The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (154 page)

LANCASTER.

A famous rebel art thou, Colevile.

You are famous rebel, Colevile.

FALSTAFF.

And a famous true subject took him.

And it was a famous true subject who caught him.

COLEVILE.

I am, my lord, but as my betters are

That led me hither:  had they been ruled by me,

You should have won them dearer than you have.

I am, my lord, just like my betters

who led me here: if they had done as I wanted,

you would have found it more difficult to catch them than you have.

FALSTAFF.

I know not how they sold themselves:  but thou, like a kind

fellow, gavest thyself away gratis; and I thank thee for thee.

I don't know how they sold themselves: but you, like a good

fellow, gave yourself away for free; and I thank you for it.

[Re-enter Westmoreland.]

LANCASTER.

Now, have you left pursuit?

Now, have you stopped chasing?

WESTMORELAND.

Retreat is made and execution stay'd.

The retreat has been sounded and execution postponed.

LANCASTER.

Send Colevile with his confederates

To York, to present execution.

Blunt, lead him hence; and see you guard him sure.

[Exeunt Blunt and others with Colevile.]

And now dispatch we toward the court, my lords:

I hear the king my father is sore sick:

Our news shall go before us to his majesty,

Which, cousin, you shall bear to comfort him,

And we with sober speed will follow you.

Send Colevile with his accomplices

to York, for immediate execution.

Blunt, take him away; and make sure you guard him carefully.

And now we shall go back to the court, my lords:

I hear my father the King is very ill:

our news shall go ahead of us to his Majesty,

which you, cousin, shall take to give him comfort,

and we will follow you as quickly as we can.

FALSTAFF.

My lord, I beseech you, give me leave to go through Gloucestershire:

and, when you come to court, stand my good lord, pray, in your good

report.

My Lord, I beg you, give me permission to go through Gloucestershire:

and, when you get to court, please give a good report of me, my lord.

LANCASTER.

Fare you well, Falstaff:  I, in my condition,

Shall better speak of you than you deserve.

Farewell, Falstaff: out of my good nature,

I shall speak better of you than you deserve.

[Exeunt all but Falstaff.]

FALSTAFF.

I would you had but the wit: 'twere better than your dukedom.

Good faith, this same young sober-blooded boy doth not love me;

nor a man cannot make him laugh; but that 's no marvel, he drinks

no wine. There 's never none of these demure boys come to any proof;

for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood, and making many

fish-meals, that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness; and

then, when they marry, they get wenches:  they are generally fools

and cowards; which some of us should be too, but for inflammation.

A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me

into the brain; dries me there all the foolish and dull and crudy

vapours which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive,

full of nimble fiery and delectable shapes; which, delivered o'er to

the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit.

The second property of your excellent sherris is, the warming of the

blood; which, before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale,

which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice; but the sherris

warms it and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extremes:

it illumineth the face, which as a beacon gives warning to all

the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the vital

commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their captain, the

heart, who, great and puffed up with this retinue, doth any deed of

courage; and this valour comes of sherris. So that skill in the weapon

is nothing without sack, for that sets it a-work; and learning a mere

hoard of gold kept by a devil, till sack commences it and sets it in

act and use. Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the

cold blood he did naturally inherit of his father, he hath, like lean,

sterile and bare land, manured, husbanded and tilled with excellent

endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris, that he

is become very hot and valiant. If I had a thousand sons, the first

humane principle I would teach them should be, to forswear thin

potations and to addict themselves to sack.

[Enter Bardolph.]

How now, Bardolph!

I wish you had intelligence, it would be better than your

dukedom. I swear, this young sober blooded

boy does not love me, and no man can

make him laugh; but that's no surprise, he does not

drink. None of these well-behaved boys ever

turn out well; their blood gets so cold from drinking

light drinks, and eating too much fish, that they get

a sort of girlish anaemia; and then when

they marry they father girls. They are usually

foolish cowards–which some of us would be as well,

without the drink. A good sherry has

two virtues to it. It climbs into my brain,

and removes all the foolish, dull and melancholic

spirits which surround it, makes it responsive,

quick, creative, full of agile, spirited and delightful

ideas, which when they are transferred over to the voice, the tongue

which gives birth to them, become excellent wit. The second

virtue of an excellent sherry is that it warms the blood,

which before, cold and slow, left the

liver white and pale, which is what breeds timidity

and cowardice; but sherry warms it, and

makes the blood run from the innards to the

extremities. It lights up the face, which, like a beacon,

gives a warning to all the rest of this little kingdom,

the man, to arm itself; and then all the essential commoners,

and the internal spirits, gather around their captain,

the heart; who, great and puffed up by these supporters,

can do any brave deed; and this bravery comes from

sherry. So being skilled with a weapon is nothing without

the drink, for that gets it going, and learning is just a dead

store of gold kept by a devil, until drink gets hold of it

and makes it useful. This is why Prince

Harry is brave; for the cold blood he naturally

inherited from his father he has treated like lean, sterile and

bad land, he has manured it, worked on it, cultivated it with

excellent efforts by drinking a good amount of good quality

sherry, so he has become very passionate and

brave. If I had a thousand sons, the first principle of humanity

I would teach them would be to avoid

thin drinks, and to stick to sherry.

Hello there, Bardolph!

BARDOLPH.

The army is discharged all and gone.

The army has all been discharged and left.

FALSTAFF.

Let them go. I'll through Gloucestershire; and there will I visit

Master Robert Shallow, esquire:  I have him already tempering between

my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I seal with him. Come away.

Let them go. I'll go through Gloucestershire; there I will visit

Master Robert Shallow, esquire: I've already been softening him

between my finger and thumb, and shortly I will mould him to my purposes. Come on.

[Exeunt.]

[Enter the King, the Princes Thomas of Clarence and Humphrey of

Gloucester, Warwick, and others.]

KING.

Now, lords, if God doth give successful end

To this debate that bleedeth at our doors,

We will our youth lead on to higher fields

And draw no swords but what are sanctified.

Our navy is address'd, our power collected,

Our substitutes in absence well invested,

And every thing lies level to our wish:

Only, we want a little personal strength;

And pause us, till these rebels, now afoot,

Come underneath the yoke of government.

Now, Lords, if God has given a successful end

to this bloody struggle on our doorstep,

we will take our youths on to higher places,

and only draw blessed swords.

The Navy is ready, our forces are gathered,

those who will stand substitute for us have been sworn in,

and everything is prepared as we want it:

all I need is a little personal strength;

and we shall pause, until those rebels who are still

at large come under the power of the government.

WARWICK.

Both which we doubt not but your majesty

Shall soon enjoy.

And we're sure that soon your Majesty

will have both those things.

KING.

Humphrey, my son of Gloucester,

Where is the prince your brother?

Humphrey, my son of Gloucester,

where is your brother the Prince?

GLOUCESTER.

I think he 's gone to hunt, my lord, at Windsor.

I think he's gone to hunt, my lord, at Windsor.

KING.

And how accompanied?

Who went with him?

GLOUCESTER.

I do not know, my lord.

I do not know, my lord.

KING.

Is not his brother, Thomas of Clarence, with him?

Isn't his brother, Thomas of Clarence, with him?

GLOUCESTER.

No, my good lord; he is in presence here.

No, my good lord; he is attending you here.

CLARENCE.

What would my lord and father?

What does my Lord and Father wish?

KING.

Nothing but well to thee, Thomas of Clarence.