The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (413 page)

Yes, madam, and moreover
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,

About a thousand verses of a faithful lover,
A huge translation of hypocrisy,

A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.

Horribly compiled, profound stupidity.
MARIA This and these pearls to me sent Longaville:

This and these pearls were sent to me by Longaville:
The letter is too long by half a mile.

The letter is too long by half a mile.
PRINCESS I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart

I think the same thing. Don’t you wish in your heart
The chain were longer and the letter short?

That the string of pearls was longer and the letter was shorter?
MARIA Ay, or I would these hands might never part.

Yes, or I wouldn’t want to marry..
PRINCESS We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.

We are such smart girls to make fun of our lovers like this.
ROSALINE They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.

 
They are worse fools to get themselves mocked like this.
That same Biron I'll torture ere I go:

That Biron man, I’ll torture before I go:
O that I knew he were but in by the week!

O If I knew that he was trapped permanently!
How I would make him fawn and beg and seek

I would make him fawn over me and beg and seek
And wait the season and observe the times

And wait through the seasons and watch time go by
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes

And spend his extravagant wits in fruitless rhymes
And shape his service wholly to my hests

And make him my slave
And make him proud to make me proud that jests!

And make him take satisfaction in glorifying me, the one who makes fun of him
So perttaunt-like would I o'ersway his state

And like holding a winning hand at cards, I would oversway his state
That he should be my fool and I his fate.

So that he would be my fool and I his fate.
PRINCESS None are so surely caught, when they are catch'd,

No one is as surely caught, when then are caught,
As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd,

As wit that is turned foolish: recklessness that comes from wisdom,
Hath wisdom's warrant and the help of school

Has wisdom’s permission and the help of schooling
And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool.

And the gift of wit to grace an educated fool.
ROSALINE The blood of youth burns not with such excess

The blood of youth does not burn with such excess
As gravity's revolt to wantonness.

As a wise man’s rebellion to being unrestrained.
MARIA Folly in fools bears not so strong a note

Recklessness in fools is not as strong
As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote;

As foolery in the wise, when wit grows fond;
Since all the power thereof it doth apply

Since all of its power is then applied
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.

To prove, by wit, their worth in foolishness.

PRINCESS Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.

Here comes Boyet, and cheerfulness in his face.
Enter BOYETBOYET O, I am stabb'd with laughter! Where's her grace?

O I am stabbed with laughter! Where is her grace?
PRINCESS Thy news Boyet?

What is your news Boyet?
BOYET Prepare, madam, prepare!

Prepare yourself, madam, prepare yourself!
Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are
Arm yourselves, girls! The mounted confronters

Against your peace: Love doth approach disguised,
Are against your peace: Love approaches, disguised,

Armed in arguments; you'll be surprised:
Armed with arguments; you will be overcome by surprise attack:

Muster your wits; stand in your own defence;
Rally your wits; stand and defend yourselves;

Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
Or hide your heads like coward, and run from here.

PRINCESS Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they

That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say.
That are charging this way to meet us? Tell us, scout.

BOYET Under the cool shade of a sycamore
Under the cool shade of a sycamore tree

I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour;
I was planning to take a nap for about half an hour;

When, lo! to interrupt my purposed rest,
When, suddenly! Interrupting my planned rest,

Toward that shade I might behold addrest
Toward that shade I could see approaching

The king and his companions: warily
The king and his companions: warily

I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
I hid in a nearby thicket,

And overheard what you shall overhear,
And overheard what I will tell you now,

That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
Which is that pretty soon they will be here in disguise.

Their herald is a pretty knavish page,
Their announcer is a pretty crafty page,

That well by heart hath conn'd his embassage:
That has learned by heart his message:

Action and accent did they teach him there;
They taught him gestures and accent

'Thus must thou speak,' and 'thus thy body bear:'
‘Say it like this’ and ‘make your body do this:’

And ever and anon they made a doubt
And every now and again they expressed a fear

Presence majestical would put him out,
That your majestic presence would discomfort him,

'For,' quoth the king, 'an angel shalt thou see;
‘Since,’ said the king, ‘you will see an angel;

Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.'
yet don’t be afraid, but speak boldly.’

The boy replied, 'An angel is not evil;
The boy replied, ‘An angel is not evil;

I should have fear'd her had she been a devil.'
I would have be afraid of her if she was a devil.’

With that, all laugh'd and clapp'd him on the shoulder,
With that, they all laughed and clapped him on the shoulder,

Making the bold wag by their praises bolder:
Making the brave little joker bolder with their praises:

One rubb'd his elbow thus, and fleer'd and swore
One rubbed his elbow then, and grinned and swore

A better speech was never spoke before;
That a better speech has never been spoken before;

Another, with his finger and his thumb,
Another, snapping his fingers,

Cried, 'Via! we will do't, come what will come;'
Cried, ‘Let’s go! We will do it, come what may;’

The third he caper'd, and cried, 'All goes well;'
The third he leapt playfully and cried, ‘All goes well;’

The fourth turn'd on the toe, and down he fell.
The fourth turned on the toe, and fell down.

With that, they all did tumble on the ground,
With that, they all tumbled to the ground,

With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
With such energetic laughter, so profound,

That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
That in this excess of laughter appears,

To cheque their folly, passion's solemn tears.
In order to keep their silliness in check, passion’s solemn tears in their eyes.

PRINCESS But what, but what, come they to visit us?

And what? And what, are they coming to visit us?
BOYET They do, they do: and are apparell'd thus.

They are, they are: and they are dressed
Like Muscovites or Russians, as I guess.

Like Muscovites or Russians, is my guess.
Their purpose is to parle, to court and dance;

Their purpose is to talk, to court, and dance;
And every one his love-feat will advance

And every one of them will perform a feat of love
Unto his several mistress, which they'll know

For his severe mistress, which they will know
By favours several which they did bestow.

By all the tokens that they have bestowed.
PRINCESS And will they so? the gallants shall be task'd;

Oh, will they now? The gallant men shall be put to the task;
For, ladies, we shall every one be mask'd;
For ladies, every one of us will be masked;

And not a man of them shall have the grace,
And not a man of them shall have the pleasure,

Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.
Despite our clothes, to see a lady’s face.

Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
Rosaline, you will wear this token,

And then the king will court thee for his dear;
And then the king will court you as his dear;

Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,
Here, you take this, my sweet, and give me yours,

So shall Biron take me for Rosaline.
So Biron will think that I am Rosaline.

And change your favours too; so shall your loves
And you two exchange your gifts too; so your loves

Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
Will woo the wrong one, deceived by the switch.

ROSALINE Come on, then; wear the favours most in sight.

Come on, then; make sure your wear the gifts where they are in plain sight.
KATHARINE But in this changing what is your intent?

But what’s your intent in this changing?
PRINCESS The effect of my intent is to cross theirs:
The effect of my intent is to test theirs:

They do it but in mocking merriment;
They only do it for fun, to mock us;

And mock for mock is only my intent.
And my intent is only to mock them back.

Their several counsels they unbosom shall
And their private intentions and they confide

To loves mistook, and so be mock'd withal

To their mistaken loves, will be mocked moreover

Upon the next occasion that we meet,
On the next time that we meet,

With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
With our faces exposed, to talk and greet.

ROSALINE But shall we dance, if they desire to't?

But should we dance, if they as us to?
PRINCESS No, to the death, we will not move a foot;
No, on pain of death, we won’t budge one foot;

Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace,
And when they read their speeches we will give them no politeness,

But while 'tis spoke each turn away her face.
But while it is spoken each turn away her face.

BOYET Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,
Why something so cruel will kill the speaker’s heart,

And quite divorce his memory from his part.
And very much separate his memory from his chosen lady.

PRINCESS Therefore I do it; and I make no doubt
That’s why I will do it; and I don’t doubt

The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out
That the rest will never come in, if he is comfused

There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown,
There’s no game more fun than someone’s game being overthrown by yours,

To make theirs ours and ours none but our own:
To make their fun ours, and ours only fun for ourselves:

So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
That’s what we’ll so, making fun of their little game,

And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame.
And they, well mocked, will leave in shame.

Trumpets sound withinBOYET The trumpet sounds: be mask'd; the maskers come.

The trumpet sounds: get your masks on; the maskers come.
The Ladies mask

The Ladies put their masks on
Enter Blackamoors with music; MOTH; FERDINAND, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in Russian habits, and maskedMOTH All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!—

All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!---
BOYET Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.