The Twitter History of the World (16 page)
Read The Twitter History of the World Online
Authors: Kelvin MacKenzie
@LastManStanding
Damn that 140-character limit!
09.01am, January 1, 2013
@God
*Launches Earth 2.0*
09.02am, January 1, 2013
To be banned from Twitter:
1. Public sector workers
2. Anyone from Scotland
3. People who explicitly ask celebrities for an ‘RT’
4. Fat people (see 2)
5. Tweeters who cannot make their point in 130 characters or less. (In these times of austerity we’re going to need those 10 characters back…)
6. Anyone who sends rude Tweets to Piers Morgan
7. Anyone who sends polite Tweets to Piers Morgan
8. People who apologise ‘for not Tweeting’ after a mere one-day Twitter silence
9. MPs whose first name is Tom and surname is Watson
10. Anyone who has time to Tweet more than once a week
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ePub ISBN 978 1 78219 048 6
Mobi ISBN 978 1 78219 054 7
PDF ISBN 978 1 78219 061 5
First published in paperback in 2012
ISBN: 978–1–85782–822–1
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© Text copyright Chas Newkey-Burden and Kelvin MacKenzie 2012
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