Read The 1-2-3 Magic Workbook for Christian Parents: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 Online

Authors: Thomas W. Phelan,Chris Webb

Tags: #Family & Relationships, #Parenting, #General

The 1-2-3 Magic Workbook for Christian Parents: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12

BOOK: The 1-2-3 Magic Workbook for Christian Parents: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
6.63Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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1-2-3 Magic

Effective Discipline for Children 2-12

Third Edition

Other Materials by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.

Available from ParentMagic, Inc.

1-2-3 Magic

Managing Difficult Behavior in Children 2-12

Video and DVD

More 1-2-3 Magic

Encouraging Good Behavior, Independence and Self-Esteem

Video and DVD

1-2-3 Magic
Videos and Book also available in Spanish

Surviving Your Adolescents

How to Manage—and
Let Go Of—

Your 13-18 Year Olds

Book, Video, DVD and Audio

Self-Esteem Revolutions in Children

Understanding and Managing the Critical Transitions

in Your Child’s Life

Book and Audio

All About Attention Deficit Disorder

Symptoms, Diagnosis and Treatment:

Children and Adults

Book, Video, DVD and Audio

Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder

Essential Information for ADD Adults

Video

“I Never Get ANYTHING!”

How to Keep Your Kids from

Running Your Life

Book

To order:

call 1-800-442-4453

or visit www.parentmagic.com

1-2-3 Magic

Third Edition

Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.

ParentMagic, Inc.

Glen Ellyn, Illinois

Copyright © 2003, ParentMagic, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book

may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or

mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage

and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Any

resemblance between persons described in this book and actual persons, living

or dead, is unintentional. This book is not intended to replace appropriate

diagnosis and/or treatment, when indicated, by a qualified mental health

professional or physician.

Illustrations by Dan Farrell

Distributed by Independent Publishers Group

Printed in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4

For more information, contact:

ParentMagic, Inc.

800 Roosevelt Road

Glen Ellyn, Illinois 60137

to Eileen

Contents

Preface to the Third Edition

i

Parenting: Not for the Faint of Heart!

1

PART I: STRAIGHT THINKING

1. Is It Magic?

7

2. Stop Behavior and Start Behavior

11

3. The Little Adult Assumption

15

4. The Two Biggest Discipline Mistakes

19

PART II: CONTROLLING OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR

5. Counting Obnoxious Behavior

25

6. Twenty Questions

39

7. What to Do in Public

55

8. Variations: Sibling Rivalry, Tantrums

and Pouting

63

9. The Kickoff Conversation

67

PART III: NO CHILD WILL THANK YOU

10. The Six Kinds of Testing

and Manipulation

73

11. Counting in Action

87

12. More Serious Offenses

97

PART IV: ENCOURAGING GOOD BEHAVIOR

13. 7 Start Behavior Tactics

111

14. Up and Out in the Morning

127

15. Cleaning Rooms, Picking Up

and Chores

133

16. Mealtimes

141

17. Homework and Practicing

147

18. Bedtime and Nighttime Waking

155

19. The Family Meeting

167

20. When Do You Talk?

173

PART V: STRENGTHENING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

21. Your Child's Self-Esteem

179

22. Overparenting

183

23. Affection and Praise

187

24. Real Magic: One-on-One Fun

191

25. Active Listening

197

26. Your New Life

205

Index

209

Preface to the Third Edition

The very first
1-2-3 Magic
seminar took place at a local Holiday Inn

on a cold April day in 1984. It was at ended by twenty-eight parents.

Since that day I have personally presented
1-2-3 Magic
to hundreds of thou-

sands of parents, teachers, teacher aides, school administrators, grandparents,

camp counselors, therapists, mental health professionals and pediatricians.

Other presenters have conducted 1-2-3 workshops for thousands more

throughout the world. As of today our book and video sales have crossed

the three-quarter-million mark. We now have a Leader Guide, audiobooks

and Spanish books and videos, and in a few months our newest book,
1-2-3

Magic for Teachers
, will appear on bookstore shelves.

The reasons for the success of
1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline

for Children 2-12
are simple. The program is easy to learn and it works.

You can learn it one day and start it the next. There really is no “magic”

involved, but we have had many delighted parents swear that the 1-2-3

works like magic. And now, after all these years, we are hearing from

parents who raised their children—from the ground up—on
1-2-3 Magic
,

and these folks thank us for turning their lives around.

Those comments summarize our primary goal at ParentMagic, Inc.:

i

ii
1-2-3 MAGIC

We want to make a dramatic and positive difference in the lives of the

people who use our program. We want moms and dads to enjoy their

children, and to be able to discipline their kids with gentleness, firmness,

decisiveness and calm. We want children to grow up happy, competent

and able to get along with others.

How to Use This Book

The third edition of
1-2-3 Magic
describes some straightforward and very

effective methods for managing the behavior of children from the ages

of approximately two to twelve. You do not have to be a genius, saint

or professional psychotherapist to use this program well. To get the best

results, keep in mind the following:

1. The methods should be used exactly as they are described here,

especially with regard to the No-Talking and No-Emotion Rules.

2. If both parents are living at home, both adults should use the

techniques. If one parent refuses to use
1-2-3 Magic
, however, the other

parent can still use it on his or her own (while hoping, of course, that their

spouse is doing something reasonable with the kids).

3. Single parents can use our methods effectively by themselves. In

fact, single parents will greatly benefit from a simple and effective system

like the 1-2-3, since these adults are overloaded, don’t have a lot of time

to spend learning discipline programs, and cannot afford to be inefficient

when it comes to managing their children.

4. Grandparents, babysitters and other caregivers have also found the

1-2-3 very helpful in managing young children. Actually, many grandpar-

ents first discovered
1-2-3 Magic
on their own and then shared it with their

children. We also hear more and more these days that many grandparents

are raising their grandchildren themselves, and these adults often find

1-2-3 Magic
to be a lifesaver.

5. Make sure your kids are in good physical health. It is a well-known

fact that illness, allergies and physical pain can both aggravate as well as

cause behavioral and emotional problems in children. Regular physical

exams for the kids are of critical importance.

6. Chapters 1-11
must
be read before starting with counting and

PREFACE iii

before using the methods in Chapters 12-26 as well. Many parents use

counting for seven to ten days to get the house under control, then they

proceed with Part IV, Encouraging Good Behavior.

Psychological Evaluation and Counseling

Psychological evaluation and counseling are indicated
before
using

1-2-3 Magic
if any child has a history of excessive separation anxiety,

physical violence or extremely self-punitive behavior. These children can

be exceptionally difficult to manage during the initial testing period when

they are still adjusting to the new discipline. If a family is currently in

counseling, this program should be discussed with the counselor before

being used. If your counselor is not familiar with
1-2-3 Magic
, take a copy

of the book, video or audio for him or her to become familiar with.

Psychological evaluation and counseling are indicated
after
using

1-2-3 Magic
if:

1. Marital instability or conflict are interfering with the effective

use of the methods.
1-2-3 Magic
is normally an excellent way to get mom

and dad “on the same page” in dealing with the kids. Sometimes just a

few counseling sessions can help right the ship.

2. One or both parents are incapable of following the No-Talking

and No-Emotion Rules. Other life stresses, as well as problems such as

anxiety and depression, can make it hard for some parents to calm down

enough to effectively use
1-2-3 Magic
. Talking this difficulty over with

a therapist can help get mom or dad back on track.

BOOK: The 1-2-3 Magic Workbook for Christian Parents: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
6.63Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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