The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (159 page)

DAVY.

I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of Woncot

against Clement Perkes of the hill.

I must ask you, sir, to consider the case of William Visor of Woncot

against Clement Perkes of the hill.

SHALLOW.

There is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor:  that

Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.

Many complaints, Davy, have been made against that Visor:

here's a complete scoundrel, to my knowledge.

DAVY.

I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but yet, God forbid,

sir, but a knave should have some countenance at his friend's request.

An honest man, sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave is not.

I have served your worship truly, sir, this eight years; and if I cannot

once or twice in a quarter bear out a knave against an honest man, I

have but a very little credit with your worship.

The knave is mine honest friend, sir; therefore, I beseech your worship,

let him be countenanced.

I agree with your worship that he is a scoundrel, sir; but still, God forbid,

sir, that a scoundrel never get any help from his friend.

An honest man, sir, is able to speak for himself, when a

scoundrel is not.

I have served your worship truly, Sir, the past eight years; and if I cannot

once or twice in a quarter support a scoundrel against an honest man, I

wouldn’t seem to pull any weight with your Lordship.

The scoundrel is a good friend of mine, sir; therefore, I beg your worship,

give him a chance.

SHALLOW.

Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about, Davy.

[Exit Davy.]

Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, off with your boots.

Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.

You go; I say he shan't suffer. Look lively, Davy.

Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, get your

boots off.

Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.

BARDOLPH.

I am glad to see your worship.

I am glad to see your worship.

SHALLOW.

I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master Bardolph:  and

welcome, my tall fellow [to the Page]. Come, Sir John.

My sincerest thanks, kind Master Bardolph: and

welcome, my tall fellow. Come, Sir John.

FALSTAFF.

I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.

[Exit Shallow.]

Bardolph, look to our horses.

[Exeunt Bardolph and Page.]

If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four dozen of such

bearded hermits' staves as Master Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to

see the semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his:  they, by

observing of him, do bear themselves like foolish justices:  he, by

conversing with them, is turned into a justice-like serving-man:

their spirits are so married in conjunction with the participation of

society that they flock together in consent, like so many wild-geese.

If I had a suit to Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the

imputation of being near their master:  if to his men, I would curry

with Master Shallow that no man could better command his servants.

It is certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is

caught, as men take diseases, one of another: therefore let men take

heed of their company. I will devise matter enough out of this Shallow

to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of six

fashions, which is four terms, or two actions; and a' shall laugh

without intervallums.

O, it is much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest with a sad brow

will do with a fellow that never had the ache in his shoulders!

O, you shall see him laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!

I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.

Bardolph, see to our horses.

If I were sawed up into bits, I

would make four dozen walking sticks

like Master Shallow. It's a wonderful thing to

see the close correspondence between the spirits of his men and

his. By looking at him, they behave

like foolish justices; he, by talking with them,

becomes a serving man who is like a justice. Their spirits

are so closely allied, from living together

so long, they have become like one solid flock, like a bunch

of wild geese. If I wanted to bring a case before Master Shallow, I

would flatter his men by implying that they were

close to their master: if I wanted to work on his men, I would tell

Master Shallow that no man had better command

of his servants. It's obvious that either being wise or

or ignorant behaviour can be caught, as men get diseases, one

from another; so men should be careful whom they

associate with. I will get enough business out of this Shallow

to keep Prince Harry laughing continuously for the time it takes

for six fashions to pass, which is a legal year, or two

court cases, and he shall laugh without ceasing. Oh,

a lie with a little swearing, and a joke with

a sad face, will do a lot for fellow who has never

had to work! Oh, you shall see him laugh until

his face is creased like a wet cloak that was carelessly put away!

SHALLOW.

[Within.] Sir John!

Sir John!

FALSTAFF.

I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow.

I'm coming, Master Shallow; I'm coming, Master Shallow.

[Exit.]

[Enter Warwick and the Lord Chief-Justice, meeting.]

WARWICK.

How now, my lord chief-justice! whither away?

Hello there, my Lord Chief Justice! Where are you off to?

CHIEF JUSTICE.

How doth the king?

How is the King?

WARWICK.

Exceeding well; his cares are now all ended.

He's very well; he has no more worries.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

I hope, not dead.

I hope he's not dead.

WARWICK.

He 's walk'd the way of nature;

And to our purposes he lives no more.

He has gone the way nature intends;

and for us on Earth he is no longer alive.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

I would his Majesty had call'd me with him:

The service that I truly did his life

Hath left me open to all injuries.

I wish his Majesty had taken me with him:

the faithful service I gave him during his life

has left me open to attack.

WARWICK.

Indeed I think the young king loves you not.

Indeed I think that the young king does not like you.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

I know he doth not, and do arm myself

To welcome the condition of the time,

Which cannot look more hideously upon me

Than I have drawn it in my fantasy.

I know he doesn't, and I am preparing myself

to face what's coming,

which can't be any worse

than I'm imagining.

[Enter Lancaster, Clarence, Gloucester, Westmoreland, and

others.]

WARWICK.

Here comes the heavy issue of dead Harry:

O that the living Harry had the temper

Of him, the worst of these three gentlemen!

How many nobles then should hold their places,

That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort!

Here come the sad children of dead Harry:

if only the living Harry had the quality

of the worst of these three gentlemen!

If they did how many noblemen would keep their places,

who are going to have to give way to the lowest kind of people!

CHIEF JUSTICE.

O God, I fear all will be overturn'd!

O God, I fear we will all be overthrown!

LANCASTER.

Good morrow, cousin Warwick, good morrow.

Good morning cousin Warwick, good morning.

GLOUCESTER & CLARENCE.

Good morrow, cousin.

Good morning, cousin.

LANCASTER.

We meet like men that had forgot to speak.

We are meeting like men who have forgotten how to speak.

WARWICK.

We do remember; but our argument

Is all too heavy to admit much talk.

We do remember; but the thing we have to speak about

is too sad for too much talk.

LANCASTER.

Well, peace be with him that hath made us heavy!

Well, may peace be with the one who has made us sad!

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Peace be with us, lest we be heavier!

May peace be with us, in case we become sadder!

GLOUCESTER.

O, good my lord, you have lost a friend indeed;

And I dare swear you borrow not that face

Of seeming sorrow, it is sure your own.

Oh, my good lord, you have certainly lost a friend;

and I would be prepared to swear that you are not

faking that sorrow, it is definitely genuine.

LANCASTER.

Though no man be assured what grace to find,

You stand in coldest expectation:

I am the sorrier; would 'twere otherwise.

Though no man can be certain of finding good treatment,

your chances seem extremely poor:

I'm sorry; I wish it was different.

CLARENCE.

Well, you must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair;

Which swims against your stream of quality.

Well, now you must speak politely to Sir John Falstaff;

which goes against both your nature and your position.

CHIEF JUSTICE.

Sweet Princes, what I did, I did in honour,

Led by the impartial conduct of my soul;

And never shall you see that I will beg

A ragged and forestall'd remission.

If truth and upright innocency fail me,