Tangled Dreams (33 page)

“Madison, what’s wrong? You don’t look so good. Your sweating and pale.”

“Well, excuse me. I guess I won’t win any sort of beauty contests today.” I spitted out not even bothering to look up.

“Madison, are you kidding? You could have one leg in the grave and still be ten times more gorgeous than any of the girls here.” He said rubbing my arm.

“Clay, I’m sick. Please don’t touch me.”

“Well, then you should go to the nurse.” Staring at me.

“No, I’m not going.”

“I can go tell the teacher you need to go.”

“Clay, I’m fine.”

“Whatever. You don’t look fine.” He said now leaning comfortably back in his chair.

“Madison.” The teacher asked from the front of the class room now walking towards me. “Madison, you don’t look like your feeling well dear. What’s wrong?”

“I’m okay Mrs. Nelson. I just don’t feel good.” I said lifting my head to look at her.

Putting the back of her hand to my forehead, “Madison you are cold and clammy and very pale. You need to go to see the nurse now.”

“Alright, Mrs. Nelson.” To weak to fight her over it. Happy to get away from Clay. Getting up I stumbled over my chair leg and Clay grabbed my arm before I fell into the wall.

“Okay. Clay can you please escort Ms. Madison down to see the nurse please.”

“I’m fine. I can make it.” I said stuttering in shock on how quickly this situation had gotten away from me.

“No, I would feel better knowing you got there alright. I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

“Now Clay. Could you please?”

“Sure Mrs. Nelson I would love to.” He said standing up smiling widely.

“Thank you. Come straight back when you get her there. Now make sure you hold her arm to keep her steady.” She said smiling and walking away.

And in one fell swoop there went my promise to myself and Gavin that Clay would never touch me again. Unfortunately I was to weak to argue and fight with him. Taking my arm he pulled me close to him and wrapped his arm around my waist to steady me which of course got everyone talking. I forgot how tall he really was. Not quite as tall as Gavin but, close. Truth was however, I did need him to steady me as we walked along and I hated it.

“Madison, you really don’t look to good.”

“Why thank you. I’m sure it will be front page news.” I said walking along slowly.

“Why the attitude honey?” He asked smirking.

Sighing, I didn’t even feel like going there with him. Starting to feel like I had to heave. “Clay stop.” I said sliding down to the hallway floor.

“Madison all smart ass jokes aside, I think we really should get you to the nurse.”  Now looking genuinely concerned.

“I’m going. I just need to rest for a second.”

“The bell is going to ring soon and every class besides the juniors are going to be going to there next class. Your going to get trampled.” Kneeling down beside me.

Holding my stomach, “I really don’t care right now.”

“Well, I do.” He said slinging my arm around his neck lifting me up with his other arm around my waist now walking me down the hall again slowly. “You smell so good Madison. I miss you so much.”

“Clay, please don’t do this again. It’s not going to happen for us ever again.” I now whined.

“I wish you wouldn’t say that.” Pleading with me. Giving me a quick kiss on top of my head.

“Clay, you don’t have the right to do that to me anymore.”

“I know I just can’t help myself.”

“Well try.” I said between clenched teeth just as the bell rang.

“I need to get you out of the way.” He said pulling me into an empty room.

“I can’t walk you down the hall with everyone running us over.” Sitting me down on an empty table. Sitting down next to me. “Madison?”

“What Clay?” I asked annoyed now not only from the pain but, being here in this room with him alone.

“Do you think things could have worked out with us If I had treated you better?”

“I can’t answer that Clay. No one can.”

“Do you really love Gavin?” Saying with a sad tone to his voice.

“With all my heart. I’m sorry.”

“Me to.” He said to my amazement. “I truly am sorry for losing you. He has no idea how lucky he is.” Sadly.

“He’s not the one that is lucky. I am.” I said smiling.

“You truly believe that don’t you?”

“Oh yeah, I’m no bargain. Him…he is amazing.” I said laying down on the table waiting for the halls to clear. “You’ll find someone for you Clay. It just isn’t me.”

“Yeah, it is. It is you. I’m sure of it. I just have to wait for you to realize it.”

Sighing. “Clay, I love Gavin.”

“You think you love Gavin.” Brushing my now sweaty hair out of my face. Closing my eyes.

“Clay, please don’t do that. It just makes things more complicated.”

“Why? Because you feel the same thing as I do when I touch you?” 

“Know, that’s it. I don’t feel the same way. That’s why you shouldn’t do it.”

The bell started blaring for everyone to be in class again and it was time to go again. Clay stood up and towered above me looking at me. “What?”

“Do, I have permission to touch you to get you to the nurses office?” Asking now politely.

“Yes, thank you for asking, and thank you for helping me.” I said trying to be cordial to get there as soon as possible. Swinging my legs down he put his arm around my waist and I must of gotten up to fast because I had horrible vertigo and I about passed out from the dizziness. Starting to fall he caught me and lifted me up into his arms.

“Alright, I’m not messing around any more. This is going to slow. Walking out with me in his arms he started making his way down the hall. I couldn’t contest or complain or anything. I was to sick and dizzy so I laid my head on his chest and prayed to get there soon. I could tell he was struggling to keep a hold of me.

“Just a little farther.”

I heard Clay whisper in my ear. And for that split second I thought of the Clay I had feelings for. The Clay I could have loved very easily. The caring, charming one. But, I didn’t know which Clay he was from day to day and it hurt my head thinking about it. It hardly mattered anymore anyhow. Then as if my mind was playing tricks on me I thought I heard Gavin’s voice. “Gavin?” I whispered.

Gavin had been looking for her in a panic ever since the bell rang after one of his buddies informed him about Clay taking Madison to the nurses office. Checking the nurses office and not finding her he was getting panicked. He could feel his heart beating like a jack hammer searching the hallways for them. Walking down the final hall there was to check he seen her laying in Clay’s arms and it sent his blood boiling.

“Give her to me Clay.” He said striding up fast to him.

“Mrs. Nelson told me to make sure she got to the nurses office.”

“I got her. I will make sure she finds out.” Saying not taking no for an answer. Suddenly I felt myself shifting and being lifted out of Clays arms and for a second I thought I must be at the nurses office.

“Fine, I’m outta here.” Clay said reluctantly walking off.

Moving again I finally realized the familiar arms that were holding me and it felt real, comfortable, safe, and just right. “Gavin?” I asked.

“Yes babe. It’s me. Your alright. I’ve got you now.” Walking a lot faster than Clay could manage.

“Thank you.” I whispered. “I’m so sorry. I promised he would never touch me again.” I said with tears in my eyes feeling nauseous still.

“Shh.” He said kissing my forehead. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“I love you Gavin.” I whispered laying my head against his chest. My favorite spot in the world.

“I love you to Maddie. Just rest babe.”

“Okay.” I said sighing. Getting to the nurses station he laid me down on the table. The small plump nurse came scurrying in the room to check on me. Scooting Gavin out she promised she would have the principals office track him down if I needed to go home. Reluctantly he left the room not wanting to leave.

“He sure is a sweet boy.” Looking at her name tag it read Nurse Atkins. “Stubborn but sweet. You could tell he really cares about you.” She said smiling as she took my blood pressure.

Smiling back. “Yes, I really care about him also.”

“Oh.” she said shaking her head knowingly.

“What?” I asked.

“I’ve seen that look before.”

“What look?”

“You two are in love.” Winking at me.

“Completely.” I said smiling.

“It’s wonderful seeing young people in love.” She said taking the blood pressure strap off my arm. Looking at me nostalgically. “Well, your pressure is normal. Now tell me your symptoms?”

“Well I woke up sick to my stomach all of a sudden last night, and I threw up. I feel nauseous all the time now. When I was trying to get out of bed last night in a hurry I did crack my head on my nightstand. I really didn’t think much about it. I have been dizzy.”

“Oh dear. I think we might better get you to the emergency room so they can take a look at your head. You might have a concussion at this point.”

“Oh no. I hope not. Not after my last head injury.”

“Can your friend take you? Or do you need me to call for an ambulance?”

“No. No. Gavin can take me.”

“I’ll go have him paged. You sit tight dear. Try not to worry. It could be nothing at all. But, you can never be to careful.”

Laying back onto the table I figured I was already starting to know the hospital staff by name. So why not go for another visit.

     “Hi Madison I am Dr. Williams. I have reviewed your file and I think the first step is a pregnancy test. We need to get that out of the way before we do any sort of cat scans.”

“What? Your kidding. Right?”

“Is there any chance you could be pregnant Ms. McKnight?”

“Well. Yeah. I suppose.”

“Well, then yes we need to run the tests.”

My heart was pounding out of my chest with fear. I went through the test they asked for hoping it was just a precaution. That is until the news was right in front of my face. They finished the examination but my body was numb with fear. I’m pregnant. I have a child growing inside of me. Gavin’s child. I am my mother. I thought mad and in disbelief.

“Ms. McKnight I will go get your ride to take you home.”

I barely heard him. I vaguely remember shaking my head yes. William was right.  I was about to ruin Gavin’s life like my mother did to my father. And it was breaking my heart. Sitting here I wanted to cry. Gavin walked in quietly looking at me with concern in his eyes.

Walking up next to me, “Are you going to be alright babe?” He asked running his hand through my hair. “You don’t look any better. You look even more pale.” Sitting here staring at me I didn’t speak. I couldn’t get anything to come out. “Madison? What’s wrong baby?” Still sitting here I just stared ahead. I felt like I couldn’t get my head to move if I wanted to. “Maddie, your freaking me out. Answer me please.”

“I’m okay, Gavin. I can go home.” I said hopping off the table forcing my body to move. Still unable to show any emotion on my face but disbelief and shock. To be honest I really felt like I was going to barf. Putting his arm around my waist.

“What is wrong with you?” He asked concerned. “Um, flu bug.” I lied feeling guilty as soon as it passed through my lips.

“Need me to carry you?”

“No, I can get there. Just take me home please.

“Okay Maddie. We’re going home.”

I felt like I was walking through a fog with no sign of light ahead of me. Wondering the whole time what I should do. I didn’t want to ruin Gavin’s life knowing there was no way he would go to College finding out if I was pregnant. He was to good of a guy to desert me. He would never do that. But, didn’t see any other choices. Walking me out of the emergency room building he soon got me home. Of course no one was around. Rarely was at this time of day. Crawling into bed Gavin was right behind me. Wrapping his arm around me he crawled up behind me kissing the back of my head. Starting to cry softly he tightened his grip on me.

“What’s the matter baby? Please tell me.” He whispered into my ear. Holding me even tighter against him. I could hear the panic and pain in his voice.

“I’m alright Gavin. My stomach hurts.” 

“Are you sure that’s it babe?” Asking still concerned. I loved and hated that he could see through me all the time.

“I’m sure Gavin.”

“Okay, I love you babe.” He said hesitantly kissing my neck and stroking my hair back from my face still not believing me.

“I love you to Gavin. More than you’ll ever know. Hey Gavin?”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me no matter what happens, or where we are, that you’ll always know that I love you. Promise me you’ll never doubt that?”

“Maddie, that’s a crazy thing to ask.”

“Just promise me. It means a lot to me.”

“Okay, I promise. And know I will always love you. But, we’ll never be apart. Not really. Even when I’m at college I’ll call you all the time I’ll be back a couple weekends a month, holidays, that sort of thing. So, don’t worry.”

If only he knew how worried I really was. Not knowing what to do at this point.

“Just close your eyes and go to sleep Maddie. You’ll feel better after some rest.” He promised.

“Don’t leave me Gavin.” I said tightening my grip on his arms.

“Sh calm down. Mom and dad won’t be home for hours. I’ll stay.”

“Thank you.” I said now relieved.

“Maddie, you didn’t even have to ask. You couldn’t kick me out of here even if you wanted to.”

Curling up as close as I could get to him I bundled myself into a ball holding his arms around me so tight I almost felt like I couldn’t breath. But, I didn’t care. I knew what I should do and it was killing me inside. It was the worst sort of pain I could ever feel. I didn’t think anything could ever compare to the utter total despair I felt when daddy died. But, I was wrong. Leaving and losing Gavin was making me feel just as horrible. I knew this was just a taste of how I would feel if I left. I also knew I still had a little time with him before I started showing. More time to decide. Clutching my stomach I could hardly believe that there was a child in me. Not just any child. Gavin’s child. The love of my life. How could I leave him behind? Torturing myself, I finally fell into a deep sleep hoping when I woke up it was just going to be a bad dream.