Worthy of Redemption (26 page)

“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded.

“Why delay the inevitable?” I snapped at him. “I’m going to Ohio – alone, and when I return I am moving the hell out of here. You can sit here in this big house alone with your drugs and your pictures.”

I tried to pull away from him, but he held fiercely to my upper arms.

“I’m not trying to hurt you,” he said harshly. “I’m trying to protect you and our baby. This is
killing
me.”

“It’s not killing you enough, or else you’d burn that fucking envelope without ever looking in it.”

“I can’t do that,” he said, grimacing.

“Then let. Me. Go.” I said through a clenched jaw.

“I’m going with you to Ohio,” he said with finality.

“I can’t stop you from getting on the airplane,” I said bitterly.

“And I’m staying with you,” he said, releasing me.

“I don’t want you there.” I took a few steps back from him.

“You will,” he said grimly and walked away from me.

~~~

Harry, one of Corsey’s men was waiting for us in the Escalade when we got downstairs. I climbed in first and slid all the way over to the other side. When Kyle got in and saw how far I had moved over, he gave me a look that said “Really?” but I ignored it.

“Harry, before you go to the airport,
drive us by the building site,” Kyle said.

“What building site?” I asked with suspicion. Surely it wasn’t the one that he supposedly went to before our trip. I was ninety-nine percent positive that he didn’t go to a
building site, but went to whom ever had access to those photographs. He and Marco had started building at a site in Delaware, but I didn’t think we were going there either.

Kyle looked at me with a bland expression but didn’t answer. I shook my head in disgust and looked out the window. I was lost in my own thoughts as we jumped onto the Ben Franklin Bridge and rolled into New Jersey. I was thinking less about my own problems and more about my mother, my sister, and the kids. If my mom died or needed care herself, who was going to help Lydia with the kids? I wasn’t sure if I was up
for the job. Even if mom was okay to care for herself, it wouldn’t be fair to put her in that stressful situation again. There were going to have to be changes and I wasn’t sure where I would come in, or what I was even willing to do for my estranged sister.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion as we sped by familiar scenery. As far as I knew, as Kyle’s personal assistant and office manager, he didn’t have any projects going on in this area of South Jersey. Then as the car slowed, I saw it. I couldn’t close my mouth if a hundred flies threatened to fly into it. When the Escalade ca
me to a stop, like a little kid I pressed my nose and hand to the window, staring, gawking. I heard Kyle get out, but I didn’t pay any attention to it until he was opening my door and catching me before I fell out. I stumbled out of the truck under his strong care and stared at the construction scene in front of me.

The
framework was almost complete. It was two stories high, with a decent size balcony on the second floor and spaces that looked like they were for French doors and floor to ceiling windows that made the outside area and inside flow well together. There was also a patio on the first floor and that, too flowed through holes in the wall that looked like they were meant for the double doors and enormous windows.

“What…when…”I couldn’t figure out what question to ask as I felt Kyle’s arm slip across my shoulders and he pulled me close.

“I bought the lot in December,” he said. “In February I bought the house that used to be behind it and had it demolished. We started building as soon as the weather was acceptable. Marco designed it. The designs for the inside are spectacular.”

I couldn’t stop looking at what was quickly becoming a bar – more than a bar – a destination for watching ball games, drinking, eating, and playing.

“It’s all yours, baby,” Kyle said softly, watching me for a reaction.

“What do you mean it’
s all mine? You barely liked me in December. Why would you do this for me?”

“I
loved
you in December. You deserve this.”

“You…saw Emmy in December?” I asked gingerly.

“No,” he frowned. “I saw Luke.”

“How did that go?”

“He went off,” Kyle shrugged. “Ranted and raved and shoved me around, but when it became clear to him he wasn’t getting a fight out of me, he calmed down and got down to business.”

“Oh…
you must be disappointed that he didn’t kick your ass.”

He frowned. “Yes, but I don’t want to discuss that. I want to know how you feel about this.”

There were too many conflicting emotions crackling through my chest right then. I was sad, angry, scared shitless, hopeful and hopeless, and grateful. I couldn’t cry, smile, laugh, scream, or swoon. I could only stand there, leaning on Kyle, and stare at the building before us. It was all too much – all of it – everything – my mom, my surprise pregnancy, Kyle, the bar.

“Thank you,” I managed thickly. “I wish I could say more, but I’m so…overwhelmed right now.”

“I know,” he said and kissed the top of my head. “I don’t have any control over what’s happening to your mom, but the rest is my fault. I thought maybe this would make you feel a little better. You’re getting your dream.”

“I would give this up just to have you,” I said, barely audible over the sounds of the workers and their machines.

Before he could answer, a familiar face in a hard hat approached us.

“You weren’t supposed to see this until the completion,” Marco scowled at Kyle before sweeping me into a hug that lifted me off of the ground.

“You’ve been keeping secrets,” I managed a smile for Marco once he put me down.

“
Siamo spiacenti, princess,” he apologized with a sexy smile. “I’ll make it up to you over lunch tomorrow.”

“Oh,” I said as my smile faded
. “I’m sorry. I can’t. My mother is ill. We’re on our way to the airport now.”

Marco frowned, but looked at my sympathetically. “I hope she gets better soon. You look like you could use some rest yourself.”

I wished then that I had grabbed my sunglasses to hide my red and puffy eyes. I knew I probably looked like shit since I hadn’t slept in twenty-four hours and I had cried all morning.

“We have to go,” Kyle said as he started to steer me away from Marco.

“I’m glad you were a part of this,” I said to him, finding another smile for him.

He gave a shrug. “I thought it would be great way to sneak into your good graces in the event that Sterling screws up.”

His innocent remark was meant as a joke, but he had no idea that it would poke at currently weeping wounds when he said it. Kyle and I both frowned. I looked at the ground and Kyle looked somewhere to the right.

“What the fuck did you do?” Marco said, poking Kyle’s chest.

Kyle scowled at him now. “I suggest that you not provoke me right now, Mangini,” he said in a tone that meant business. I didn’t think Marco was afraid of Kyle, but he backed off after a moment anyway.

“You call me if you need me – for anything,” Marco said to me.

I nodded and he leaned and gave me a lingering kiss on the cheek. Kyle ushered me back into the Escalade. Instead of walking back around to the other side, he made me slide over, but when he got in he didn’t let me slide away from him. As if I were a child, he buckled me into the middle seat. He was very quiet for the first few minutes back on the road. When he finally spoke, it was in a clipped tone.

“You smiled for Marco,” he said, staring out the window.

“He hasn’t given me a reason to do otherwise,” I answered in an equally icy tone.

“I understand that you two get along well and that you have met him for a lunch a few times, but is that all?”

“What do you mean is that all?” I asked, irritated by what I recognized as an interrogation. “You would know if that was all – you’re the one that assigns me a Lily-sitter every time I step out of your sight.”

His dark eyes settled on me. “Do you speak often?”

“What do you think?” I growled.

“I think deciding not to occasionally check your phone was a bad decision on my part,” he said sharply.

“And you won’t start checking my phone either. Besides, by your estimation, we won’t be together very long anyway – if you want to call this being together – and you won’t need to check up on me at all.”

“Regardless of what happens between us, as long as we are connected…” he placed his hand over my lower belly. “I will always ‘
checkup’ on you, Lily.”

I pushed his hand off of me, disgusted. “If you must know, I talk to Marco regularly. We text almost daily and I talk to him on the phone at least once a week. Do you feel better knowing that information now?” I asked roughly.

“No,” he growled. “It pisses me off. Neither of you mentioned your secret relationship until now.”

“It’s no secret, you ass. I don’t need to know every time that
you
talk to him.”

“I would never cheat on you with him,” he said dryly.

“Wow,” I said with a cynical laugh. I threw my head back against the headrest and stared at the ceiling. “Wow. Are you high
now
?” I looked at him.

“No!” he
barked.

“Are you sure? Because you’re being so…crazy. You are
all over
the place today, Kyle. You know, when you finally cut me loose, make sure it’s a clean cut because I can’t deal with your insane mood swings.”

He started to speak, but I cut him off.

“No! Don’t speak. Almost everything that has come out of that stupid mouth of yours has somehow conflicted with the previous stupid thing you’ve said. Just stop talking. I don’t want to hear your voice until we land in Ohio. Then I want you to get back on the next flight back to Philly. Look at your pictures, check my phone records, take a hit of meth – do whatever makes you happy and leave me out of it.”

“You
are
what makes me hap-”

“I said hush!” I unbuckled my seatbelt and moved over to the other side where I buckled myself in again.

Kyle didn’t speak again for the rest of the ride to the airport, but he didn’t take his eyes off of me either.

~~~

As soon as we deplaned, I was on my dying phone calling Lydia to let her know I was in Columbus and to see if she had heard anything.

“She’s stable,” she said and then I heard muffled yelling at a child.

I breathed a sigh of relief and got the necessary information from her so I could go directly to the hospital.

“You sound like shit,” she said before I could end the call.

I paused before answering her. This wasn’t how I envisioned our first real conversation beginning. “I feel like shit,” I assured her.

“I will feel better about myself if you also
look
like shit.”

I couldn’t stop the small smile from popping up on my face. “I promise you, Lydia, you will feel extremely good about yourself.”

There was a few seconds of thoughtful silence. “I hope so. I found a babysitter. I’m going to get a cab and go to the hospital in a little while. I’ll see you there.”

“Okay,” I said and ended the call.

Kyle heard the whole conversation with his super human hearing, and plus he was hovering over me so closely I couldn’t exhale without part of my body touching his.

“Why is she taking a cab?”

Annoyed with his presence, I answered quickly as I moved through the airport. “She hasn’t driven a car since Gavin died. She couldn’t at first – her leg was badly mangled in the accident, but now she’s afraid to. She was driving when the accident happened and she blames herself. So, now she doesn’t drive.”

“You know a lot for a sister you haven’t spoken to in years,” Kyle said.

“My mother talks about her whether I want to hear about her or not. The ticket counter is
that
way,” I pointed without looking at him.

“I’m staying with you, little bully,” he grumbled and took my bag away from me.

I didn’t feel like arguing with him anymore and allowed him to take my hand. He lead me outside to a waiting Escalade.

“You really like your Escalades,” I muttered before climbing inside.

We had to stop once on the side of the road when my stomach suddenly flipped. Kyle watched with worried eyes as I puked up yet another snack that I had on the plane.

“You really need to see a doctor,” he said. “This can’t be normal.”

“It’s
your
baby,” I said icily once we were moving again. “There’s nothing normal about it.”

When we arrived at the hospital, I practically ran to my mom’s room in the Intensive Care Unit.

“I have to die twice to get my first born to visit me,” were my mother’s first words when I appeared at her side.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” I cried as I took hold of her cold hand. “I’m so sorry.”