The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (533 page)

If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it,

If you do love beautiful Hero, cherish it,

And I will break with her, and with her father,

And I will tell her, and her father,

And thou shalt have her.

And you shall have her.

Was't not to this end

Wasn’t this the reason

That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?

That you began to tell me such a pretty story?

CLAUDIO

How sweetly you do minister to love,

How sweetly you treat love,

That know love's grief by his complexion!

You that know love’s grief by his facial expression!

But lest my liking might too sudden seem,

But in case my liking might seem too sudden,

 I would have salv'd it with a longer treatise.

I would have made a longer speech to salvage it.

DON PEDRO

What need the bridge much broader than the flood?

Why should the bridge be much wider than the river?

The fairest grant is the necessity.

The best reason for anything is necessity.

Look, what will serve is fit: 'tis once, thou lov'st,

Look, we will go with whatever works: it is once, that you love,

And I will fit thee with the remedy.

And I will provide you with a solution.

I know we shall have revelling to-night:

I know we shall have dancing tonight:

 I will assume thy part in some disguise,

I will pretend to be you in some disguise,

And tell fair Hero I am Claudio;

And tell beautiful Hero that I am Claudio;

And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart,

And bring our hearts together,

And take her hearing prisoner with the force

And convince her with the force

And strong encounter of my amorous tale:

And strength of my romantic tale:

Then, after to her father will I break;

Then, I will tell her father afterwards;

And the conclusion is, she shall be thine.

And the conclusion is, she shall be yours.

In practice let us put it presently.

Let us quickly put this into practice.

[Exeunt.]

A room in LEONATO'S house

[Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, meeting.]

LEONATO

How now, brother! Where is my cousin your son? Hath he provided this music?

Good to see you, brother! Where is my cousin, your son? Has he provided this music?

ANTONIO

He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell you strange news that you yet dreamt not of.

He is very busy with it. But, brother, I can tell you strange news that you never dreamed of.

LEONATO

Are they good?

Is it good news?

ANTONIO

As the event stamps them: but they have a good cover; they show well outward. The prince and Count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in my orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine: the prince discovered to Claudio that he loved my niece your daughter and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance; and if he found her accordant, he meant to take the present time by the top and instantly break with you of it.

It seems to be that way: at least they outwardly appear well. The prince and Count Claudio, walking in a shaded alley in my orchard, were overheard talking by a man of mine: the prince told Claudio that he loved my niece, your daughter, and meant to announce it tonight in a dance; and if he found her willing, he meant to seize the moment and instantly let you know.

LEONATO

Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?

Is the man who told you this a sensible one?

ANTONIO

A good sharp fellow: I will send for him; and question him yourself.

A good sharp fellow: I will ask him to come; and you can question him yourself.

LEONATO

No, no; we will hold it as a dream till it appear itself: but I will acquaint my daughter withal, that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you, and tell her of it.

No, no; we will treat it like a dream until it appears as reality: but I will tell my daughter of this, so that she will be prepared for an answer, if eventually this turns out to be true. You go and tell her about it.

[Several persons cross the stage.]

Cousins, you know what you have to do. O! I cry you mercy, friend; go you with me, and I will use your skill. Good cousin, have a care this busy time.

Relatives, you know what you have to do. Oh! I plead with you, friend; come with me, and I will use your skill. Good cousin, take care during this busy time.

[Exeunt]

Another room in LEONATO'S house.

[Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE.]

CONRADE

What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad?

What on earth, my lord! Why are you so unreasonably sad?

DON JOHN

There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the sadness is without limit.

There is nothing in this particular occasion that causes it; therefore the sadness is without limit.

CONRADE

You should hear reason.

You should be reasonable.

DON JOHN

And when I have heard it, what blessings brings it?

And if I choose to hear reason, what good does it do me?

CONRADE

If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.

If not an immediate solution, it might at least help you bear it patiently.

DON JOHN

I wonder that thou, being, -as thou say'st thou art,--born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man's leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no man's business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his humour.

I am surprised by you being so optimistic, trying to impose morality on me. I cannot hide what I am [an illegitimate son]: I must be sad when I have a reason to, and smile at no man’s jokes; eat when I am hungry, and wait for no man’s leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and follow no man’s business; laugh when I am cheerful, and not go by the moods of someone else.

CONRADE

Yea; but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest.

Yes, but you must not be too obvious about it until you may do it freely. You have lately stood out against your brother, and he has recently brought you into his favor once more; where it is impossible for you to succeed except by the good circumstances you make yourself: it is necessary that you bright about the season for your own harvest.

DON JOHN

I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me.

I would rather be a thorn in a hedge than a rose in his favor; and it better fits my blood to be hated by all than to find a way to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied that I am a plain and simple villain. I am kept silent and condemned to poverty; therefore I have decided not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do as I liked: in the meantime, let me be what I am, and do not try to change me.

CONRADE

Can you make no use of your discontent?

Can’t you do something useful with your unhappiness?

DON JOHN

I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here?

It is the only thing I use it all. Who comes here?

[Enter Borachio.]

What news, Borachio?

What news [do you have], Borachio?

BORACHIO

I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.

I came here from a lavish dinner: the prince, your brother, is royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you information about an intended marriage.

DON JOHN

Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?

Is it something that I can use to cause mischief? Who is he, the fool that is condemning himself to the chaos of having a wife?

BORACHIO

Marry, it is your brother's right hand.

Why, it is your brother’s right-hand man.

DON JOHN

Who? the most exquisite Claudio?

Who? The ‘wonderful’ Claudio?

BORACHIO

Even he.

Yes, him.

DON JOHN

A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he?

A proper gentleman! And who is he interested in?

BORACHIO

Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

Why, Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

DON JOHN

A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?

A very daring young person! How did you learn about this?

BORACHIO

Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras, and there heard it agreed upon that the prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.

As I was smoking, the prince and Claudio came in my direction, hand in hand, for a serious meeting: I hid behind the stairs, and there I heard it agreed that the prince would woo Hero for himself, and having got her, give her to Count Claudio.

DON JOHN