The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (330 page)

Enter BERTRAM, LAFEU, and PAROLLES

LAFEU

They say miracles are past; and we have our

philosophical persons, to make modern and familiar,

things supernatural and causeless. Hence is it that

we make trifles of terrors, ensconcing ourselves

into seeming knowledge, when we should submit

ourselves to an unknown fear.

They say there are no more miracles; and we have our

scientists to make supernatural and unexplainable things

seem modern and familiar. And so

we disregard terrors, burying ourselves

in what we think we know, when actually we should be feeling

some unknown fear.

PAROLLES

Why, 'tis the rarest argument of wonder that hath

shot out in our latter times.

Why, it's the greatest miracle that has

happened in our times.

BERTRAM

And so 'tis.

That's true.

LAFEU

To be relinquish'd of the artists,--

To be given up on by the skilled ones-

PAROLLES

So I say.

That's what I mean.

LAFEU

Both of Galen and Paracelsus.

By both Galen and Paracelus.

PAROLLES

So I say.

That's what I'm talking about.

LAFEU

Of all the learned and authentic fellows,--

Of all the genuine learned men-

PAROLLES

Right; so I say.

Yes, that's what I've been saying.

LAFEU

That gave him out incurable,--

They said that he was incurable-

PAROLLES

Why, there 'tis; so say I too.

Yes, I know; that's what I've said.

LAFEU

Not to be helped,--

That he couldn't be helped-

PAROLLES

Right; as 'twere, a man assured of a—

Right; he was a man who had been promised-

LAFEU

Uncertain life, and sure death.

An uncertain life, and certain death.

PAROLLES

Just, you say well; so would I have said.

That's it, you've hit the nail on the head; that's just what I would have said.

LAFEU

I may truly say, it is a novelty to the world.

I really must say, it's quite unheard-of.

PAROLLES

It is, indeed: if you will have it in showing, you

shall read it in--what do you call there?

It is, indeed: if you want the proof of it you

shall read it in-what to call it?

LAFEU

A showing of a heavenly effect in an earthly actor.

Divine work on a mortal being.

PAROLLES

That's it; I would have said the very same.

That's the one; just what I would have said.

LAFEU

Why, your dolphin is not lustier: 'fore me,

I speak in respect—

Why, a dolphin has less energy: I must say,

I'm talking about-

PAROLLES

Nay, 'tis strange, 'tis very strange, that is the

brief and the tedious of it; and he's of a most

facinerious spirit that will not acknowledge it to be the—

No, it's strange, it's very strange, that's

the long and the short of it: and it would take someone

with a very wicked spirit to deny that it is-

LAFEU

Very hand of heaven.

Truly the hand of God.

PAROLLES

Ay, so I say.

Yes, that's what I say.

LAFEU

In a most weak—

pausing

and debile minister, great power, great

transcendence: which should, indeed, give us a

further use to be made than alone the recovery of

the king, as to be--

pausing

generally thankful.

In a very weak–

(pause)

And feeble worker, there is great power, unimaginable

knowledge: and in fact we should use it

for other things apart from just saving

the King, so we can be–

(pause)

generally grateful.

PAROLLES

I would have said it; you say well. Here comes the king.

That's what I would have said; you've said it well. Here comes the King.

Enter KING, HELENA, and Attendants. LAFEU and PAROLLES retire

LAFEU

Lustig, as the Dutchman says: I'll like a maid the

better, whilst I have a tooth in my head: why, he's

able to lead her a coranto.

Lustig (full of health), as a Dutchman would say: I'll like a girl

better, whilst I still have teeth: why, he's

able to run ahead of her.

PAROLLES

Mort du vinaigre! is not this Helen?

Good gracious! Isn't that Helen?

LAFEU

'Fore God, I think so.

By God, I think it is

KING

Go, call before me all the lords in court.

Sit, my preserver, by thy patient's side;

And with this healthful hand, whose banish'd sense

Thou hast repeal'd, a second time receive

The confirmation of my promised gift,

Which but attends thy naming.

Go and summon to me all the Lords of the court.

Sit down, you lifesaver, at your patient's side;

and from this healthy hand, whose numbness

you have removed, take for a second time

the assurance that I will give what I promised,

I'm just waiting for you to say what you want.

Enter three or four Lords

Fair maid, send forth thine eye: this youthful parcel

Of noble bachelors stand at my bestowing,

O'er whom both sovereign power and father's voice

I have to use: thy frank election make;

Thou hast power to choose, and they none to forsake.

Fair maid, look them over: all these young

noble bachelors are mine to give,

I have the power of a king and of a father

over them: choose whichever you want;

you have the power of selection, and none of them can say no.

HELENA

To each of you one fair and virtuous mistress

Fall, when Love please! marry, to each, but one!

Mayeach of you get a fair and virtuous mistress

when love thinks the time is right! Just one for each, mind you!

LAFEU

I'ld give bay Curtal and his furniture,

My mouth no more were broken than these boys',

And writ as little beard.

I'd give my bay horse and his saddlery,

to have a full set of teeth like these boys,

and to be as freshfaced.

KING

Peruse them well:

Not one of those but had a noble father.

 Look them over carefully, every one of them has a noble father.

HELENA

Gentlemen, Heaven hath through me restored the king to health.

Gentlemen, through me heaven has given the King back his health.

All

We understand it, and thank heaven for you.

We know that, and we thank heaven for you.

HELENA

I am a simple maid, and therein wealthiest,

That I protest I simply am a maid.

Please it your majesty, I have done already:

The blushes in my cheeks thus whisper me,

'We blush that thou shouldst choose; but, be refused,

Let the white death sit on thy cheek for ever;

We'll ne'er come there again.'

I am a simple maid, and that's my proudest boast,

that I am simply a maid.

If your Majesty permits, I have already chosen:

the blushes in my cheeks whisper to me,

‘we are blushing at your choice; but if you are refused,

then white death will sit on your cheek forever;

we will never be back.’

KING

Make choice; and, see,

Who shuns thy love shuns all his love in me.

Make your choice, and I promise

that anyone who rejects your love is rejecting mine as well.

HELENA

Now, Dian, from thy altar do I fly,

And to imperial Love, that god most high,

Do my sighs stream. Sir, will you hear my suit?

Now, Diana, I fly away from your altar,

and go to the emperor of love, the highest god,

that's where my prayers are going now. Sir, will you listen to my request?

First Lord

And grant it.

And give it.

HELENA

Thanks, sir; all the rest is mute.

Thank you sir; the rest is silence.

LAFEU

I had rather be in this choice than throw ames-ace

for my life.

I would rather be part of this selection than throw a double one

for my life.

HELENA

The honour, sir, that flames in your fair eyes,

Before I speak, too threateningly replies:

Love make your fortunes twenty times above

Her that so wishes and her humble love!

The honour, sir, that is burning in your fair eyes,

answers me too threateningly before I speak:

may love give you something twenty times better

than the one who wishes that for you and her humble love.

Second Lord

No better, if you please.

I don't want any better than you, if that's allowed.

HELENA

My wish receive,

Which great Love grant! and so, I take my leave.

Take my best wishes for that,

and I hope the god of love grants it! And so, I'm going.

LAFEU

Do all they deny her? An they were sons of mine,

I'd have them whipped; or I would send them to the

Turk, to make eunuchs of.

Are they all refusing her? If they were sons of mine

I'd have them whipped; or I would send them to the

Turks, to have them made into eunuchs.

HELENA

Be not afraid that I your hand should take;

I'll never do you wrong for your own sake:

Blessing upon your vows! and in your bed

Find fairer fortune, if you ever wed!

Don't be afraid that I would take your hand;

I would never want to do harm: