Where Words Fail (10 page)

Ever After was finishing up and West came sauntering off stage, straight towards Abby. He put his hand against her face, dragging his fingers down her cheek to her collarbone. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but based on every other night so far in the past three weeks I knew he was hitting on her. Anger boiled through my veins, and it took every ounce of effort not to knock him out. My hands were flexing by my sides as people rushed around us. He was touching what was mine, and I wasn’t having it. When he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek a growl escaped from my throat causing Abby’s head to snap around towards me.

“Cut the shit you fucking asshole. This.” She pointed between herself and West. “Has nothing to do with you.” She smiles at West, whispered something in his ear and then pushed by him, so she could get ready to go on stage. He turned and winked at me... That mother fucker winked at me. If it hadn’t been for Paul standing there, along with everyone else, I would have knocked his teeth down his fucking throat. Pushing all that aside, I got myself in the zone and took my spot on stage.

“Hello Bangor! Are you ready to fucking ROCK?” Abby screamed along with the crowd before starting into the opening number, Minute Man.

We went through all the whole set list as Abby worked the crowd. Her ass looked amazing as she danced and jumped around to the music in heels that had to lift her six inches. I found myself imagining holding her ass in my hands as she wrapped her legs around my waist again and digging those heels into my ass. Her hands running through my hair, tugging at the ends of them as I buried myself deep inside her. I snapped back to where I was supposed to be just as Abby finished up Scars, the last song on the list before we finally sang together.

“Alright all you sexy sexy people... How do y’all feel about being the first to hear the new song?” The crowd erupted around us as two stools were brought out. Abby pulled hers a little further away from mine as I sat down. “Ok, ok I get it. You’re excited! Well I am too, but here’s the thing. The way we did this song was a little crazy. The song was written by both Jameson and myself but we don’t know what it says...” The crowd seemed about as confused as I was when I heard about it. “I wrote my parts, he wrote his and the only people that know the whole song are Mr. AJ and Mr. Jason here. They think it’s good, so I’m going to go with it. So, yeah anyway... Here we go.”

I started playing the first few notes before Abby came in singing along with her guitar and AJ and Jason playing behind her.

Abby~

You don’t know how hard I cried

The night that you turned and walked away

My whole world came falling down

I didn’t think I could make it through another day

Just hearing her speak about that day made me want to cry, but you could tell by her voice that she meant every word. The haunting sound caused goosebumps to break out across my skin. I fought to keep focused as I sang my parts, my eyes never leaving Abby but hers didn’t leave the crowd.

Jameson
~

I fought so hard not to turn back around

I heard your cry and it broke my heart in two

If I could, then I would, take all your pain and put it on myself

It’s the least I could do for everything I put you through

Abby
~

I wish you’d fight

Just stand up and try to be a man

I wish you’d fight

Can’t you see me dying in front of you

Every day, I’d fall apart

Constantly picking up the pieces of my broken heart

If I wasn’t with you, I wasn’t me

I couldn’t fall in love again even if I tried

I wished you would have fought

I’m sorry if I wasn’t enough

To keep you from running away

Jameson
~

Baby, it wasn’t you

I never should have walked away

I don’t want to hold it back anymore

I just want you back in my arms again

Abby
~

I wish you’d fight

Stand up and try to be a man

I wish you’d fight

Can’t you see me crying in front of you

Jameson
~

Baby please just talk to me

I still see you in my dreams after all these years

Baby please just look at me

I swear you’ll see it in my eyes if you just let me in

Finally something I said caught her attention and she turned to stare at me while I sang, tears brimming in her eyes.

All I wanna do is fight for you

If you’d just listen for a second then you’d know it was true

I’m always going to fight for you

Abby
~

I wish you’d fight

Stand up and try to be my man

Jameson
~

Baby I’m always going to fight for you

Abby
~

Can’t you see I’m still in love with you

Jameson
~

I’ll always be in love with you

With the last note played, the crowd erupted. The noise raised to a deafening level as we got ready to head off stage. I should be reeling over the fact that I was actually on tour with this amazing band. Instead, I’m stuck repeating the words Abby just sang to me. She wants me to fight for her. She’s still in love with me, and now she knows how I feel. When we finally got to the edge of the stage, I grabbed her hand and tugged her back towards me.

“I think we need to talk.” Her green eyes bore into mine.

“Yeah... I think we do, but I can’t do it right now. Maybe once we get settled back home, but not right now. I need to get back to Alex and Izzy and deal with all that.”

Abby

“Abby.” AJ shook my shoulder to wake me up. “Abby, gotta wake up babe. They said we’re almost ready to land and you have to buckle up.” I groaned before opening my eyes and snapping them shut again, it’s way too bright to have them open. We had gotten on the plane just after three am, and I was nowhere near ready to wake up yet.

“Fuck off AJ... I’m tired.” AJ chuckled and reached over me to buckle my seat belt.

“I’ll drive you home so you can sleep.”

“Mmm fine. How are you not tired?” I mumbled as my head flopped onto his shoulder. I really didn’t care as long as I got to sleep some more. I know as soon as I get home Izzy’s going to be all over me, and I won’t be allowed to sleep until she does.

“I was smart and slept my way from Boston to Bangor.” He kissed the top of my head and shut up until we landed. After pulling my hood over my head and putting my sunglasses on, I left the plane, dragging my feet all the way to the car. AJ threw the bags in the trunk while I climbed into the back seat next to Tuesday. Jason jumped into the shotgun seat, and AJ got in behind the wheel like he said he would.

I was glad this tour was over. Between Derek going to rehab and the Jameson situation, I mean the
whole
situation, there was way too much drama in the past few months for my liking. Now I know why I opened up so easily to him the first night I met him. Why I couldn’t figure out how I felt I knew him, and especially why I found him so hot. God damn he was hotter than he was when we was a teenager.

I still couldn’t get that song out of my head. His words replayed through my head all night. He still loved me. He knew everything he was doing to me when he left. He knew he shouldn’t have left, and he wanted me to see that he was wrong. He said himself that he wasn’t going to stop fighting for me but what’s getting to me is that he knew all of this, and he still walked away. He could have kept us both from hurting. He could have stayed, and I wouldn’t have gotten stupid and ended up in jail. I wouldn’t have ended up meeting Matt. I wouldn’t have nightmares about being beaten almost every night. We could’ve still been together. God, everything that happened after he left could have been avoided. Fuck him...

“Aunnie Abbbbbbbby!” Izzy came barreling out the front door of the house as soon as AJ shifted the car into park. Her blonde hair streaking behind her as she ran. I lifted her up and wrapped my arms around her. The scent of horses invaded my nose as I buried my face in her hair. I could tell she had probably been in the barn most of the morning. Other than the studio Alex and I had put in here, the barn is her favorite place to be.

“There’s my baby girl. Ohhh I’ve missed you so much!”

“I didn’t think you were ever gunna come back. You were gone for so long!” That was true, we were gone longer this time than any other time since we started. Normally, Alex would bring her out and meet us somewhere but with him being sick and still trying to run the studio, it wasn’t possible this time.

“I’m always going to come back for you, Izzy... Always!”

“Te quiero?”

I nodded, a smile spreading across my face. “Te quiero baby girl. Now let’s go find daddy!” I set her down just in time for her to be scooped back up by AJ.

“Goodness baby girl, what did you, grow a foot while we were gone?” I heard Izzy giggle as I walked up the stairs on the wrap around farmer’s porch in search of Alex.

“Aunnie, he’s not in the house. He’s singing in the booth.” I nodded and told her to help get everyone inside to their rooms and ventured across the driveway towards the studio.

As soon as I opened the door I was surrounded by my brother’s voice. The deep soulful sound was resonating off the deep burgundy walls around me. I leaned back against the door, taking in the sight in front of me. From the black carpet to the white leather furniture to the large soundboard, everything in here reminded me of Alex. He had touched everything, been a part of putting it together and picking out the pieces to make it work. I wasn’t sure how I was ever going to make it without him.

Alex was in the booth just like Izzy said he was.
My little girl
was pumping out of the speakers until he noticed me. A shy smile crossed his lips as he finished up and stepped out of the soundproof room. The sight of him made me want to cry. His button down blue shirt was no longer struggling to be held together against his muscles, instead it looked like he was swimming in it, and his blue jeans looked to be two sizes too big. Alex’s eyes were sunken in, and the purple rings around them showed how little sleep he was probably getting.

He rushed towards me, wrapping his thinning arms around me. I buried my face into his chest. Somehow he got the extra height that I didn’t. Towering over me at five foot eleven. It was something he always picked on me about while growing up. I’d give anything for him to be able to pick on me about stupid stuff for the rest of my life.

“I’m so glad you’re home. Izzy missed you.”

“Only Izzy, huh?” I let go of him and sat in the office chair in front of the soundboard.

“Well, maybe I did too.” Alex smiled, causing his eyes to sink into his face more. He had to have lost at least forty pounds since I saw him last. Seeing him on Skype every night didn’t even come close to preparing me for this.

“So big brother, what are you doing in here all alone? Since when does Izzy let you be in here without her working the board?”

“I told her I needed an hour a day alone in here. It took some work, but she finally agreed to it.” Izzy has been running around in a studio since Alex had gone to school. She knew her way around the board better than most adults in this industry.

“Alright, so why are you out here and not allowing her to be too?”

He dropped his gaze from mine and tucked his hands in his pockets. “Making sure she never feels like she totally loses me.”