Tangled Dreams (34 page)

Waking up again it was completely dark and I couldn’t believe I slept that long. It was restless at best, but I still managed to sleep a lot longer than I wanted to. I couldn’t waste any time I had to decide what I was going to do. Looking at the clock it read three am. Feeling something behind I turned over to find Gavin with me. I should of known he would be back as soon as everyone went to bed. I’m sure he didn’t leave me most of the evening either. Running my fingers though his sexy hair I stared at him intentionally putting every plain and angle of his face to my memory. Wishing I could see his gorgeous serious eyes. But, content running my fingers down his face across his strong cheek bones and down his chin. Giving him a small kiss on the nose. I was feeling much better. More like myself. Now I knew I couldn’t sleep a wink even if I wanted to. This however was a much better way to spend my time rather than sleeping. My heart ached I loved him so much. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much. And that scared me that much more. Scooting closer I sunk my arm around him and up to his hair again until our faces were mere inches apart. I wanted to be as close to him as possible, knowing in my heart If I couldn’t find any other alternatives I was going to have to leave him. I refused to ruin his life and his future. He deserved much better than me. But tonight I was going to lay here with him with no regrets. Whispering into his ear “I love you Gavin.” I said leaning back again and staring at him.

“I love you to Maddie.” He whispered back opening his gorgeous dark eyes to stare at me.

“I’m sorry Gavin. I thought you were asleep.”

Smiling sleepily “Never. Ever. Apologize for saying you love me. I was just enjoying your touch.” Wrapping his arms around me pulling me completely against his body. I couldn’t believe there was a guy out there more perfect than Gavin in every way. “You feeling better babe? You color has returned.”

“I’m feeling better Gavin.” Pulling his face back to look at mine he brought his hand up to gently touch my face.

“Why do you look so sad Maddie? I’m not stupid. I know something happened today. Why won’t you tell me?” Asking staring intently into my eyes.

I didn’t know what to say. He knew me so well. He would know If I lied. He knows every time I lie. So, I did the only thing I could think of. The one thing women have done since the starting of time to distract a man. The one thing I wanted most in this world none the less. I grabbed him by his face and kissed him with so much passion and pain in my heart that I thought it might shatter in my chest right then and there. I knew it was only a temporary distraction. Gavin does not forget that easily but, I needed this right now. I needed him. Running my fingers through his hair and down his back I pulled against him rolling us both over until I was on top of him. I was going to have him one more time. I had to and I was going to remember every moment, every touch, every look. Pulling my face back.

“Not that I’m complaining, Are you sure your comfortable doing this babe? I don’t want to push anything.” Shattering my heart yet again looking at the concern in his eyes.

“I love you Gavin. So shut up and kiss me.”

Smiling, “No problem.” Pulling me in kissing me to the point where I felt like I couldn’t breath working his lips down to my neck pulling my shirt up over my head. His kissing went from a frantic pace to a slow steady one. Flipping me over on to my back he raised himself above me pulling my skirt down my legs. Then went my panties. Kissing me all down my belly he took his time and I felt like I was in heaven. Forcing myself to keep my eyes open to remember every moment. Putting his hand down between us I felt his boxers go down. And I wasn’t scared anymore. I felt his hand come back up and I felt him touch me and I saw stars it felt so good. Leaning down while he tortured me he kissed me blind. Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore he gently shoved himself inside of me. Throwing my head back on the pillow I completely arched my back feeling the need to be as close as possible. Feeling his one hand come around my back he pulled me up to him kissing my chest teasing me even more. I couldn’t believe that this boy, this man, my Gavin hasn’t been with anyone else. He was just to good at this. “Your killing me Gavin.” I whispered as he gently made love to me.

“Am I hurting you?” Asking concerned.

“Oh hell no.” I said looking into his eyes. Smirking he leaned in to kiss me again. Now both of us with a sheen of sweat. Which looked sexy on his gorgeous tanned skin. Flipping him over this time I took control. Leaning over I traced his abs with kisses working my way up to his neck and then finally kissing him.

“I love you Maddie.” Saying, not even a little out of breath, unlike me.

“I love you to Gavin.” Rolling me back over. He made love to me slowly kissing me, and telling me how beautiful I am. Until we both couldn’t take anymore collapsing on top of me.

“I love you so much Maddie. I can’t even put into words how much I love you.” He said looking at me.

“I love you to Gavin.” I said holding him close.

“I didn’t use a condom Maddie.” He said tired and a little worried.

“I’m sure it’ll be Okay.” I said already knowing, to little, to late for that.

“Yeah, besides I love you so much. If anything were to happen it woudl be okay?’ He said. Which gave me hope in my heart. I already knew he would take care of me that wasn’t an issue.

“Right.” I said feeling guilty.

“Your my girl. I’ll always take care of you babe.” He said kissing me, patiently holding me close. Reaching out and pulling me on top of him. Putting my head on his chest I could hear the rapid beat of his heart slowing to a nice steady rhythm. “I should go babe. God knows I don’t want to.”

“Can’t you just stay a couple more hours. We’ll set the alarm so u can get out of here before everyone gets up.”

“You know that’s a dangerous game were playing. Fine. I don’t want to leave you anyways.” He said rolling over onto his side, holding me. Reaching over he set the alarm. And wrapped his arms around me again. Closing his eyes breathing in deeply. “You smell so good Maddie.” Sounding completely content.

“I don’t think I’m going to go to school tomorrow.”

“What?” He said his eyes snapping open. “That isn’t like you. Are you feeling sick again? I knew it. I hurt you. I made you feel worse.”

“Sh. Gavin.” I said pressing my fingers to his lips. “Don’t say that. That’s not it at all. No regrets ever. I just don’t feel great. That’s all.” I lied. Truth was at this time and place I have never been happier or felt better. But, all good things must come to an end.

“You want me to stay home with you?”

“No Gavin. I’ll be fine. Besides your parents would never believe both of us are sick.”

“True. I could play hooky. Wait until everyone is gone and then come back.”

Laughing. I wanted to say yes. Please stay with me. Spend the whole day with me. But, I couldn’t. He needed to go to school and concentrate on keeping that scholarship he worked so hard for. I wasn’t going to interfere with that.

“I’ll be okay.” I said stroking his hair and taking my finger outlining his ear. “Just close your eyes and get some sleep honey.” Closing his eyes it didn’t take long until his breathing relaxed and became steady and he was fast asleep. And I was content with laying here wrapped up in his arms watching him sleep. Finally succumbing myself to sleep I drifted off. Feeling safe, and for the first time since my dad died I didn’t have one nightmare. I knew why when I woke up to the alarm clock. I knew it was because of Gavin. The reprieve from those nightmares and memories was much needed. But, the reality I have to deal with now seems to be killing me only in a different way. “Gavin. The alarm went off.” I said nudging him, hating that I had to wake him up. Kissing him softly on his lips then his eyes.

Stretching, “I could wake up like this every morning.” Reaching over and hitting the snooze button. “Ten more minutes babe.” Wrapping me closer into his arms.

“I can’t argue with that.” I said groggily.

“Talk to me Maddie so I don’t fall back asleep.”

Thinking, I asked the first thing that popped in my head. “In a perfect world how do you see your future?”

Opening one eye he looked at me. “That’s a serious question for so early in the morning.”

“Hey you wanted me to keep you awake.”

“Well, that definitely does the job. It’s an easy answer though.”

“Well?”

“Laying here with you forever and never being bothered by anyone.”

Smiling, “Okay seriously.”

“Seriously.” He said squeezing me tightly shutting both his eyes again.

“Gavin.”

“Okay. Well as great as that sounds. I see myself going to college. And marrying you after I graduate of course. Remember, you did say yes.”

Smiling, “Yes I remember.”

“Maybe popping out a couple of kids. House in the country.”

“Can we have a wrap around porch? With a swing?” I asked allowing myself for those few moments to feel hopeful.

“Anything for you baby.” Kissing the top of my head. “You want a swing huh?”

“Some of my favorite memories of us together is on that porch swing out there. Some of my favorite talks. The way you would look at me. There was so many times I was falling even more in love with you on that swing. Yes we have to have a porch swing.”

“That won’t be a problem.” Again the alarm went off and he smacked the snooze button.

“Gavin your not going to get your last hour of sleep if you keep doing that.”

“It’s okay. I’ve went to school on less before. So Maddie same question to you.”

Sighing sadly. “My perfect future. Of course would be with you. I don’t care where we are. Where we live or if we have two nickels to rub together. Hell I would be happy living in a card board box just as long as I was by your side the rest of my life.” I said with a tear rolling down my cheek. Not really realizing how emotional I was getting.

“Maddie babe I love you so much. Don’t cry.” Kissing the tears away gently.

“I hope you know that I’ll always love you. I’ll never leave your side Maddie. I know we are young but my feelings for you are never going to change. This is it for me babe. I’m in love. I’m lucky I’ve found the girl I’m going to marry at a young age.”

His words just made me cry harder. In a million years I would never believe someone could say these things to me and actually mean them. I have his child growing inside of me. A child conceived out of pure, complete love. If only it was four years from now, life would be perfect.

“If I could marry you right now. I wouldn’t hesitate for a second Maddie.”

“You would?” I asked more tears escaping down my cheeks.

“Of course. Okay, I’ll prove it.” Looking into my eyes. “I know were not dressed appropriately. Well, or at all.” He said smirking.

“What do you mean? What are u doing?” I asked almost terrified.

“Proving it to you of course.”

“Okay.” I said staring at him as he pulled off his class ring. “Sorry, this will have to do on short notice. I also couldn’t find a minister on this short of notice.” He said smirking at me.

“I Gavin take you Madison to be my wife for now and forever, through sickness and through health, through houses and card board boxes. I promise to always love you. Always be faithful. To kiss you every night before we go to bed. To make you as happy as  you make me. And I promise this until death do us part.” Pushing his class ring onto my finger. My tears now rolling at a faster pace down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe this was happening and that I had met someone so incredible and amazing in every way. “Okay your turn babe.” Smiling wiping away my tears.

Looking deep into his eyes. “I Madison take you Gavin to be my husband for now and forever. Through sickness and through health. Through houses and cardboard boxes. I promise to always love you. To always be faithful. To kiss you every night before we go to bed. To never let the sun go down on a fight. I promise to give you an amazing life, and I promise to be a good wife. I’ve finally found you Gavin. I feel like I’ve waited for you forever. I promise to be your best friend. And I promise this until death do us part.” I said still crying. Taking the cross necklace off my neck that daddy gave me and putting it around his. “Sorry this is the best I can do.” I said running my fingers down his chest.

“It’s perfect.” Pulling me in close.

“I know how much this necklace means to you. You don’t have to give it to me.”

“Shh. You mean more to me.” I said kissing him again.

“Well should we consummate our new marriage?” He asked grinning. “Mrs. Gavin McKnight.”

“I think we could do that.” Just then the alarm clock stated blaring. And he turned it off this time. He then made love to me slowly. Telling me how gorgeous I was and how much he loved me. It was a perfect night. Tonight we made a promise to each other. It may not be legally binding. But, to us it counted. It was the words that mattered. Finally, he got up groaning about having to rip himself away from me. And I felt the same way. Kneeling beside the bed.

“I’ll tell mom your sick and not going to school today.”

“Okay babe.” I said running my fingers through his hair.

“You look so tired Gavin.”

“I’ll be fine Maddie. You just get some rest. Thank you for a perfect night.” He said leaning in for a kiss.

“No, thank you for a perfect night.”

“I love you Maddie.”

“I love you Gavin.” Giving me one more kiss and a glance he walked out of the room and I hated to see him go. 

 Waking up, I could hear yelling down stairs. Looking at the clock it was nine o’clock in the morning and I could hear William practically yelling on the phone. Which was really weird considering he usually isn’t even home at this time. Just then I heard stomping up the stairs and my door swing open violently.

“I just called the hospital you whore.” I could feel my heart drop to my feet and I was glad after Gavin left this morning I decided to put on clothes. “So, who’s is it? Gavin’s? Did you corrupt him like your mother did to your father?” He said his eyes bugging out of his head.

And I could of sworn his head was going to start spinning. But, at this moment I felt sick to my stomach. I thought they weren’t going to call. I thought I had more time. More time to decide what I was going to do. I just needed more time.