West For Love (A Mail Order Romance Novel) (15 page)

“I’m sorry,” Anna whispered.

“Sorry for what?”

“For acting like this,” Anna said.

“Well, you know they say pregnancy toys
with a woman’s emotions,” Jo said and laughed. “You’ll probably cry a lot.
You’ll get mad, and then cry some more. You’ll need bigger clothes. We’ll need
more supplies.”

“I’m going to be a mother,” Anna
said.

“Sweet Anna, you already are.”

Anna looked down at Thomas Jr. and
nodded. “Yes. I am. But I’ll get to carry a baby and deliver a baby...”

Once in town, Anna hurried to the
post office and found two letters waiting for her. What a glorious day! She
held the letters tight and took deep breaths. One from Mary. One from Abigail.
She knew Mary’s handwriting compared to that of her sister and the handwriting
fit Mary’s personality, if that made any sense at all.

“Are you going to read them now?”
Jo asked.

“I want to,” Anna said.

“Why don’t you read them right now
and then write back. Share your good news.”

“I shouldn’t. Not before telling my
husband.”

“Thomas will know long before they receive
any letters.”

It was a good point and one Anna
couldn’t resist as Jo offered to take Thomas Jr. and walk around town for a little
while, giving Anna a chance to read and write her letters. The kind woman at
the post office even allowed Anna to sit in a chair and take her time. The
woman at the post office was kind enough to give Anna pen and paper to write.
Anna paid for the postage up front and then some, appreciating the opportunity
to stay there and write. Anna appreciated how everyone accepted her, smiled at
her, and cared for her. But before she could open one of the letters she
wondered what everyone would think once they found out she was pregnant.

Would they pity Thomas all over
again?

Would they be in fear for Thomas?
For Anna?

Anna knew she needed to rid herself
of those thoughts.

She started with Mary’s letter,
needing to read her words. She’d know just what to  say to make Anna smile and
feel at home even more.

Anna
-

I’ve
waited for what feels like my entire life! I wasn’t sure if you’d write but I’m
so happy you did. And to just imagine your voice brings a smile to my face. You
sounded troubled in your letter, Anna, and I hope Thomas has become the man you
need. I feel he will do so. A man who lives through tragedy and has to do so
alone becomes a scarred man. That’s why it could only be you to marry Thomas,
Anna. Only you. I’ll be honest for a moment - the day Henry (my dear brother
who is still a terrible whistler!) came and told me William had left you, I
felt pain. I felt anger! How dare a man put a time limit on a woman’s body! And
life! But then I thought about those letters. From Josephine first, followed by
Thomas himself. I knew then it was meant to be. That very same night, Anna, I
prayed! I prayed to God to bring you to me. To bring your pain to me.

And
it happened!

God
is good right now, Anna, and I hope you feel that deep inside yourself.

Anna paused reading and looked down
at her stomach. She touched her stomach and pressed, feeling the small belly
that was going to grow each day now. She did feel something deep inside
herself. Something from God. From Thomas. From the power of love.

She continued reading.

I
also have to admit something else, Anna. I’ve been thinking of your sister
quite a bit too. Right after reading your letter, I knew you’d found happiness.
It may not have shown in the beginning of the letter, but at the end I knew you
loved Thomas and I’m sure Thomas loves you right back. But that leaves your
sister. What of her, Anna? Will she forever be in a house, grieving and alone?
A woman that young, that beautiful, I couldn’t stand myself if I didn’t think
of her. I hope you have written to her too. I miss you dearly, Anna, I really
do.

Just
so you know I’ll be waiting for your response! I hope one comes soon!

With
love,

Mary
(and Henry - who is standing behind me as I write this, still whistling those
God awful notes!)

Anna folded the letter back up and
held it to her heart and smiled. She hoped that maybe Abigail and Mary could
meet. If there was one person in the world who could understand Abigail, it was
Mary.

Now it was time for Abigail’s
letter. Anna found her hands shaking as she opened the letter, worried what her
sister would think of her. What her parents would think of her. Worse yet, what
kind of condition was everyone in?

My
sister Anna,

I
went to town and a letter waited for me. From you! I let out a cry, so loud,
that the woman rushed to me, fearing I had injured myself. I did not expect to
hear from you. I was happy to read your letter.

You’ve
made me happy and proud with your letter, sister Anna. You took a risk and
found love. I now wait for another letter, to learn more of your new life. To
learn more of your new love. And of course, how that baby is growing! I did
show our parents the letter. They are at peace now. When I came back home,
alone, they weren’t as surprised as they were concerned for you. Mother took
too much guilt upon herself but has since snapped out of it thanks to your
letter. Father works countless hours, struggling, but he has a happiness about
him now. I won’t paint the perfect picture here because I am the one now, Anna,
who feels like the burden. I feel in the way. I feel as though my life has
stopped. I read your letter once a day. I think about the woman and her brother
you mentioned, but how can I do that? How I can find another man to marry? To
touch me? What will become of John? His memory makes my heart ache, Anna.

I’m
sorry, I don’t want this letter to worry you. I must insist you shed no tears
over me! Promise me that right now! No tears for poor Abigail!

I
have nothing more to write, Anna. I will wait for your next letter, which I
hope will come.

Love,

Abigail

Anna folded that letter up but
didn’t have the same feeling as she had with Mary’s letter. That came as no
surprise. She knew her big sister still lived in pain over the death of her
husband and it was no man or woman’s job to judge Abigail. Only Abigail and God
could settle that. But Anna could help with words at least.

Anna started with a letter to
Abigail. She knew the letter was going to be short and she knew her words had
to be carefully chosen. Celebrating the pregnancy could perhaps only push
Abigail deeper, not to mention Anna’s own embedded fear of what had happened to
Thomas’s first wife after giving birth to Thomas Jr..

Abigail
-

I
still miss my big sister!

And
yes, I’ve found happiness where I am. True happiness. With love. With hope.
With passion. And I know you could have the same, Abigail. But that’s your path
you must travel. I can only offer my words and my support. I have written to
Mary and she has responded, mentioning you, Abigail. She wants to meet you.
Mary does NOT push a woman into a marriage. Her service is not that for
monetary benefit. It aids Mary’s soul (which I believe has its own tragic past,
but I’ve never asked).

I
wish for you to someday speak with Mary. On your own time and want.

I
write now with not many words to offer, big sister, for I fear you will grow
less in love with your own life. But I have to share news that will come as a
shock.

I’m
with child, Abigail!

With
child.

Yes.

I’m
well aware of how it happened but not sure why it did. That entire year with
William and nothing. But being married to Thomas... maybe it’s the truth of
happiness that does it, I can’t be sure. But I am carrying a child in my womb.
I’ve been sick but better now. My stomach is already changing and I can feel
it.

I
hope this excites you, Abigail. You’ll be an aunt! But more than that, you can
see what happens. How it can happen. The right opportunity. The right man. Even
with pain in our hearts, it can happen.

I
love you and miss you dearly, Abigail. The same for our parents.

I,
too, will now wait for your response!

Love,

Anna

Anna folded the letter and filled
out the information needed and handed it to the woman at the post office. After
a few minutes of thinking about Abigail, wishing her sister could come to
Kansas and find love, Anna knew her only choice was to write the letter to
Mary. To share the good news of her pregnancy and then speak of Abigail.

Which she did.

She explained to Mary all that
happened, from getting sick and feeling the panic of an actual illness and how
Jo had talked her down and explained it was pregnancy. Anna wrote how even
after that, she refused to believe she carried a child and it wasn’t until that
day, as she and Jo rode to town did she come to terms with the truth of the
changes happening in her body, her heart – her mind. Anna even felt comfortable
enough casually mentioning the physical changes and how it felt when she and
Thomas were together. Anna’s cheeks burned as she wrote it.

Then came the chance to speak of
Abigail again. Anna left it short, but mentioned how Abigail admitted her own
pain over the loss of her husband and how she feared a new husband would be a
replacement. Anna could speak to those feelings, but Mary could handle it much
better.

The letter came out much longer
than Abigail’s but that was expected.

Once Anna was done in the post
office, she walked through town slowly, keeping both hands on her stomach. With
each step, she felt the small bump of her belly. After walking just a few
minutes, she felt her body becoming sore. In the most sensitive of areas too.
When she saw Jo, talking to a man who held Thomas Jr., Anna went to
investigate.

“Oh, there she is,” Jo said and
waved to Anna.  “Anna, come meet someone.”

Anna walked to the Jo and the man,
casually moving her hands off her stomach. She didn’t want to give anything
away just yet, but she knew if a breeze pushed hard enough at her dress, the
small bump of her belly might be seen.

“Well, isn’t it just a great
pleasure to meet you, Anna,” the man said.

“I’m sorry,” Anna said, “but I...”

“This is Dr. Hibert,” Jo said.

Anna’s eyes widened and she
accepted the man’s handshake.

“Doctor,” she whispered.

“Yes, that’s me. Don’t mind my age,
I do have a steady hand!”

Jo laughed and Anna felt her heart
racing.

“Jo’s been telling me quite a bit
about you,” Dr. Hibert said.

Anna looked at Jo. She wouldn’t
have told Dr. Hibert anything, right? Not about the pregnancy. That was private
knowledge and Thomas deserved to know before anyone else.

“Oh,” Anna managed to say.

“I must say, it is really
heartwarming to know Thomas Jr. here has taken to you,” Dr. Hibert said. “I was
there, obviously, when everything happened. A terrible situation, Anna, I’m
sure you can agree.”

“Yes,” Anna said.

“But look what we have now,” Jo
said.

“A family,” Dr. Hibert said. “Yes,
a family.”

Thomas Jr. let out a little cry in
protest and Jo said, “I think we need to start traveling home now.”

“Yes, we should,” Anna said. “I
want to make Thomas something to eat soon.”

“Well don’t let me hold you up,”
Dr. Hibert said. “And Anna, if you need anything, you be sure to come see me.”

The look in the man’s eyes
suggested he wanted to give Thomas a healthy baby and bring him to his healthy
wife. Of course, that’s what Anna wanted to, but certain things in life weren’t
in her control. Or Dr. Hibert’s.

Some things were left in the hands
of God.

The ride home was quiet, leaving
Anna to come to terms with one thing.

Tonight, she would tell Thomas of
her pregnancy. And she hoped, by God, that he would be as happy as she wanted him
to be.

Chapter Fifteen

When the moment came, Jo sensed it
and moved from the table, wanting to take Thomas Jr. with her. Anna looked at
Jo and casually shook her head. Anna decided she wanted Thomas Jr. to be there
for the news. Not that the infant could actually understand what was happening
(not to mention he had to endure the conversation Anna had with Jo on the way
to town), but Anna wanted to make a family announcement. And that’s what they
were.

A family.

Anna touched her stomach with her
right hand and thought to herself,
We’re
now going to be a bigger family...

She looked at Thomas, her husband,
her love, and smiled.

“Something is different,” he said.

“How so?”

“I can see it in your eyes, my
Anna,” he said.

“Oh?”

“I can look into your eyes for the
rest of my life,” Thomas said, “and live in there. I’d know the weather, the
seasons, the happiness surrounding you, the pain, I’d know it all. Because I
can read your eyes, my Anna. That’s something I’ve never been able to do
before.”