The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (534 page)

Come, come; let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?

Let us go: this may give my displeasure something to feed upon. That young start-up will bring glory to my overthrowing him: if I can wrong him in any way, I bless myself in every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?

CONRADE

To the death, my lord.

Even to the death, my lord.

DON JOHN

Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of my mind! Shall we go to prove what's to be done?

Let us go eat at the great supper: their cheerfulness is even better when I am subdued. If only the cook agreed with me! Shall we go to find out what is to be done?

BORACHIO

We'll wait upon your lordship.

We will serve your lordship.

[Exeunt.]

A hall in LEONATO'S house.

[Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, and Others.]

[Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, and Others.]

LEONATO

Was not Count John here at supper?

Wasn’t Count John here at supper?

ANTONIO

I saw him not.

I did not see him.

BEATRICE

How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I am heart-burned an hour after.

How sour that gentleman looks! Whenever I see him I have heartburn even an hour after.

HERO

He is of a very melancholy disposition.

He has a very melancholy personality.

BEATRICE

He were an excellent man that were made just in the mid-way between him and Benedick: the one is too like an image, and says nothing; and the other too like my lady's eldest son, evermore tattling.

He would be an excellent man, a man that was made exactly midway between him and Benedick: one is too much like a statue, and says nothing; and the other too much like my lady’s eldest son, constantly talking.

LEONATO

Then half Signior Benedick's tongue in Count John's mouth, and half Count John's melancholy in Signior Benedick's face,--

Then half Sir Benedick’s tongue in Count John’s mouth, and half Count John’s melancholy in Sir Benedick’s face, -

BEATRICE

With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world ifa' could get her good will.

With some dancing skills, uncle, and enough money, such a man would win any woman in the world if only he could get her goodwill.

LEONATO

By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.

My goodness, niece, you will never get yourself a husband, if you are so sharp in your talking.

ANTONIO

In faith, she's too curst.

Indeed, she’s too cursed.

BEATRICE

Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God's sending that way; for it is said, 'God sends a curst cow short horns;' but to a cow too curst he sends none.

Too cursed is more than cursed: I shall reduce what God sends that way; for it is said, ‘God sends a cursed cow short horns,’ but to a cow too cursed he sends none.

LEONATO

So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns?

So, by being too cursed, God will send you no horns?

BEATRICE

Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord! I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen.

Just that, if he send me no husband; for which blessing I pray in thanks to him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord! I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face: I would rather be poor.

LEONATO

You may light on a husband that hath no beard.

You may end up with a husband that has no beard.

BEATRICE

What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man; and he that is more than a youth is not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him: therefore I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-ward, and lead his apes into hell.

What should I do with him? Dress him in my clothes and make him my lady-in-waiting? He that has a beard is more than a youth, and he that has no beard is less than a man; and he that is more than a youth is not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him: therefore I will accept a small sum of money and lead his apes into hell.

LEONATO

Well then, go you into hell?

Well then, do you go into hell?

BEATRICE

No; but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say, 'Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no place for you maids: 'so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long.

No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old man with an adulterous wife, and say, ‘Go to heaven, Beatrice, go to heaven; this is no place for you unmarried women.” So I deliver up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and we live there as happily as the day is long.

ANTONIO

[To Hero.] Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled by your father.

Well, niece, I trust you will obey your father.

BEATRICE

Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty to make curtsy, and say, 'Father, as it please you:'-- but yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another curtsy, and say, 'Father, as it please me.'

Yes, by my faith; it is my cousin’s duty to curtsy, and say, ‘Father, as it pleases you.’  But yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make a different curtsy, and say, ‘Father, as it pleases me.’

LEONATO

Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.

Well, niece, I hope to see you one day supplied with a husband.

BEATRICE

Not till God make men of some other metal than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be over-mastered with a piece of valiant dust? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl? No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my brethren; and truly, I hold it a sin to match in my kinred.

Not until God makes men of some other material than dirt. Wouldn’t it cause sorrow to a woman to be ruled over with a piece of brave dust? To make an account of her life to a clod of wayward soil? No, uncle, I’ll have none: Adam’s sons are my brothers; and truly, I think it is a sin to commit incest like that.

LEONATO

Daughter, remember what I told you: if the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.

Daughter, remember what I told you: if the prince does show interest in you in that way, you know your answer.

BEATRICE

The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not wooed in good time: if the prince be too important, tell him there is measure in everything, and so dance out the answer. For, hear me, Hero: wooing, wedding, and repenting is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque- pace: the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a measure, full of state and ancientry; and then comes Repentance, and with his bad legs, falls into the cinque-pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave.

The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you are not courted quickly: if the prince thinks himself too important, tell him there is moderation in everything, and so dance out the answer. For, here me, Hero: wooing, wedding, and regretting is like a Scotch jig, a measure, and a five-step: the first part is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and fully fantastical; the wedding, modest and mannerly as a measure, full of dignity and tradition; and then comes Regret, and with his bad legs, falls into the five-step faster and faster, until he sinks into his grave.

LEONATO

Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.

My relative, you have a clever view of death.

BEATRICE

I have a good eye, uncle: I can see a church by daylight.

I have good vision, uncle: I can see a church by daylight.

LEONATO

The revellers are entering, brother: make good room.

The partiers are entering, brother: give them room.

[Enter, DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHASAR, DON JOHN, BORACHIO, MARGARET, URSULA, and Others, masked.]

DON PEDRO

Lady, will you walk about with your friend?

Lady, will you walk about with me, your friend?

HERO

So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and especially when I walk away.

As long as you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and especially when I walk away.

DON PEDRO

With me in your company?

HERO

I may say so, when I please.

I might say so, when I please.

DON PEDRO

And when please you to say so?

And what will make it please you to say so?

HERO

When I like your favour; for God defend the lute should be like the case!

When I like your attention, for God defend the lute should be its case!

DON PEDRO

My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove.

My mask is Philemon’s roof; Jove [the Roman name for Zeus] is inside the house.

HERO

Why, then, your visor should be thatch'd.

Why, then, your mask should be thatched.

DON PEDRO

Speak low, if you speak love.

Speak softly, if you speak lovingly.

[Takes her aside.]

BALTHAZAR

Well, I would you did like me.

Well, I wish you did like me.

MARGARET

So would not I, for your own sake; for I have many ill qualities.

I do not, for your own sake; for I have many flaws.

BALTHAZAR

Which is one?

What is one of them?

MARGARET

I say my prayers aloud.

BALTHAZAR

I love you the better; the hearers may cry Amen.

That makes me love you more; the hearers may reply, ‘Amen.’

MARGARET

God match me with a good dancer!

BALTHAZAR

Amen.

MARGARET