Worthy of Redemption (24 page)

I wished there was somewhere else for me to go, away from him, so that I wouldn’t kill him, but the island would basically be shutting down for the night. Couples were expected to be in their rooms canoodling, focusing on only each other, not dancing or bar hopping. I was stuck here with him until at least the morning. I hoped I wouldn’t kill him before then.

When we got into the bungalow, I took my shoes off and threw them against a wall. Kyle was lucky I didn’t throw them at his head. As I moved into the bedroom I stripped out of the dress that he had promised to take me out of himself when I first put it on. I threw that, too before rooting through my suitcase for a pair of shorts and a shirt. Kyle stood nearby, watching me with unease. I pulled on the shorts and shirt and moved past him back to the living area. When we arrived, there was a complimentary bottle of champagne in our room. We never opened it. Now was as good a time as any. I opened the bottle, not enjoying the
POP
of the cork dislodging like I usually did.

While Kyle stood in the middle of the living room watching me, I sipped at the bubbles foaming out of the top of the bottle before throwing my head back and guzzling as much of the bubbling liquid as I could.

“I told you not to do that,” he said quietly, but made no effort to stop me.

I only looked at him before taking another long sip. He gave me a look that spelled out all kinds of danger, but he walked into the bedroom. I heard him kick his shoes off and a moment later I heard him peeing in the bathroom, which reminded me of how damn quiet this place was. It was too damn quiet. I can hear someone peeing in the next room.

I took his brief absence as an opportunity to get away from him. I slipped out of the door that led to the beach behind us. As soon as my feet hit the sand, I took off at a run. I was not a runner. I tried running with Kyle a couple of times and I always felt like I was dying less than a quarter mile in. Running in the sand wasn’t any easier, but my need to put some distance between us pushed me to keep going until I was far enough away from the bungalows that I could not discern which one was even ours. The night was dark, but the moon reflecting off of the water gave me just enough light to see where I was going. My bottle of champagne was pretty shaken up and I probably spilled a good deal of it in my run. As I sat down on a log to catch my breath, I found that I hadn’t spilled as much as I thought. I took long sips as I waited for Kyle to come find me, and without a doubt he would.

I knew I couldn’t go on like this. I would always feel like the bottom was about to drop out from under me, and that’s no way to be in a relationship. Maybe some people liked those kinds of dramatics, but not me. I’d had enough bottoms dropping in my life. Then again, I should have known better. It’s Kyle freakin’ Sterling, after all. He was moody, hot and cold. Within those first 24 hours that we became intimately familiar with each other, he went from being hostile and insulting to wanting to rip my clothes off and just like that he changed again to indifference. When I first started working for him, he doubted my ability to do anything besides file and mix drinks while he ogled my body. One moment he was personal and the next he was cold. Hell,
a classic Kyle moment was when he was telling me how much he wished he didn’t care about me while he was trying to fuck me against his front door. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he made tender, passionate love to me and then called out Emmy’s name as a way to push me away. Classic fucking Kyle.

So, why was I so surprised that he brought me to an island that was set up for couples but then he pushed me off when I wanted to talk about our future relationship?

In the moonlight, I saw someone walking towards me. I knew Kyle would come and find me, but…well this person was a little smaller than Kyle in size.

I started to panic in my mind. Just because this was a couple’s retreat didn’t mean that I couldn’t get raped or murdered. I was suddenly aware of my folly, running out onto a dark beach alone, and far from where anyone could hear me scream.

I was getting ready to get up and run when the guy came to an abrupt halt and cursed.

“Holy shit, you scar
ed me,” he said with a faded British accent. “I didn’t expect to find anyone else out here.”

“Me either, and quite frankly I’m still scared. How do I know you’re not going to hit me with that bottle you have there?” I asked, looking at the bottle he was carrying in his right hand.

“And waste good rum? Are you mental?” He moved in closer, revealing his face in the moonlight. He was a good looking guy, I guess. Light hair, slim but had a toned build under a button down white cotton shirt and lounge pants.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone at night. Where is your companion?” he asked.

“What makes you think I have a companion?” I took another sip of my champagne.

“This is Bora Bora, my dear. Everyone has a companion.”

“Where is yours then?” I challenged.

“Sleeping too damn comfortably after declining my proposal of marriage,” he sighed.

“Oh,” I softened a bit. “Sorry about that. My ‘companion’ is probably out looking for me now. I took off while he was taking a piss.”

He sat down beside me on the log. “Don’t tell me you ran away from a marriage proposal.”

He offered me his bottle. I took it and handed him mine. We both took a few good gulps out of the bottles. My throat burned from the rum. Without looking at the bottle I knew it was Jamaican rum. I loved the stuff.

“I didn’t run from a marriage proposal,” I said after we switched bottles
again. “At dinner, a man proposed to his girlfriend. It was quiet and sweet. I specifically said ‘I’m not looking for a marriage proposal’ before asking him where he saw us in a few years, and I got nothing.”

“You’re friggen kidding me,
” he said incredulously.

“No shit. You know what I got? I got ‘this isn’t the time or place for this discussion, Lily.’ Psh.” The combination of the champagne and the rum was starting to go to my head. Though I spent most of my life behind a bar, I didn’t drink much. Kyle and I had beer a few nights a week after work, and wine with some of our meals, but for the most part we didn’t drink often. Now I was feeling that lack of drinking in my low tolerance level.

“Lily,” he said, rolling my name off of his tongue. “I’m Michael.”

I took his extended hand and gave it a firm shake.

“So, your ‘companion’ has commitment issues,” he said, before taking another swig of his rum.

“Amongst a host of other issues,” I mumbled and took a sip of my own drink.

Wordlessly, we switched again.

“Melanie said she isn’t ready for marriage,” he sighed. “We’ve been together for three years. At what point is she going to be ready? We’ve been living together for two of those years.”

“At least she told you she wasn’t ready. Kyle just keeps pushing the conversation off.”

“Yes, but she won’t tell me
why
she isn’t ready.”

“Maybe
they
should get together,” I suggested. “She doesn’t want marriage and he doesn’t want to talk about it. Perfect for each other.”

“I thought you weren’t expecting a marriage proposal?” he looked at me with a small grin.

“I wasn’t!” I said defensively, but then sighed. “I wasn’t. Really I wasn’t, but his response made me realize that it was something I’d want eventually – with him – and he doesn’t want it from me.”

“I have to be honest,” he said softly, staring out at the sea. “I don’t think I can continue to be with Mel if she doesn’t want me wholly. I know that some people are just as happy without the marriage aspect, but not me. She’s always known that I wanted a wife for life, not a girlfriend, not a fiancé. If I’m asking her, it means it’s extremely important to me, right?”

“Right,” I nodded.

“I feel that step will make us complete, but if she doesn’t want to be…one with me, to be whole with me, then I can’t be with her at all. It’s been long enough for her to know what she wants by now. Obviously, it isn’t me.”

We both took long pulls from the bottles before switching again. I actually started feeling a little worse for Michael than I did for myself.

“How long have you been with Kyle?” he asked.

“A few months. I’ve known him for a few years though.”

“Friends first?”

“Not exactly. He’s my boss, and before that he dated my previous boss.”

“Shit,
that sounds awfully complicated,” he said.

I shrugged. “You don’t know the half.”

“Maybe that’s why he can’t see into the future with you, if it’s always complicated,” Michael said.

“But it’s always been complicated,” I said, taking another sip. “That’s exactly why I was so reluctant in the beginning, but he’s hard to resist.”

“Maybe you need to move on,” Michael suggested. “I think I need to move on, too. Mel and I are supposed to be here for another couple of days, but I think I’m going to cut out early.”

“That sounds like a good idea, actually,” I said and we clinked our bottles together.

“Maybe we can meet in Venice or Paris or London and start our own love affair,” he grinned at me.

I was drunk, and Michael looked like he might be a good kisser, but even drunk I knew better. As far as I knew, Kyle and I were still a couple – or something like – which didn’t put me in a position to kiss other people, regardless of how hurt and angry I was. I bit my bottom lip and turned my attention back to the sea before us.

“I don’t know about your Melanie, but Kyle isn’t good at letting go.”

“Speaking of which,” Michael said distractedly. “Someone is coming.”

I looked back towards the bungalows. Another figure was marching through the sand. The moon had risen a little higher, lighting more of the beach. I couldn’t mistake Kyle for anyone else this time, or the look of rage on his face.

“You should probably go,” I said slowly to Michael as I watched Kyle advance.

We both got to our feet. I swayed as the alcohol really hit me. Michael reached out to steady me.

“I’m good,” I said after a moment. “Thank you.”

The time it took for him to steady me was wasted and Kyle was too close for Michael to effectively walk away. I put the rum in the sand and took a stance in front of him, which made him snicker.

“I don’t need your protection, love,” he said in a low voice.

I put my hands up to stop Kyle from barreling into Michael. Only my hands on his chest kept him back. He wouldn’t risk hurting me to get to him.

“Stop!” I yelled at him as he tried to go around me with rage in his eyes. “Nothing was happening here. We were just talking. Kyle!” I shoved him back.

“He just had his hands on you!” he roared.

“To keep me from falling over, you asshole!” I quickly picked up the bottle of ru
m and shook it at him. “We were drinking and I got dizzy when I got up.”

Kyle started pacing b
ack and forth, like a freakin’ lion in a cage desperate to reach the prey on the other side. “I don’t know who the hell you are or why the hell you are out here with my girlfriend, but if you don’t walk away now I’m going to knock your teeth out of your fucking head.”

“Kyle!” I snapped.

“Are you going to be okay?” Michael asked with genuine concern.

“Yes,” I said quickly. “I’ll be fine – physically.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Kyle raged.

“Shut up, I’m talking to my friend!” I yelled at him. I turned back to Michael and held out his bottle of rum.

“I think you need it more than me,” he said, eying Kyle with doubt. “Don’t waste it.” He gave me a wink. Kyle saw it and started raging again.

“Shut. Up.” I said through my teeth
before glancing over at Michael. “Good luck with everything, Michael,” I said.

“I’ll be fine,” he said with a shrug. “I hope you will be, too.”

I didn’t know if I would be fine or not, but I nodded. Michael took his newly acquired bottle of champagne, made a wide berth around Kyle and left us alone on the beach.

“You take off without a word, at
night
in unfamiliar territory with a stranger?” Kyle yelled in my face. “What the
hell
is wrong with you?”

“I didn’t take off with him. I took off alone and he just happened to come along.”

“That’s even
worse
, Lily! He could have raped you or killed you!”

“Well, he didn’t, so you can get the hell out of my face now.”

I tried to walk around him, but he gripped my arm, almost to the point of pain.

“Stop running away from me!” He spun me around to face him. “What do you want me from me, Lily? I’m giving you every fucking thing I can right now!”

“Except a real commitment,” I shouted back at him. “You can’t even see past this moment. Do you have any idea how fickle that makes me feel? I don’t want to feel fickle, Kyle! I had enough of that in my life.”

I tried to break away from him, but he held my shoulders tightly.

“I can’t give you more than a day at a time, Lily,” he said, shaking me a little as he spoke.