A Beautiful Mess (20 page)

Getting my purse from the front hall, I walked back into the living room with the ultrasound and handed it to dad. He took it from me and looked down and just started crying. Before I knew it Jason and I were tearing up as well as we all stared at the picture of the little peanut growing inside of me.

The rest of the weekend went by faster than expected. We spent our time pulling out all of my baby clothes and looking through photo albums as dad told us stories about me when I was little. We also visited mom’s grave where I told her that I was going to have a baby and that she better look over our little one.

As much as I didn’t want to leave, it was already Sunday but as we were leaving my dad’s house I stopped on our walk to the car. Jason turned and tilted his head to the side because he didn’t understand why I stopped.

Looking up at him I asked, “What did you ask my dad on the phone when you first talked to him?”

Kissing me on the cheek, he looked into my eyes and said, “I’ll tell you someday, I promise.”

I couldn’t believe how fast the summer had gone and that we were all three weeks into our senior year of college. It was crazy that by the time we all graduated Ashlynn and I would have a child. We found out that Ash was expected to deliver March 23
^rd
.We calculated it when we got home that night and realized I got pregnant the first time Jason and I made love in the beginning of June. Ash started showing a little bit but it wasn’t enough that our friends would realize she was having a baby.

I was still pretty adamant that we were having a little boy, but it didn’t matter to me as long as the baby and Ash were healthy. That was all that mattered in the end. I just had a feeling and every time I rubbed her belly I said, “Little man.,” She would laugh and shake her head saying, “Or little girl.”

A part of me kind of hoped we were having a boy because I knew that we would be in trouble when our little girl got older. With Ashlynn’s looks I knew without a doubt in my body I would have to deal with a bunch of little assholes and I wasn’t ready for that. But today we were finally going to find out whether we were having a little girl or a little boy. The anticipation over this moment was driving me nuts and I knew I was driving Ashlynn nuts as well.

Pulling into the parking lot of the doctor’s office I opened Ash’s door and held her hand as we walked into the building. Before walking into the office I stopped and kissed Ash on the lips. “This is it.”

Smiling up at me she nodded and said, “Yeah, it is.”

Giving our names we sat in the waiting room filled with anticipation to find out the gender of our little one. A nurse came out and asked, “Ashlynn Miller?”

We both jumped up and followed her into a room and then waited for the doctor to come in. I lifted Ash onto the table and she just laughed at me and said, “I’m fine Jason,” then kissed me on the lips.

Bouncing my knee up and down I heard Ashlynn say, “Calm down Jason.”

I looked over at her and said, “I’m just really excit-,” but was cut off when the doctor walked in and asked, “How are you feeling Ashlynn?”

She started rubbing her stomach and said, “Fine, just get this one over here out of his misery and tell us what we’re having, please.”

The doctor looked over at me and said, “Excited, Jason?”

Standing up and taking Ash’s hand in mine I said, “Understatement of the year.”

Turning on the machine the doctor said, “Alright Ashlynn, you know the drill.”

Ash laid back on the table and pulled up her shirt showing off her little belly. After the doctor applied the gel and smoothed it out over Ash’s stomach she picked up the wand and began to move it around.

My heart was beating so fast and then the doctor pointed to the screen and said, “Congratulations, you guys are the proud parents of a little boy.”

I wanted to jump up and down yelling, “FUCK YEAH I KNEW IT!” Instead I looked over to Ash and winked at her while she shook her head. I leaned in to kiss her but the doctor said, “Wait; just a minute.”

I stopped and looked over. “Is everything okay?”

The doctor let out a laugh and said, “Yeah, everything’s fine but you’re having a girl.”

Ashlynn looked over at me and said, “That’s what I’m talking about.”

That’s when the doctor started waving her hand and said, “No. I mean you’re having a little girl as well.” I looked over at Ash and her eyes were huge.

Turning towards the doctor we both talked over one another with Ash asking, “Come again?” and me asking, “I’m sorry but what did you just say?”

The doctor turned to the both of us and said, “You’re having a boy and a girl.”

I still couldn’t believe it so I asked, “We’re having a twins?”

The doctor just laughed and said, “Yeah, that’s what it’s called when someone has two babies at the same time. Triplets are when someone has three.”

I looked over to Ashlynn and just started laughing saying, “Wow, when we mess up,
we mess up
.” I tried to calm my laughter to look over at Ash but she still had this stunned look on her face.

Biting my laughter I asked, “Ash?”

That’s when she turned to me and threw her head back and laughed.

Controlling our laughter I leaned in and said, “I love you so much, Ash.”

Cradling my face in her hands she said, “I love you too, Jason.”

Upon kissing her we both turned to the doctor who was staring at us, probably thinking
These two are going to be parents? That’s a little frightening.

After getting our pictures from the ultrasound I drove us back to my apartment. I was so excited that we could finally tell all of our friends. Sarah, Gabe, Maddox, Isabelle, Patrick, and for some dumbass reason, Ashlynn wanted to invite Derrick. I didn’t put too much of a fight into it because I wanted Ash to be happy and plus, he seemed like an okay guy if I didn’t include the fact that he’d touched her and probably kissed her. Jade and Neil would be at the party as well. They already knew about the pregnancy but they didn’t about the gender, or genders. We decided we were going to throw a party to celebrate that we were all seniors, but little did they know that both Ashlynn and I had a little surprise on our hands
. Or should I say little surprises?

Everybody already knew about the party because we wanted to hold it the day we found out about the gender of our child. We also wanted to wait to get the okay from the doctor to start telling people in case something happened. We decided for the party to just be casual so while Ashlynn took a nap in my room I cleaned up the house, ordered and picked up pizzas. I also made a run to the liquor store, picking up beer and champagne for the news, and stopped at the grocery store to pick up some more ginger ale for Ash as well as sparkling cider.

By the time I got back from running the errands Ash was waking up and walking out into the living room. As she was stretching her t-shirt rolled up and I caught a glimpse of her little belly.

Yawning she looked at me and asked, “What’s that look for?”

Placing the pizzas on the counter I walked over to her. “You think we have time before everybody starts showing up for the party?”

Lifting her into my arms she giggled. Wrapping her legs around me she whispered, “We have all the time in the world,” before capturing her mouth with mine.

As soon as everyone arrived we started hanging out and having a good time. Joking around and talking about what we did over the summer. How classes were going and how we just couldn’t wait to graduate this year. We had music playing and the drinks were flowing as we munched on chips and ate pizza. It was an all around good time but I couldn’t wait to tell everyone our great news.

Halfway through the night I said, “Alright everyone, go sit down in the living room. Ash and I have something to tell you.” I looked over at Jade and saw a little smile creep onto her face. I just couldn’t wait to see her face when I told we were having twins.

With drinks and pizza in hand everyone gathered in the living room and waited for Ashlynn and I to share our news. Once everyone sat down Ash and I looked at one another and smiled. We looked out at everyone and then Sarah said, “I’m going crazy; just tell us already! The anticipation is killing me.”

Everyone started laughing and as soon as the laughter died down I screamed, “ASH IS PREGNANT!”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many mouths fall open and eyes get wide in one place but it scared the shit out of me. All the girls started screaming for joy and the guys said, “Congrats,” but I put my hand up and said, “That’s not the best part.”

Jade looked between Ash and I and asked, “What is the best part?”

I looked over at Ashlynn and she looked out at everyone.

With a big smile on her face she said, “We’re having a boy.” Pausing for a second she said, “And a girl.”

Everyone was loud but then Jade jumped up and said, “Well shit motherfuckers! When you guys go big you seriously go big.”

All of the girls, as well as Patrick, ran over to Ashlynn to touch her stomach while the guys walked over to me and shook my hand or patted me on the back. Honestly I tried to stay in the conversation they were having but I couldn’t keep my eyes off Ashlynn. She really was something and she wore that pregnancy glow well. She was rubbing her stomach and laughing at everything Jade, Isabelle, Sarah, and Patrick had to say.

A little while later as I was showing everyone the pictures of the sonograms the telephone rang. Ash was closest to it so she answered the phone and her facial expression changed within an instant. She went from smiling to turning as pale as a ghost and her eyes bugged out of her head. Not taking my eyes off her I said, “Quiet guys, Ash is on the phone.”

I heard her say, “Okay, bye.”

Walking over to her I put my hands on her shoulders and she said, “Jason.” Turning her head to search out Jade she said, “Jade. Your dad was just admitted into the hospital and they don’t know how long he has.”

Turning towards Jade she had tears in her eyes and I didn’t even have to tell everyone the party was over. Everyone gave us hugs and said they would be here for us when we got back.

Once everyone left Ashlynn, Jade, Neil, and I got into the car and drove to the hospital. Over the last two months Neil and Jade had formed a friendship and I knew she needed someone to lean on during this time at the hospital so I asked him if he would come with us. I didn’t really have to twist his arm too much because he said, “Yeah, I’ll drive.”

Walking into the hospital I felt dread come over me. I honestly didn’t understand why I was here except for the sole fact that Jade wanted to be here. We walked up to the receptionist’s desk and the lady sitting there and asked, “How can I help you?”

Letting out a breath I said, “We’re here to see Benjamin Williams.”

Looking at her computer she typed in a few things and said, “He’s in room 312.”

Pointing behind us she said, “Take the elevator to the third floor and you will find it with no problem.”

Nodding my head I said, “Thank you.”

We all turned around and walked over to the elevator. Once it opened I pressed the button for the third floor and the doors closed behind us. Ashlynn moved closer to me and wrapped her hand in mine. I looked over at her and she gave a small smile in reassurance. She was letting me know that she was here for me. I then looked over towards Jade and saw that Neil had an arm over her whispering things into her ear and I was happy that someone was comforting my sister.

When the elevator doors opened to the third floor we turned left and walked to room 312. I put my hand to the knob and could feel my hand shaking. Taking a step back I said, “I can’t do this,” and let go of Ash’s hand and went to sit in the waiting room.

What was I supposed to say someone who beat the shit out of me when I was little and messed up mine and Jade’s adult lives? I had no fucking clue. I didn’t even know where to start and the man was dying literally ten feet away from me.

I heard Ash say something to Neil and Jade. Once they opened the door and walked into the room she turned and walked straight towards me. Sitting down in a chair next to me she took my hand in hers and started rubbing her thumb back and forth. I was so ashamed and looking at the floor I spoke to her, “I can’t do this Ash.”

Placing a hand on the side of my face she turned my head so I was looking at her. Tears started pouring from my eyes and she got up from her chair and sat down on my lap. I buried my face in her neck and sobbed while she rubbed up and down my back and whispered in my ear. She told me that it was okay to cry and how much she loved me.

Gathering myself I looked up at her and said, “I love you so much, Ashlynn.”

She kissed me on the cheek and said, “I know Jason.”

Standing from my lap she sat back down in the chair and looked towards my dad’s room and started talking. “That man messed up yours and Jade’s childhoods beyond repair and you both are here at the hospital while he is dying. The both of you are such strong people and I am proud to say that Jade is my best friend.”

Turning to me she placed a hand to her stomach and said, “And I have no words to describe the adoration, respect, and love I feel for you Jason Williams. I’m left speechless. Whatever choice you make I will stand by you and respect it … but I do think you need closure. I don’t want you going through life thinking about the what-if’s, if you don’t walk in that room and confront him or tell him how you feel.” Pointing back to room 312 she said, “And you don’t have much time for finding that closure.”