Yolo (30 page)

SnowAngel:

if I depledge, what wld happen? wld the Zetas stop talking to me? wld I be lonely? wld I regret it?

SnowAngel:

I kind of haven't gotten to know the girls in my own dorm very well. Lucy and Jermaine, they're basically the only ppl I know.

zoegirl:

ok. and the cons?

zoegirl:

(although if the girls who are supposed to be your “sisters” would stop talking to you just because you depledged, then I'm not sure that's any sort of real sisterhood . . .)

SnowAngel:

sigh. I know, and that's one of the cons—the fact that I don't TOTALLY feel like I am a Zeta.

SnowAngel:

let's see. other cons wld be the chapter meetings, which are mind-numbingly boring, and the focus on always looking perfect. and the hazing, whether it really was hazing or not. like, wld I have to be a part of that next year, with the new pledges?

SnowAngel:

I'm also not a huge fan of the way the frat guys treat us. not ALL of them. but that story, which might have been an urban legend, about frat boys getting girls drunk and having sex with them? it's just so awful!

zoegirl:

I am so with you there. makes me sick.

SnowAngel:

that kind of stuff doesn't happen at UGA, but the frat guys *do* make lewd comments sometimes. they *do* act, like, entitled sometimes. this one guy got mad at Anna when she wldn't fool around with him, for example. it was at a party hosted by one of the fraternities, and the guy was all, “you're getting free beer. what am *I* getting?”

zoegirl:

that just pisses me off, Angela. doesn't it piss you off?

SnowAngel:

yes! THE JERKY FRAT BOYS ARE TOTAL JERKS!

SnowAngel:

but jerky boys are jerky boys whether they're in frats or not. plus, this is UGA, not a smarty-pants liberal school like Kenyon. people here still use “gay” as an insult. can you believe that?

zoegirl:

ugh, and yes, and ugh again. I'm sorry, Angela.

SnowAngel:

so it's just a lot to think about. if I can be me AND be a Zeta, then yay, and yes.

SnowAngel:

but if being part of the Greek system means buying into the hive mentality, then no thank you. I wld like to think for myself, please, and I don't want anyone giving me a hard time for it.

zoegirl:

so . . . ?

SnowAngel:

so here's what I've decided: I'm bringing Reid to the Halloween party at the Delta house, and if any of the Zetas give me a hard time—OR give him a hard time—then that's it. I'm out.

zoegirl:

meaning you'll depledge?

SnowAngel:

yep. because we're all humans and we shld be nice to each other, end of story.

zoegirl:

agreed. and I do hear you about the good parts of being part of a community, etc.

SnowAngel:

thx. I don't think Maddie does.

zoegirl:

well, it's complicated.

zoegirl:

I'm super proud of you for being willing to stand up for Reid, but I hope it doesn't come to that.

SnowAngel:

me too!

SnowAngel:

I'm dashing to class—class on Halloween? what is wrong with these ppl?—and then with party prep and everything, I'm going to be busy as a
, so I wanted to say “boo” while I cld.

SnowAngel:

BOO!

SnowAngel:

have SO MUCH fun tonight, both of you.

SnowAngel:

Zoe, be bold and look for someone new to have a crush on. it's time. (or just have fun with Holly and Gannon. that's cool too.)

SnowAngel:

and Maddie? no dates with Netflix. NOT ALLOWED, unless you invite a whole bunch of peeps over to watch scary movies.

SnowAngel:

as for me, I'll be terrifying everyone in my sexy princess-of-the-undead outfit. Reid is going as a knight in rusting armor. we will be adorable.

SnowAngel:

I hope and assume that all will go well at the mixer and that it will be la la la, candy and beer and good times.

SnowAngel:

but if it's not . . .

SnowAngel:

if anyone is rude to Reid, then that's it, I'm done, and adios, Zetas.

SnowAngel:

send good thoughts my way!

mad maddie:

hello, Zoe. I have a floppy toenail that is diverting all my attn right now, I'm sorry to say.

zoegirl:

oh dear. that gives me a deep sad.

zoegirl:

but here's a deep happy: Angela and Lucy got Jermaine hooked up with a Lutheran church, and the church people are going to help him find low-income housing.

zoegirl:

she said it was your idea, so yay!

zoegirl:

she posted a picture of the three of them on FB, but since you deleted your account . . .

zoegirl:

did you get?

mad maddie:

whoa

mad maddie:

he's, like, a hillbilly. an aging good ol' boy with a scraggly white beard.

mad maddie:

for some reason I expected him to be black.

zoegirl:

racist

zoegirl:

(except I did too, so . . .)

mad maddie:

they look happy. true happy, not fake-sorority-smile happy.

zoegirl:

I know—and no platinum blond waterfall hair!

zoegirl:

but what about you? are you true happy, fake happy, or none of the above?

mad maddie:

hmm. a mix?

mad maddie:

it's kind of embarrassing to admit, but being thousands of miles away from everyone is harder than I thought.

zoegirl:

Maddie!

zoegirl:

of course it's hard, and there's nothing embarrassing about saying so. AND PLUS I HAVE KNOWN FOR FIVE THOUSAND YEARS THAT YOU WEREN'T HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. so has Angela.

zoegirl:

how long have you been feeling this way? cuz you have had *some* good times, right?

mad maddie:

yeah, I guess

mad maddie:

but Zara and the Esbees . . .

mad maddie:

it's possible they're not as great as I've made them out to be.

zoegirl:

what do you mean?

mad maddie:

they're not awful or anything. they're just . . .

mad maddie:

honestly, they're just not Y'ALL.

mad maddie:

like, a few days ago, Zara made a comment about how her friends were her life, and it was clear she meant her Esbee friends, not me.

zoegirl:

oh, Mads!

mad maddie:

she caught herself right away and said, “my old friends AND my new friends, like you. it's just that I've known Neesa and Taylor and Erica forever. I'd throw myself in front of a train for them, you know?”

mad maddie:

and I do know, cuz I wld totally throw myself in front of a train for you and Angela . . . altho I'd hope it was a Lego train, or a Thomas the Tank Engine train.

zoegirl:

ha

mad maddie:

yeah, see? I can still be funny.

mad maddie:

but for the most part, I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

mad maddie:

ugh, that sounds so lame. anyway, moping is for wimps, as both you and Angela have pointed out.

zoegirl:

what? neither of us said that!

mad maddie:

anti-yolo, then. same thing.

mad maddie:

as for Zara and my other suitemates, they're fine.

mad maddie:

they're not evil. they're not fabulous. they're fine.

mad maddie:

I decided to stop trying to force it, that's all.

zoegirl:

so . . . you're not going out with them tonight?

mad maddie:

nope

zoegirl:

you're not staying in and doing nothing, though, are you?

mad maddie:

oh plz

mad maddie:

I'm going to the student center to hear a lecture that a famous doctor is giving. the write-up in the school paper said that his grandfather was a true mad scientist whose passion was trying to reanimate the dead, so it's perfect for Halloween.

zoegirl:

cool

mad maddie:

I think so. there'll be slides of corpses and abnormal brains and stuff like that.

mad maddie:

and before you ask, yes, I'm going by myself, but I'm going by myself BY CHOICE.

zoegirl:

isn't there anyone you could invite to go with you? other than Zara and her crowd?

mad maddie:

no. but you don't need to worry, k?

mad maddie:

are you still doing the zombie crawl with Gannon and Holly?

zoegirl:

yeah. I wish you could go with us!!!

mad maddie:

I'll be there in spirit.