The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (40 page)

     There will be a description of the kind of stupid being Mary Maxworthing had in living, of the kind of stupid being the other kind of women I was describing have in them, the stupid being Mabel Linker had in her in her living.
     Stupid being then is in every one, in some it is with the bottom in them, in some with the other nature or natures in them, in some with the feeling coming out of them. In some it is always repeating, in some it is only rarely repeating, there is every kind of accent in repeating stupid being, sometime there will be a history of all of them.
     As I was saying every one has stupid being in them. It is very important to know it in each one the kind of stupid being in them. Stupid being is not foolish being, it is not dull or senseless being, it is sometimes foolish being, it is sometimes dull or senseless being, it is not always any very certain kind of being, it is always in each one and sometime it comes in some fashion out of every one.
     Stupid being then will soon be certain in each one. This is now a history of stupid being in some.
     Stupid being then is somewhere in each one, in every one there is in them the stupid being that is natural to them, that makes their kind of them. There is then in every one their kind of stupid being and it comes out in each one according to the nature of that one. In some, stupid being is resisting. In many then who have independent dependent nature in them resisting is the stupid being in them. In those who have in them dependent independent nature, in them stubbornness is a resisting that is natural in them with their kind of knowing, resisting in such of them is not the stupid part of them.
     Each one as I was saying has in them their kind of stupid being, the kind of stupid being that is natural to their kind of them.
     I say then in many who have independent dependent nature in them who have attacking as the natural way of fighting in them, who have weakness or vagueness or sensitiveness or emptiness as the natural bottom of them, in all of such of them stubborn resisting is almost always a part in them of the stupid nature in them, of the stupid nature every one has in them.
     This was not so in Mary Maxworthing. She almost never had in her any stubborn resisting, the stupid being in her came with the impatient being in her, with angry feeling sometimes in her, with the injured feeling sometimes in her. She had really very little stupid being in her, she had not any stupid kind of bottom to her. She did not have really very much bottom in her, she had in her gayety and sensitive being in her enough to give her a sympathetic flavor, and a very little attacking in her but enough to make successful living in her, and impatient being in her enough to make it sometimes unpleasant to live with her, and impatient and angry feeling in her enough to give a stupid being to her, and injured feeling in her enough to keep her sense of responsibility to herself alive inside her. This is a history of her.
     This is now another history of her, this is now a history of what happened to her. This is now a history of her and of Mabel Linker who lived with her.
     Mary Maxworthing was one of the children of an American man and woman who had made a good enough living at farming.
     Mary Maxworthing was one of the children of an American man and woman who had made a good enough living at farming. They still had a farm and some of their children lived with them. Their name was changed some in their American living. Mary came to Gossols to work for her living when she was about sixteen. She first earned her living by taking care of children. She did not find this very amusing. She liked children but she wanted freedom. She began to think when she was about twenty-one of some other way of earning a living. She thought over everything, a little dairy to sell butter and eggs and milk and cream but she did not like that kind of work and it takes a great deal of money to begin. She thought of millinering but she was not a very good hand at hat trimming, she was very good at sewing but she knew nothing about cutting and fitting. She was then about twenty-five when she came to this decision, when she decided to do dress-making. As I was saying she knew then nothing about cutting and fitting, she was very good at sewing, she had good ideas about dresses for women, she had a good sense of fashion. So then she sent for her relation Mabel Linker who lived down in the country to come and join her. She went on working at being nursery governess to earn a living for the two of them while Mabel was to learn cutting and fitting and dress-making from the beginning. Mabel Linker was soon very clever at dress-making. Soon they were ready to begin. Then they started an establishment for dress-making in that part of Gossols where richer people were living. They did not then have success with their undertaking.
     Mary Maxworthing had a certain gayety in being. She had not liked farming, she did not like taking care of children. She did not like farming for that is a dreary way of living, not that she was a discontented person but she liked a certain gayety in living. She had no wildness in her being, she was not really a thoughtless person, she was not a very conscientious person but she was conscientious enough for ordinary living, she was conscientious the way most people are in living, there was nothing reckless in her being. She had a kind of responsibility to others and to herself in her living, she was not at all a wild or stupid being.
     They were at first not successful in their business of dress-making, they had troubles with each other and with not having money enough to keep going until they had customers enough to pay them.
     As I say Mary Maxworthing never liked the Maxworthing way of living, she never liked farming, it was to her a dreary way of living, she did not find it very pleasant taking care of children because it left her no freedom for living. She preferred dress-making and it was very disappointing when she was at first not successful in this undertaking.
     They had not enough customers to pay them to keep going, Mary Maxworthing soon used up all the money she had saved up to begin this undertaking, soon then the two of them began quarreling, soon then they had for a while to give up dress-making; Mary had to go back to her place and once more begin to earn a living by taking care of children.
     This was the way it came to an end for them the first effort for freedom, for Mary from nursery governessing, for Mabel Linker from sewing other people's cutting and fitting.
     Mary Maxworthing had in her something of a despairing feeling when her undertaking came to such a helpless ending, when she had to go back to nursey governessing, when she had not any of the money left that she had been saving for five years for this undertaking. Mary Maxworthing always had a certain stylish elegance in dressing, she had a good sense for fashion and a feeling for gayety without any wildness in her living. There was nothing wild in her being, nothing reckless ever in her feeling, she had pride but not too much pride in her being, she had a reasonable amount of good sense and conscientiousness in living, she had started her undertaking with too much ambition for the money she had been saving and the talent she and Mabel Linker had between them. That is to say more money so that they could keep on longer waiting for people to know them or more distinction in their working might have kept them going; but with the money they had for waiting and the talent there was in the two of them they were too ambitious in their beginning. What they had between them was not enough for such an ambitious beginning as they had made of their undertaking. Mary Maxworthing liked distinction, she had a certain ambition, she had not much attacking in her for winning but she had a certain kind of certainty of successful doing; she had impatient being, she had a certain gayety in her being. Mabel Linker had not any sense in her to keep any one else with her from doing anything foolish, not that she would of herself have made such a beginning but she had not the energy in her for beginning, she had not the kind of sense in her for judging, she could never have any judgment of any way of beginning. Then they had trouble in their living. As I was saying Mary Maxworthing had gayety in being, she had very little almost not any anxious being; she had independent dependent being and attacking was her natural way of fighting but there was very little fighting in her being, she had in her as a bottom a little but not very much sensitive being; she had in her as a bottom almost not any stupid being. She had in her some impatient being, she could have in her a little injured being, she could have in her angry feeling, but mostly it was the impatient being that sometimes was nervous impatient being that made her interfering, that made her always sure of knowing, that was the stupid side to her being, that made the trouble between her and Mabel Linker when they were then working together. Mabel Linker had very little common sense, she had little twittering flighty ways in her but she was a good sewer, she was a good cutter and fitter, she was almost a brilliant dress-maker, but she had very little stability in her character. Mary Maxworthing began with almost an idolising of her and then there came trouble when they began living together. Then the money was all gone and they both had become a little bitter. Mary had then almost a despairing feeling in her. Mabel took it all as a thing that had happened to her and now there would be some other thing to happen to her. She took it not so much lightly as as a thing that was over and that was all there was about it to her.
     This was only the beginning of trouble for her but she always took it as it came to her, not lightly but simply and flightily as it happened to her.
     Mary Maxworthing had in her something of a despairing feeling at the failure of her undertaking, at her return to nursery governessing. At first she did not even get a position so she lived on with Mabel Linker who did enough work to support her. Mary Maxworthing had a miserable feeling then in her, she had not an anxious feeling in her because a living for her was always around her, she could always find people to employ her she had this always in her, but she had for the first time in her living in her a discouraged sense of failure.
     Mary Maxworthing then had, for her, a very helpless dreary feeling at the failure of her undertaking. As I was saying it was not in her anxious being for she knew very well she never would have any real trouble earning a living but there was then for her no freedom in living, no distinction for her in the future. So she had in her, for her, really a despairing feeling. It was not a desperately despairing feeling but it was really, for her, a despairing feeling. She and Mabel Linker still continued to live together. Mabel Linker went to work right away for another dress-maker, it was hard work for her but this did not make really any very great difference to her. For a little while then Mary depended on Mabel Linker to support her, after a little while some one employed her to help out in a little store near her. She stayed there all of that summer. Later she went to a friend of the last person who had employed her as a nursery governess for her, and every one who knew her thought that the future now was settled for her.
     Every one who knew her had a certain feeling about her. Every one who knew her had a secure feeling about her. There are many ways every one knowing any one feel in them the character of that one. There are very many ways then for people to feel other people around them. There are some who make almost every one who knows them have the same kind of feeling about them. In a way Mary Maxworthing was such a one. Mabel Linker was not the least bit such a one, almost every one who knew her had a different feeling. With Mary Maxworthing it was a different matter, some liked her and some did not like her, but whether one liked her or did not like her each one had about the same feeling about her, about the same estimate of her. It is a queer thing though with women and with men too like her, they can astonish every one and Mary Maxworthing had this in her. There are always many millions of women and of men being made like her. This is now a history of the feeling about her, the estimate every one who knew her had of her, of the thing in her that was a surprise to every one who knew her. The kind she is will then always come to be clearer. Always one must remember each one has their own way of feeling other people's nature.
     There are then some kinds of men and women, some men and some women of some kinds of nature who have it in them to have every one who knows them have about the same idea of them. Some may like, some may dislike them, some may be indifferent to such a one but all of them every one who ever comes to know that one has about the same estimate of such a one. This is now a history of such a one.
     Mary Maxworthing was then such a one. She had a certain gayety in living but no wildness no recklessness in her being and no one would think such a thing from the certain pleasant gayety she had in living. She had attacking in fighting but really very little attacking fighting in her living and no one ever expected not to have it more strongly in her being than it really came to be seen as it came out of her. She had no reserve of fighting in her, every one who knew her knew just about how much strength she had in her. She had a little impatient being, a little unpleasant temper in her, a little insistence on interfering in her, a small amount of pride in her, enough of sensitive response to make a reasonable sweetness in her, a little tendency to angry and injured feeling in her but not very much of this in her not more of this in her than any one would expect from her. She had a reasonable sense of responsibility in her, a reasonable efficiency in her, she was in short what every one thought her. She could still then surprise every one who knew her. She was still then really what every one had thought her. It was what no one who knew her ever thought of her that the quality of being in her could ever lead her to have a certain thing happen, it did happen to her, this is a history of her then and how she really was what every one thought her. She really was what every one thought her, every one who knew her had about the same estimate of her, every one who knew her was surprised by something that happened to her. This is a history then of what happened to her and then how later a reasonable success came to her.