The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (631 page)

SIR TOBY BELCH

She'll none o' the count: she'll not match above

She doesn't want the count: she refuses to marry above

her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I

her level, not in wealth, age, or intelligence; I

have heard her swear't. Tut, there's life in't,

have heard her swear it. Tut, there's still hope for you,

man.

man.

SIR ANDREW

I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' the

I'll stay a month longer. I am a man of the

strangest mind i' the world; I delight in masques

strangest mind in the world; I delight in plays

and revels sometimes altogether.

and dances and parties all the time.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?

Are you any good at these pastimes, knight?

SIR ANDREW

As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the

As any man in Illyria, whatever he is, under the

degree of my betters; and yet I will not compare

level of those better than me; and yet I will not compete

with an old man.

with an old man.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?

What is your particular talent, knight?

SIR ANDREW

Faith, I can cut a caper.

By my faith, I can dance.

SIR TOBY BELCH

And I can cut the mutton to't.

And I can compete with that.

SIR ANDREW

And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong

And I think I can do gymnastics simply as strong

as any man in Illyria.

as any man in Illyria.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have

Why are these things hidden? Why do

these gifts a curtain before 'em? are they like to

these gifts have a curtain before them? Are they meant

take dust, like Mistress Mall's picture? why dost

to gather dust? Why do

thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in

You not dance your way to church and come home in

a coranto? My very walk should be a jig; I would not

glory? My very walk should be a jig; I would not

so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What

so much urinate but in a fountain. What

dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in?

do you mean? Is the world meant for hiding virtues?

I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy

I did think, by the excellent structure of your

leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.

legs, that they were meant for dancing.

SIR ANDREW

Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a

Yes, my legs are strong, and they do well

flame-coloured stock. Shall we set about some revels?

in bright clothing. Shall we go about having some fun?

SIR TOBY BELCH

What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus?

What else we should do? Weren't we born under the sign of Taurus?

SIR ANDREW

Taurus! That's sides and heart.

Taurus [as in the zodiac sign]! That gives me heart.

SIR TOBY BELCH

No, sir; it is legs and thighs. Let me see the


caper; ha! higher: ha, ha! excellent!

Let me see the leap; ha! higher: ha, ha! excellent!

Exeunt

Enter VALENTINE and VIOLA in man's attire

VALENTINE

If the duke continue these favours towards you,

If the duke continues these favors towards you,

Cesario, you are like to be much advanced: he hath

Cesario, you are likely to be highly promoted: he has

known you but three days, and already you are no stranger.

only known you for three days, and already you are no stranger.

VIOLA

You either fear his humour or my negligence, that

You either fear his changing his mind or me no longer doing well, that makes you

you call in question the continuance of his love:

question the continuing of his love:

is he inconstant, sir, in his favours?

is he inconsistent, sir, in his favors?

VALENTINE

No, believe me.

No, believe me.

VIOLA

I thank you. Here comes the count.

Thank you. Here comes the count.

Enter DUKE ORSINO, CURIO, and Attendants

DUKE ORSINO

Who saw Cesario, ho?

Who saw Cesario, hm?

VIOLA

On your attendance, my lord; here.

Serving you, sir; here.

DUKE ORSINO

Stand you a while aloof, Cesario,

Stand away for a bit, Cesario,

Thou know'st no less but all; I have unclasp'd

You know nothing less than everything; I have revealed

To thee the book even of my secret soul:

To you even the book of my secret soul:

Therefore, good youth, address thy gait unto her;

Therefore, good young man, walk to her;

Be not denied access, stand at her doors,

Do not be denied access to her, stand at her doors,

And tell them, there thy fixed foot shall grow

And tell them that you will stand there

Till thou have audience.

Until she will see you.

VIOLA

Sure, my noble lord,

Sure, my noble lord,




If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow

If she is so full of sadness

As it is spoke, she never will admit me.

As it is said, she will never let me in.

DUKE ORSINO

Be clamorous and leap all civil bounds

Be loud and rude

Rather than make unprofited return.

Rather than return empty-handed.

VIOLA

Say I do speak with her, my lord, what then?

So if I do speak with her, sir, what then?

DUKE ORSINO

O, then unfold the passion of my love,

Oh, then explain to her the depth of my love,

Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith:

Surprise her with an explanation of my devotion:

It shall become thee well to act my woes;

It will be good for you to help my troubles;

She will attend it better in thy youth

She will react to it better from someone young

Than in a nuncio's of more grave aspect.

Than from an older suitor.

VIOLA

I think not so, my lord.

I do not think so, sir.

DUKE ORSINO

Dear lad, believe it;

Dear boy, believe it;

For they shall yet belie thy happy years,

For they will still be tricked by your youth,

That say thou art a man: Diana's lip

That say you are a man: Diana's lip

Is not more smooth and rubious; thy small pipe

Is not more smooth and plump; your slender throat

Is as the maiden's organ, shrill and sound,

Is like a young lady's, high-pitched and strong,

And all is semblative a woman's part.

And everything is like a woman's.

I know thy constellation is right apt

I know your destiny is meant

For this affair. Some four or five attend him;

For this business. Some for or five of you help him;

All, if you will; for I myself am best

All, if you wish; for I myself am best

When least in company. Prosper well in this,

When I am alone. Do well in this,

And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord,

And you will live as freely as your lord,

To call his fortunes thine.

To call his fortunes yours.

VIOLA

I'll do my best

I'll do my best

To woo your lady:

To romance your lady:

Aside

yet, a barful strife!

Oh, but such trouble and distress!

Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife.

I am now in love with him myself.

Exeunt

SCENE V. OLIVIA'S house.

Enter MARIA and Clown

MARIA

Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will

No, either tell me where you have been, or I will

not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in

not open my lips even wide enough for a hair in

way of thy excuse: my lady will hang thee for thy absence.

giving you an excuse: my lady will hang you for your absence.

Clown

Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this

Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this world

world needs to fear no colours.

does not need to fear any colors.

MARIA

Make that good.

Explain that.

Clown

He shall see none to fear.

He shall have nothing to fear.

MARIA

A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that

A good solid answer: I can tell you where that

saying was born, of 'I fear no colours.'

saying came from, the one of 'I fear no colors.'

Clown

Where, good Mistress Mary?

Where, good Mistress Mary?

MARIA

In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.

In the wars; and it is very risky of you to say it.

Clown

Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those

Well, may God give wise people wisdom, and for those

that are fools, let them use their talents.

that are fools, let them use their other abilities.

MARIA

Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent; or,

Yet you will be hanged for being gone for so long; or

to be turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you?

being fired, is that not as good as a hanging to you?

Clown

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and,

Many good hangings prevent bad marriages; and,