with almost no effort and was between my legs before I knew what hit me. “You can’t imagine how many times I’ve dreamed of doing this again,” he whispered before he engulfed me completely. I nearly lost it as his tongue rolled around my shaft while I hit the back of his throat. Alex always was an all or nothing kind of guy, so if he was blowing me, he was going do it right.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” I chanted while he bobbed up and down, opening his throat a little more every time he came down and letting me feel the vibrations of his moans around my cock. His mouth was so fucking warm and wet, I never wanted it to stop.

He pulled off completely but kept stroking me with his hands. Oh god, his hands were magic. The way he twisted his wrist around my head while his other hand stroked the base was pure fucking bliss. He lapped at my balls with his tongue, rolling them around in his mouth, and I’m pretty sure my eyes rolled back into my head more than once.

“Don’t stop, Alex. Don’t fucking stop.” I was so close and I wanted nothing more than to make it last as long as possible. “I don’t want this to be over.”

“I won’t stop, baby,” he promised as he dragged his tongue up the underside of my cock along my vein and sucked me all the way back into his mouth. As I hit the back of his throat again, he raked his fingernails down my chest adding just a hint of pain to the mix and I lost it.

I screamed his name along with a stream of words that would make a sailor blush as my orgasm shattered through me like a bolt of lightning. I could feel every single nerve in my body tingle as I filled his mouth with shot after shot until I had nothing left to give.

Alex lapped at my softening cock, cleaning up every drop left on my shaft and then placed a sweet, soft kiss at the tip. That little gesture took me by surprise as it was something he used to do to show me how much he loved me, and it rocked me to my core.

“That was amazing,” I informed him with a lazy smile. His strained smile back at me was all I needed to know that he hadn’t finished and that he was very uncomfortable. The thought crossed my mind to let him suffer for all the times I’d suffered because of him, but the amazing orgasm he’d given me persuaded me to be kind. Plus, I really wanted to taste him again.

“C’mere,” I instructed and opened my mouth, showing him exactly where I wanted him. He didn’t need any convincing and I groaned deeply at the familiar taste of his dick on my tongue. He thrust into my mouth over and over, taking what he needed and I did my best to make it as good for him as I could.

“Yes, Tyler, oh my god, yes…” he panted as his hips sped up. I knew it wouldn’t take long by the sounds coming out of his mouth and I was quickly rewarded with his salty-sweet flavor bursting on my taste buds as his hips stilled and he exploded. “Fuck!” he grunted and then collapsed on the couch next to me.

It was silent for several minutes except for both of us trying to catch our breath. I don’t think either one of us wanted to break the silence, because that meant that we had to talk, and it was going to take a lot out of us both to have the conversation that we needed to have.

“Tyler?” he whispered after another moment of awkward silence.

“Yeah?”

“Come here?” he asked uncertainly as he held his arms up in an open invitation. No matter how bad of an idea it was, I needed the peace that being in his arms brought, so I climbed into them. He grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around us.

“I missed you,” he whispered and placed a sweet kiss on my forehead.

“I missed you, too,” I admitted against my better judgment. I lay my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Wrapped up in the warmth and peace of being with Alex for the night, I let the steady beat of his heart lull me to sleep.

The next morning I woke up with a crick in my neck, my arm was asleep under the weight of Alex’s back, and there was a very prominent bulge digging into my stomach, but I hadn’t felt so comfortable in as long as I could remember. That day was the day of Grammy Bea’s viewing and my heart hurt just thinking about it, but knowing that Alex had come back for me somehow made it easier to bear.

I knew we needed to have a discussion, but my heart wanted to put it off as long as possible, so despite the minor physical discomforts I was feeling, I just lay still on his chest and let the sense of rightness that I had been missing since he’d left wrap itself around us. I can’t even tell you how long I stayed still, not wanting to wake him for fear that he might leave, but it wasn’t long enough.

Pretty soon his breathing began to indicate that he was waking up and he opened his eyes and sighed. “Oh, I’m having that dream again,” he whispered and closed his eyes again as if he didn’t want it to end.

I kissed him on his pec and licked his nipple and he moaned. “Does that happen in your dreams too?” I asked him with a wicked grin on my face.

“Only if it’s a really good one,” he answered back. His eyes were open when I glanced back up and there was a look of such intense reverence radiating off his face as he stared at me in awe. “I can’t believe I’m really here.”

“I know, it’s amazing and exciting and I’m so terrified it’s not even funny.” I placed my hand on his heart and it was racing.

“Why are you terrified?” he wondered, sitting up slightly to put us at an angle.

“Because I know we need to talk and it’s not going to be a fun one, but mostly because I can’t keep myself from thinking about when you’re going to leave me again.” I buried my face in his chest because I could feel the emotion welling up and I didn’t want to cry. I knew I’d be doing enough of that in the next twenty-four hours or so with Grammy’s funeral looming over me.

Alex slipped his index finger under my chin and gently tipped my head up so he was staring intently into my eyes. “Tyler, I made the biggest mistake of my life once by leaving you, and I’m not going to make that mistake again, ever, unless you make it absolutely clear to me that you don’t want me anymore. I know we have a million things to work out, and there’re so many people who aren’t going to want me back in your life, but I’m here to stay if you’ll have me.”

His words soothed a lot of wounds that had been left on my heart because I could tell they were coming from a place of truth and honesty, but I couldn’t let myself really believe him. I’d always believed he’d never leave me the first time and he did and it’d broken me. If I trusted him again and he let me down, I was almost certain it would be something that would shatter me so completely I’d never recover, so all I could do was give him an uncertain smile and nod.

“I know I have a lot of making up to do with you, Ty, but I’ll do everything I can to prove to you how much I love you and how much you truly mean to me.” He kissed me on the forehead which had always made me feel so loved and then his cell phone rang. He picked it up and groaned.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“It’s Donny,” he told me and then answered it. “Hey, Donny.”

I pushed myself off of his chest and walked into the kitchen to get some juice. I didn’t want to hear the rest of that conversation. As it was, just hearing his name made me feel as if I’d had a bucket of ice water dumped on my head and I didn’t like that cold feeling at all.

It was only a few minutes before Alex joined me in the kitchen. He’d slipped back into his jeans from the night before but still wasn’t wearing his shirt. God, he was beautiful but I couldn’t let that affect me. He walked up behind me like he was going to hug me, and I just couldn’t shake that feeling, so I dodged his contact and sat down on a bar stool.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking extremely confused.

I put on the best detached expression I could muster and told him coolly, “Last night was great and all, but I’ve got a lot of stuff to do today, so I think it’s probably best if you leave.”