The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (163 page)

PISTOL.

God bless thy lungs, good knight!

God bless your lungs, good knight!

FALSTAFF.

Come here, Pistol; stand behind me.  O, if I had had to have

made new liveries, I would have bestowed the thousand pound I

borrowed of you. But 'tis no matter; this poor show doth better:

this doth infer the zeal I had to see him.

Come here, Pistol; stand behind me. Oh, if I had

had some new uniforms made, I could have used the thousand

pounds I borrowed from you. But it doesn't matter; my

poor clothes look better: they'll show him how keen I was to see him once.

SHALLOW.

It doth so.

That's true.

FALSTAFF.

It shows my earnestness of affection,--

It shows how genuine my affection is–

SHALLOW.

It doth so.

It does.

FALSTAFF.

My devotion,--

My devotion–

SHALLOW.

It doth, it doth, it doth.

It does, it does, it does.

FALSTAFF.

As it were, to ride day and night; and not to deliberate, not to

remember, not to have patience to shift me,--

It shows I have ridden day and night, without stopping to think,

not to prepare, not even to change my shirt–

SHALLOW.

It is best, certain.

This is certainly the best way to appear.

FALSTAFF.

But to stand stained with travel, and sweating with desire to

see him; thinking of nothing else, putting all affairs else in

oblivion, as if there were nothing else to be done but to see him.

To stand here travel stained, sweating with the eagerness to

see him; thinking of nothing else, forgetting all other business,

as if the only thing to be done in the world was to see him.

PISTOL.

'Tis "semper idem," for "obsque hoc nihil est:"  'tis all in

every part.

It's “always the same, apart from this there is nothing",

absolutely perfect.

SHALLOW.

'Tis so, indeed.

That's definitely right.

PISTOL.

My knight, I will inflame thy noble liver,

And make thee rage.

Thy Doll, and Helen of thy noble thoughts,

Is in base durance and contagious prison;

Haled thither

By most mechanical and dirty hand:

Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto's snake,

For Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth.

My knight, I shall stir up your noble

blood with anger.

Your Doll, and Helen of whom you think so well,

are kept in foul captivity in a filthy prison;

dragged there

by the rudest, dirtiest hands:

you should bring on revenge like the snake of the Furies,

for Doll is in prison. Pistol is only speaking the truth.

FALSTAFF.

I will deliver her.

I will save her.

[Shouts, within, and the trumpets sound.]

PISTOL.

There roar'd the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.

The trumpet fanfares are sounding like the roaring of the sea.

[Enter the King and his train, the Lord Chief-Justice among

them.]

FALSTAFF.

God save thy grace, King Hal; my royal Hal!

God save your Grace, King Hal; my Royal Hal!

PISTOL.

The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp of fame!

May heaven guard and keep you, most noble royal descendant!

FALSTAFF.

God save thee, my sweet boy!

God save you, my sweet boy!

KING.

My lord chief-justice, speak to that vain man.

My Lord Chief Justice, speak to that foolish man.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Have you your wits? know you what 'tis you speak?

Are you mad? Do you know what you're saying?

FALSTAFF.

My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!

My King! My God! I'm talking to you, my love!

KING.

I know thee not, old man:  fall to thy prayers;

How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!

I have long dream'd of such a kind of man,

So surfeit-swell'd, so old, and so profane;

But, being awaked, I do despise my dream.

Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace;

Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape

For thee thrice wider than for other men.

Reply not to me with a fool-born jest:

Presume not that I am the thing I was;

For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,

That I have turn'd away my former self;

So will I those that kept me company.

When thou dost hear I am as I have been,

Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,

The tutor and the feeder of my riots:

Till then, I banish thee, on pain of death,

As I have done the rest of my misleaders,

Not to come near our person by ten mile.

For competence of life I will allow you,

That lack of means enforce you not to evils:

And, as we hear you do reform yourselves,

We will, according to your strengths and qualities,

Give you advancement. Be it your charge, my lord,

To see perform'd the tenour of our word.

Set on.

I don't know you, old man. Go to your prayers.

White hairs do not suit a fool and a jester!

I have dreamt of this kind of man for a long time,

so stuffed, so old and so vulgar;

but having woken up I hate my dream.

Make your body slimmer, and your manners better;

leave off stuffing; you should know that your grave

is waiting, three times wider than for other men.

Don't answer me with some stupid joke;

don't imagine I am the person I was;

for God knows, and the world shall see,

that I have given up my former ways;

and I will do the same with those who were my friends.

If you hear I've gone back to my old ways,

come and see me, and you will be what you were before,

the inspiration and teacher for my bad behaviour.

Until then I banish you, on pain of death,

as I have done to everyone else who misled me,

not to come within ten miles of me.

I will allow you a small pension,

so that you don't turn to crime to support yourself;

if I hear that you have mended your ways,

I shall, according to your abilities and qualities,

give you promotion. [To the Lord Chief Justice] Make

it your business, my lord,

to see that my orders are carried out.

Let's move on.

[Exeunt King, &c.]

FALSTAFF.

Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pounds.

Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pounds.

SHALLOW.

Yea, marry, Sir John; which I beseech you to let me have

home with me.

You do indeed, Sir John, which I should like to have

to take home with me.

FALSTAFF.

That can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not you grieve at this;

I shall be sent for in private to him:  look you, he must seem

thus to the world:  fear not your advancements; I will be the man yet

that shall make you great.

That can hardly happen, Master Shallow. Don't worry about it;

he'll send for me in private: you see, he must appear like this

in public: don't worry about your promotion; I'll still be

the man who will make you great.

SHALLOW.

I cannot perceive how, unless you give me your doublet

and stuff me out with straw. I beseech you, good Sir John, let me

have five hundred of my thousand.

I can't see how, unless you give me your jacket

and stuff it with straw. Please, good Sir John,

let me have five hundred of my thousand.

FALSTAFF.

Sir, I will be as good as my word:  this that you heard was

but a colour.

Sir, I will keep my word: what you just heard was

just playacting.

SHALLOW.

A colour that I fear you will die in, Sir John.

A play in which I fear you will die, Sir John.

FALSTAFF.

Fear no colours:  go with me to dinner:  come, Lieutenant

Pistol; come, Bardolph:  I shall be sent for soon at night.

Don't worry about plays: come with me to dinner: come,

Lieutenant Pistol; come, Bardolph: I'll soon be sent for when night comes.

[Re-enter Prince John, the Lord Chief-Justice; Officers with

them.]

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Go, carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet:

Take all his company along with him.

Go, take Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet prison:

take all his friends along with him.

FALSTAFF.

My lord, my lord,--

My Lord, my lord–

CHIEF JUSTICE.

I cannot now speak: I will hear you soon.

Take them away.

I can't speak now: I'll hear your case soon.

Take them away.

PISTOL.

Si fortuna me tormenta, spero me contenta.

If fortune torments me, hope makes me happy.

[Exeunt all but Prince John and the Lord Chief-Justice.]

LANCASTER.

I like this fair proceeding of the king's:

He hath intent his wonted followers

Shall all be very well provided for;

But all are banish'd till their conversations

Appear more wise and modest to the world.

I like this fair decision of the King's:

he intends his previous followers

should all be well looked after;

but they are all banished until their behaviour

shows more wisdom and control.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

And so they are.

And so they are.

LANCASTER.

The king hath call'd his parliament, my lord.

The King has summoned his parliament, my lord.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

He hath.

He has.

LANCASTER.

I will lay odds that, ere this year expire,

We bear our civil swords and native fire

As far as France:  I heard a bird so sing,

Whose music, to my thinking, pleased the king.

Come, will you hence?

I would bet that, before the end of the year,