The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes (63 page)

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sacrificed his mum to Santa.

There is one great advantage in being dyslexic. It doesn’t cost a fortune to get a personal number plate for your car.

Two dyslexics were working in a kitchen.

The first says, “Can you smell gas?” The second replies: “Fuck off. I can’t even smell my own name.”

Two dyslexics robbers ran into a bank. One shouts: “Air in the hands, mother stickers this is a fuck up!”

Did you hear about the dyslexic student who entered a spelling bee?

She came in salt.

A dyslexic bloke goes on a skiing trip to Austria. When he arrives at the resort he asks a local where the ski slope is.

“Don’t know,” replies the local, “I’m a tabogganist myself.”

“That’s okay,” says the dyslexic. “Give me twenty Benson and Hedges then.”

Dyslexia: it means you never have to say you’re syror.

How do you know you’re at a bulimic bachelor party? The cake jumps out of the girl.

My girlfriend suffers from depression brought on by her having anorexia. I told her she should lighten up.

What does a bulimic call two fngers?

Dessert.

What do you call an anorexic with three teeth missing?

A rake.

Why do bulimics love KFC?