The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (39 page)

     There were then in Gossols in Mrs. Hersland's middle living three sets of women who did her dress-making. There were Lillian Rosenhagen and her sister Cecilia who worked for her in the house with her to make the ordinary dresses for her and her little girl Martha and sometimes for the governess then living with her, there was the woman who lived in a small house near the Herslands then in that part of Gossols where no other rich people were living, who did just working over and ordinary sewing, and there was then another dress-maker who lived in the richer quarter who made Mrs. Hersland's best dresses for her. There will be now a history of her.
     There is a certain kind of women who have in them independent dependent nature in a certain kind of way in them. They have not servant girl nature in them. They have their own way of having independent dependent nature in them. This is now a history of one of them.
     Such of them have more or less fear in them, they have very little in them of anxious being, they have some impatient feeling in them, they have courage in them and they have fear in them and they have a little impatient being and they have in them almost nothing of anxious being. As I was saying they have not in them servant girl nature in them.
     They have not in them servant girl nature in them, they have in them very little of anxious being, they have in them only a little impatient being, they have not in them much injured being, they can have in them angry feeling. There are many ways then for women and for men to have anxious being in them. These then have very little anxious being in them, they have independent dependent nature in them and so they have attacking in them as their natural way of fighting. There are many women who seem from the kind of movement in them when they are doing anything in any way attacking anything in their living, there are many women who have then always in them something that seems anxious being in them. Such of them have attacking in them as their way of fighting but they have weakness in them or a sensitive being in them or a vague being in them or an empty being in them as the bottom of them. These then have attacking as their natural way of fighting, many of them have attacking in them always only from some one else acting on them, some one else giving them ideas for fighting, some one else using them for living, some one else needing them for protecting or else because they are at the last need in them for some other thing. There are many many millions always being made of such of them, they are wonderful instruments for other people's living, they never know it in them that it is other people's lives they are living. As I was saying these have in them always in attacking something that is like anxious being in them, but this is mostly not true of them, it is mostly not true of them that they have anxious being in them for most of them and there are many men and many women of them most of them have not it in them to have consciously and most of them not to have any kind of fear in them. One must have some kind of fear in one to have in one really anxious being, servant girl women have always such fear in them, dependent independent men and women have almost always fear in them, these have bottom earth feeling in them, they feel their pulses to see if they are living, any one with bottom earth feeling in them can have at some time fear in them, but this is not what is now being written.
     Independent dependent men and women have attacking as a natural way of fighting in them, all independent dependent men and women have attacking as the natural way of fighting, the kind of independent dependent men and women, these of that kind of them who have very much in them of weakness or sensitive being or vague or vacant being as the bottom of them such of them have in them when it comes to them to have fighting in their living and most of them have a great deal in them of fighting, some of them have it in them then to conquer whatever it is in the bottom of them that does not help them in fighting, some of them harden themselves harden the weakness in them so that it does not stop them, some fill themselves with angry feeling to concentrate in them the vague being they have inside them as a bottom to them, some just go ahead with the vacant being lying there in them they go ahead and it gives to such of them a being like an anxious feeling but it is not fear in such of them it is only the vacant being in them, some get so strongly in them the fighting for some one around them that it takes away from them in attacking the sensitive feeling that might stop them. In all of such of them there is to one looking at them anxious being in them but this is not really in them, it is only the halting that comes to them in attacking from the kind of bottom in them, from the weakness or sensitive being or vague or empty being that makes the bottom of each one of such of them. These then have in them halting in attacking, they have not in them really anxious being, they have not in them really fear in them, they have not in them servant girl nature in them, they have not in them dependent independent nature in them, they have not really resisting in them, they may help their attacking by a kind of stubbornness in them but this is never in such of them real resisting in them and sometime every one who lives near them learns to know it in them. The halting in them then in their beginning an attacking gives to such of them then an appearance to them not of timidity in them but of anxious being in them, sometimes anxious nervous being in them. They have not then really anxious being in them. Some time there will be here a history of many of them.
     The other seamstress who did sewing for Mrs. Hersland in her middle living, the one who lived in that part of Gossols where richer people were living, the one that made for Mrs. Hersland then all her best dresses the ones she used for visiting, this woman then was of a kind of woman as I was saying who have in them very little of anxious being or impatient being, sometimes impatient being, a little of angry feeling, sometimes some injured feeling. She was not of them I have just been describing. She is near them but not altogether of them. She has not much attacking in her living, she has more gayety in being. She is of the kind very closely like the kind I have been just describing but she is of a different kind of women from them. She has not in her any servant girl being, she has in her independent dependent being, she has in her attacking as her way of fighting but she has not much fighting in her being, she has gayety in her being, she does good dress-making, this is now a history of her kind of women and there are men too who have this kind of being. This is a history of a kind then of men and women. This is a history of one woman of this kind of men and women.
     Always then of each kind of being there are both men and women. Sometimes there are more women of that kind of them mostly made than men, sometimes there is a kind of being that comes oftener as men than women. Almost always in every kind of being there are millions always being made of men and women of that kind of them. Men have in them and women have in them some of them dependent independent nature in them, some of them independent dependent nature in them. There are many kinds of each of these two kinds of being men and women have in them. In all the kinds that are always in the world existing of each kind of them there are always some millions of men and some millions of women. This will come out clearer always as the history of every one of every kind who ever has or has had or will have human being in them comes to be written.
     So then there was a woman Mary Maxworthing who did dress-making in Gossols and lived in that part of Gossols where richer people were living, there was this woman who had independent dependent being and had in her a certain kind of being and there are always being made many millions of women and there are always being made millions of men who have in them the same kind of being she had in her in her living.
     She had attacking in her as her way of fighting but she did not have much fighting in her living, she had in her very little anxious being, she had in her a very little impatient being, she had gayety in living, she could have prudish feeling, she was a good work-woman.
     Mary Maxworthing was clever not brilliant in dress-making, she had gayety in her living, she had very little in her of attacking, she had almost nothing in her of anxious being, she had very little fear in living, she had a little in her of impatient being, she had sometimes in her, injured feeling. She had not in her a stupid bottom to her, she had very little stupid being in her. She was as I said a very good dress-maker. She had as I was saying independent dependent being, when there was fighting in her there was attacking but there was very little fighting in her living, when there was weakness in her of the bottom giving way in her that is always in those who have the dependent side of independent dependence in them, when that weakness came to be yielding in her it was a sensitive yielding in her but there was very little of this in her, there was very little weakness or sensitive yielding at the bottom in her. She had almost no fear in her, very little bottom yielding in her, she had almost no anxious feeling ever in her, she had almost no stupid being at the bottom of her, she had a little impatient being in her, she had sometimes a little injured being in her; any stupid being in her was connected with the little impatient being in her, with the injured feeling sometimes in her.
     The difference between her and the other kind of women I have been just describing, the kind who have much bottom in them of sensitive being or weakness or vague being or empty being, with much in them of attacking, with very little in them of anxious being for they have not in them the kind of sense that gives fear inside them to men and women, the women then who have halting in attacking halting that looks like nervous anxious being in them not like timid being, the difference between such ones and such a one as the dress-maker Mary Maxworthing will come out later in the history of the Hersland daughter Martha, in the history of Julia Dehning. Now there is a history of Mary Maxworthing and her business of dress-making.
     Mary Maxworthing then lived her own life, had her own way of dressmaking, she was not of them who lived other people's lives in living There are many of such of them many who have an instrument nature in them, many who have attacking in them as their natural way of fighting but have at the bottom of them sensitive being or weakness as the bottom of them or vacant being as the bottom of them or vague being as the bottom of them. Such of them have it in them often to live other people's lives in their living, some have it less some have it more in them, it depends in them on the proportion in them of fighting power in them, in the relation in them of the attacking instinct in them with the other bottom in them, it depends in them on the way stubbornness is in them, in the way stupid being is in them; the more there is in them of stupid being or stubborn being in them the more there is in such of them of resisting, of living their own lives in their living. There are some of them who have sensitive being or vacant being or weakness as a bottom to them or vague being in them to so completely fill them that it makes a personality in them and then they live their own lives in their living.
     Sometime there will be some understanding of this nature in men and in women, soon it will show in Martha Hersland and in Julia Dehning, soon it will show a little in a sister of the first governess the Herslands had ever living with them. Mr. Hersland had a nature in him that has a connection with the kind of nature that I have been just describing, a connection in one direction, Mary Maxworthing had a connection in another direction. The relation who worked with Mary Maxworthing a young woman Mabel Linker had a far away connection with such of them. Lillian Rosenhagen was not at all of this kind of them, she had a vague bottom but she had dependent independent being. She was of a different nature.
     Mary Maxworthing then in her later living was very successful in her business of dress-making, I don't mean to say she ever made a fortune, she never did make a fortune, she earned a very good living. She was very successful in dress-making, she never earned real distinction, she never in living did really very personal creating but she lived her own life in her living and she had a fairly successful life from her beginning to her ending. She had men who wanted her to marry them, when she was thirty-five she did marry and she married very well then, not well enough to give up dress-making but well enough to be very comfortable in living.
     She had working with her Mabel Linker, she had other girls working for her but Mabel Linker was a kind of a partner. She was the daughter of a cousin of Mary's sister-in-law and was a very good almost brilliant dress-maker. Sometimes the two had a hard time keeping together, Mabel Linker was a little flighty sometimes and sometimes Mary Maxworthing had an impatient temper, always she had a little impatient being in her.
     I like to tell it better in a woman the kind of nature a certain kind of men and women have in living, I like to tell about it better in a woman because it is clearer in her and I know it better, a little, not very much better. One can see it in her sooner, a little, not very much sooner, one can see it as simpler, things show more nicely separated in her and it is therefore easier to make it clear in a description of her. Such a nature as Mary Maxworthing had in her is of the kind of nature that many men and women have in them. It is clearer in her than in a man like her and so I will describe it in her. Sometime it will be clearer just why and how different her kind in a man is from her, this will all be clearer later. Now this is a history of Mary Maxworthing, and her dress-making and how Mabel Linker lived with her.
     It is very interesting that every one has in them their kind of stupid being. It is very important to know it in each one which part in them, which kind of feeling in them is connected with stupid being in them. Sometime there will be a history of every kind of stupid being in every kind of human being in every part of the living of each one from their beginning to their ending.
     Always it is important to know it in each one the stupid being in them and the way it is connected in them with the important being in them that makes each one that one, sometime then there will be a long history of every kind of way any one can have stupidity inside them. It is very important then to know it in each one and sometime every one looking at any one can learn to know it in that one. Sometime every one looking at any one will learn to know it in that one. Now there will be a description of it in every one. Now there will be a description of it in Mary Maxworthing.