West For Love (A Mail Order Romance Novel) (10 page)

Jo opened her hands as if to say,
right here, with Thomas and Thomas
Jr.
.

“When did it first happen?” Anna
asked. “I’m sorry if I’m being intrusive.”

“Not at all,” Jo said. “I see what
you’re thinking.”

Before Anna could ask Jo what she
meant, Jo started to speak again.

“It was just after becoming a
woman, you know? I was bathing myself one evening and I just noticed something.
That’s really how it happened. When I touched it, my nipple, I mean, I noticed
liquid coming out. Just small droplets at first, but enough to scare me. After
bathing, I dried myself but couldn’t help but try it again. It happened again.
I slept that night and when I was able to do it again the next morning, I told
my mother about it. She ran to my father and I was instantly accused of being
with child. I had never been touched by a man, sweet Anna, ever. But they said
it was the only way possible. I assured them otherwise, but the relationship
started to crack that fast.”

Anna felt the strings of her heart
pull. How sad. To be accused and treated poorly for something that came as no
fault to Jo. As Anna thought it, she touched her own stomach, understanding the
feeling.

“I was not with child,” Jo said,
“and as months passed, it was proven. The doctors couldn’t find a baby and I
knew there wasn’t one inside me. But that didn’t stop my breasts from providing
milk. Each month it happened more and more. My parents couldn’t accept what was
happening and I soon had to leave home. To make my long story shorter, I found
work as a wet nurse thanks to a kind woman who gave me a chance to open up and
explain what was happening to my body. I thank God every night for that woman
and all she did.”

“Sounds like the woman who helped
me get here,” Anna said. “She was so kind and honest, willing to accept me -
and my divorce - and she waited for someone like me before showing your letter,
Jo.”

“I’d like to hug that woman,” Jo
said. “You know, Thomas wanted to get rid of me after I admitted what I had
done. But Thomas Jr. did have anyone else to bond with.  I knew Thomas didn’t
mean harm by his words or command, and there was no way I could leave Thomas
Jr. without nourishment.”

“Were you mad? Hurt?”

“Not at all,” Jo said. “I had done
wrong. It was his letter to write. His feelings to share. But sometimes you
just have to give someone a nudge. I grew tired of seeing Thomas hurt. I grew
tired of seeing him kill himself in the fields. I grew tired of him coming to
me and looking at me as though he had an interest in me. Sometimes he would
drink a little, using a little left over money from a good crop to purchase
whiskey. He tried to compare me to his wife, wanting life to be how he planned
it.”

“And you stayed?”

“Of course I did. For him. For
Thomas Jr.. And for you, Anna. Because each night I prayed to God, knowing that
someone had to be out there. I knew something would happen, it would just take
time.”

Anna hugged Jo, tighter than she
ever had before.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“No, Anna, thank you,” Jo said. “Now
go see your husband.”

Anna nodded. She looked into Jo’s
dark eyes and wondered more about the wet nurse. To be banished from her home
because she had a gift. That’s what it was too, a gift. Without Jo’s breast
milk, Thomas Jr. couldn’t survive. Yet somehow Anna knew there was more of a
reason why Jo wanted Anna and Thomas together so bad.

Anna didn’t have the time to
explore it.

Jo smiled and had a mischievous
look in her eyes.

“Your first night as husband and
wife,” Jo said. “Go enjoy...”

Jo turned and Anna walked down the
hall towards Thomas’s bedroom -
our
bedroom
, Anna’s mind reminded her - and when she stepped inside, she
saw Thomas standing, slowly taking his boots off.

“Hello,” Anna announced.

“My Anna,” Thomas said.

He looked happy, right?

Anna wasn’t sure what to believe.

Anna shut the bedroom door and
waited for Thomas to finish before she could find a way to slip into a
nightgown without doing so in front of Thomas. Unless he wanted her to, but
even then, Anna wasn’t sure how it all worked.

Thomas stood from the bed and
walked to Anna. He took her hand and smiled.

“Sometimes, there are moments...”

“Of course there are,” Anna said.
“You need not explain.”

“But I feel I do.”

“Then, I’m here to listen.”

“I know you are,” Thomas said. “I’m
a lucky man right now, my Anna, a very lucky man. I’ll return in a minute so
you can dress.”

Thomas left the room and Anna
changed into her nightgown. When Thomas came back, he and Anna got into bed.
Tonight the window was left open, allowing cool air to filter in. After Thomas
extinguished the flame, the only light came from the moon. Anna’s eyes adjsuted
and when she turned her head, she could see Thomas.

Her husband.

Next to her.

Anna smiled and felt content. She
rolled to her right and waited for sleep to come.

But it didn’t come.

Her eyes blinked. Her body waited,
with some kind of desire and excitement. She reminded herself that with Thomas
everything would take time. She felt lucky enough just to be near him, to have
him talking to her, and to have him marry her. It occurred to Anna just how
much she wanted Thomas. The thoughts weren’t very pure, but at least they came
now after they wed. The attraction was obvious before, but because Anna held
Thomas Jr., nothing happened.

But right now... they were in
bed... alone...

When Thomas’s hand touched Anna’s
shoulder, she shuddered and let out a small gasp.

“Anna...”

“Don’t stop,” she whispered.

Thomas’s rough fingertips moved
down Anna’s smooth skin. He pulled the nightgown down, exposing Anna’s shoulder.
The bed then creaked as Thomas moved closer to Anna. She felt his warm breath
on her shoulder a moment before his lips touched her.

Anna shuddered again as Thomas
began to kiss her. He moved up with his lips as his hand moved down. He kissed
at her neck, gently, but with passion. His hand followed the path of Anna’s
arm. Her hand rested on her own hip, but that’s not where Thomas stopped. His
hand left Anna’s arm and hand, not stopping until he rested it between her
legs. As his fingers curled, Anna felt the pressure of his touch. Her body
tightened, ready for her husband.

Thomas rubbed his nose against
Anna’s ear and whispered, “My Anna...”

Anna turned her head and rolled to
her back, opening her legs for her husband. Thomas’s lips came to Anna’s lips
as his hand started to claw at her nightgown, forcing it up, up, up. Anna felt
the cloth sliding against her body. Her legs became exposed and once the
nightgown was up far enough, Thomas touched her bare legs.

Anna softly moaned, wanting the
touch from Thomas. It was such an amazing feeling to have... with William it
had always been assumed and somewhat forced. William touched her only for the
purpose of wanting to conceive a child. After a while it became a struggle and
William would stare angrily at Anna, act angry towards her during their time
together, thrusting at her too hard, forcing himself upon her too much.

But not Thomas.

When his fingers touched between
her legs, again Anna jumped. Her own body’s urges felt like they were getting
out of control.

“Anna, will you take this off for
me?” Thomas asked.

Anna sat up on the edge and tore
the nightgown off herself. She felt the heat racing to her face, knowing how
intense the moment was becoming. That same heat appeared elsewhere, in places
so delicate and tender, it left Anna’s heart racing and her body shaking.

She moved back to the bed,
completely nude for her husband. She heard the sound of Thomas doing the same
for himself and when she looked as Thomas climbed back into bed, the soft light
in the room bounced off his body, showing Anna the muscles her husband had from
working so hard.

Back in bed, Thomas wasted no time continuing
where he had been. One hand slipped behind Anna’s neck and the other traced the
line of her body. Slipping between her legs again, Thomas rubbed her with a
gentle care. Anna’s toes curled. No man ever touched her there, with fingers,
like this. She could feel every movement Thomas made and she enjoyed it.

Her breathing became shaky and even
after Thomas took his hand away from her body, touching her hand again, Anna
couldn’t contain herself. Thomas kissed her shoulder, but this time he
carefully kissed down towards her chest. Anna was actually holding her breath,
waiting to feel Thomas’s soft lips touch her tender nipple. When he did, she
let out a small cry, trying her best to suppress all noise for the sake of Jo and
Thomas Jr., but it was certainly hard to do so with Thomas.

As Thomas’s mouth came over Anna’s
breast, she finally found some more air to breathe. Her hand squeezed Thomas’s
hand tight, telling him just how she felt. His tongue sampled, her soft skin,
his lips coming together in a sensual kiss that he repeated over and over. When
Anna expected him to offer his body he remained at her chest. His lips closed
for what had to be the fifth time. Only this time he pulled a little, using his
lips first then adding his teeth for a quick second. The feeling left Anna
shivering everywhere.

Thomas moved to her other breast,
offering the same attention to her nipple with his lips and teeth. When he
finally stopped and looked at Anna, there was a slight pause and odd moment
between them. Right then Anna knew what Thomas had been wanting to do, what he
had been looking for.

It was something Anna couldn’t do
or provide right then.

Anna knew her role now was wife and
mother. One of the two she offered right then, being Thomas’s wife, giving him
her body for pleasure. But to be Thomas Jr.’s mother, it would never be
complete. There was still the need for Jo in the house, no matter what.

With a slight flicker of pain in
Thomas’s eyes, he climbed Anna’s body, positioning himself between her legs.
Anna swallowed and tried to usher away the regretful feelings that seemed to
always chase her. She wanted that intense feeling from just a few minutes ago,
that desperate urge.

But it never came back all the way.

Thomas pressed himself forward,
gently gliding his way into Anna’s soft, warm entrance. Anna felt a mild pain,
but only for the first few seconds. After that it became something Anna never
experienced before. Thomas lowered his full body to hers and Anna sought
comfort at the curve of his neck, allowing herself to breathe hard, moan when
needed, and enjoy it. She never wanted the feeling of it to end because she
feared she’d never experience it again.

And that part suddenly became more
than a thought or worry.

Once Thomas finished, he moved from
Anna’s body in a hurry. He remained next to her in bed for a few minutes in
silence. Anna could feel something in the room changing - no, something had
already changed - and when Thomas sat up and got out of bed, Anna was overcome
by emotion.

“I need to be alone for a moment,”
Thomas said. “Please don’t worry. Please don’t follow.”

Thomas said no more as he dressed
himself and walked out of the room. Anna pulled the covers towards her nude
body and hugged them. She couldn’t stop the tears from coming. A few minutes
later as she forced herself to get dressed back into the nightgown Thomas had
asked her to take off, she felt almost as bad as when she and William were
together. When William finished he would always remain on top of Anna for a few
minutes and then leave her, rolling to his side to sleep, never speaking of
anything. And now Thomas... a man Anna found truly attractive, a man she cared
for, had left the room.

Anna could only imagine why.

The way he had touched her breasts,
Anna knew he wanted her to be able to give nourishment to Thomas Jr..  But she
couldn’t do that. She wasn’t Jo! And she wasn’t the birth mother, given milk by
God!

As Anna lay in bed, she felt
useless. She thought about the extra money, tucked away in a drawer. She could
just up and leave, find a different place to go.

But that wasn’t the promise she
made to Thomas, or to herself.

Being the wife she wanted to be,
she forced herself to stay awake until Thomas came to bed. Which he did, and
even though it felt like hours later, Anna was able to fall asleep peacefully.
Even if Thomas didn’t acknowledge her or even touch her, he came back, and that
was enough for Anna to hold onto.

Chapter Eleven

The following morning brought a
whole new set of feelings. She had expected to wake with a smile and she had
expected to look at Jo and blush, figuring Jo knew everything that had happened
in the bedroom the night before.

Instead, she felt like she was
following Thomas around the house, waiting for him to look at her and talk to
her. Other than the average morning talk of
Hello
and
I need to get to work
,
nothing extra came from Thomas. He ate his breakfast, thanked Anna for making
it, and then set out to work.

Anna washed the dishes from
breakfast as tears fell down her cheeks. She hadn’t realized Jo had crept into
the kitchen until Jo touched her shoulder, causing Anna to scream.

“I’m sorry,” Jo said. “I didn’t
know you... are you crying? Sweet Anna, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Anna quickly lied as she
turned her attention back to the dishes.

Jo took Anna’s hands and moved them
out of the sudsy water. She moved Anna to the side and took over.

“That’s not your job,” Anna said.

“I’ll help.”

“No!” Anna cried out. “You’re
taking all the work from me then! He... he can’t love me then!”