Tangled Dreams (7 page)

Getting out of bed to start the day I knew was going to be a real task however, it had to be done. I’d picked my clothes out the night before so I would look nice for my first day. I felt like I did on the first day of kindergarten and like that first day, I just wanted to scream and cry running into my daddy’s arms. But, I’m not in kindergarten and dad is not here. Now feeling like a lifetime ago. I have to suck it up and get on with it.

The twins and I crawled up in the truck next to Gavin. The ride into town felt like it went on forever and was torture. After he dropped the girls off, that left us alone together. This was something that we had avoided since he took me to dinner for my birthday. It became uncomfortable and we forced small talk.

“I’ll show you where the principles office is when we get there.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Yes, very.” Fidgeting with my skirt nervously.

The sad way she looked was breaking his heart and the part that sucked the most was he couldn’t do anything to console her. She chose this.

“You look beautiful.” Doing his best to cheer her up.

“Thanks.” Looking down at my hands closed up tighter than a clam.

He knew when he was getting the blow off and he was definitely getting the blow off and had been for quite some time. This just pissed him off. He was able to get any girl he wanted, but never did act too much on it. Now finally, there is one girl I want and she doesn’t want me. Could life suck any harder? He asked himself.

“Madison, you know I’ll be around if you need help finding a class or anyone gives you any problems.”

“I know Gavin. I’ll be alright. I need to do this by myself.” Anxiety hitting me with the enormous task ahead of me.

“Babe, why won’t you look at me?”

Hearing the hurt in his voice was tearing me up inside. If he only knew how much it hurt to look at him but not be able to laugh or joke with him. Most of all to not touch him in fear of getting more attached. If he only understood.

“I’m just nervous Gavin, it has nothing to do with you.” I knew it was a cold thing to say but, felt like it had to be done. If he looked hurt before it was nothing compared to the now pissed off look on his face that replaced it. I know I deserved the cold tone and glare he was giving me.

“Gavin, I’m sorry.” Cutting me off before I could say anymore.

“Madison, just save it! You’ve made yourself clear.” Pulling up to the school putting the truck in park slamming the truck door behind him as he walked up to the school.
You happy with yourself Madison? You pushed him away. Asking myself disgusted. You did exactly what you wanted. Arguing with myself, it wasn’t what I wanted. It was what I had to do. I couldn’t betray my aunt and uncle especially, aunt Julia who has been so kind to me. Well, I guess I’ll be finding the principal’s office on my own. Watching Gavin he walked up to a group of guys and started talking in front of the door. Trying to build up my courage I got out of the truck and felt lower than ever. The one true friend I had, I managed to alienate.

Standing by the door, he had no intentions of leaving her to fend for herself. He was angry and had stopped to wait on her.

Starting to walk up the sidewalk someone shouted my name. Looking around surprised,

“Hey Madison, wait up.” Running toward me with a handsome smile on his face was Clay. He had just left behind a group of friends and some girls who seemed none to happy for Clay’s sudden joy in seeing me.

Running up next to me, “Hey, Madison. It’s great to see you again.” Pulling me in for a friendly hug.

“Hi, Clay. How are you doing?” I asked genuinely happy to see him.

“No the real question is how are you doing?”

“Honestly, I’m scared to death.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll introduce you around. Where is Gavin?”

“Um. I guess he’s busy.” Trying to hide the sadness in my voice.

“Well, don’t worry. I’m here. I”ll go with you to the office to get your schedule and show you where your classes are.”

“Clay, you really don’t have to do that.  I know you would rather be with your friends on the first day back. Plus, I don’t want you to be late.”

“Don’t worry about it. Everyone knows first day back is blow off day. Besides, the teachers love me and will give me a pass.” Saying with a cute grin on his face. It wasn’t hard to believe that the teachers loved him. He was likeable and very charming.

Meanwhile, Gavin was witnessing only what he would call a spectacle. He was none to happy about it either. Who the hell does she think she is? I could have any girl in this school, even more than Clay. When really he knew Clay was his only big competition. Never, really posing a threat in the past being they usually were never interested in the same girls. If they were it really wasn’t a big deal to Gavin, being that he usually wasn’t that interested in the girl to put up a fight for her anyhow. This time was different. He is seriously treading on dangerous ground. Standing back in the crowd he watched Clay sling his arm around Madison’s shoulder. Looking friendly enough but, he knew the real intentions behind it. Watching Clay and Madison walk into the building together I wanted to rip him apart from limb to limb. How much would she like him if I ripped both of his damn arms off and beat him to death with them? Thinking violently to himself. Which might be what happens if he seen him touch her again. Knowing how vulnerable she is right now, a guy like Clay would do some real damage. He wanted to go after her so badly but didn’t figure she cared to see him at the moment. Besides, Clay was taking good care of her. He knew he was supposed to be taking care of her and blamed himself for walking off without her. I promised her and I fed her to the wolves. Clay then pouncing on the opportunity. Who’s the damn idiot now? Knowing the stupidity of his own actions he walked into the school and to his first class unable to wait for the day to be over.

After getting my schedule Clay showed me around and to some of my classrooms. I realized that I had some of the same classes as he did. This made me so relieved knowing at least I would know someone. He was so nice and stayed with me until I felt comfortable enough to get to my first class.

The morning went fast enough and I hadn’t seen Gavin all morning. Not wanting to admit to myself that fact made me sad. Walking into the lunch room I searched the big room for Gavin and he was sitting with some of his baseball buddies. Not wanting to interfere I figured the last thing they wanted was some chic coming over to sit down with them. I imagine they are probably talking sports anyhow. Feeling more alone than ever I just wanted to turn around and run. I would rather not eat at all than have to sit by myself. I felt the need to want to go back to my old school, see my old friends and teachers and sit in class listening to traffic go by. Turning to run out of the lunch room I ran into someone very tall.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry.” Looking up I realized I had run right into Clay, which didn’t move him at all but sent me flying back.

Grabbing my shoulder to steady me, “Madison are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Looking down so he wouldn’t see my eyes start to tear up.

Gavin not noticing her come in but, witnessed her about falling. Starting to get up to help her and bring her to sit down with them. Then unfortunately he noticed who was touching her. Feeling completely deflated he sat back down and stared making sure Clay didn’t try anything with her.

“Madison, are you sure your alright?”

Looking down at her he noticed her glassy eyes. Turning around to his friends, “Hey guys go without me today. I’m going to eat lunch with Madison.”

The guy to his left looked almost as cute as Clay. Very jock-like. Looking at the others I realized they were all pretty good looking. The tall lanky one clapped him on his back and told him he’d see him later and they all walked off staring at us smiling. I had pretty much been feeling like I’ve been on exhibit all day and this time was no different.

“Don’t worry about them, they think they are a bunch of comedians.” Saying with a warm smile on his face.

“Clay, you have ditched your friends for me all day. I can’t ask you to give your lunch up to.”

“Just chill. I have the rest of the school year with those morons. One lunch is not going to matter.” He had a huge charming smile on his face the whole time. Realizing just how addictive and fun his personality was. I gladly walked over with him to get some food and he found a table away from everyone for us to sit at.

Sitting down next to me, “So, I know we just met but, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime? I could show you some of the places my friends and I like to hang out at.”

Panicking, not knowing what to say to the question I glanced over at Gavin. He was so handsome sitting there you could see every muscle in his arms. The only thing I could think about at that moment was those arms wrapped around me. Clay was handsome enough but, he wasn’t Gavin. Gavin has such a rough exterior but so gentle on the inside. He is strong, sympathetic, and always can make me laugh or make a person feel better about themselves. How could I not be totally in love with the guy? That truth slamming into me like a ton of bricks.  It isn’t meant to be. I have to move on.

“Madison, did you hear me?”

“Um yeah. I would love to but, I need a couple of weeks to settle into school and get used to things. Is that okay?”

Cutely, he smiles, “Is that a blow off Madison? Because, that sounds like a major blow off?”

Laughing, “No, that is not a blow off. It is the truth. Two weekends from now I’ll go. I just need to get my school work straightened out and I’ll have to ask Julia.”

“Okay, I’ll hold you to that. Isn’t Julia Gavin’s mom? How do you know them anyway?”

My father’s face flashing through my head I wasn’t about to explain any of the events leading up to where I was at the moment. Especially, the complicated relationship with my aunt and uncle. I would especially, never betray Gavin’s trust about him being adopted. So, how do I answer such an easy question that was so complicated at the same time?”

“I’m sorry Clay, it’s a long story and not one I am ready to talk about right now.” Saying with an obvious unhappy look on my face.

Clay’s curiosity was peeked but he knew when to back off. He didn’t want to scare her off after all. “That’s alright, maybe you can tell me some other time.” Saying sweetly flashing that grin again. “Well lunch is over so I guess I should be getting to class. Did you need a ride home after school?” Asking with hope in his voice.

“No, I’ll be going home with Gavin.”

“Alright, if you change your mind, let me know.” Getting up he gave me a quick peck on the cheek and a smile. This sent the girls at the table next to us there little tongues wagging. The jealousy in there icy stares was evident. I’m sure they were wondering who the girl was who showed up with Gavin, the most eligible bachelor at school. Then to have lunch with Clay which seemed to be the second sought after guy in school.

The rest of the afternoon went slower than the morning. I had a couple of classes with Gavin in the afternoon and even sat across from him in one. He barely glanced at me at all though. That fact sent a searing pain through my heart. I couldn’t stand the distance between us. I knew it was my fault but, didn’t make it any easier. The girls at school pretty much left me alone except for when they gave me dirty looks and stares. One girl named Andrea did come up and introduce herself. She was really friendly and had “friend” potential. Mostly everyone stayed in the cliques and of course I belonged to none.

After school I walked out to find Gavin waiting for me in his truck. Two girls were standing outside of the door giggling and flipping their hair. This was my turn for the twinge of jealousy in my heart. I couldn’t stand the thought of him flashing that flirty grin in any other girl’s direction. Getting in the truck I slammed the door shut so hard that it made all of them jump. Gavin looked over at me stunned for a second. 

“Oh sorry. I guess I didn’t know my own strength.” I said sweetly with a smile on my face. The girls rolled their eyes and said bye to Gavin and walked off.

“What’s your problem? You about broke the damn hinges off the door.”

“I’m just fine. Don’t we have to pick up Kayla and Kylie?”

Utterly and completely perplexed he just stared at her. “No, they have dance lessons today after school. Mom is going to pick them up and take them.”

“Oh. Well I guess then it’s home we go. I have a lot of homework to do anyways.” Gavin was still looking in my direction with a weirdo look on his face. He was probably wondering how I could look so pissed but stay so calm at the same time. I get those traits from my father.

I don’t understand her. She ignored me all day, hung out with my friend and let him flirt and practically grope on her and she’s mad at me? Women, I’ll never understand them he thought disgustingly, slamming the shifter into reverse. Glancing at her, she looked even hotter when she was pissed. I’d like to reach over and wipe that pissed off look on her face with a mind-blowing kiss. That would only satisfy my own need at the moment and most likely cause a bigger wedge between us. It was hard to believe we could get any more distant. Thinking of the cold shoulder she had been given me lately.

“What are you talking about anyways?” First day is blow off day. You can’t have that much homework. Slamming the shifter in first and taking off so fast that I was sure I would develop whiplash.

“Well, I am coming in from a different school. I need to look through some of my books and see how far behind I am.” I knew that was a bold faced lie. The truth is I had already looked through most of my books, even talking with my teachers and realized I was mostly ahead. If anything my classes were to easy. He didn’t know that and I figured it was a good excuse to lock myself in my room for the rest of the night. Unfortunately, lately that was becoming a habit. Having to admit I have just been feeling depressed lately and not being able to talk and joke with Gavin was making me feel even worse. I have never felt more closed up than I do now. The truth is I didn’t need to get close to Gavin for several reasons. The number one reason being deep down in my heart I was afraid to lose him. I couldn’t and wouldn’t get close enough to anyone ever again to let that happen and feel that sort of pain again.