Awake Unto Me (31 page)

Kerry looked at her for a long moment, then began kissing her again, this time her hands moving over Beth restlessly, insistently. Her palms were very warm but dry. Her touch was light and firm. The sensations captivated Beth. It seemed her body was no longer under her control. She gave herself over to it and to Kerry completely, without reservation or fear. Kerry parted her legs—not roughly but with purpose. Beth gasped and her hips jerked. Kerry’s fingers probed her, seeking, teasing, exquisitely torturous. Kerry took one of her nipples into her mouth once again and flicked her tongue over it again and again.

Beth’s nervous system was overwhelmed. A pressure of immense pleasure began to build. Her thighs and abdomen tightened and relaxed and then tightened again. She thrashed involuntarily until the feeling coalesced into one intense wave and she cried out. Kerry wouldn’t release her but kept hold of her, stroking her gently until it happened again. Beth lay panting, her strength gone. Kerry kissed her face, her eyes, her cheeks, murmuring, “I love you” over and over.

*

Afterward, they lay quietly. Kerry propped herself up on one elbow and with her other hand stroked Beth’s face and neck lightly.

“I’ve never felt this way,” Beth said finally. Her eyes were closed but she smiled slightly.

“It’s wonderful, isn’t it?”

“There is truly nothing else like it.” Beth had never given any thought to the idea of her body as an instrument of pleasure. She had scarcely ever entertained the idea of pleasure in any form. She knew of bodies as mechanical entities: they absorbed food and excreted waste; they breathed and slept; they grew diseased or got hurt; they died. That was what she knew of the human body, her own and everyone else’s. Kerry showed her things about herself she’d never imagined. She had known, of course, about the sexual relations of men and women; it was just that she hadn’t associated anything like that with herself. Kerry called forth sensations from her flesh that left her breathless, craving, and at last satisfied. She understood what it meant for someone to make love. She embraced the paradox of arousal and release.
You want desperately for the feeling to never stop yet you fear you might die of it. But you don’t die. That sensation reaches its delightful crescendo and then explodes.

“Show me how to do it. Show me how to give you what you just gave me.”

“Oh, that’s easy, my love. We start like this.” Kerry kissed Beth and their lips molded together and opened. She moved Beth’s hand to her breast and then between her legs.

“Oh, my,” Beth said, astonished at what she felt. Kerry was soft, so very soft, and so warm.

“Is that how I felt to you?” she asked. Kerry merely nodded, her breath coming in short gasps as her hips pushed against Beth’s hand. Beth watched her face as she moved her fingers the same way Kerry had. She was full of wonder at how Kerry looked and how she felt. She was humbled by her ability to give the same profound pleasure to Kerry that Kerry gave to her. Everything felt so natural.

*

It was late that night before they slept and late in the morning when they woke up. A sharp knock on the door awakened them. Kerry said in an urgent whisper, “Answer! Tell them we’ll be out presently.”

Beth cleared her throat and said, “Who is it?”

“Sorry to bother you, madam. Breakfast service will be over soon.”

“Ah, thank you for letting us know,” Beth said pleasantly. She started to giggle. Kerry giggled as well and they snuggled under the quilt. They looked at each other in the light coming from the window.

“I can scarcely believe we’re here together. I can never remember feeling like this,” Beth said. “I’m so in love with you, Kerry dearest. I knew I loved you before, but now we’re so much closer. It is, it is…” She opened her eyes wide and sighed. “It is more than—It is a miracle.”

Kerry smiled. “I wanted to tell you but it was better to show you.”

“You have shown me and I’m a changed woman.” They clung together and their bodies moved against each other. They kissed over and over.

Beth broke off to say, “We must get up and put our clothes on and leave. I can scarcely bear to be parted from you, although I know we aren’t parted exactly, but only must go back to the world outside.”

“We must.”

“You don’t suppose they’d let us stay in the room a while longer?” Beth asked, suddenly.

“I don’t know. It’s Sunday. I could ask, I suppose.”

“Oh, do!” Beth said enthusiastically. “And ask if we may have some food brought in.”

Kerry dutifully dressed and went down to the lobby. She talked to the desk clerk solemnly man to man.

“Newlyweds, are you?” He winked.

“Yes. If you could leave us until the evening, I will make it worth your while,” Kerry said. “And if you would send out for some food. Let us say some turtle soup, some bread, and a jug of drinking water.”

“Consider it done,” the young man said.

Kerry went back upstairs to their room. Beth was sitting in bed with the covers pulled up to her armpits but her hair was flowing over her shoulders, and when Kerry opened the door, she smiled so lovingly, Kerry nearly wept again with joy.

“It is all arranged, love. I asked them to bring us something to eat in an hour.”

“Well. I
am
hungry and I believe I should be very tired, as we got so little sleep, but…” Kerry was methodically removing her clothes and Beth was becoming distracted watching her. “I’m less concerned with my hunger or need for sleep than I am with other things.”

“Is that right?” Kerry had taken off her shirt and was just then unbuckling the leather belt she wore. Beth stared at her, momentarily speechless.

“My only need right now is you,” Beth said, finally.

When Kerry finally finished disrobing, she walked to the bed, completely naked. Beth could scarcely breathe, the sight affected her in so many ways.

She said nothing but turned the covers back.

Beth floated through her days on the wards. She was especially nice to the patients and extraordinarily cheerful and companionable with the other nurses. Beth’s coworkers noted she had never said much beyond what was necessary information, but now she actually spoke before being asked a question. They remarked upon it and teased her. But Beth only smiled and said nothing.

Marjorie Reynolds was perhaps her closest friend, and they chatted and occasionally ate together when they had the time. She asked Beth directly, “You have an air. Is it someone special?”

“I’m just in a good mood.” That was certainly true, if vague. She was supremely contented carrying out her duties and thinking about Kerry. In the back of her mind always was the memory of their love the night before and the anticipation of what would come when they could finally be alone and in bed together in the dark. It was not as it was at the hotel. They tried to be quiet so as not to wake Addison and Laura. They didn’t discuss, however, the idea that they would do nothing but sleep. They were far too enamored of each other to consider not making love.

It was difficult at times, since Kerry didn’t often return home until after midnight if she was working during dinner service. Beth would return home at six thirty, have supper with Addison and Laura, then retire to bed and fall into an exhausted sleep, only to wake to Kerry’s kisses and caresses. They would make love until they slept from sheer exhaustion. To make up sleep they often didn’t get out of bed until noon on Sunday.

“Are you sure that’s what you wish to do?” Beth asked doubtfully, stretching beneath the covers. It was their first Sunday off in several weeks. Kerry proposed that they go back to the Sutro Baths, but Beth was tired from the workweek and wanted to stay home.

“Yes, I’m quite sure. Think how enjoyable it will be now.” Kerry’s dark eyes danced with mischief. She grinned and raised her eyebrows.

Beth laughed. “You’re a devil. I’m not sure I should agree to this.”

“Oh, please say you will, Bethy,” Kerry said. “We must practice your swimming or you’ll forget.”

“Very well.”

Sutro’s Land’s End train wound around the cliffs above the Pacific Ocean. It passed near the Cliff House, which hung precariously off the side of a giant cliff. Up above was Adolph Sutro’s huge mansion. Beth and Kerry used the cover of Beth’s dress to hold hands discreetly. It was a trial for them to keep straight faces as they obtained their dressing-room key and clothes baskets. The bored attendant glanced at them curiously but made no comment.

Kerry was dressed as usual in trousers and a shirt, but she was jacketless, for the day was warm. It was clear to even a casual observer that she was a young woman. Kerry went into the tiny room first and Beth followed. Beth threw the deadbolt lock and turned. The moment she turned, Kerry pushed her against the door and kissed her fervently. Beth instinctively returned the kiss but put a hand on Kerry’s chest and pushed her back gently.

“Kerry, dearest, we’re here to go bathing. Let’s make use of the time.” The corners of Kerry’s mouth turned down but she said nothing. They silently removed their clothes and put on the bedraggled bathing costumes, never taking their eyes from one another.

I could touch her breast right this moment, Kerry thought. What would she say? What would she do? But she refrained.

They found themselves once again in the large saltwater pool and surrounded by hundreds of Sunday holidaymakers. The local ministers had complained of Mr. Sutro’s godlessness of having his business open on Sunday, but to no avail. The San Francisco citizenry were overjoyed to have the diversion and flocked to the Sutro Baths in record numbers.

“Let me see you swim,” Kerry said, liking the way the swim costume hugged Beth’s curves.

“Oh, I think I must have another lesson,” Beth responded, much to Kerry’s surprise. It was a sunny day and the sunlight filtered through the glass roof and walls of the Baths, rendering the pools of water bright blue. Beth’s eyes were more green than hazel in the light, and to Kerry they seemed to glitter with joy.

“Very well,” Kerry said, and bent in the water and stretched out her arms. Beth lay down on her back. She looked up at Kerry and went limp. Their eyes locked together, and Kerry kept her face still and grave. Beth didn’t move. Kerry was hard pressed to not kiss her at that moment. Her expression was one of perfect trust and love.

Kerry cleared her throat. “Would you like to practice your stroke?” she said softly.

“Yes, I believe I should,” Beth said, though she could scarcely breathe. She tore her eyes from Kerry’s and turned on her side and began to move her arms languidly and kick her feet. She fell into a rhythm and Kerry walked with her for a moment before releasing her. Beth glided away under her own power, staying on the surface easily. Kerry swam after her and they swam side by side to the other side of the pool. The many other swimmers were invisible to them and they were deaf to their shouts and splashes. They might as well have been completely alone. They swam back and forth for a while. Beth was still a bit tentative in the water. She watched Kerry play on the ropes and with the rings and the slides very much as she did during their first visit.
She is so at home in the water, so graceful and sure.
As she watched Kerry, she mentally removed the ugly faded bathing dress she wore. In her mind she thought of Kerry in bed or in the bathtub.

When Beth was twelve, she discovered and devoured
Bullfinch’s Mythology.
One of the stories that had struck her forcefully at the time, though she had no idea why, was the story of the Pleiades. That myth came back to her as she watched Kerry. To the twelve-year-old Beth, Artemis the huntress was a figure of awe. Her companions were the dozen beautiful girls called the Pleiades. Beth read that they would often stop at a clear forest pool to bathe.

In Beth’s mind, the Sutro Baths was transformed into a tree-shaded pond where the sunlight floated. She and Kerry swam and cavorted with a crowd of lovely, nude young women. Their girlish laughter rang as they splashed about and chased each other. Beth caught up with Kerry in the water and, grabbing her shoulder, spun her around so they could embrace, and their wet bodies came together deliciously as they kissed.

“Beth?”

Beth came back to the present with a start. She was sitting on the side of the pool, her feet dangling in the water, and Kerry lay at her knees grinning up at her.

“Are you all right, love?” Kerry asked. “You look odd. What are you thinking?”

“Yes. I’m fine.” She smiled to prove it. “Are you ready to leave?”

Kerry smiled even more widely. “Yes. I most certainly am.”

Kerry playfully stuck her tongue in Beth’s navel, making her jump. She laughed when Beth lightly slapped the side of her head.

“That tickles,” Beth said.

“Does it?” Kerry asked, laughing. “Perhaps I should do it again.” It was Sunday morning, and though the sun was bright outside, neither felt especially compelled to rise and put her clothes on.

Kerry kissed Beth’s stomach and abdomen instead and laughed as she jerked. She moved back up and pulled Beth into her arms, thinking it was a good time for what she had in mind. She had wanted to wait a bit and also to have more privacy than they could manage at the Grants’ for what she intended. They moved together kissing. Kerry moved her hand lower, touching Beth gently but insistently. She was rewarded with a light groan. She kissed her way down Beth’s body and finally parted her legs.