The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (333 page)

let my mother know how much I hate her,

and where I have run to; I will write to the King

the things I do not say to him; this gift of his

we'll send me to those Italian fields

where noble fellows battle: war is nothing

compared to a joyless house and a hated wife.

PAROLLES

Will this capriccio hold in thee? art sure?

Will you stick to this? Are you certain?

BERTRAM

Go with me to my chamber, and advise me.

I'll send her straight away: to-morrow

I'll to the wars, she to her single sorrow.

Come to my room with me and advise me.

I'll send her away at once: tomorrow

I'll go to the war, and she can go to her spinsterhood.

PAROLLES

Why, these balls bound; there's noise in it. 'Tis hard:

A young man married is a man that's marr'd:

Therefore away, and leave her bravely; go:

The king has done you wrong: but, hush, 'tis so.

Exeunt

 Why, these balls bounce; there is substance in it. It's a hard thing:

a young man who is married is a man who is spoilt:

so get going, have the courage to leave her; go:

the King has done you wrong: that's a fact.

Enter HELENA and Clown

HELENA

My mother greets me kindly; is she well?

My mother sends me kind greetings; is she well?

Clown

She is not well; but yet she has her health: she's

very merry; but yet she is not well: but thanks be

given, she's very well and wants nothing i', the

world; but yet she is not well.

She is not well; but she's healthy: she's

very happy; but she's not well: but thank

goodness she's very well and wants for nothing;

however she is not well.

HELENA

If she be very well, what does she ail, that she's

not very well?

If she's very well, what's wrong with her, that makes

her not well?

Clown

Truly, she's very well indeed, but for two things.

She is really very well indeed, except for two things.

HELENA

What two things?

What two things?

Clown

One, that she's not in heaven, whither God send her

quickly! the other that she's in earth, from whence

God send her quickly!

One, that she's not in heaven, may God send her there

quickly! The other is that she is on earth, may God

send her from here
quickly!

Enter PAROLLES

PAROLLES

Bless you, my fortunate lady!

Bless you, lucky lady!

HELENA

I hope, sir, I have your good will to have mine own

good fortunes.

I hope, Sir, that you are happy for me to be lucky.

PAROLLES

You had my prayers to lead them on; and to keep them

on, have them still. O, my knave, how does my old lady?

I prayed for you to be lucky, and now I pray

for you to stay lucky. Oh, knave, how is my former lady?

Clown

So that you had her wrinkles and I her money,

I would she did as you say.

If you could have her wrinkles and I could have her money

I'd like her to be as you said.

PAROLLES

Why, I say nothing.

But I said nothing.

Clown

Marry, you are the wiser man; for many a man's

tongue shakes out his master's undoing: to say

nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to have

nothing, is to be a great part of your title; which

is within a very little of nothing.

That makes you a wise man; many men's

tongues are the downfall of their masters: to say

nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to have

nothing, is a very important part of your position; which

basically amounts to nothing.

PAROLLES

Away! thou'rt a knave.

Get lost! You're a knave.

Clown

You should have said, sir, before a knave thou'rt a

knave; that's, before me thou'rt a knave: this had

been truth, sir.

You should have said, sir, that before a knave you are

a knave; meaning, you were a knave before I was:

that would be the truth, sir.

PAROLLES

Go to, thou art a witty fool; I have found thee.

Get away, you are a witty fool; I know your sort.

Clown

Did you find me in yourself, sir? or were you

taught to find me? The search, sir, was profitable;

and much fool may you find in you, even to the

world's pleasure and the increase of laughter.

Do you see me in yourself, sir? Or were you

taught to be like me? It was a successful lesson, sir;

and may you find much of the fool in you, for the

world's pleasure and more laughter.

PAROLLES

A good knave, i' faith, and well fed.

Madam, my lord will go away to-night;

A very serious business calls on him.

The great prerogative and rite of love,

Which, as your due, time claims, he does acknowledge;

But puts it off to a compell'd restraint;

Whose want, and whose delay, is strew'd with sweets,

Which they distil now in the curbed time,

To make the coming hour o'erflow with joy

And pleasure drown the brim.

I must say this is a good knave, well fed too.

Madam, my lord must go away tonight;

he has some very serious business to attend to.

He knows that you have a right to the

full rights of marriage;

but he has been forced to put it off;

but the delay will make it all the sweeter,

the pleasures will be refined in the extra time,

so that when the hour comes your cup

will overflow with joy.

HELENA

What's his will else?

What else does he want?

PAROLLES

That you will take your instant leave o' the king

And make this haste as your own good proceeding,

Strengthen'd with what apology you think

May make it probable need.

That you will leave the King at once

and get away as quickly as possible,

giving whatever apology you think

is appropriate.

HELENA

What more commands he?

What else does he order?

PAROLLES

That, having this obtain'd, you presently

Attend his further pleasure.

That once you have permission to go

you wait for his further orders.

HELENA

In every thing I wait upon his will.

I wait for his commands in everything.

PAROLLES

I shall report it so.

I will tell him this.

HELENA

I pray you.

Please do.

Exit PAROLLES

Come, sirrah.

Come on sir.

Exeunt

Enter LAFEU and BERTRAM

LAFEU

But I hope your lordship thinks not him a soldier.

But I hope your lordship does not think he is a soldier.

BERTRAM

Yes, my lord, and of very valiant approof.

He is, my lord, and one who has proved very brave.

LAFEU

You have it from his own deliverance.

He told you this himself.

BERTRAM

And by other warranted testimony.

And I've heard from other sources.

LAFEU

Then my dial goes not true: I took this lark for a bunting.

Then my instincts were off: I thought this lark was a bunting.

BERTRAM

I do assure you, my lord, he is very great in

knowledge and accordingly valiant.

I can promise you, my lord, he is

very wise and his bravery matches it.

LAFEU

I have then sinned against his experience and

transgressed against his valour; and my state that

way is dangerous, since I cannot yet find in my

heart to repent. Here he comes: I pray you, make

us friends; I will pursue the amity.

Then I have been unfair to his experience

and wronged his bravery; and that makes

my position perilous, since I can't find it

in myself to apologise. Here he comes: please,

make us friends; I'll do my part.

Enter PAROLLES

PAROLLES

[To BERTRAM] These things shall be done, sir.

These things shall be done, sir.

LAFEU

Pray you, sir, who's his tailor?

Now tell me sir, who's his tailor?

PAROLLES