West For Love (A Mail Order Romance Novel) (13 page)

Anna gathered plenty of food for
the house, as Thomas insisted she do. He never failed to mention how good
Anna’s cooking was. Anna secretly enjoyed the attention because she hoped it compensated
for what she couldn’t provide. The day went along in a giant blur, but a good
one at that. It was the first time Anna came to town and felt part of it. It
was the first time she really felt people looked at her and appreciated her.
People looked at she and Thomas and they all smiled, knowing Thomas’s tragedy
and nothing more. And that was okay with Anna. She didn’t need to share her
story and take away from Thomas. He was the most important person in that town
as far as she was concerned.

Once they boarded the carriage
again and Thomas commanded the horse to travel, Anna found herself actually
yawning. She was tired! It had been that kind of day, a long but satisfying
day, physically, mentally, and even spiritually.

“To speak of your letters again,”
Thomas said, interrupting a peaceful Kansas silence and scenery.

“Yes,” Anna said.

“I would never compare you to
Rachel,” Thomas said. “I would never expect you to be Rachel. I would never ask
you for that.”

“Thank you,” Anna said. “I’d say
the same about William, but it would be unfair to you. William was cruel and
you, Thomas, are a great man.”

“So that was forced?”

Now Anna suddenly had the tables
turned on her. “Yes,” she said. “He wanted something from me and my parents
sought to better themselves financially and socially. I can’t hate them for it
because without the marriage - even though it ended - my parents would have
lost their farm and house.”

“That’s a terrible story to hear,”
Thomas said. “A year of that.”

“A whole year. By the end of it, I
was mostly numb. I hated myself for not having a child. I felt my purpose in
the world hadn’t been given to me. And nobody helped me until I met Mary.”

“Well, my Anna, you have purpose,”
Thomas said. “You have a lot of purpose.”

The rest of the ride was casual
conversation, mostly Anna asking random questions about farming, loving how
excited Thomas got when he spoke about it. How his eyes lit up, how his hands
moved, sometimes even confusing the horse. By the time they were back to the
house, Anna knew three things.

One, Thomas loved Thomas Jr. with
all his heart.

Two, Thomas loved to farm and
provide for his family.

Three, Anna felt like she had a
home and a family.

Finally.

That evening Anna cooked a large
meal, enough to feed a family twice the size she belonged to. It pained her to
cook so much for so few people but Thomas insisted. Everyone ate until they
were full and beyond, flirting with the cardinal sin of gluttony, but it
certainly felt good. It felt good to have work and love come together and allow
something good to happen. Thomas Jr. smiled at his father and Anna even played
a game with the infant, holding a piece of cloth up to her face and dropping it
fast, making sounds, sending Thomas Jr. into fits of laughter that were just
too addicting for anyone else to pass up.

By the time the game came to an
end, Jo had to wipe her eyes of tears, Thomas had to catch his breath, and poor
Thomas Jr. had a bought of hiccups. Anna then stood to clear the table, loving
the atmosphere of the house.

That night after Jo fed Thomas Jr.
before retiring for the evening, she found Anna and handed her the baby.

“He’s all yours,” Jo said.

“Mine? Have you fed him?”

Anna’s sudden motherly instincts
wanted to make sure Thomas Jr. was properly cared for.

“Of course I did,” Jo said, so calmly.
“I normally rock him to sleep. But that’s no longer my job. His mother should
do that.”

His
mother.

Two words that felt as powerful as
when Thomas spoke
I love
you
.

Anna took Thomas Jr. into her arms
and watched as Jo left. Anna began rocking the baby and stared down at him. She
wasn’t sure she should say anything as his eyes looked heavy and ready to close
any second. She went back to humming the same set of notes from the night
before and in the matter of a second, Thomas Jr. was asleep.

Anna took the baby -
her son
- to the
nursery and properly set him down for a night’s rest. She did take a minute or
two to stare at the sleeping infant. She felt something powerful. The kind of
love she’d been wanting to feel for such a long time.

A short while later, Anna was in
bed next to Thomas. His hand interlocked with hers. They were both silent but
awake. Anna knew Thomas was awake by the movement of his hand. He kept moving
his fingers, sometimes rubbing Anna’s hand, sometimes tickling her. Either way,
he touched her and Anna wanted it.

When the bed shook and Anna felt
Thomas’s breath on her neck, all her nerves began to tingle. From her toes to
her hair, she felt something happening. The attraction was like electricity in
her body. A moment later, Thomas’s lips kissed her neck and slowly moved down
to her shoulder.

“Oh, my Anna,” Thomas said, “how I
love you right now.”

“I love you too, Thomas,” Anna
said.

She turned her head and saw the
faintest outline of her husband. It was him and that’s all that mattered. They
kissed and casually began to embrace. When Thomas’s lips parted, forcing Anna’s
to do the same, Anna knew things were going to move beyond a kiss or a casual
whisper.

The feeling buried inside her had
been almost aching for Thomas.

His hands began to touch Anna
everywhere, helping her tonight to take her nightgown off. Once it fell from
her body, Thomas’s strong hands touched her breasts. He cupped her breasts and
his callused thumbs teased at her nipples, sending a wild sensation running
through her body. His lips didn’t leave her lips, only breaking for a short
minute as Thomas stripped off his own clothing. But even then his lips were
right back to hers, easing Anna’s head down to the bed as he climbed on top of
her. Anna opened her legs, almost with too much eagerness. She almost felt
wrong for wanting Thomas so bad. But then Thomas placed his body to hers and
all those thoughts were torn away. They didn’t matter at all as Thomas entered
Anna. It felt like it had been years, instead of days, and Anna let Thomas know
that by the loud moan she offered. It echoed in the room and Thomas placed his
mouth to Anna’s ear.

“My Anna,” he whispered, “you’ll
wake our son...”

Our
son.

Anna held Thomas at his tough
shoulders, his warm skin hard with muscle as he loved her body. Anna placed her
lips next to her hand at his shoulder and used his body to muffle her sounds of
enjoyment.

And that’s what it was...
enjoyment.

Each second that went by she felt
closer to Thomas. Their passion wasn’t afraid to show now that everything had
been set free. In those heated moments together, feeling Thomas move at her
with a speed and thrust that took her breath and made her feel more alive, she
knew why Thomas spoke to her when he did.

They had spoken while they
traveled, leaving it all out there, on the road.

In the house, in the room, in the
bed, that’s where they created something new.

Thomas came and kissed Anna long
after their passion ended. When he finally did roll off her body and fall
asleep, Anna felt a wild spark surge through her body. Her eyes shut as she
prayed, simply thanking God for all she had.

Chapter Thirteen

Between cooking, cleaning, caring
for Thomas Jr. now in every way possible except feeding him, loving Thomas in
any way she could imagine, Anna lost track of time. They had gone into town and
even though Anna knew it was long shot, she still checked with the post office.
But no mail had come for her. She knew it would be a while still before her
sister or Mary would have a chance to write back to her.

If they even did.

That thought though didn’t bother
her as much as it would have a few weeks ago.

And that’s when Anna’s mind kicked
in.

A
few weeks ago.

She tried to exactly pinpoint when
she had mailed the letters to Abigail and Mary. The more she thought, the more
she scrambled until the days and weeks started to line up. Then a realization
came to Anna.

It had been over a month.

Actually, it had been five weeks
total.

Five weeks then became six, seven,
and finally at eight weeks, Anna woke one morning to make breakfast and the
urge to be sick hit her out of nowhere with no chance of stopping it. As she
became sick, both Jo and Thomas were at her sides, checking on her.

“Are you ill?” Thomas asked, his
voice touching on desperation.

“No,” Anna said. “I just had to...
vomit...”

The urge passed and Anna stood back
up, feeling okay. She looked at Jo and Jo tried to hide a smile that couldn’t be
stopped.

“Why are you smiling?” Thomas
snapped at her.

“Nothing,” Jo said. “Let me check
on Thomas Jr..”

Jo left the kitchen and Thomas
touched Anna’s arm. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Fine,” Anna said.

She finished breakfast and even ate.
She had a second helping which didn’t seem smart, but her body begged for the
food. After that, each morning, almost on a schedule she vomited one time. By
the fourth day, she worried she had come down with something serious. Thomas
felt the same and when she did vomit, he was there, touching her back, his face
looking horribly worried.

But Jo never looked worried, not
one bit.

She always smiled. Of all things to
do while a person was so sick!

It wasn’t until the seventh morning
of becoming sick did Anna finally grow tired of it. She wept after being sick,
running from the kitchen, scared to death of what it could mean. She cried on
the bed and it was Jo who opened the door.

Jo smiled again and sat next to
Anna, right there on the bed.

“I know it’s scary, sweet Anna,” Jo
whispered.

“Scary? How would you know? I’m
sick, Jo, and I don’t know what it means. Did I eat something? Did I catch
something in town? Jo... will I die?”

“Oh my heavens,” Jo said, “you
really haven’t figured it out, have you?”

Anna’s stomach rumbled. Now came
the hunger. She touched her stomach and felt that it was slightly harder than
before. Almost like it was trying to push itself out. Like... like she...

“Anna,” Jo said, “you’re pregnant.”

She looked at Jo and just like that
the room began to spin. Just like that first day she met Thomas and felt her
knees buckle, this time Anna’s entire body buckled. She fell towards Jo and
then everything went black.

Within that blackness Anna heard a
voice whispering, over and over, taunting her, teasing her, breaking her heart
each time she heard it.

You’re
pregnant... you’re pregnant... you’re pregnant...

When Anna opened her eyes, she
found herself whispering, “I’m pregnant...”

“Anna, look at me,” Jo’s voice
said. “Look at me right now.”

Anna’s eyes fluttered as Jo came
into view. Jo held her and gently sat her back up on the bed.

“Jo... what did you say that for?”
Anna asked.

“You are,” Jo whispered. “Can’t you
see it?”

“How? Why?”

“Sweet Anna, you and Thomas have
been together... quite a bit... and you’re sick each morning, you eat like a
horse would eat...”

“I’m pregnant?” Anna asked, trying
to allow herself to actually hear the words and understand what they meant.

“I’m not a doctor, sweet Anna, but
I’ve seen it enough times to know,” Jo said.

Anna held her stomach again,
pressing harder for a few seconds, wishing she could feel more proof. Of
course, if she were pregnant it wasn’t that far along at all, meaning there was
no chance a baby could move and give her a sign of life.

But...
a baby? In her womb?

Anna shook her head. She took her
hands off her stomach and put them to the bed.

“There’s no way,” Anna said.
“Just... no way...”

Anna stood and felt woozy. Dizzy.
Her stomach rolled and contracted a few times. She put her hands out, trying to
feel the difference between extreme hunger and the need to vomit. After a few
seconds went by, Anna took a deep breath and moved towards the door. She looked
over her shoulder at Jo, who still sat, so patiently, on the bed.

“Jo, I can’t,” Anna said. “You
don’t understand. I can’t.”

Jo nodded but didn’t say a word.
That bothered Anna more than anything Jo could have said, because sometimes
silence spoke louder than words. Silence left Anna’s mind to fill in the blanks
and that was something she didn’t like to do.

At all.

She walked back into the kitchen
and a second later, Thomas was there, checking on her.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Anna said. She looked
at her husband and her mind screamed
I’m
pregnant!
and Anna shuddered.

“You look worried.”

“A little,” Anna admitted. “I don’t
like getting sick. But I’m okay right now and very hungry.”

“I think I should take you into
town, to see Dr. Hibert. He’s a very nice man. A gentle man.”

Anna avoided the topic for the rest
of the morning and day. Once breakfast was done, Thomas went to work. Of course
Anna felt much better, her morning routine of illness and then eating had come
and gone. The rest of the day Jo failed to bring the subject up and during a
hearty lunch, Anna whistled and hummed, moving so fast and happily that her
dress danced around her almost like a wide halo at her hips.

Thomas was so enamored by the sight
he made it a point to hug his wife hard, even lifting her off her feet at one
point.