A Winter Sabbatical (Books We Love holiday romance) (5 page)

Marissa slid her arms up around his neck;
she kissed his eager mouth, and then ran her fingers through his wavy black
hair. His hands were cupping her face, his fingers tracing the path of her jaw,
his warmth breath touching her cheek.

Marissa heard giggling behind her, and
looked down to see two small children looking up at them wide-eyed and
laughing.

Travis swore under his breath at this
unexpected and unwanted interruption. He watched in amusement as the color
flooded Marissa's face, which was visible even in the faded light.

Finally, they were alone once more. Marissa
was no longer responsive, and Travis silently cursed at the intrusion to his
carefully planned tryst.

***

Once again, Travis had to leave on
business, this time only for a few days. He would be back by Saturday, he said,
and would pick Marissa up in time for lunch. As she hung up the phone, Marissa
was already feeling downhearted and depressed.

She embarked on a week of non-stop work to
keep her mind off him. Instead she found herself daydreaming of Travis, and at
night, the same old memories and nightmares persisting.

She longed for the bliss of being in
Travis’ embrace, and the passion sparked by his kiss. She dreaded the painful
evenings alone and the dark, terror filled nights.

Saturday came slowly and Marissa looked
forward to the moment Travis would lean casually at her door. She could picture
him now; his head would be cocked to the side, his lips in a half-smirk, and
his eyes would sparkle in the sunlight. He would be wearing his most
comfortable faded jeans, and his crumpled shirt would hang over them
seductively.

She was sipping coffee, waiting anxiously
for him to arrive, when there was a knock at the door.

Marissa stood holding the door open, frozen
to the spot; unable to move. She stared at him, drank in his features, her eyes
gliding over him, as though this was their first meeting.

Travis reached out and took her hand,
brought it to his lips, and kissed her fingers one by one. He gently pulled her
close, and Marissa drowned in the pleasure of being held once more in his arms.
She rested her head against his chest, and listened to his steady heartbeat. They
held each other as though this was to be their last moment together.

 
When
finally they broke their embrace, Travis greedily covered Marissa’s mouth as
though he was starved of her; the taste of her, the feel of her.

Suddenly, Marissa pulled back from his
kiss, his touch. He stood staring into her tear-filled eyes. Once more, her
eyes were clouded with anguish.
An anguish
she
wouldn’t let him defeat.

Chapter
Three

 
“Are
we there yet?”

“This, Marissa, is the foot of the hill. Didn’t
I say we were going to Mount
Franklin?” He smiled that
smile she loved so much. “Mount – mountain – top of hill.” Marissa couldn’t
help but laugh.

He changed to low gear, and began the steep
climb up. Marissa stared out the window and across the valley through the gaps
in the trees. The mountain was thickly covered with pine and gum trees. So
thick in fact, in some places there were no gaps at all.

They eventually reached the top, and
Marissa tumbled out of the car, when it finally came to a standstill. “There’s
no view.”

“
All the
better to
get you alone, my dear,” he joked as he made a leap toward her.

Marissa's heart almost skipped a beat.
After all it was very secluded here, and she was letting him get to her much
more than she wanted. Wasn’t she?

As Marissa stood contemplating her
relationship with Travis, two strong hands grabbed her by the arms, startling
her back to the present.

“Are you all right?” Travis asked in that
deep husky voice of his that had no right to be so devastatingly sexy.

Marissa looked up at him.
“Yeah, sure.
Just daydreaming.”
She
shuddered, and Travis pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. Marissa
felt protected.

Marissa wanted to be alone, needed to be
alone. This war going on in her head, in her heart, was slowly killing her.

Her eyes filled with tears, and as they
soaked though his shirt, Travis lifted her face to him, and brushed away her
tears.

She couldn’t think. First it was Jeremy,
now Travis. Her heart was empty,
then
it was filled,
hot then cold, cold then hot.
Have to get
away – have to think.

 
She
wrenched herself out of his grip and ran toward the nearby trees.

Travis' strides equaled two of Marissa's,
and he quickly caught up to her. Reaching out, he caught her around the waist,
stopping her escape.

“Talk to me
please
,
Marissa? Don’t block me out.” His fingers followed the path of her tears.

Marissa looked up at him, but fearing his
pity, shrugged out of his grip and fled again, now angry with him.

“For God’s sake, talk to me!”

She heard his anger, felt his anger – the
atmosphere like an iceberg between them.

Marissa stumbled on a low bush, and Travis
caught her, stopping her fall. He pulled her protectively against him, but his
expression was black.

“It’s him again, isn’t it? How long is he
going to come between us? Forget him. I beg of you – forget him.” His hands
came up her back, and Travis began to gently massage in little circles.

Her eyes again welled with tears, for
Jeremy, for herself, but mostly for Travis. She could see the pain in his eyes,
the hurt she had caused. What was she to do, what could she do? She couldn’t
change the way things were.

She was getting too close. Way too close. It
would be better for them both to make the break now.

“You’re really not with it today, are you?”

She looked up to see Travis closely
studying her, and felt his gentle hands massaging her back. She realized then
and there, she couldn’t leave him – she loved him too much already.

 
“I’m
sorry. I guess I’m a bit depressed”

His warm breath brushed her cheek, and
Marissa rested her head against his shoulder.

“Let’s start again.” He took a deep breath.
“We’ve just arrived and need to find a picnic spot.”

***

And so the courtship of Marissa continued
over the next four weeks, with Travis taking her out to dinner midweek, then
sight-seeing every Saturday after they did her shopping. But still she quickly
ushered him out of the house, and refused to go to his, not trusting herself
alone with Travis. She simply wouldn’t allow him to totally penetrate her
heart.

She didn’t realize it was already too late.

The fax sprung into life. “Jonah misses
you.” The paper rolled further up the machine. “And so do
I
!
Can I come over now?”

Marissa stared at it momentarily, then
picked up the phone and dialed.

Travis’ voice came over the line. “Well?
Can I?”

“Travis Johnston! How did you know it would
be me? And no, you can’t, I’m working.”

“Hell! Who cares? I should be too, but I
miss you too damned much.” She heard him sigh down the line.
“Pretty
please?”

Marissa let out a long sigh. “Well, maybe
later. I’m in the middle of a news item right now, and if I don’t get it
finished soon, someone else will beat me to the punch.
Must
go.
Call you later.” She hung up the receiver.

It was pushing noon by the time Marissa put
the final touches on her article. She’d emailed it to the Perth Daily Mail,
then sat back in her thinking chair and smiled.

Now she had the confirmation she was
waiting for: her article would be published.

She was elated, and needed to share her
joy. “Travis. Hi! I did it – they’re publishing my article. To celebrate, you
can come over for lunch if you like.”

Travis sounded elated. “I’m leaving now, in
case you change your mind. Bye.”

He rang off, and Marissa instinctively knew
he wasn’t given her a chance to change her mind.

Travis brought the car to a gradual stop.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly walked the
few steps to the front door. He’d have to take things slow – Marissa’s moods
were all over the place.

They’d been going out for close on two
months, and still he couldn’t reach her.

What could have happened to cause her all
this distress? He needed to find a way to get it all out in the open – to
exorcise her demons.

So far he’d failed dismally – she just
wouldn’t let her guard down. Travis ran his fingers through his hair,
then
looked up to see Marissa standing at the open door,
staring at him.

“Hey, Babe.”
He reached out, running his hands down her arms.

“Babe?
No way – don’t call me Babe.” She was scowling at him now.

Marissa dragged him through the door. “You’re
drenched. What were you thinking, standing in the rain like that?”

Travis lifted his hand to his face.
“Rain?”
He was so consumed with his thoughts, and hadn’t
noticed the rain.

Marissa looked so happy today – possibly
the happiest Travis had ever seen her. But her eyes – they were still shrouded
with worry and turmoil. Whatever it was, he was determined to rid her of it
forever.

Travis clapped his hands together.
“Right.
Rain.”
Marissa began to dry
his face with a soft towel – it felt good. It was nice to be with her again.

He reached out and covered her hands as she
continued to dry him off. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, as he moved closer.
Cupping her face with his hands, Travis lightly covered her mouth with his
lips. Pulling back, he slid his fingers to her lips, and traced their outline. Her
muscles tensed beneath his touch, and Travis raised his brows in question.

“Lunch.”
She lifted her hands and gently covered each of his.

Travis felt his heartbeat accelerate.
You’re acting like a damned teenager,
he
told himself.

“We’re supposed to be celebrating.” Marissa
started to back off, but Travis held her back.

“I am celebrating. Want to join me?” he
asked, as his hands slid to her buttocks.

Marissa slapped at his hands, and Travis
let go, but moved forward and kissed her neck.

“Don’t tell me,” he continued to nibble –
“that you,” his hands slid to her blouse – “don’t like this.”

Marissa’s breathing quickened and her face
was flushed. She’d long ago slipped her arms around his waist. “Aren’t you
hungry?” She wrenched his hands away and tried to re-fasten her now open
blouse.

Travis stared down at her lacy white bra,
and his gaze rested on her cleavage.

“Really, Travis!
You are so juvenile sometimes.” Marissa continued to cover herself
as she turned and walked toward the kitchen.

Travis stood at the kitchen door staring at
the spread Marissa had prepared.

She avoided his enquiring eyes.

“So when did you have time to do all this?”
He flung his arm out and pointed to the food Marissa had carefully laid out.
“Spaghetti bol, salad, apple pie – and don’t tell me it’s out of a can. I know
home-made when I see it.”

Marissa was annoyed – what damned business
was it of his, what she does?

She looked up to see him staring at her.

“I thought you were too busy working? At
least that’s what you told me.”

Marissa could feel the heat creep into her
cheeks. She’d have to tell him.

He stood with his hands on his hips. A
silent demand, she guessed.

“I had another phone call from my mum last
night.” She dragged her gaze away from him, choosing instead, to stare at the
floor. “She always wants to talk about Jeremy.”

Travis stepped toward her, and gently
lifted her chin, forcing Marissa to face him. His brows were raised in
question.

“I cook when I’m depressed,” she explained.

Travis brushed her cheek with his fingers,
and his touch almost scorched her skin.

It would be so easy just to drown in his
affection. To forget about the rest of the world, to never have to think again,
never have to cry again.

Marissa moved forward and rested her head
against his shoulder, sliding her arms around his waist.

She felt his hands come up around her back.
He felt so good; she didn’t want to move.
Ever.

He lifted his hand and tucked her hair
behind her ear, then kissed her gently on the cheek. “Want to talk about it?”

His voice was soft, comforting, and it
would have been so easy to say yes. Marissa licked her lips. This was hard – so
hard. He deserved better than this. Travis had been so kind to her; so patient,
and what had she done in return? She’d deceived him, that’s what.

Why would he stay with her? She’d done
nothing but lie to him – well, not quite lie – just not told the entire truth.

She’d let him think...

It wasn’t her fault what he thought. If he
went around jumping to conclusions, she couldn’t be held responsible. Could
she?

Marissa shifted her weight, still leaning
against Travis’ shoulder. She glanced up to find him watching her. His gaze
almost burned her, it was so intense.

“All right, Babe?” She’d just ignore the
‘Babe’ – for now.

“Sure.” She looked up at him and smiled.
“Let’s have lunch.”

Travis sat back on the sofa and patted his
belly. “
You
are a great cook. That
was a delicious meal.” He looked across at Marissa, sitting opposite. She was
certainly depressed this afternoon. What could he do to lighten her mood?

Marissa reached up and rubbed her forehead
with her fingertips.

“Headache?”
She nodded, and Travis moved to behind Marissa’s chair and began
massaging her shoulders. “You’re muscles are knotted up – I don’t know how
you’re not having migraines.”

Marissa leaned back into the chair.
Good, she was beginning to relax.
But
now he couldn’t massage her shoulders properly.

“Don’t take this the wrong way.”

Marissa turned her head to look at him.

“Why don’t we move into the
bedroom.
” He quickly added, “It would be easier to massage
you on the bed.”

She agreed, and he followed her into the
other room.

Marissa lay belly down, with Travis
balanced precariously beside her. He’d found some towels, and some cooking oil.
He warmed the oil between his hands the way his sister had taught him, and
began to rub it all over Marissa’s back.

She had reluctantly removed her blouse, and
Travis had covered her with a towel. Now he was really beginning to see the
results of his patience; Marissa was starting to really trust him.

His hands moved gently along her spine, and
then kneaded the muscles of her shoulders and neck. Marissa groaned
intermittently and Travis smiled. She was so wound up.

“How’s that?” he asked.
“I’m not hurting you, am I? My sister says I have to be
more gentle
, that I’m a ruffian.” He chuckled. “I’m not
really though,
am I
?”