Take a Breath (Take 1)

Take a Breath (Take 1).

By

Jaimie Roberts.

Chapter 1

She’s
staring at him again.  Why does she keep looking at him like that,
I can’t stand it?  I look away horrified at my thoughts.  I
wish they would all just go away.  I crave this man, this man who
has been the only man I have yearned for, that I have adored from the
very first day I met him, who tries hard to avoid me at times.  He
has been the centre of my world for far too long and I can’t shake him
no matter how hard I try, and it tears me apart at times.  I know
I can’t have him and I wish I could give up this obsession as there is
this one problem, well one major problem.  He’s getting married to
my mother. 

The
sick part about it is that she doesn’t deserve him at all.  She
uses people.  She meets men, gets them to fall in love with her,
she gets what she’s wants from them and then leaves.  It is always
the same pattern and has been this way since as long as I can
remember.  From a child I have been pushed and pulled around to
different areas, different schools and never settled down
anywhere.  I was ‘The accident,’ and I think my mum has been
making me pay for it ever since.  I hope she settles down this
time, although it kills me to think that way, but I want him to be
happy, even if it is with my own mother.

I
stare out of the window from the breakfast island trying not to look as
sick as I feel.  It is a beautiful day outside and the garden and
pool are glistening in the sun.  The house we live in is picture
perfect for a family and has a statuesque element to it.  It has
five bedrooms all en-suite a gym and the basement downstairs also being
used as a bedroom.  Jake’s bedroom is the first you come to on the
landing so I have to pass his room every time I go to mine which is
always torturous.  Jake owns the property; it was given to him as
a family home when his parents died in a tragic accident 3 years
ago.  He comes from a wealthy family and now he has inherited his
wealth there really is no need for him to work, but he loves his job
and I think he sees it as a purpose in life.  He has worked hard
on the house in the last three years trying to make it a little more
modern.  As you come through the front door you have the staircase
leading up, to the left is the living room that leads into the kitchen
and to the right is the dining room that also leads into the
kitchen.  I love the dining room as it has a bar area at the end
by the kitchen door.  The kitchen is huge and my favourite part of
it is where I’m sitting now.  My mother and I moved in about Eight
months ago and I love it here.

I eat the rest of my toast and get up to gather my things.  

   “Are you ready Ana?”  

 
  Oh just him calling my name gives me goose bumps.   “Yes
Jake, I’m good to go.”  He kisses my mum on the cheek
and she smiles her sweet sickly smile and says goodbye.  

 
 “Should be home around nine tonight if that’s ok Stella?”
 

    That’s late; I thought he was finished at 6pm today.  
The thought quickly exits my head as work is calling us and we have to
get from McLean to Fairfax in twenty minutes.  

   “That’s fine Jake; I have things to do later anyway.  Bye Ana darling, hope you have a good day.”  

 
 “Bye mum, see you later.”  We get in the car, trying my best
not to stare at Jake and I start thinking about how I got here.

Jake
is a Captain for Fairfax County Police in charge of Major
Investigations.  He got me a job there about the same time we
moved in.  I had completed my Bachelor’s degree in Criminal
Justice and Jake was looking for a new employee, so all of this was
perfect timing for me.  I am an Analyst there and love my
job.  Determined never to follow in my mother’s footsteps I set
out to better myself and I pushed and pushed as much as I could to get
a decent job and to settle down.  I am only 22, but I want so much
to have a normal life after so much running.  Jake is mum’s toy
boy as he is only 33 and she is 40.  They both had children young
as Jake has a son called Matthew who is only 16 and as Jake was the
responsible one and the mother at the time couldn’t cope, he took
Matthew under his wing and has been looking after him since he was born
with the help of his rich parents of course.  All this only makes
me want Jake all the more.  I really must stop this, it’s not
healthy. 

   “How are you feeling today?”  

    Jake pulls me out of my daydream, “I’m fine thank you, I had a good sleep, you?”  

 
 “Yes, thanks but looking forward to some time off I must
admit.  Work has been a little hectic lately.  Are you going
out tonight?”  

 
  His question raises some intrigue.  Why is he concerned
about what I’m doing?  “Well Jessie did mention drinks after
work.  You know what she’s like, all work and even more
play.”  He laughs a hearty laugh, god I love this man.  

 
 “Yes, she does like her drink doesn’t she?  I may join you
if you don’t mind, are there a few of you going?”  

 
  What, did I just hear him correctly; he wants to go for
drinks?  I look at him in awe.  He has the most beautiful
physique.  He is 6’3” and is very fit.  He likes to work out
in the gym so is nicely compact.  He has dark brown hair, almost
black slicked back and spiked at the front with the most piercing green
eyes I’ve ever seen.  Why does he have to be so damn
godlike?  “Yes, that’s fine,” I answer.  “I think a few are
going.”  

 
 “I thought so, that’s why I want to come.  I think Tony has
his eye on you and I want to make sure he behaves himself after a few
beers.”  

    I think my jaw just dropped to the floor, he spies me and obviously notices my reaction.  

   “Sorry, just doing my protective fatherly thing.”  

 
  Oh, great, can the floor of the car swallow me up right
now?  Father, he’s only eleven years older than me.  I want
to die.

We
get to work and I quickly rush into the office and spy Jessie sitting
at her desk with a big devilish grin on her face.  I notice a nice
cup of steaming hot coffee on my desk.  Jessie, I love you. 
“Ah, thanks Jessie.  So what did you do last night?” I ask
her.  “Or shall I say who did you do?”  

 
 “Shh,” she smirks, “You’ll give me a bad name talking like that
Ana.  I’m not that bad.”  She sits silently for a moment
whilst I get myself organised for the day ahead. “Well, he’s a Lawyer
and certainly knows his way around a courtroom if you know what I
mean.”  

I
gasp, “I knew it!  You brazen hussy you.  Are you seeing him
again?”  I’m now grinning from ear to ear for her.  I like to
see my friend happy.  

   “Yes, tomorrow night.  He’s taking me to dinner,” She beams. 

 
 “Wow, Jessie, you must really like him to let him take you out to
dinner.  So tell me all about him, what’s his name?”  She
pauses a minute like she’s wondering whether to tell me or not. 
Eventually she speaks. 

   “It’s Jerry Maguire.” 

 
  I spit my coffee out and frantically grab some tissues off my
desk to wipe my mouth.  “Seriously Jessie, you must be kidding me
surely?”  I choke.  

   “I’m not kidding, his name is Jerry Maguire,” She sighs.  

 
 “My goodness, he must get a lot of people ribbing him at his law
firm about that.”  Jessie’s tapping the end of the pencil on her
lips.  

   “I believe he does, and the worst part about it is he looks like Tom Cruise.” 

 
  I think I may have a heart attack.  It’s too early in the
morning for this.  “I must meet him Jessie, this I got to
see.”  She smiles her devilish grin again with her auburn locks
falling onto her perfectly rounded face.  

 
 “We’ll see, I’ll get the dinner over with first and see if he is
worth a second date.  Talking of which young lady, there has been
very little action as far as you’re concerned.  Why don’t you get
yourself out there girl?  I know Tony would appreciate it,
actually the majority of the police station unmarried or otherwise
would appreciate you putting it out a bit.”  

    I blush a bright red, “Jessie, you can’t say things like that, it’s not true. She sighs and rolls her eyes. 

 
 “Ana, you are either blind or stupid.  Have you looked at
yourself in the mirror lately?  It makes me vomit actually. 
I hate you and your British accent.” 

 
  I’m stunned at her honest confession, but she is smiling at
me.  I can’t believe that beautiful Jessie could possibly feel
that way about me, but we are both different, she has her auburn hair
and brown eyes; I have blonde hair and blue eyes.  Jessie is small
and petite; I’m 5’8” with curves.  The British accent comes from
the fact I was born and raised for a while in London until the age of
11 when my mum met and married an American Accountant, and we quickly
moved to New Jersey.  The thought of it all sends shivers all over
my body.  

   “I wish I had your breasts.”  

I’m
quickly snapped back to the conversation, “I think they’re too big
myself.”  She snorts in disgust and turns her chair back to her
desk.  

   “You’re coming out tonight aren’t you Missy?”  

 
  I turn and look at Jessie’s back; she swings her head around and
looks at me expectantly.  “Yes Jessie, even Jake is coming.” 
She swings her chair around again.  

   “Mr Boss man eh?  That means we have to behave ourselves.”  

 
  She pouts and I smile at her.  “He says he wants to keep an
eye on Tony.  He thinks that if he has a few he may make unwanted
advances towards me.”  Her posture picks up.  

   “Yet another man who wants you Ana and he’s shacked up with your mother of all people.”  

 
  I gasp at her comment, “Don’t be so silly Jessie.  He made
a comment about fatherly instincts.  I nearly puked.”  She
looks at me and frowns for a second.  What on earth is she
thinking now?  

 
 “Have you thought about it?”  I look confused, “Thought
about what?”  She’s got that grin back on her face.  

 
 “You must have, I think every female with a pulse in this station
must have.  He’s super fit, gorgeous, rich and has plenty of
power, who wouldn’t?”  

 
  My mind racing with what she says takes in every word. 
“Jessie, you can’t be serious, he’s my mum’s Fiancée,” I answer in
shock.  

 
 “Ana doesn’t mean you can’t think about it.  Personally, if
I were you I would be driving myself crazy in a room next to Mr God
himself.  Oh, the fantasies.”      I’m mortified,
but mostly at the thought that maybe she can read my mind. 
“Jessie, I’m going to get on with my work now and pretend you never
uttered those words.”  She looks up at me and her eyes
narrow.  She swings her chair back around and mutters, “Miss
Prissy.”  

 
  I know Jessie is joking, but I feel a knot in my stomach at her
comment.  I haven’t been with a man for a very long time because I
can’t get Jake out of my head.  I have tried to go on dates and
forget about him, but it’s impossible.  Six months ago when I
heard that Jake asked mum to marry him, I went out on a bender and
ended up the next morning with a raging hangover, and next to a man I
had never met before.  I was mortified and have been celibate ever
since.  I’m not a one-night-stand kind of girl and never have
been.  I just wanted to forget that night and I did.  Turns
out the man I slept with is a very nice guy.  He’s a Police
Officer from Leesburg called John and a handsome one at that.  He
wanted to see me again and had said that he had admired me from afar
for a while now, and couldn’t believe his luck when I agreed to go home
with him.  I told him I was sorry but I couldn’t, that I was
getting over someone and I’m not ready for a relationship.  He
didn’t seem happy with that, but we have remained friends.  Things
were a little bit strange after but he calls me now and then and still
asks if I’m ready.  Trouble is I don’t know if I’ll ever be. 
Jake is like my drug and I keep hanging around like a silly addict
waiting to see if I can get my fix, knowing full well I can never have
it.

I
pull myself from my slumber and look at the case files on my
desk.  At the moment there is a serial killer on the loose killing
women around my age with always the same M.O.  Blonde girls with
blue eyes who have been strangled but never sexually interfered
with.  It’s been going on about six months now and we are still
not closer to catching him.  He’s killed seven girls that we know
of so far and yet the scene is always clean.  It’s just making
mine and everyone else’s jobs that much harder.  

 
 “This asshole needs to be caught already.  He did it again
last night and not only that he exposed her.”  

 
  My head snaps up to look at Michael and Tom, the lead Detectives
on the case and their eyes lock on mine.  They look uncomfortable
when they see me.       “He’s done something
different this time.  Did he rape her?”  Michael pulls at his
collar like its ninety degrees outside.  It’s a beautiful day in
May but it’s not that hot yet and the air conditioning is on so it’s
lovely and cool.  He looks troubled.