A Winter Sabbatical (Books We Love holiday romance) (9 page)

Everything finally fell into place – the
forest, the bed – now he understood. “He saved your life.”

She nodded. “He saved my life, but at what
cost?”

Travis cupped her face with his hands.
“Marissa.” She just stared ahead, somewhere into space. “Marissa – how long ago
was this?”

“Twelve months today.”

Chapter Five

Marissa awoke to find herself in bed.
Travis was asleep next to her.

She slid out of bed and put her feet to the
floor, trying not to disturb him. He must be tired after what she’d put him
through last night.

He was upset, she could tell he was upset,
but instead of ranting and raving about her being at the house all that time
without telling him, Travis spent his time comforting her.

Not that she deserved it. She’d lied to
him, hid the truth from him and refused to put his mind at ease.

Travis stirred and Marissa sat glued to the
edge of the bed, determined not to wake him.

Today was going to be the beginning of a
new life. Hmmm, she’d said that before hadn’t she? But this time would be
different – Travis would be there to help her. At least she hoped he would be.

Doubt began to creep into her mind. When
the going gets tough...

She shook her head. No, not Travis! He
wouldn’t walk out on her. That was one of the reasons she had finally decided
to tell him the truth.
The whole truth.
He needed to
know, and Marissa knew he would be her rock of Gibraltar,
her calming force, and her shoulder to cry on.

Today she felt better, finally she felt
better – ready to face the world, in fact. She could conquer anything,
everything, and she would.

Today she would work on her novel. Today
she would start over. Look out world, here
comes
a
brand-new Marissa Temple!

And with that resolve under her belt,
Marissa climbed into the shower.

The shower made her feel like a new woman.
Marissa washed her hair, something she didn’t do every day. It was so long and
thick, it took ages to dry.

She pulled on her undies and bra,
then
wrapped her wet hair in a towel.

She stood at the mirror and applied her moisturizer,
making doubly sure her skin was well covered.

She could hear Travis moving about the
house, but he’d respected her privacy, and hadn’t disturbed her.

She unwrapped her hair, drying it
vigorously,
then
Marissa looked at herself in the
mirror, pulling a face. “Coward,” she said. “You’re doing all this because you
don’t want to face him.”

Marissa pulled on her blue jeans and
t-shirt, letting the shirt
hang
loose. She slid into
her well-worn moccasins.

Her comfort clothes, she finally
acknowledged.

She didn’t finish drying her hair, nor did
she brush it. Marissa turned and walked out.

She found Travis in the kitchen. He had his
back to her and was making pancakes.

Mmmm,
it smelled good.
She’d talk to him after breakfast.

Marissa started to back off – perhaps he’d
never know she’d even been there.

One of her moccasins caught in the edging
strip where the carpet met the tiles, and Marissa lost her balance.

She fell flat on her back.

Travis spun around on the spot. “Well,
that’s a good look.” He was there in a few short strides, and squatted on the
floor next to her. “The hair’s good, too.”

Travis ran his fingers through Marissa’s
wet hair. At least, he tried. “What do you call this, a la rat’s nest?”

He was having
a lend
of her, but Marissa didn’t care. She liked it that way.

She reached out and took his hands, then
yanked him to the floor with her.

“Hey, not fair,” he said, but when Marissa
kissed him, Travis didn’t complain. He rolled toward Marissa,
then
hovered above her, his legs straddling her.

Marissa wrapped her arms around his neck,
and deepened the kiss. He was wearing only his jocks and a t-shirt, and she
could feel his arousal push against her, even through the thickness of her
jeans.

Without warning, Travis stopped. He pulled
back and looked at her. It was as though time stopped. He didn’t utter a sound,
not a single sound, just stared into her eyes.

Marissa was stunned. What was wrong with
him? Didn’t he want her? Then it hit her – he felt sorry for her. Well, she
wouldn’t have it!

She reached out and shoved him away, and
Travis landed flat on his back on the carpet.

Marissa stood up, and stood over him with
her hands on her hips. “Don’t you give me your damned pity, Travis
Johnston.
” Her hair was dripping all over him, but too bad.
He deserved it. “If you think I’m going to put up with that rubbish, then you
can just forget it.”

Travis lay speechless, looking up at her as
he brushed water off his face.

“Go home. I don’t want you here.” Marissa
turned and walked out of the room, not waiting for his response.

Travis sat on the floor feeling like a
scolded child.

What should he do now? He didn’t want to
leave, but Marissa certainly wanted him to.

Had he really pitied her? He didn’t mean
to, but maybe she was right. What did she expect anyway? The situation was not
to be taken lightly. Jeremy had practically died in her arms.

No wonder she was traumatized. What he had
to do now, was decided how to help, and pity obviously wasn’t the way to go
about it, if Marissa’s reaction was anything to go by.

Travis jumped to his feet, suddenly
remembering his pancakes.

Burned to a frizzle.
Not that he expected anything different. He should never have tried
to kiss her. It was too soon. Oh hell! –
he’d
made
love to her, too.
Good one, Johnston.

Travis threw out the ruined pancakes, and
began another batch.

“I thought I told you to go home.”

Travis turned to find Marissa standing in
the doorway, hands on hips. From the day he met her, he knew Marissa was a
strong willed woman, but this was ridiculous.

“I’m not going anywhere. If you don’t want
to be with me,” he flipped the last two pancakes over, “Then
you
leave.” Travis turned his back on
her to tend his pancakes.

He heard her indrawn breath, but chose to
ignore it. He lifted the tray of warm pancakes from the oven, and added the
last two, placing them all in the oven again. He turned around, but Marissa was
gone.

Music.
He could hear music. He followed the sound to the lounge room,
where he found Marissa listening to Patsy Cline’s heartbreaking version of
Crazy
.

Was that how she felt?
Lonely?
And did she really think he’d leave her? Leave her for somebody new?

Travis shook himself. He was acting crazy
himself. It was just a song. Wasn’t it?

He stood across the room, watching,
waiting, wanting her reassurance. As though she sensed his presence, Marissa
turned and looked at him.

Travis didn’t speak, but Marissa seemed to
understand his concern at her choice of music.

“Blues,” she said, as though that answered
everything.

Travis stepped forward, but Marissa put up
her hands defensively as Patsy Cline’s voice faded out.

Willie Nelson suddenly came through the
speakers singing
Blue Skies.

Great,
just great,
Travis thought,
the Blues just keep rolling on.

Marissa rifled through her CD’s. Was she
looking for more depressing songs to make her miserable day even more miserable?

He had to do something. This was absurd; he
couldn’t let her go on like this. Is this what she did when she was alone? No
wonder she was always so unhappy.
That, amongst other things,
anyway.

Travis covered her hand. “Let me,” he said,
noticing the trickle of tears down her face, but saying nothing.

She had a good selection of music, mainly
Blues and Country and Western. He wanted something with a bit more oomph to it
–something that would be mood altering.

“Ah-ha!”
He took it out of the box and put it the drive to play it. “One of
my favorites –
I want to be a Cowboy’s
Sweetheart
.”

“Really?”
Marissa smiled at him, for the first time all day.

Her meaning finally hit him, and Travis
laughed. “No, not really, but it is a great song, don’t you agree?”

Marissa’s mood did lighten a little, and
Travis let the next song on the CD play without interruption.
It’s
gentle words and music sweeping them into the flow of
their love.
I will always love you
,
brought tears to Marissa’s eyes. Already weepy, Travis realized the song was
not a good choice after
all,
and probably only served
to set her off again.

They stood entwined, gently rocking to the
rhythm of the song. Marissa rested her head on his chest, her hot tears
falling. Perhaps, Travis decided, letting go was harder than she’d thought it
would be.

Unchained
Melody
began, and as they moved around the room,
still holding each other, Travis sang the words at a whisper into Marissa’s
ear. She looked up at him, and he brought his hand up to wipe at her cheek.

It was going to be a long day – a very long
day.

“I’m sorry, Marissa,” Travis brushed a kiss
across her cheek. “I don’t want to go, but Jonah will be looking to be fed
soon.”

She didn’t want him to go either. She was
right – Travis
had been
her rock of Gibraltar, but if he had to go, then he had to go.

Marissa forced herself not to sigh. He
would hear it, and stay whether he wanted to or not. And then she would feel
guilty – a whole vicious circle.

“Thanks for everything.” She
would not
let him know how much it upset
her for him to leave. “Guess I’ll see you around.” That was that, then.

He looked at her quizzically. “Don’t you
want me to come back?” Travis looked hurt. Did she misunderstand him?

“You’re coming back?” Marissa let out such
a sigh of relief he must have heard it. And this time, she didn’t care.

Travis pulled her into the circle of his
arms and kissed her on the forehead. “I wouldn’t leave you alone at a time like
this.” Just having him near made her feel so much better. “I have to sort out a
few things at home, Jonah included,
then
I’ll be
back.”

Marissa stood at the door, her heart
sinking as he drove away.
Don’t be so
damned stupid
she admonished herself.
He’ll
be back soon.

Shoulders
slumped,
Marissa turned and walked back inside, then busied herself tidying up the
house. She’d done virtually nothing today – so much for getting stuck into the
new novel.

Travis had been there all day; he’d been by
her side almost every moment of the day. How she would have survived without
him, Marissa didn’t know.

How would she continue to exist without him
when she went back to Melbourne?
Marissa swallowed hard. Losing Jeremy had been hard, almost unfathomable, but
losing Travis would be harder, much harder.

It was something she hadn’t thought about
for a very long time. She’d been living in Daniel’s house for over three months
now. In all probability, she had less than three months to go before she had to
leave – forever.

She didn’t want to think about it.

***

Marissa was vacuuming, and hadn’t heard the
knock at the door.

The banging on the window startled her.

She looked up to see Travis standing there,
pointing to a large cardboard box. He was mouthing something at her.
Let me in
, he seemed to be saying.

Marissa was curious. What was in the box –
something for dinner? It looked more like a cake box than a pizza box.

She shrugged her shoulders. She would find
out soon enough.

“Don’t drop the box, whatever you do.”
Travis handed her the box as he sailed through the door. He held a large
shopping bag as well. “And don’t frown,” he said, brushing his fingers across
her forehead, causing Marissa to shiver involuntarily.

“Animal, vegetable, or mineral?” she asked,
heading for the sofa.

“Open it and find out.” He wasn’t giving
anything away, the rat.

Marissa put her ear to the box, when she
heard what sounded like a scratching noise.
A bird?
Was there a cage in that bag?

There were tiny holes in the box and she
peered in.

“Cheat!” he told her, dropping the bag on
the floor near her feet.

“I can’t see what it is, anyway.” She
opened the box as carefully as she could.
“Oh, Travis.
She is so beautiful.” Marissa pulled the tortoise-shell kitten out of the box,
and held it to her chest. She patted the seat next to her and Travis sat down.