The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (415 page)

ROSALINE Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off.

Don’t speak another word, my maids; break off this conversation, break it off.
BIRON By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!

By heaven, we’re all beaten soundly without blood drawn by your scoffing.
FERDINAND Farewell, mad wenches; you have simple wits.

Goodbye, crazy ladies; you are dim-witted.  
PRINCESS Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovits.

Twenty goodbyes, my cold Muscovites.  
Exeunt FERDINAND, Lords, and BlackamoorsAre these the breed of wits so wonder'd at?
Are these guys so witty as everyone says?

BOYET Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puff'd out.
Diminished they are, when you speak.  

ROSALINE Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.

Their wits are plump and in good-condition; gross, gross; fat, fat.  
PRINCESS O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!

O poor in wit, poor mockery of the king!
Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
Don’t you think they will hang themselves tonight?

Or ever, but in vizards, show their faces?

Or ever show their faces without masks on?

This pert Biron was out of countenance quite.
This impertinent Biron seemed quite upset.  

ROSALINE O, they were all in lamentable cases!

O, they were all in pathetic states!
The king was weeping-ripe for a good word.
The king was ready to weep to earn a kind word.  

PRINCESS Biron did swear himself out of all suit.

Biron did swear himself excessively and to no avail.  
MARIA Dumain was at my service, and his sword:

Dumain claimed to be at my service, and his sword:
No point, quoth I; my servant straight was mute.
I said was dull and blunted; that shut him up.  

KATHARINE Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his heart;

Lord Longaville said, I came over his heart;
And trow you what he called me?

And can you guess what he called me?
PRINCESS Qualm, perhaps.

A heartsickness, perhaps.  
KATHARINE Yes, in good faith.

Yes, you guessed it.  
PRINCESS Go, sickness as thou art!
Go, sickness that you are!

ROSALINE Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
Well, one could find better wits among apprentices.  

But will you hear? the king is my love sworn.
But will you listen to me? The king swore his love to me.  

PRINCESS And quick Biron hath plighted faith to me.

And fast-talking Biron has claimed to be faithful to me.  
KATHARINE And Longaville was for my service born.

And Longaville was born to serve me.  
MARIA Dumain is mine, as sure as bark on tree.
Dumain is mine, as bark is to a tree.

BOYET Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear:
Madam, and pretty mistresses, please listen:

Immediately they will again be here
They will soon be here again

In their own shapes; for it can never be
Without masks; for they will never be

They will digest this harsh indignity.
able to deal with this humiliation.  

PRINCESS Will they return?

Will they return?
BOYET They will, they will, God knows,

They will, they will, God knows,
And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows:
and they will leap for joy, though they have been beaten down:

Therefore change favours; and, when they repair,
Therefore switch the charms that they will identify you by, and when they come back,

Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
You will bloom like sweet roses in the summer air.  

PRINCESS How blow? how blow? speak to be understood.

What do you mean bloom? bloom? Speak so I can understand you.  
BOYET Fair ladies mask'd are roses in their bud;

Fair ladies, roses are concealed in their bud;
Dismask'd, their damask sweet commixture shown,
Unmasked their mingling red and white mixture is shown,

Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
As are angels in the clouds, or roses blooming.  

PRINCESS Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do,

Away, riddler! Tell us what to do,
If they return in their own shapes to woo?
If they return without their masks to woo us?

ROSALINE Good madam, if by me you'll be advised,

Good madam, if you’ll let me advise you,
Let's, mock them still, as well known as disguised:
Let’s continue to mock them, as we know they are disguised:

Let us complain to them what fools were here,
Let us complain to them about the fools that were here,

Disguised like Muscovites, in shapeless gear;
Disguised like Muscovites, in unshapely apparel;

And wonder what they were and to what end
And we will wonder aloud who they were and what they wanted

Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penn'd
Their shallowness shows and their actions vilely motivated

And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
And the way they carry themselves so ridiculous,

Should be presented at our tent to us.
Should be shown to us at our tent.  

BOYET Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand.
Ladies, go to your tents: the men are coming back.  

PRINCESS Whip to our tents, as roes run o'er land.

Quickly let’s go to our tents, as swiftly as deer run over land.  
Exeunt PRINCESS, ROSALINE, KATHARINE, and MARIARe-enter FERDINAND, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in their proper habitsFERDINAND Fair sir, God save you! Where's the princess?

Fair sir, God save you! Where’s the princess?
BOYET Gone to her tent. Please it your majesty

She’s gone to her tent.  Would it please your majesty
Command me any service to her thither?

To command me to go ask anything of her there?
FERDINAND That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.

That she would allow me to speak to her.
BOYET I will; and so will she, I know, my lord.
I will; and I know she will too, my lord.  

ExitBIRON This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons pease,
This guy gathers wit as pigeons eat peas,

And utters it again when God doth please:
And is able to speak wittily whenever God pleases:

He is wit's pedler, and retails his wares
He is a salesman of wit, and sells his goods

At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs;
At funerals and parties, meetings, markets, and fairs;

And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
And we that buy it at cost, the Lord knows,

Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
Don’t have the grace to do it justice

This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve;
He flaunts his success with women like they were charms on a bracelet

Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve;
If he had been Adam, he would have tempted Eve with the apple;

A' can carve too, and lisp: why, this is he
And he can woo with his affability too: why, this is he

That kiss'd his hand away in courtesy;
that gives his hand as a courtesy

This is the ape of form, monsieur the nice,
This is the ape of manners, master of the demanding,

That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice

That, when he gambles, he lectures the dice
In honourable terms: nay, he can sing

About their honor: No, he can sing
A mean most meanly; and in ushering
with a fairly decent voice; and in being a gentleman

Mend him who can: the ladies call him sweet;
allows anyone who can improve him to do so: the ladies say he’s sweet;

The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet:
The stairs kiss his feet as he walks on them:

This is the flower that smiles on every one,
This is the flower that smiles at every one,

To show his teeth as white as whale's bone;
To show how his teeth are as white as a whale’s bone;

And consciences, that will not die in debt,
And anyone who doesn’t want to be in debt to anyone,

Pay him the due of honey-tongued Boyet.
Pay what is owed to sweet-talking Boyet

FERDINAND A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
I hope he gets a blister on his sweet tongue,  

That put Armado's page out of his part!
Since he put Armado’s page out of his part!

BIRON See where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou

Look where Boyet comes!  What were your manners like
Till this madman show'd thee? and what art thou now?
before you started acting like a madman? And how do you behave now?

Re-enter the PRINCESS, ushered by BOYET, ROSALINE, MARIA, and KATHARINEFERDINAND All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day!
All hail, sweet madam, and what a great day it is!

PRINCESS 'Fair' in 'all hail' is foul, as I conceive.

I believe you mean ‘hail’ as in a hail storm.  
FERDINAND Construe my speeches better, if you may.

Please understand I mean to speak well for you.
PRINCESS Then wish me better; I will give you leave.

Then greet me better; or I will leave.  
FERDINAND We came to visit you, and purpose now

We came to see you, with the purpose of
To lead you to our court; vouchsafe it then.
bringing you to our court; Please grant me that.  

PRINCESS This field shall hold me; and so hold your vow:

We can speak here just as well; and so keep your promise:
Nor God, nor I, delights in perjured men.

Neither God, nor myself, take pleasure in liars.  
FERDINAND Rebuke me not for that which you provoke:

Don’t get on to me for that which you instigated:
The virtue of your eye must break my oath.

The power of your eye makes me break my promise.
PRINCESS You nickname virtue; vice you should have spoke;

You use the word virtue; but you should have said vice;
For virtue's office never breaks men's troth.
For virtue never causes a man to break his promise.  

Now by my maiden honour, yet as pure
Now as I am a lady, and a pure virgin

As the unsullied lily, I protest,
like a lily, I refuse,

A world of torments though I should endure,
Even if I had were tortured,

I would not yield to be your house's guest;
I wouldn’t go to your house;

So much I hate a breaking cause to be
Because I hate to be the reason for breaking

Of heavenly oaths, vow'd with integrity.
heavenly promises, that were sworn with integrity.

FERDINAND O, you have lived in desolation here,
O, you don’t get out much,

Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
You don’t see anyone, no one visits you, which is a shame.

PRINCESS Not so, my lord; it is not so, I swear;

That’s not true, my lord; It’s not the case, I swear;
We have had pastimes here and pleasant game:
We have entertained here and played games:

A mess of Russians left us but of late.
Four Russians have only just left.  

FERDINAND How, madam! Russians!

What! Russians!
PRINCESS Ay, in truth, my lord;

Yes, it’s true, my lord;
Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
Fit, gallant men of stature who wanted to court me.

ROSALINE Madam, speak true. It is not so, my lord:

Madam, tell the truth.  That’s not the case, my lord:
My lady, to the manner of the days,
My lady, like the days pass,

In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
gives praise where it is undeserved just to be nice.  

We four indeed confronted were with four
The four of us did meet four men

In Russian habit: here they stay'd an hour,
In Russian clothes: they stayed here an hour,