To Tame a Renegade (20 page)

“I decided to give Sarah another chance with my laundry,” Mrs. Kilmer said, looking down her nose at Chad. “She’s the only one who can get the starch right in my husband’s shirts.” She spied the wagon and looked askance at Chad. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I’m leaving town,” Chad said succinctly.

“Good riddance,” Mrs. Kilmer sniffed. “Where is Sarah?”

“Saying goodbye to Mrs. Barlow. I’m taking Sarah and Abner with me to Montana.”

The haughty woman’s mouth dropped open. “You’re marrying Sarah?”

“I didn’t say that”

“Well,” she huffed, “I should think not Men don’t marry Sarah’s kind.”

Chad’s fists balled at his sides. If he’d had the slightest doubt about taking Sarah with him he no longer did. “I suggest you take your laundry and leave, lady. The town will have to find some other helpless victim to pick on.”

“Well, I declare! I wish you joy of your whore.” Lifting her nose in the air, she spun around and stalked back to her buggy.

Chad would have done something he’d regret if he hadn’t spied Sarah and Abner walking down the road toward him.

“Wasn’t that Mrs. Kilmer? What did she want?” Sarah asked as the buggy shot past her.

“She brought you her laundry. I sent her packing. Forget her.” He lifted Abner into the wagon. “Are you ready to go, son?”

Abner nodded excitedly. “Will I like it in Montana?”

“I guarantee it.” He turned to Sarah, lifted her onto the seat and vaulted up beside her.

“I don’t think I’m going to miss this at all,” Sarah said, glancing back at the rundown shanty that had been her home for the past six years.

Sarah felt no regret over leaving, despite her apprehension about her new life in Montana. After Chad dumped her with his relatives, she might never see him again. As they left the town of Carbon behind, Sarah vowed to use this time alone with Chad to make him love her.

Most nights Sarah and Abner slept in the wagon and Chad under it. The weather was brisk but not too cold. Chad had made no effort to renew their intimacy, though sometimes Sarah caught him gazing at her in a manner that could only be described as predatory. She was astute enough to know he wanted her and that he was deliberately holding himself in check. Did he fear he might become too fond of her? Was he afraid that involvement meant he’d have to place his trust in a woman?

One night, while Sarah cooked supper over the campfire Chad had built, unexpected company dropped in. Chad reached for his shotgun.

“Howdy, mister, didn’t mean to startle ya. Smelled yer coffee. We ran out of coffee two days ago. Could ya spare a cup fer me and my partner?”

Both men were scruffy-looking characters. Both wore stained buckskins and sported shaggy beards.

Chad took note of their pack mules. “Are you prospectors?”

“Reckon ya could say that,” the bigger of the two men said. “I’m Justice Crumb and this here’s Tolly Rinker. About that coffee…”

Chad uncocked his gun and rested it against a log. He didn’t like the looks of these men, but they didn’t seem threatening. “Sit down. Sarah will pour you each a cup of coffee. I’m Chad Delaney.”

“That your wife and kid?” Rinker asked, staring intently at Sarah.

“Yeah,” Chad acknowledged tersely.

Sarah looked startled but did not contradict him.

“But Mama…”

“Time for bed, son,” Sarah said, cutting Abner off in mid-sentence. “Go inside. Mama will tuck you in later.”

“But Mama …”

“Do as your mother says,” Chad said quietly. Abner took one look at Chad’s taut features and scampered into the wagon.

“This is mighty fine coffee, missus,” Rinker said. He hadn’t taken his gaze from Sarah since entering their camp.

Sarah shifted uncomfortably beneath Rinker’s hungry gaze. As soon as she’d served the coffee, she excused herself and climbed into the wagon with Abner.

“That’s a fine-looking woman,” Crumb said. “Bet she’s a nice warm armful on a cold night.” He guffawed lewdly and poked Rinker in the ribs. “Me and Rinker ain’t had a woman fer almost a year. How much will ya take fer a few minutes with her? Won’t take long.”

Chad calmly reached for the shotgun. His voice was as cold as a winter storm. “I suggest you two move on. Sarah’s not for sale. I don’t share what’s mine.”

The moment the words left Chad’s mouth, he realized how possessive he’d become of Sarah. He’d kill any man who touched her.

“Don’t get yer dander up, mister. Just thought you’d welcome some extra money. But I can see now we made a mistake.”

“Damn right you did! You’d best move on before I take exception to what you said and load your backsides with buckshot.”

Crumb heaved his bulk from the log he’d been sitting on. “Come on, Rinker, time to move on.”

“But Crumb, I’m hard as a brick,” Rinker whined. “There’s two of us and only one of him.”

“Not this time,” Crumb said, sizing Chad up. “The woman ain’t worth my life. There’s a cathouse in the next town, we were headed there anyway.”

“Much obliged fer the coffee, mister,” Crumb called over his shoulder. “Take care of that woman and kid of yers.”

Chad watched them ride away, the shotgun poised in the crook of his arm.

“Do you think they’ll come back?” Sarah asked as she climbed down from the wagon to join him.

“You heard?”

Sarah shivered, suddenly chilled. “I heard. I feared they’d try to jump you. I had a gun inside. If they had tried anything, I would have shot them”

Chad’s arm came around her. “I wouldn’t let them have you, Sarah. You were never in danger.”

He turned her in his arms, disregarding the warning bells that went off inside his head as he claimed her lips.

Chapter 10

C
had’s lips moved on hers with almost desperate yearning. Sarah thought she could actually hear turbulent winds of need howling across his soul. Something dark and despairing swirled in his eyes. Sarah recognized the hopelessness in them and sympathized with the depths of emotions he was experiencing, for she was feeling those very same emotions.

She’d give her own soul to be able to help him banish his painful memories and overwhelming sense of guilt. Until he regained emotional stability she didn’t stand a chance with him. His heart was as closed to her as if he’d built a wall around it. The only thing she had going for her was the fact that Chad wanted her. Chad’s lust was intact even if his heart wasn’t.

The kiss seemed to go on forever. Sarah clung to him, her mouth soft and trembly beneath his. When it ended she stepped away, breathless and shaken.

“What if those men come back?” she asked, glancing furtively around the campsite.

“They won’t.”

His confidence was reassuring, but Sarah was still doubtful. “How do you know?”

“They know they’d never succeed with whatever they tried. They are prospectors, not murderers. Being a bounty hunter has taught me a lot of things. One is to judge men’s characters. They didn’t want a woman badly enough to risk their lives. I’ll keep watch for awhile, but I’d bet money that they’re on their way to the nearest town.”

Sarah shuddered. “I hope you’re right.”

“Sit with me for awhile,” Chad invited.

“Let me check on Abner first.”

Sarah climbed into the wagon, saw that Abner was sound asleep, and her heart nearly burst with love. Abner was her life. Without him she’d have nothing. Unless Chad… She sighed, warning herself not to let her fancy run away with her. Chad wanted a woman for only one thing. Changing him wasn’t going to be easy, she decided as she grabbed her shawl and climbed down from the wagon to join Chad.

Sarah was surprised to see that Chad had spread his bedroll out beneath the stars. He reached for her hand, helped her to sit down and sprawled beside her. A tense silence ensued as both Sarah and Chad stared into the star-studded night.

“Did you like the clothes I bought for you and Abner? You haven’t mentioned them.”

“You shouldn’t have spent money you couldn’t afford on us. I know you were counting on the reward for capturing Jackson. How did you manage to buy a wagon? You said you were running short of cash.”

“I
was
running short of cash. I visited the bank before we left. The Delaney family is fairly well off. I used a letter of credit to obtain funds.”

“I’ll pay you back,” Sarah vowed. “I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. Dumping me and Abner on your brother and sister-in-law might sound like a good idea to you, but not to me. As soon as I find a job in town I’ll be moving on. What are your plans?”

Chad went still. It was almost as if he’d withdrawn from her. “I’m going back to doing what I’ve been doing. I’m not ready yet to return to Dry Gulch.” He gazed off into the distance. “Someday, maybe. But don’t worry, you’ll like Pierce and Zoey.”

“When you return—if you return—I’ll probably have moved on myself. I only agreed to come with you because I’m afraid Freddie would return to Carbon for Abner.”

“Is that the only reason, Sarah?” He spoke in an odd yet gentle tone.

Sarah stared at him. What did he want from her? An admission of her feelings for him would be disastrous right now. Their relationship was one-sided. The only love involved was the love she had for Chad. Telling him how she felt would do more harm than good. He wasn’t ready yet to open his heart to love.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Chad. I doubt you’d want to hear the truth.”

Chad didn’t know what he wanted to hear from Sarah, but he knew what he wanted her to
do.
He wanted her to stay at the Circle F ranch where she’d be safe, but he knew that was asking too much from her. He had no authority where Sarah was concerned. He’d asked for no commitment and wanted none. It was better that way. He’d just make Sarah’s life miserable with his painful memories and relentless guilt. He’d hoped to leave all his guilt behind when he fled Dry Gulch, but it hadn’t worked that way. His problems followed him. His best moments in the past two years had been those times he’d spent making love to Sarah.

“Sarah, I wish…”

“We’ve already been down that road, Chad. I don’t expect anything from you. I’ve always known exactly where I stand with you. You’re a compassionate man, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and Abner.”

“I shouldn’t have made love to you. I’ve hurt you and I never meant to.”

“Don’t blame yourself, I could have stopped you had I wanted to. Until you made love to me, I thought the act was vile and disgusting. I’m grateful to you for showing me how wonderful it could be.”

“It won’t happen again if you don’t want it to.”

Chad might as well have asked her to stop breathing. If she was to have so little of him she wanted to make every minute count.

Her eyes were brilliant reflections of the stars as she gazed at him. “I want it to happen again.”

Chad went utterly still. “Are you sure?”

“Very sure. Maybe I truly am the kind of woman my parents accused me of being.”

“You’re no whore, Sarah.”

“I am with you, Chad.”

His hands clamped around her shoulders, giving her a gentle shake. “Dammit! Don’t talk like that. Your parents were wrong, the town was wrong. You were taken advantage of by a vicious rapist.”

“You healed me when you made love to me. I wish I could do the same for you. Then maybe you’d…” She flushed and looked away. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to place any pressure on you. You’ve already done more for me than any other person.”

“Sarah…” Her name was a groan on his lips. “You
have
helped me. You and Abner have restored something inside me I thought I’d lost. For a long time I’d been unable to feel anything. I was an empty shell, then I met you and realized I’d merely misplaced my compassion, not lost it I’ve still got a long way to go, but it’s a start.”

“Why not stay in Dry Gulch and face your demons?”

He pulled his eyes away from her. “I’m not ready for that.”

“I didn’t think so.”

The beginning of a smile tipped the corners of his mouth. “Is this conversation leading someplace?”