A Winter Sabbatical (Books We Love holiday romance) (7 page)

She looked at him,
then
shook her head.

“You’re really sure about this?”

Marissa covered his lips with her fingers
again.

There would be no turning back. What if she
called out Jeremy’s name?

He wrapped her in the towel, and then
grabbed another one out of the cupboard for himself.

“I lit the fire,” he said, then decided it
was a pretty stupid thing to say. It suddenly dawned on him – he was nervous!

Travis led Marissa over near the fireplace,
and she sat on the rug, still wrapped in the towel.

Jonah was there too, and Travis shoved him
out of the way. “Not tonight, sport. Find somewhere else.”

Marissa laughed, but Travis could tell she
was nervous too.

He kneeled on the rug next to her, and
removed his towel; Marissa followed his lead,
then
lay
on her back. Travis leaned forward, balanced above her, moving in to kiss her,
and Marissa opened her mouth to accept his kiss.

He looked into her eyes. Was she really
ready for this? She stared back at him, and he tried to read her thoughts.
Nothing.
Nothing! No anger, no worry, and no anguish.

Travis positioned himself above her, sheathing
himself with a condom, and Marissa opened herself up to him. He moved slowly at
first,
then
moved deeper and deeper inside her, gently
rocking.

She moved her hands over his back. God, she
was killing him! He began to move quicker and quicker, her body jerked under
him, and he emptied himself into her as they came together.

Travis rolled off her sweaty body, and lay
next to her on the rug. As he turned and faced her, he saw the tears slowly
rolling down her cheeks.

Chapter Four

Travis reached out to Marissa, pulling her
against him.

She rested her head on his chest. He could
feel her warm tears as they continued to fall.

Why didn’t he listen to his instincts? She
wasn’t ready – he knew she wasn’t ready. But did he believe it? No – he had to
be selfish. He wanted to make love with her.

He reached over and brushed the tears from
her face. Marissa’s arm moved across his chest and around him. She snuggled in.

The fire roared beside them – it was
comforting. When all else failed, Travis would light the fire, sit and watch
it’s mesmerizing flames, and listened to the story they told.

He stared into them now. What advice did
they have to offer?

Marissa shifted her body. She wanted
comfort. What could
he
offer her?
He’d just destroyed any remaining peace of mind she may have gathered along the
way.

And for what?

The chance to make love
to her, the chance to be with her, the chance to love her forever.

Marissa snuggled in closer.

Travis reached up and wiped her tears away.
What had she thought – that Travis would rid her of Jeremy, simply by making
love to her? She wanted him to make love to her. She was in love with Travis.
She had to put Jeremy in the past – rid herself of him forever, and move
forward.

She looked at his face. Deep furrows etched
his brow as he stared into the flames of the fire. Had she done this to him?
Had she caused him this pain, this sorrow? She had to live with the pain, the
emptiness – she certainly didn’t want to make it contagious.

Marissa reached around his body, shifting
her position. He wouldn’t even look at her. Had he already regretted his
actions?

Marissa awoke to find herself covered in a
blanket. She could hear Travis moving about the house – in the kitchen going by
the direction of the sounds.

She sat up and stretched her arms above her
head. Jonah had positioned himself comfortably at her feet.

How long had she been asleep?

Looking out the window, she surmised it had
been ages – it was now pitch black outside.

“Ah, finally sleeping beauty awakes.”
Travis walked into the room carrying a tray of hot food. “Soup all right for
starters?”

So, he wasn’t even going to talk about it?

He dropped the tray on the counter,
then
headed toward her. Travis helped Marissa to her feet,
and she pulled the blanket up around herself. Despite the warmth of the fire, a
shiver ran through her.

Travis put his arms around her, and Marissa
rested her head against his shoulder. She listened to his steady heartbeat. “I
want to explain,” she started, but he stopped her by laying his fingers across
her lips.

“You don’t have to explain anything.”
Marissa heard his heartbeat quicken.

They held onto each other, and Travis
stroked Marissa’s hair. It was comforting – he was comforting. She wanted to be
with him forever.

***

“Is it the actual bed that’s worrying you?”
Travis watched as Marissa stood over his four-poster bed.

She shook her head.

It was an original, mainly black, and had
beautiful gold knobs on the top of each poster. It even had mosquito netting
authenticating its origin even more. The bed came with his inheritance.

Marissa looked at the bed, then Travis.
Then she looked at the bed again.

What
was the problem?

“Do you want to go home?” He certainly
wasn’t going to force her to stay the night. It was her suggestion, after all.

Jonah wandered in and rubbed his neck
against Marissa’s leg. She reached down and picked him up, holding him close
against her. Marissa looked a little more relaxed with Jonah in her arms. More
than she had since...

Travis wasn’t sure what to do next. Should
he climb into bed and hope she would follow suit? Perhaps he should push the
issue and make her tell him what was wrong?

Yeah,
like that’s going to work! Since when did Marissa Temple take orders from
anyone?

He shrugged his shoulders at her. If she
didn’t want to go to bed yet, then that was fine with him. He’d turn on the
television – maybe there was a good movie on.

Travis walked out of the room nonchalantly.
Was this a normal occurrence, or was
he
the problem?

His mind drifted back to the day of the
massage – the day Marissa fell asleep. The day he watched her tormented face,
listened to her terrified voice, watched the perspiration pour from her.

Once again, Travis knew exactly
who
was the problem
.

Marissa stood looking down at the bed.

She could hear the noise of the television.
Travis had apparently found something decent to watch. Perhaps she should go
out and join him?

Jonah began to lick her fingers. She rubbed
her cheek against his head, and he began to purr. His white fur was soft and
silky. She loved having a cat around – that was something she missed when she
leased the little flat in the city – no pets allowed. Daniel probably wouldn’t
mind if she had one at the house. She’d ask him next time he phoned. Or maybe
she could send him an email.

She sat on the edge of the beautiful
four-poster bed. It certainly felt comfy enough; she pushed at it with one
hand, the other one still holding Jonah.

“Tell the truth,” she whispered aloud.
“It’s not the bed, it’s you.”

Marissa sighed. She had to make a decision
– climb into bed, or go out and snuggle up with Travis.

There was really no choice, was there?

Still half asleep, Travis patted the bed
beside him.

He knew the bed was empty even before he’d
confirmed it. He’d lain awake for ages while she slept, listening to her steady
breathing, wallowing in her nearness, cringing every time she moaned in
nightmarish agony.

He glanced across at the bedside clock.
Three a.m.

Marissa had fallen asleep in the middle of
the movie, snuggled up against him, and he hadn’t wanted to disturb her. It had
finally finished around midnight, and he’d carefully picked her up and carried
her into bed.

But where was she now?

Travis grabbed his toweling bathrobe, not
bothering to do it up. As he entered the lounge room, he spotted her.

Marissa stood staring out the window into
the blackness. He stood watching her silhouette as the trees gently waved in
the breeze, the sky jotted by the endless stars and the moonlight.

He took a step forward, and the floorboards
creaked, startling her.

She turned and looked at him, the curves of
her body visible under her makeshift nightie – one of his t-shirts. Of course,
it was a mile too big, and he’d probably never wear it again, now that it had
the mark of Marissa on it, in it.

They stared at each other, not saying a
word.
Someone
had to break the spell.

“Can’t sleep?”
Stupid question Johnston,
of course she can’t sleep. Why the hell else would a person stand staring out
the window at this ungodly hour?

He saw her lips curl slightly in the
moonlight.

“Sorry – did I wake you?”

As if she knew he could see through the
shirt, Marissa wrapped her arms tightly around herself, pulling the loose folds
of the shirt with them.

Travis walked slowly toward her. “No. No
you didn’t.” He tried to
smile,
to make her feel more
at ease, but his mouth wouldn’t do what his brain was telling it to do. “Is
everything all right? Can I get you anything?”

She waved a hand at him. “Go back to bed,
I’ll be fine.” Marissa turned back to face the window.

Instant dismissal?
Travis felt a chuckle rolling up his chest to his mouth. He
couldn’t stop himself. It really wasn’t funny. No, this was a serious matter.

Marissa turned back to look at him.

“Are you laughing at me?” The moonlight was
playing directly on her face. He could see the furrowing of her brows, her
forehead.

“Moi?”
He smiled.

Marissa smiled back; a tiny smile, but a
smile nonetheless.

He took another step forward. The floor
creaked again.

Marissa stood staring at him.

“My burglar alarm.”

A smile; finally he got a smile.

“I’ll put on the jug.” Marissa disappeared
into the kitchen, dropping Jonah on a chair as she went.

A fool.
He probably thought her a fool, standing staring out the window at
this hour of the morning.

Of course he hadn’t said as much. But,
Travis wouldn’t, would he?

She reached up and pulled two mugs out of
the cupboard, and heard a low “meeoooow” behind her. Jonah must have followed
her.

Marissa rifled through the cupboards trying
to find tea. Coffee would never do at this hour. Sleep was elusive enough,
without giving it a helping hand. Travis would probably feel the same.

As she poured the boiling water over the
teabags, Jonah rubbed his soft fur against Marissa’s bare leg. It felt good,
nice, and it was comforting.

She had at least discovered something
tonight. It wasn’t her bed that was the problem. It was beds in general.

Travis must have thought she’d taken leave
of her senses when she wouldn’t climb in. He must have carried her in after the
movie; she couldn’t remember going to bed at all.

Marissa spooned sugar into the cups,
then
added the milk. She heard a sound behind her, and
turned.

Travis stood casually in the doorway,
watching her every movement. He looked eerie standing there, with the moonlight
behind him; almost like an angel with a halo.

Angel? Not likely. He’d proven last night
he was no angel. Not when it came to making love on that rug, anyway. The rug
she’d never be able to look at again, without her mind churning back to that
night, and what they’d done.

The spoon hit the sides of the mug, making
a tinkling noise. It echoed through the kitchen, and probably through the
house. Every miniscule sound was noticeable; the ticking clock, the water
dripping from the kitchen tap, leaves brushing against the kitchen window.

Travis helped himself to a mug, and Marissa
followed him out into the lounge room.

She’d opened the drapes when she’d gotten
up. Travis had a marvelous view looking out over the rolling hills, across the
countryside. Trees as far as the eye could see, fences from adjoining properties,
animals such as cows and sheep, and across the skyline, birds flew, squawking
as they went.

The full moon was brilliant, and Marissa
found it hypnotizing. She would sometimes watch it for hours. When she couldn’t
sleep,
which was nearly always.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Travis
looked at her over the rim of his mug.

“No,” she said, noticing the sexy tussle of
his hair. And that bare chest wasn’t bad either. She slowly sipped her tea.

“When?”

“When what?” She stared out at the moon.
Maybe if she didn’t look at him, he’d leave her alone.

“When are we going to talk about it?” He
sat his drink on the side table. “About what’s bothering you?”

Distracted, Marissa took a large gulp of
tea, and nearly choked on it.

Travis came closer, patting her back.
Almost like burping a baby.

She waved a dismissive hand at him, again.
“Probably never.
It’s not something I want to talk about.”
He looked straight into her eyes, as though he was trying to read them. Or read
past them, into her brain, or worse still, her soul.

She stood, taking her drink with her, and
walked over to the open window. Light splayed from below the horizon; the sun
was beginning to rise. Marissa loved this time of day. It was... indescribable.

Travis stood behind her, wrapping his arms around
her slender body. Where had he come from? She hadn’t heard him move.

Marissa leaned back, relaxing against him.
They stood together in silence, watching the sunrise.

***

“I’m sorry, Dan. I know it’s the middle of
the night over there.”

Marissa had long gone. She’d insisted he
take her home, right after breakfast. Too much work to do, she’d said.
Can’t stay.

 
“I
thought we were mates?” He was getting frustrated. What was the use of ringing
Daniel, if he wouldn’t tell him what he needed to know? “Yeah, yeah; she’ll
tell me if she wants me to know.” Travis let out a long sigh.