To Tame a Renegade (22 page)

“What about Mama?”

Chad chose his words carefully. “Your mother is a fine woman. She’ll make some man a wonderful wife. The problem is mine. I’m not the kind of man your mother needs.”

Abner gave Chad a slow smile. “You’re wrong, Chad. You’re ‘zactly the kind of man Mama needs. I’m going back to see the horses,” he said, running off.

Chad shook his head in dismay. The kid had a way of getting under a man’s skin. He could understand why Jackson wanted his son. If he was Jackson he’d do everything in his power to claim the boy.

Everyone, Cully included, enjoyed the supper Sarah put on the table that evening. Cully had killed a chicken for the occasion and Sarah found the ingredients for noodles. With mashed potatoes, biscuits, and fresh green beans, the meal was memorable.

“Thanks fer the grub, Miz Sarah,” Cully said, patting his stomach. “Reckon I’ll take myself off to the bunkhouse. I’ll be up in the morning before you leave.”

“Good night, Cully,” Sarah said, stifling a yawn. “You’re not the only one who’s tired.”

“I’ll take Abner up to bed,” Chad offered. “He looks about done in.”

“Will you tell me a story?” Abner begged. “It’s been a long time since anyone’s told me a story.”

Chad didn’t have the heart to refuse. “Sure, son, if you can stand one of my wild tales.”

Abner was asleep before Chad finished his story. He pulled the covers up to the boy’s neck and tiptoed from the room. He met Sarah on the stairs.

“Which room did you put Abner in?” Sarah asked. “I hope the bed is big enough for both Abner and me.”

Chad gave her a teasing smile as he searched her lovely features. Her violet eyes were smudged with dark circles, attesting to her exhaustion. Her lush red lips were parted invitingly. He recalled with alacrity how sweetly those lips clung to his when he kissed her.

“Actually, the bed is a single one. I saved the room with the double bed for us.”

“For… us?”

“This is likely to be the last time we’ll be together, Sarah. I don’t intend to stay long in Dry Gulch.” His eyes glittered. “I want to make love to you tonight. I haven’t been able to think of much else since that night in the wagon. My problems seem to dissolve when I’m making love to you.”

His words shocked her. How could he say those things and still believe he didn’t love her? What would it take to bring him to his senses?

“Had I known a woman’s body could be so soothing a tonic for my troubles, I would have spent more time in bed and less time chasing outlaws. There’s a lot to be said for lust.”

Sarah’s head buzzed with anger. She knew he’d been using her, but her love for Chad had blinded her to everything but her need to be with him. She knew now what a foolish dreamer she’d been. Lust was all Chad was ever going to feel for her. She’d let him make love to her, wanting him, needing him, pretending that one day he would realize that he loved her. She knew now it just wasn’t going to happen. She could keep giving and giving. He would keep taking and taking. What hurt the most was the knowledge that almost any woman would serve his needs.

In the beginning Chad’s honor and compassion had kept him in Carbon. He’d felt pity for her. He cared only for Abner. How could she expect Chad to want her when she was utterly unlovable? She had a child and no husband. As long as she allowed him in her bed, he’d keep taking, giving nothing of himself in return. She had asked for no emotional ties and received none. She could love him till doomsday, but he would never love her.

“Find yourself another woman,” Sarah said, stepping around him. “You used me for the last time.”

“What’s wrong? Are you suddenly too good for me?” His anger was palpable. “I thought you were one of the few honest women left in this world, but I was mistaken. Now that I’ve taken you away from the hard life you led you no longer want me, is that it?” He snorted derisively. “And here I was worried about hurting you because you were becoming too emotionally involved with me. You knew where I stood from the beginning.”

“Don’t, Chad, please. Of course I knew where you stood. But a girl can hope, can’t she? You’re just like the men in Carbon who thought I was fair game. You were the only man I thought worth my time. Being with you meant something to me even if it meant nothing to you. Are you going to tell me which room is Abner’s?”

A nerve twitched in his chin. “Third door on the right. Sleep well.”

Trembling from the force of her anger, Sarah entered Abner’s room, leaning against the closed door for support. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She should have known better than to trust a man. She was a fool to believe she could make Chad love her. She realized now that he’d always been a hard, bitter man. One who had little use for women beyond the pleasure they gave him. His one redeeming quality was the spark of compassion that had somehow survived. Someday, some woman would unlock the secrets of his heart. She wished that woman well.

Chad’s glittering gaze followed Sarah as she made a hasty departure. Why must he be such an unfeeling bastard? The answer was simple: Because he feared he was becoming too fond of Sarah and Abner. Acquiring a wife and child meant a man had to settle down, and he wasn’t ready for that. He still had his demons to battle.

Saying hateful things to Sarah hurt him as much as they hurt her but he felt they needed to be said in order to keep an emotional distance between himself and Sarah. Leaving was going to be damn difficult for him and he could imagine what it would do to her.

Chapter 11

“W
e’re home,” Chad said. Today he was driving the wagon. Abner was sitting between him and Sarah.

Sarah gazed absently at the lush acres of pasture surrounded by foothills and towering peaks. The grazing cattle looked fat and content; the fences appeared to be in good repair.

“Where’s the house and barn and all the buildings?” Abner asked excitedly.

Chad smiled at his exuberance. “You’ll be able to see them when we round the next bend in the road.”

Sarah stared mutely ahead. She and Chad hadn’t spoken more than a few words to one another since the angry words they had exchanged at the Circle F. It hurt to think that she had no future with Chad. All her hopes and dreams had been pure fantasy.

Chad cast a surreptitious glance at Sarah. His feelings about their relationship were mixed. Sarah had known where he stood from the beginning. She’d been foolish to expect things he couldn’t give her, and he was confident that he hadn’t led her to believe otherwise. He’d been honest about his aversion to marriage, so Sarah had no right to expect anything but passion from him. On the other hand, he shouldn’t have initiated lovemaking when he knew she’d probably misinterpret his intentions. Lust was a powerful driving force. His lust for Sarah was intensely motivating and pleasurable.

“Aren’t you excited. Mama?” Abner asked, jumping into the void. “This is where Chad used to live.”

“We won’t be staying long, honey,” Sarah said, refusing to look at Chad. “Coming here with Chad was a mistake. If it wasn’t for Freddie Jackson we’d still be in Carbon, doing what we’ve always done. Maybe we’ll return after Chad catches him. Would you like that?”

Abner made a face. “I don’t wanna go back there, Mama. The boys there are mean to me.”

“Abner is right,” Chad said succinctly. “You can’t return to Carbon. There’s nothing there for you.”

Sarah gave him the full benefit of her displeasure. “What is there for me here? I’ll do what I dam well please, Chad Delaney.”

Damn stubborn woman, Chad thought irritably. Then his thoughts skidded to a halt when the Delaney ranch came into view. Chad let his gaze devour the house in which he’d grown to manhood. It looked the same after two years. Ryan had repaired the roof, he noted. The same roof he and his brothers had slid down to sneak away and raise hell in town when they were boys. And what hell they’d raised!

As they matured, they no longer had to sneak out to play cards at the saloon, or get into fights, or visit whores. Chad recalled a yellow-haired whore named Nellie, who demanded nothing from him but his lust and a night’s pay, and wondered if she was still available. If anyone could cure him of his hunger for Sarah, it was Nellie. He hoped he’d find time to visit her before he left Dry Gulch.

Chad experienced a mixture of anticipation and foreboding as he drove the wagon into the yard. He recognized several of the hands and waved to them as he drove by. Within minutes the wagon was surrounded by excited men.

“Well I’ll be damned. It’s Chad Delaney,” a young hand said, grinning from ear to ear. “About time you came home.”

“Howdy, Rusty,” Chad greeted. “Are my brothers around?”

An older man Chad didn’t recognize pushed through the crowd. He held his hand out to Chad. “I’m Chuck Harper, foreman here. Pleased to meet you. Welcome home.”

Chad jumped down from the wagon and grasped Chuck’s hand. “Howdy, Chuck. Didn’t know Ryan hired a foreman. Never needed one before.”

“Probably didn’t while you were here. Pierce spends most of his time at the Circle F with his family, and Ryan had a hard time keeping up here. He hired me right after you left.”

Chad noted a hint of censure in Chuck’s voice but wasn’t angered by it. He’d left Ryan in a bind the day he rode away and couldn’t fault Chuck for sympathizing with his brother.

“Where are my brothers?” Chad repeated. “I stopped first at the Circle F and learned that Pierce and his family were visiting Ryan.”

“They all left three days ago for the cattle auction in Butte. Ryan is looking to buy one of those fancy English bulls he’d heard so much about Pierce decided to go along and look them over. Mrs. Delaney didn’t want to stay here alone so she and little Robbie tagged along.”

Chad stifled a groan. Fate was conspiring against him. Ryan and Pierce would be gone at least a week. Maybe longer since they were traveling with a woman and child. That meant he’d be stuck in Dry Gulch until they returned.

“Hey, Chad, introduce us to your wife,” one of the hands called out.

“I don’t have a wife,” Chad countered. “The lady’s name is Sarah Temple. She’s a friend.” He reached into the wagon for Abner while three men leaped forward to help Sarah down. “And this is Abner, her son. They’re going to be guests here for awhile.”

“All right, back to work,” Chuck said after everyone had greeted Sarah and Abner. “Rusty, take the wagon to the barn. You and Slim can unload it and carry the things into the house.”

“Much obliged, Chuck,” Chad said.

“Anything else we can do to make your guests comfortable?” Chuck offered.

From the corner of his eye Chad saw Abner chase one of the dogs into the bam. “Have the hands keep an eye out for Abner. He’s a curious little boy. I reckon he’ll be underfoot a lot. I’d hate for him to get hurt. When the newness wears off he’ll learn what’s dangerous and what isn’t.”

“Sure thing, Chad. We’ll keep an eye out for the boy.”

“Are you sure Abner will be all right?” Sarah asked anxiously. “This is all so unusual to him. He’s like a kid with a new toy.” She gazed wistfully at the wide open spaces. “It’s a wonderful place to raise children. Best of all, there isn’t a layer of coal dust hanging in the air and clogging our throats.”

“He’ll be fine,” Chad insisted. “Come on into the house, I’ll show you around. Maybe Cookie has some milk and cookies to tide Abner over until supper.”

“You have a cook?”

“Cookie has been with us a long time. If he had a name, I can’t recall it. You didn’t expect three bachelors to do their own cooking, did you?”

“I’ve never known anyone who had a cook.”

“We have a housekeeper, too. Or we did. Mrs. Lester was getting on in years. She may have already retired.”

Chad held the front door open and Sarah stepped into the foyer. She could see the parlor from where she stood and was duly impressed. The house was even roomier than it looked from the outside.

“I’ll show you around,” Chad said with a hint of pride. He had fled to escape tragic memories, but his home was still dear to his heart. The absence of a mother had affected the Delaneys in many ways, but it did not diminish their sense of family and the happy times he’d shared with his brothers.

Sarah followed Chad through the parlor, dining room, office, kitchen, storeroom, and pantry, then he ushered her upstairs to the bedrooms.