Worthy of Redemption (23 page)

“Why don’t you go finish packing,” I suggested after I had made her lips swollen with my mouth. “I have to go check out a piece of property in Jersey.”

“I can go with you,” she said, frowning.

“No, it’s okay. It will be boring for you. I’ll go while you wrap things up here. By the time I get back it will be time to leave for our flight.”

“Okay,” she sighed and got to her feet. “See you in a little bit,” she said as she walked towards the door.

I got up and adjusted my erection, which Lily looked at with a cocked eyebrow. Ignoring her so that I didn’t take her right there on the floor, I said “I’ll be back soon.”

She gave me a sexy smile and disappeared down the hall. I shut my laptop down, grabbed the Larkin folder and left the office. Lily was already upstairs, blasting some hard rock band from her stereo. I hurried out to go take care of business.

~~~

The house sat back off of the road, partially hidden by clusters of trees. It looked like any other farmhouse in Vineland, but I knew what was behind the walls of this house.

I got out of my car, walked up the front stairs onto the porch and hit the button for the doorbell. I heard it echo throughout the house, but after a half a minute of waiting, no one came. I hit it twice again, refusing to be sent away by silence, and waited in the cool May morning air. A moment later I heard footsteps hurrying from the back of the house. The door opened and Ben Larkin stared at me from the other side.

“You must be really desperate for something if you’ve come out of your way looking for me,” he said as a greeting. He stood back and waved me inside.

I stepped inside and took in the space around me. The place was well furnished, but the furniture was cheap – at least by Larkin’s standards – easily replaced pieces. When you practice medicine below the radar of the law, you can’t worry about leaving behind items that have an emotional connection. He probably took on the furniture of the last owner or got almost all of it, including phony family photos, from yard sales and thrift shops. Ben Larkin didn’t work for nothing, though. He had properties in Mexico, Costa Rica, France, and other countries where he would go for rest and relaxation – or retreat if the government was on his ass.

“You have something I need,” I said, finally looking at him.

His dark hair was sprinkled with gray hairs and he had a few fine lines around his brown eyes, but he was otherwise still youthful in appearance. He was twenty-five years older than me, but he could have passed as my older brother.

“Don’t tell me this is about
money,” he said with a humorless laugh.

“I will never have any use for any of your money,” I scowled.

“Well, don’t leave me in suspense,” he said sarcastically. “I have a client waiting downstairs.”

“They can wait a while longer,” I said. “Three years ago Walter sent a woman to you.”

He nodded as if he understood what I was talking about. “Yeah, I saw you that day, too. You were fucked out of your mind.”

My brow lowered in confusion. “I don’t remember that.”

“No, I just said you were fucked out of your mind,” he said, shaking his head.

“What…what was the treatment?”

“You were at the estate,” he said as he walked towards the kitchen. He gestured for me to follow. He immediately found a bottle of bourbon and poured a glass. He wordlessly offered me one, but I declined with a shake of my head.

“Go on with your story,” I commanded.

“You were at the estate, like I said,” he said unaffected by my demeanor. “You were out of your mind – yelling and speaking incoherently. Walter wanted you sedated for the ride to rehab. I also took care of some minor injuries you had on your hands.”

“You drugged me?” I asked in astonishment as I looked at my knuckles. I remembered the broken skin and bruises clearly.

“It was for your own good, but before you I saw the woman.”

I looked up at him. “How bad was she?” I asked, just above a whisper.

He looked at me with questioning eyes, tilted his head. “Did you do that to her?”

“How bad was it?” I repeated through clenched teeth.

He looked at me as if he was thinking about whether or not he should tell me. He swallowed his bourbon and poured another glass.

“She was bruised, head to toe. She had glass in her hair – lodged in her scalp. Her face was terribly bruised,
looked like someone had kicked her right in her cheek,” he touched his own cheek. “Her back was bruised pretty damn bad. I’m guessing she curled into a ball to block your blows from hitting the baby.”

“I didn’t say it was me,” I said, shamefully hearing my voice crack as I spoke.

“You didn’t have to. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t you. Did I give you what you needed?”

I swallowed hard. I felt as if all of the wind had been knocked out of me and I
knew that I had not really experienced the worst of it. It took every bit of strength I had not to let my legs give out under me.

“What about her…her belly?” I asked.

Ben poured bourbon into a second glass and again offered it to me.

“Take it,” he commanded when I again declined.

I took the glass and swallowed the amber liquid, feeling the burn all the way into my gut.

“What about her belly?” I asked again after the drink.

He sighed before answering. “She was bruised
all
over, Kyle, but when I did an ultra sound the baby was fine.”

Imagining Emmy in a ball trying to protect her baby from me made me feel like I didn’t deserve to live and I didn’t deserve the woman waiting for me at home.

“I need to see the pictures and video,” I managed to say without falling apart.

“What makes you think I have any of that?” he asked with narrowed eyes.

“A man in your position has to protect yourself. You get a lot of big name people under your care. If you get thrown under a bus, you’re not going alone.”

His mouth formed a fine line as he walked over to a door in the hall between the living room and kitchen. He opened the door, looked down and listened carefully for a few seconds before quietly closing it again. When he spoke again, it was just above a whisper.

“Why should I do this for you?”

“Because I’ve never asked you for a damn thing my entire life,” I snapped. “Because you used to pat my head after fixing my mother from whatever suicide attempt she chose, but you never stepped in where it counted – for
me
.”

I got in his face and grabbed onto the collar of his shirt.

“And because I know enough about you to bring you down wherever you go. There will never be a hiding place for you if you screw me over, Ben.”

I released him. He seemed unfazed by what just happened, but I knew I had him. He knew I had him, too.

“I don’t keep that kind of information with me. I need a week or so to get it, copy it and get it to you.”

“I’m going to send a couple of my friends to help you and to make sure you don’t take off before you give me what I need,” I said, glaring at him. “You have one week to get this done.”

I pulled a business card out of my wallet with my cell phone number written on the back. “Call me when it’s ready.”

I turned away from him and walked back through the living room to the front door.

“I don’t think this is going to be good for you,” Larkin said from the porch as I walked to my car.

“You’re not an authority on what’s good for me. Our common DNA means nothing.”

I got into my car and left my biological father standing on his porch.

Kyle came back from New Jersey a different person. He smiled at me, he kissed me, and he talked as if everything was normal, but it wasn’t. There was great sadness behind the smiles, in the kiss, and pulling on the edges of our conversations. I knew something was wrong, but because I didn’t even know where to begin and he was trying so hard to keep things level, I didn’t mention it.

On the flight to L.A., I popped in headphones, opened my book and left Kyle to his thoughts. Every now and then he would touch me, stroke my cheek, squeeze my hand, caress my thigh, but even those actions seemed…sad.

In L.A. we ate a leisurely late lunch and entertained each other with trivia from a book I picked up in a bookstore. Kyle laughed. Kyle teased me. Kyle turned me on. But Kyle wasn’t Kyle, and I couldn’t figure out why.

Almost a whole damn day later we finally reached our bungalow over the water in Bora Bora. It was near dark, but I was able to see how beautiful it was. Exhausted, we showered together and fell into our bed that had a clear view of the sparkling sea.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” I murmured into his neck as he held me close.

“Like I said before, you deserve it,” he said, caressing my arm. He meant what he said, I know, but…he meant it
too
much.

I maneuvered my body onto his and kissed him. It was a good kiss, but it wasn’t my Kyle.

I reached under his shirt as I kissed him, feeling his rippled abdomen and smoothed my hands over his muscular chest. I pulled my lips away from his and nipped at his chest before forcing him to pull his shirt off. Repeatedly, I sunk my teeth into his chest and abs and made him hiss slightly with each nibble. When I reached his pelvic bone, I ran my tongue along that V shaped part of his body that seemed to be pointing to heaven under his boxers. My fingers hooked in his boxer briefs and pulled until his erection sprung free.

Unable to wait until I got his briefs off all the way, I took the large bulbous tip of his cock into my mouth and groaned when I tasted the pre-cum there. Kyle groaned and gently raised his hips to press more of his cock into my mouth. I granted his wish and met his gentle thrust.

“Ahh,” he breathed as his cock moved past my tonsils and down my throat. “Lily…” he groaned my name after I pulled back and then took him all the way again.

The only way I could think to bring him back to me was to bring him to the brink of losing his sanity while he was inside of me. I held him deep in my throat and sucked as hard as I could, and used all of the muscles in my mouth and throat.

“Baby, stop or I’m going to come,” he groaned as he tried to pull out of my mouth. “Lily! No!”

He grabbed the hair at the back of my head and violently pulled me away from his cock.

“What the hell?” he panted, staring down at me.

Ignoring him, I forced him to release my hair when I got on my knees to pull off my shirt. I climbed on top of him and kissed him again, lacing my fingers behind his head to deepen the kiss and hold him where I wanted him. I kissed him with a ferociousness I’ve never exhibited with him before – biting, sucking, licking, and more biting until –

Kyle pushed me away and said my name with such shock, it was almost funny. Almost, but not really. I had bitten him. Hard. On the tongue. I drew blood.

“What the hell is going on with you?” he asked before hanging off the side of the bed to spit red onto the floor.

“What the hell is going on with
you
?” I asked.

He sat up and looked at me. “What are you talking about?”

He wasn’t going to concede that the problem wasn’t me biting him, but it was his behavior that sparked the biting. It was our first night in paradise and it was already ruined. Between Kyle not being Kyle and my cannibalism, the whole damn week was well on its way to being ruined.

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to cover the quavering in my voice. “I guess I’m just super excited to be here.”

I got out of the bed, rushed into the bathroom and shut and locked the door. I put the lid down on the toilet and sat down.

“Lily, what’s going on?” Kyle asked from the other side of the door.

“Nothing. I have to pee,” I said and then silently cursed myself for letting my voice crack.

“Baby, open the door,” Kyle said softly.

“My god, Kyle!” I shouted. “Can I please pee in peace! I’ve used public piss rooms all day. I would like to just pee in peace once before I go to sleep for the night!”

There was a moment of silence from the other side, and then finally I heard a loud sigh from him. “Fine. Pee in peace then.”

I heard his footsteps retreat and breathed a sigh of relief. After a minute or so, I flushed the toilet and turned the sink on. I stepped back out into the bedroom a few seconds later. I climbed into bed beside Kyle, but I didn’t move to him like I normally would.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” he asked.

“I…” I hesitated. He wasn’t going to stop asking, but if he did then he’d just be pissed. More pissed. “I just need you here with me,” I said softly in the dark.

“What? I
am
here with you. I’m right next to you.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” I snapped. “I need
all
of you here with me. You haven’t been yourself since you came back from Jersey. You do all of the things that Kyle does, but you’re not him. I’d prefer you to be a dick than to pretend to be here when you’re not.”

He was very quiet for a long time. I thought he had fallen asleep, so with a sigh, I rolled onto my side to try to force my racing mind to go to sleep. Kyle shifted behind me and then I felt his arm around my waist and his breath on my neck.

“I’m here,” he whispered.

“Are you sure?” I asked after a moment.

“I promise.”

“What is
wrong
?” My question was a plea.

“Lily, I’m here – with you, so nothing is wrong.”

When I didn’t respond, he rolled me onto my back. By the light of the moon I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he wrapped my hair around his hand.

“I’m here,” he said again before kissing me deeply.

Kyle’s hands roamed over my bare skin and dipped into my panties. I moaned into his mouth when his fingers traced over my clit. He pressed down with the palm of his hand. My automatic response was to rock against his skilled hand. The pressure on my clit increased every time I brought my hips up. Soon, I was groaning out my orgasm into his mouth.

He rolled over onto his back, pulling me on top of him. He used one hand to push my panties aside and the other to guide his erection to my entrance. With just the head of his cock inside of me, he placed both hands on my hips and without warning pushed himself inside of me while
pushing my hips down to meet his. I cried out as I felt the length of him so deep inside of me I thought it would tear me apart.

Kyle held onto me as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, forcing his cock deeper inside of me. I started to scream, but Kyle cut it off with his mouth.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he commanded.

“No,” I said, trying to pull away.

“Wrap your legs around me
now
,” he grunted as he thrust his cock inside of me harder than before.

I complied, wrapping my legs around his back. If I wasn’t already impaled on his manhood, I would have fallen over. The pain was exquisite, as his cock moved unbelievably deeper.

“Do you believe me now?” he panted as he hammered his dick into me. “Do you believe I’m here now, Lily? Can you
feel
me?” he groaned.

In response, my body began to shudder with my next orgasm.

“That’s it, Lily. Feel me,” Kyle moaned. “Feel…unhhh…” he groaned extremely loud. “Feel me inside of you, Lily,” he almost shouted just before I felt the first spurt of semen inside of me. “Feel that?” he grunted.

“Kyle!” I screamed his name as I came again. My tight muscles squeezed him even as he continued to pulsate inside of me.

“I love you,” he whispered before taking my mouth in a sexy kiss that had my pussy squeezing his cock a little more.

This was my Kyle. My Kyle was back, but the nagging question in the back of my head was…for how long?

~~~

After our long day of traveling, we decided to spend our first full day lounging on the beach. I was wrapped up in Kyle’s arms on a lounger built for two. The other Kyle, the man he was being yesterday, was still a no show, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on and he wasn’t telling me.

The day went smoothly. We were in and out of the water, and twice raced back to our bed for orgasmic activity. Later that evening, just after the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen, we went to dinner at a nearby restaurant. There were a lot of people there, mostly couples, but it still had a very pleasant and romantic ambiance.

We were just served our dinner when the man at the table closest to us proposed to his girlfriend. I couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, but I read his lips clearly when he asked “Will you marry me?” With a smile that was just as much of an answer as her words, she nodded and said yes. He wasn’t on one knee, and he didn’t seem to want to garner the attention of those around him. It was a sweet proposal, low key, but romantic. When they leaned across the table to kiss, I turned away.

I peeked at Kyle while I cut into my fish. His brow was slightly creased, as if he was thinking hard about something. Every now and then his eyes would flicker over to the newly engaged couple, but every time he looked back to his meal, his brow was more creased. I had a sneaky suspicion that other Kyle was back. My Kyle was good at harboring secrets from me and he always wore his game face. This Kyle was wearing his worries on his sleeve, which made me believe that whatever was going on with him was major and I would be just as much affected as him.

“I’m not asking for a proposal or anything,” I started slowly, gaging his cautious reaction. “But where do you think we will be five years from now?”

The lines in his head smoothed out. “I don’t know,” he said.

I stared at him. “You don’t have any thoughts on that at all?”

He stared back at me. “I’m not sure if this is the time and place to have this discussion,” he said dismissively.

I put my fork down. “We are on one of the most romantic islands in the world. We are surrounded by honeymooners and the recently engaged and you don’t think that this is a good time and place for this discussion?”

I wasn’t trying to start an argument or be a bitch, I really wasn’t. But his answer only confirmed what I had been thinking since yesterday, that something was wrong.

Kyle put his fork down, too, but I saw danger in his eyes. “I just want to enjoy my time here with you, Lily, without the added drama that follows us at home. Can we do that?”

“Talking about our future is considered drama?” I asked, trying to keep my anger under control.

He looked irritated by my words. “As I said a moment ago, it is not the time and place to have this conversation.”

I truly believed at that moment that the reason Kyle didn’t want to discuss our future was because he didn’t see one. It wasn’t one of those short sighted things either – I could deal with that. No, this was different. He didn’t see us together, probably not even in the near future. I know we never discussed our commitments to each other, but it was much implied. I never questioned whether or not he was in this for the long haul. I knew he was in love with me and that was all I needed to know, but now that wasn’t enough.

And why the hell had he brought me to this island if he couldn’t see a future? The realization hit me that maybe this was the calm before the breakup, that this trip was being used to soften an
impending blow.

Kyle had resumed eating his meal, but my appetite was gone, like my future with Kyle. I caught our waiter’s eye, bringing him to our table.

“I’ll have a Zombie,” I said. “And a shot of Patron.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the cute
Tahitian waiter said with a smile.

Kyle watched me with a guarded expression. Emmy used to drink herself into a stupor when she was with Kyle. Now I understood why.

“Don’t do this,” Kyle said quietly.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t try to drink away what you’re feeling,” he said.

I let out a humorous laugh. “I can’t talk about it. I can’t drink it away. I guess I should be you and let it eat away at me in silence.”

The waiter appeared a moment later with my drinks.

“Take them away,” Kyle commanded him.

The poor guy looked so startled. He looked at me for confirmation, but I tapped the table indicating I wanted him to put the drinks down.

“If those drinks touch the table I’ll kick your ass,” Kyle said calmly and quietly, but his eyes were hard and serious. He pulled out his wallet while the waiter stood there, confused and probably a little scared. Kyle threw down a small stack of cash. “We’re finished.”

He stood up and the waiter hastily retreated. Kyle stood beside me, offering his hand. I didn’t take his hand, but I got up and stormed out ahead of him. There were two ways back to our bungalow, a paved path and the beach. Most couples moved to the beach after dinner. It was a romantic way to unwind. Couples walked hand in hand with their shoes in their hands, or sat close on the beach talking or kissing, or other things, but there was no romance for me at the moment. I took the paved path at a record speed. Kyle kept pace behind me.