Yolo (37 page)

zoegirl:

I'll take your dots anytime. are you doing any better?

mad maddie:

not really. I keep listening to Mumford and Sons and feeling depressed.

zoegirl:

I love Mumford and Sons.

mad maddie:

that line about dying alone? yep, that's me.

mad maddie:

I know I'm being melodramatic, but I can't help it. everything sucks.

zoegirl:

oh, Maddie.

zoegirl:

but the song isn't about dying alone. the song's about refusing to die alone.

mad maddie:

it is?

mad maddie:

no it's not.

zoegirl:

go check. look up the lyrics.

mad maddie:

oh

mad maddie:

huh

zoegirl:

and then later there's the part about no more tears and no more fears, and how everything will be ok.

mad maddie:

whoa. it's an amazing song—it's gorgeous—but how weird that I heard it so differently than you.

zoegirl:

well . . . you're depressed, like you said. even though you denied it two seconds later.

zoegirl:

but Angela and Ian and I *are* going to figure out a way to get you to Atlanta.

mad maddie:

don't say that. it's not going to happen, and it just makes me feel bad, like I'm this deadweight you have to carry.

zoegirl:

oh, hush

zoegirl:

anyway, you don't get a vote. we don't have quite enough money yet, but we're going to raise it somehow. I give you my word.

mad maddie:

hmmm. dubious. but sweet gesture, Zo.

zoegirl:

don't give up on us, and don't give up on you. promise?

mad maddie:

can't promise. but I'll try.

zoegirl:

that's my girl.

zoegirl:

SnowAngel:

we always had to.

zoegirl:

how are we going to raise the remaining $280???

SnowAngel:

by . . . doing something!

zoegirl:

yes, that's helpful. what sort of something?

SnowAngel:

a fundraiser? a Georgia/Ohio fundraiser for an excellent cause?

SnowAngel:

I can sell cupcakes on the quad. I'm sure Anna will help me, and I bet Lucy will too. altho I bet her cupcakes will be gross and filled with hemp seeds.

SnowAngel:

cld u do something like that too?

zoegirl:

I guess

zoegirl:

but $280 worth of cupcakes? in four days??? Maddie's last day of classes before break is this Friday, just like ours.

SnowAngel:

well, then snap to it!

SnowAngel:

call in all the troops u can think of: Holly, Gannon, whoever.

SnowAngel:

GO!

SnowAngel:

just txting to give u a status report. all ships ahoy, matey!

SnowAngel:

altho—shh—I don't actually know what that means. ahoy? what's ahoy?

SnowAngel:

but in this case, just know that we're going to make sure Project Save Maddie is a total winner!

SnowAngel:

a whopping $9.25. yes, u heard me. nine dollars and twenty-five measly cents!

zoegirl:

but . . . that's less than a dollar per cupcake!

SnowAngel:

I made a sign that said “Cupcakes for the Cause! Pay What You Can, All Contributions Welcome!”

SnowAngel:

which, in retrospect, was possibly not the best strategy with a bunch of poor college students.

zoegirl:

well, Gannon, Holly, and I sat at a table in the student center and sold poems for five bucks apiece. only we didn't sell a single one, so you did better than we did.

SnowAngel:

not a high demand for on-the-spot poems?

zoegirl:

unfathomable. I know.

zoegirl:

but guess who I saw? MY CREATIVE WRITING PROFESSOR.

SnowAngel:

the horrible professor?

SnowAngel:

the one who said, “hey, you! you don't get to be a creative writing major!” that one?

zoegirl:

yep. she saw Holly and Gannon and me, and I know she did because I SAW her see us. and then she spun around and headed the opposite way.

SnowAngel:

wow. great role model for being an adult.

zoegirl:

yep. and then a crazy urge came over me, cuz I was with Holly, who is fearless, and cuz I was thinking about Mads, who is fearless (or who is when she's in her natural state).

zoegirl:

I stood up and waved and said, “Professor Crawford! Professor Crawford!”

SnowAngel:

um . . . why?

zoegirl:

because you were right when you told me that my prof could tell me I couldn't take the next writing class but that she couldn't keep me from writing.

SnowAngel:

I told you that?

SnowAngel:

huh. that was so smart of me! and IT IS TRUE!

zoegirl:

so I decided to tell HER that, only when she got to our booth, I totally froze.

SnowAngel:

holy shitsnacks. eeeee! nervous!

zoegirl:

I know! and if Holly and Gannon hadn't been there, I'm sure I would have totally chickened out.

zoegirl:

they've been great, by the way. it could have been weird between us, since they get to take the next class and I don't. but it isn't, because we're not letting it be.

SnowAngel:

yay! happy! but I need to know WHAT HAPPENED.

SnowAngel:

she came to your booth. you froze. and . . . ?

zoegirl:

and she stared at me like, “Can you talk?”

zoegirl:

I couldn't, it seemed, and she started to walk away. then Holly elbowed me HARD, and I said, all shakily, “I just want you to know that I won't stop writing.”

SnowAngel:

Zoe!!! so proud!

SnowAngel:

what did your professor say????

zoegirl:

she got flustered. it was incredibly uncomfortable. finally she lifted her eyebrows and said, “Good.”

SnowAngel:

that's all? just “good”?

zoegirl:

and *then* she walked away.

zoegirl:

it's not as if Professor Crawford is ever going to be a big part of my life, and I know I don't need her approval, but I'm glad I did it.

SnowAngel:

hell yeah! you stood up for yourself!

zoegirl:

and saying it out loud—that I'm going to keep writing no matter what—made it so that I *have* to. I said I will, so I will.

SnowAngel:

like Maddie's yolo promise . . .

zoegirl:

exactly. but no sad face, because it's not over till it's over, right?

zoegirl:

and I do have another $50 for the fund. Gannon and Holly gave me $25 each.

SnowAngel:

awww, so sweet!

zoegirl:

I felt a little wrong accepting their money, but then I didn't.

SnowAngel:

Reid's going to chip in too.

SnowAngel:

we have good friends, don't we?

zoegirl:

we do. we're very lucky.

SnowAngel:

but our best friend is still in Santa Cruz in a closet somewhere. so back to it!