A Winter Sabbatical (Books We Love holiday romance) (11 page)

Travis’ biggest concern was that Marissa
was using him as a shield – a shield against her painful memories; memories of
Jeremy.

Deep down, he knew it wasn’t true. Marissa
would never use him like that. She would never do that to anyone, let alone
Travis.

He glanced across at her. She was watching
the countryside pass her by. She seemed to be in awe of its beauty – its rugged
splendor.

She once told him she was a city girl
through and through, but Travis now realized it simply wasn’t true. Marissa was
at home here in the country, in Maldon.

And Maldon was where he wanted her to be.
He recalled that first day they met – the way she’d become so excited on seeing
his home. Could he convince her to live in that home? He certainly hoped so.

Come what may, Travis wanted to spend the
rest of his life with Marissa Temple.

They pulled into the picnic grounds in the
late afternoon. There were still a few other cars in the car park, and children
on the playground equipment, their parents not far away.

Together they’d packed a hurried picnic
dinner comprising of sandwiches, drinks and some leftover cake. Travis didn’t
care what they ate, as long as they ate together.

It was a long time since he’d come to these
grounds, years in fact, and he barely recognized it. Somewhere here was a track
to follow, ending at a spectacular waterfall. At least that’s what he seemed to
recall.

“A penny for them.”

Marissa turned to him, startled by his
words. “Huh?” She was worlds away.

“Your thoughts. A penny for your thoughts.”
He reached across the space between them and brushed a stray wisp of hair from
her tired face. These last two days seemed to be too much for her.

“I was thinking about how stunning it is
here.”

And I
was thinking how stunning you are
, Travis silently
added.

Together they carried the basket of food to
a grassy area nearby. Travis flicked the blanket out over the lush grass, then
Marissa set out their food on it.

As they ate, Travis looked about them. The
place had changed a lot since his last visit. It had to be at least ten years
since he’d been there. Absolute minimum.

Electric barbeques, four of them, were
housed under a picnic shed. The children’s playground was new, there wasn’t one
last time he visited, Travis was almost certain.

And the walking tracks were now paved. They
were just dirt tracks the last time he came. That would certainly make life
easier.

He popped the cork on the champagne, and
filled two glasses, handing one to Marissa.

“To love and happiness.” Travis leaned
forward and kissed her briefly.

Champagne was an extravagance at a picnic
he knew, but love was always worth celebrating. Especially love with Marissa.

“Love and happiness.” Marissa clinked her
glass against his, but abruptly turned her head away.

How could he have been so blind? He’d
overwhelmed her. With his attentions, his lovemaking, perhaps even his very
presence.

But he didn’t comment as Marissa brushed at
her errant tears, then turned back to him smiling and drinking her champagne.

Almost the second they’d finished eating,
Marissa began to pack up – as though she couldn’t wait to get away. Travis was
puzzled. He was sure she would love it there.

“Come on slow coach. I want to go on the
walk.”
Ah, so that was it.
“And I
don’t want to be coming back in the dark.”

Travis helped with the packing away, then
they started their adventure. If he remembered correctly, the climb was pretty
steep.

Sure enough, steep it was. At least now
there were handrails to help with the steady climb.

Another new addition, Travis noted, were
the lights jotted along the path, making it easier to find the way back to the
car park in the evening.

Marissa ran ahead of him, occasionally
waiting, sometimes grabbing his hand impatiently and pulling Travis along after
her.

Finally they arrived at their destination –
the waterfall.

Marissa stood in awe. The waterfall was
spectacular, brilliant in fact.

Travis had told her it was nice, but he
didn’t tell her it was absolutely magnificent.

She felt drawn to it, its pull almost
overpowering.

She had to get closer. Marissa wanted to
feel the cool air caused by the water, wanted to smell its freshness, wanted to
feel the light spray of water from it.

She wanted to become part of the waterfall.

She looked back – Travis was still way
behind – he was such a dawdler sometimes. Marissa laughed as she ran toward the
falls. She was so glad she came; so pleased Travis had brought her here.

The closer she got, the more she felt its
tug, its awe-inspiring magnetism.

Marissa felt overwhelmed by the moment, the
awesome moment. She pulled off her shoes, stripped off her jeans and t-shirt.
She looked back again – Travis was running toward her. What did he think she
was going to do? She just wanted to feel the water on her face, her skin. Her
bare skin.

She looked around, too late she realized.

They were alone, totally and utterly alone.
She dragged her knickers down over her hips and slipped them off. Then she
reached behind her back, unclasping her bra, then dropped both into a bundle on
top of her other clothes.

Marissa ran toward the waterfall. She felt
free, freer than she’d felt for so terribly long.

She heard Travis call her name. Party
pooper – she was going in no matter what. Travis called out to her again, and
again.

She blocked him out. She had to do this.
She had to liberate herself, wash away her pain, forever.

Marissa stood under the water, the freezing
water, letting it wash over her. Razor-sharp arrows were trying to stab her,
pierce her skin. Trying to perforate her soul, penetrate her very being.

It was loud, deafening. The sound drummed
in her ears, over and over. The water was artic. It froze her, from her skin
right through to her bones.

Finally, Marissa felt cleansed – Jeremy was
washed from existence.

***

Travis ran toward the waterfall, toward
Marissa.

What the hell was she doing? Didn’t she realize
how damned cold that water was? Or how dangerous it was on the shelf – from the
slime and mud? Just one slip and she was a goner.

Impetuous, that’s what she was.

On reflection, Travis realized this
behavior was way out of character for Marissa. So what caused all this? He
dragged his t-shirt over his head as he continued toward the waterfall, and the
very naked Marissa. The closer he got, the louder the noise became.

Travis felt the overflow of water hit his
face. Nice – it felt nice. Cool, refreshing, waking him up.

For a moment, one spontaneous, outrageous
moment, Travis thought about joining Marissa.
Nope
he decided,
one loony is
enough.

Travis strode purposefully forward.

***

Marissa saw Travis out of the corner of her
eye. He was holding up his t-shirt and signaling to her. What did he want? She
was happy there under the water.

She looked at her arm. Goosebumps. And her
teeth were chattering.

Fine. She would indulge him, let Travis
mother her a little. But he’d better not be condescending. She wouldn’t stand
for that.

Marissa shuffled toward Travis. The ground
was slippery – she hadn’t noticed it before. The almost unbearable roar of
water was still in her head. It almost besieged her.

Travis was shouting something at her. He
looked almost panic-stricken. What was wrong with him? She was just standing
there – naked, granted – but still just standing.

Marissa made her way out of the water. The
cool wind was cutting through her, almost freezing her, and that all-consuming
roar was still in her head – pounding and pounding, screaming, blaring at her.
Marissa put her hands to her ears.

Travis was yelling something at her. She
couldn’t hear him – what was he saying? Marissa couldn’t think straight. But
she edged toward him, and suddenly he had hold of her.

He was pulling something over her. What was
he doing? What was he saying?

She was cold, so cold.

He pulled Marissa against himself. She
could feel the warmth of his body, the warmth of his hands.

The roar was leaving her, his hands warming
her, his kiss comforting her.

“Why did you do that?” she heard him ask.
She snuggled in closer. Her hands went up his back. His skin was bare, cool
now. He flinched at the icy feel of her hands.

She felt the ripple of his muscles as he
moved.

Why? Why did she do what she did?

She had to, and that was that. They
collected her things, and headed back toward the car.

Chapter Seven

Travis lit the fire, while Marissa sat on
the sofa playing with Jonah.

He looked back over his shoulder at her. “I
rescue you, and Jonah is the one to be rewarded?”

Marissa pursed her lips. “No one
rescued
me. I told you before, I didn’t
need rescuing; I was fine.”

“Really?” Travis wasn’t convinced.

“Really. Admit it – you just wanted your
own private wet t-shirt competition.” Marissa grinned and Travis couldn’t help
but laugh. “Huh! No denial equals guilt.”

Travis shrugged his shoulders. What could
he say? He certainly enjoyed the result of his shirt on Marissa’s wet body. Her
long hair was saturated and added to the effect. He also enjoyed their warming
shower, and what came after.

He glanced up at Marissa, clad only in a
clean dry t-shirt, and grinned.

“What?”

Looking at her now, Marissa seemed so
innocent, but Travis knew better. Oh yeah, he knew better.

The fire was well ablaze, and Jonah was
fed. Travis and Marissa were snuggled up on the rug in front of the fire.

“Marissa?” Travis moved closer.

“Mmmm?” she was dozing from the heat, and
the extraordinary activities of the day. Travis went up on one elbow, hovering
above her. He brushed Marissa’s hair off her face.

“Marissa?” she sleepily opened her eyes,
and Travis leaned over and kissed her. He stretched his free arm around to pull
her closer. Marissa reached up and hugged him tight, then deepened the kiss.

Travis touched her cheek with his fingers,
then let them slide slowly down her neck, her shoulder, then brushed his agile
fingers against Marissa’s braless breast. She swiped his hand away.

“Now that I’ve got finally your attention.”
Travis rolled onto his back, then pushed himself into a sitting position on the
rug.

He shoved his hands into his faded jeans,
and then pulled them out again. He reached out and took Marissa’s left hand.

“Marissa,”

“Yes?”

Travis lifted his fingers to her lips. He
shifted position to land on his knees.

“Marissa,”

“What already?” She was getting impatient,
he could see.

“Hell! This is hard enough – stop
interrupting.”

Marissa suddenly jumped up and was about to
walk away. Travis stood with her, then reached out and grabbed Marissa’s arm.

“Wait. I’m sorry – don’t go. Please?”
Marissa stood rigid, her lips pursed, and Travis dropped to his knees. “Marissa
Temple, will you marry me?” He slid a diamond ring on her finger, and Marissa
stared at it.

Her heart was beating at a million miles an
hour.

She could feel his eyes on her, and glanced
up to find Travis carefully observing her. What should she do? She had to say
something – but what?

Travis would expect an answer, and he would
expect that answer immediately.

“Marry you?” It was such a surprise, a shock
– so totally unexpected. Marissa had to make a decision, and she had to make it
now. She stared at the ring again. It was beautiful, stunning.

But did she love Travis? She couldn’t marry
him, anyone, unless she loved them. She searched her mind and found the answer.
Or rather, the question – was the sky blue?

She glanced up to find Travis scrutinizing
her. What should she do? She wanted to marry him. She wanted to spend every
waking moment with him.

She twirled the ring around on her finger.

“Well?” He was getting impatient, agitated.
She had to give him an answer.

Marissa looked down at the ring, then
wrenched it off her finger.

“I’m sorry, Travis.” She could feel tears
welling up in her eyes. This was hard, so hard. She wanted to marry him, she
really did. But it was difficult, so terribly difficult.

Travis stared at her. She shoved the ring
back into his hand.

“You don’t want to marry me?” It was his
own fault. He should have waited.
Fool!
You bloody fool, of course it was too soon.

Marissa looked as though she was about to
burst into tears. What should he do? He’d made such a mess of things.

Marissa stared down at her feet. Travis
reached out and lifted her chin with his fingers. “It’s all right. I’m sorry, I
shouldn’t have...”

“No, this is my fault,” she told him in a
quiet little voice. “I have some—” She swallowed, and Travis pulled her against
him, holding her tight.

“It doesn’t matter. I love you, and if you
don’t want to marry me, then that’s fine too – as long as we can be together.”
Marissa looked up at him, her sad eyes boring into him. “You do want to be with
me, don’t you?” he asked, suddenly terribly unsure of himself.

Marissa swallowed hard trying to quell the
trickle of tears. “I
do
love you, and
I
do
want to be with you,” Travis
felt a relief like he’d never felt before. “I was trying to tell you, I have
some unfinished business to sort out first.”

***

Travis pulled up outside the brick veneer
house.

It was an average looking house, for the
city. It stood on a quiet street, and gave the impression of being unassuming.
Marissa sat on the seat next to him.

“Can we drive around the block again?” She
looked panic stricken, positively unnerved.

“We’ve already done that, twice. Look,
Marissa, if you don’t...” His words died on his lips as Travis heard tapping on
the window.

He pressed the appropriate button, and the
window slid down. Marissa glared at him.

Travis turned off the engine, stepped out
of the car and introduced himself.

Frank Saunders, Jeremy’s father, opened the
door. His wife, Anne, stood next to him. Marissa had no choice but to get out.

It was harsh, but Travis knew it was the
only way. It was something she had to do, she’d said, the last step toward
freeing herself.

Marissa stood rigid, her hands by her
sides. Travis wanted to reach out, to hold her, hug and comfort her, but it
wouldn’t help Marissa. She had to do this, for her own peace of mind.

“Hello Frank. Anne.” She was pale, paler
than Travis had ever seen, and his heart was breaking for her, but if this is
what it took, then so be it.

Jeremy’s mother Anne stepped toward
Marissa. She looked as strained as Marissa, Travis thought. The two women
reached out and hugged each other. They cried on each other’s shoulders and
whispered in each other’s ears, words audible only between the two.

His heart was breaking just watching them;
he couldn’t imagine what Marissa was going through. Nor Jeremy’s parents.

Eventually, Marissa moved out of Anne’s
embrace and went over to Frank. They cried together, holding each other tight,
then Frank reached out and took Travis’ hand. He placed it in Marissa’s then
turned her toward Travis.

Travis could feel emotion building up in
him. His eyes welled with tears as Marissa rested her head on his shoulder.

The Saunders had given Marissa their
permission and their blessings, to get on with her life.

***

It had been a difficult day –- for both of
them, but especially Marissa.

She was asleep on his sofa, and Travis
didn’t want to disturb her. He was to meet her parents after they left the
Saunders, but Marissa was just too rung out. Her mother always demanded way too
much of her, Marissa had told him one day, so he made the decision to defer
their meeting until another day.

He stood over her, watching her sleep.
Peaceful – she was sleeping peacefully. She wasn’t groaning and her face wasn’t
twisted in agony. She wasn’t screaming this time, and it appeared that the
nightmares had finally gone. Was this the end of her torment?

Travis sighed. She didn’t deserve it, any
of it; none of it was her fault. It was an accident, a horrific ‘wrong place at
the wrong time’ kind of accident.

Travis walked over to the window, and
looked out across the valley. It was relaxing, standing there, and watching the
leaves dance lightly in the breeze. He silently observed as the birds – mainly
cockatoos and galahs – glided downwards along on the wind, and came in to land
in the paddocks, to feed on the seeds they found amongst the grass.

How many times had he stood here in this
very spot and done this very same thing? And how many times had he seen, really
seen, all these things?

Rarely – Marissa had opened his eyes to his
surroundings. Marissa had taught him to live.

Travis looked up at the sky. Dark clouds
were moving in – soon it would be raining.

Marissa had replaced his ring on her finger
practically the second they walked in the door. Now all they had to do was work
out the fine details for the wedding.

He was roused from his thoughts when
Marissa’s hands went up around his body.

She stood behind him, and Travis placed his
hands on hers. “Sleep well?”

“Best for ages.” Marissa twisted around to
face him, then brushed her lips lightly across Travis’.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, he
could feel the tension. Her muscles were all twisted up.

“A spa,” he told her, “would make a world
of difference.”

When Marissa walked into the bathroom, she
could hardly see through the steam. Travis had forgotten to turn on the exhaust
fan.

He added something to the water apparently;
bubbles were floating on top.

She breathed deeply. The fragrance filled
her nostrils, filled her whole being. What was it? Lavender? No, not lavender,
geranium, that’s what it was – the fragrance of beautiful flowers.

Marissa removed her clothes and carefully
folded them, placing them on the bathroom stool. She then removed her jewelry
and sat it on top of the clothing.

She checked the water temperature with her
foot, and then climbed in, gradually moving down under the water until her
entire body was submersed.

Marissa sighed. The water eased her tired
muscles, and helped her to relax. Travis had set the switch so that tiny
streams of water pushed against her, gently pummeling her arms, her legs,
shoulders, her whole body in fact.

She leaned against the edge of the spa, molding
herself into it, and relaxed. Marissa closed her eyes. She listened to the soft
sound of the bubbles, and breathed once more, the fragrance of geranium.

She lifted her hand and let the water run
slowly through her fingers. It was soft, silky, and nice to touch. Marissa felt
like she was living a dream. This wasn’t happening, couldn’t be happening. The
events of the day hadn’t happened. How could she put Jeremy out of her mind,
out of her life, despite what Frank and Anne had said, had done?

She lifted her hand to her face, brushing
her fingers against her cheek. What made her think she could rid herself of the
pain, the sorrow, the emptiness that she had felt since Jeremy’s death?

But she had to do just that. She had to
start anew. Marissa had to live her life, she shouldn’t, couldn’t, just exist,
not if she wanted to keep her sanity.

If she wanted to keep Travis, she had to
move on.

***

Marissa took a deep breath.

She stood in her bra and panties. What
should she wear?

It was to be a small gathering. Just some
close friends and family. Travis had arranged everything – the food, the cake,
and the invitations. Everything.

He was an angel, an organized angel, unlike
herself – she couldn’t even organise herself to get her novel finished.

So, what should she wear? It wasn’t a
formal party; more a ‘meet the parents and friends’ get together.

Okay, so it was their engagement party.
Her
engagement party, and she didn’t
want to go.
There.
She’d finally
admitted it. She should have just told him.

Told him what? See, it’s like this, Travis.
I don’t want to go to our engagement party. I don’t want to meet your parents,
and don’t want you to meet mine.

Sure – that would go down well.

Maybe the truth would be better – I don’t
want to face everyone knowing they could be thinking: how could she do this so
soon after Jeremy’s death.

Marissa couldn’t breathe, her chest was
tight, she couldn’t think straight, and she definitely couldn’t breathe. She
would probably die because of it. Okay, she admitted, she was panicking.

She leaned forward and put her hands on her
knees, taking tiny breaths, trying to take in some oxygen.

Now she was hyperventilating. Great!