Running Away From Love (15 page)

I laughed as I said “Okay, I quit. I look too cute to be getting my hair and dress messed up by having sex with you in the car. Last time we messed around in your truck I was sore for a week.”

He laughed as he said “Don’t play with me, Jasmine. You got me horny as hell right now. Understand that the bathroom will work just as well, too.”

We both busted out laughing at how freaky we were talking, and nobody even had a clue. It was amazing that whenever we went out together we were in our own little world. We would laugh and flirt with one another all night. I never have been in a relationship where a man showed me so much affection. I loved how special he made me feel. Even with so much going on around us, he always finds a way to always make me feel like I was the only one who mattered.

But the sex between us is on another level. I didn’t come into our relationship with many tricks up my sleeve. I was very behind when it came to sex Trey was the only guy that I had been with. Q took me under his wing and has been my teacher. The shyness that I used to always feel when it came to my sexuality was nonexistent now. Now I wasn’t afraid to try anything sexually with him. He increased my sex game tenfold. I can barely be in the same room with Q without getting turned on. Q snapped me out of my thoughts when he told me that he had to make his rounds. I nodded that I understood before he walked away. I just sat down by myself and sipped my glass of wine while I waited for him to come back.

I watched Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Carmelo Anthony, and Dwayne Wade all walking around the event. I had to remind myself that I can’t act like a crazy fan tonight. Even though I wanted to jump out of my seat and ask for their autographs. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of the game. My favorite player is Mr. Kobe “Bean” Bryant. It took everything in me not to stalk his ass for the entire night. All I wanted to do was tell him how amazing that I think he is. But his wife Vanessa was on his ass like white on rice. No female would even get the chance to get that close. I respect it though after all Kobe was a cheater. I needed a distraction, so I pulled out my phone and started to message London. As I was talking to her I felt someone tap me lightly on the shoulder. When I turned around I was stunned to see Trey standing there. What the hell was he doing here I thought to myself. Before I could say anything he pulled up a chair next to me and began to talk.

He spoke with a sense of urgency saying “Listen I know that you don’t want to hear shit from me, and believe me I understand why. But I really need to talk to you. Just give me a couple minutes of your time, please.”

I looked around to see if Q was anywhere in sight. Then I said quietly “What are you doing here, Trey? Now isn’t the place or time for any type of conversation. I’m with my boyfriend tonight, and he will be back any minute. I don’t want any drama between the two of you.”

He refused to take my warning so he continued on saying “I don’t care who you are here with. I need to talk to you. Just listen. I’ve been thinking about this ever since I saw you. Back when you and I were together we were just kids, Jasmine. I knew nothing about love and how to make a relationship work. I can honestly say I had no idea what to do with you when you were in my life. Once we were done I thought that I could come to live my life without you in it. I thought that over time I would forget all about what we had. But the truth is I never stopped thinking about you. You were always in the back of my mind. Your presence never left my heart and mind. Ever since I ran into you that night I realized that my life just hasn’t been the same without you in it.

“I have missed you, Jasmine. I miss staring at you when you used to sleep in my arms at night. I miss the way you used to caress my face when you kissed me. I miss the way you pout when you were mad at me. Most of all I miss you just being my best friend. You and I had this amazing friendship on top of us being lovers. You are an extremely special person, and I truly miss everything about you. This whole time I have been lying to myself thinking that I could be without you. I know you said that you have a new man in your life, but I know I’m the only man for you. Just think about us and what we once shared. I know you like nobody else does, and you know me unlike anyone else does. I know what scares you, what makes you sad, and what makes you smile.”

                I tried my best to ignore what he was saying to me. I was refusing to let his words into my mind, or even worse let it into heart. He continued on saying “I remember everything about you since you were 16 years old. I know he doesn’t know you like I do. All I want you to do is just think about it. Can you do that for me please? I know I don’t deserve another chance, but I’m hoping that you will find it in your heart to forgive me if nothing else.”

I just stared at him unable to speak or move. I didn’t know what to say, or how I should feel after hearing what he said. I felt like he had me cornered with his words. I would never betray Quincy’s trust so I blocked out any feelings that I was trying to feel. I said “Trey me and you just can‘t happen, period. I mean hopefully I can stop being mad at you long enough so that we can at least try to be friends one day. But right now I’m not ready to do that. I need you to give me some space until I’m ready to deal with things. Right now I’m telling you I don’t want to go there with you so just let the shit go.”

He just stared at me, and I held my ground refusing to give in to his stare.

He said “Wow, Jasmine, why are you doing this? I can look into your eyes and know that you don’t love this dude that you’re with. Your eyes give it all away. So who are you really trying to convince me or yourself? But, okay, if you’re trying to make me wait since you waited on me I’m willing to do that. I‘m willing to do whatever it takes just to prove that I’m serious about what I’m saying to you. I want to show you how much I’ve changed. If you want to make me wait and suffer for however long until you’re ready then I’m willing to do that.”

I just sighed as I said “Listen, I don’t want to make you suffer, Trey. You know that is not even the type of person that I am. I’m just not interested in moving backwards at this point in my life. So far as I moved forward nothing but amazing things has come my way. I finally understood and accepted the fact that you and I weren’t meant to be. Like you said we were both kids we didn’t know what love really was. Hell, we didn’t even know who we were back then. So I let it go and I suggest you do the same. I’m happy with the man in my life. I am not leaving him for anyone and that includes you, Trey.”

He said “I’m telling you right now I am not letting it go. I want you back with me, and I will do whatever so you understand that. Listen, baby, I’m right here admitting I fucked up badly when we were together. All I want is a chance to make it up to you. I don’t give a fuck about the dude you’re with. All I care about is you, Jasmine.”

              I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable and annoyed. Then confusion began to settle inside my mind. Old memories of him and I began to flood my mind. I began to think back to all the days where most of the time we spent together we were laughing and talking. I remembered the time he comforted me when my grandfather died. I was crushed when my granddad died so suddenly. Trey stayed with me night after night for like a month straight, because I was afraid to sleep alone in my apartment. I was having nightmares so he made sure to always hold me tight in his arms so that I would feel safe. And instantly I would fall fast asleep in his arms. I wouldn’t have made it through that time in my life without his support. As I came to think about it we did share a lot of good times together I had to admit. But before I could say anything I felt Q come up behind me, and kiss me on the cheek.

“What’s up baby?” he said cautiously, “Who is this?” I looked over at Trey and his face instantly turned into a frown as he realized that this was the new man in my life. I nervously stood up and said “Hey, baby this is an old friend of mine, Trey. And Trey this is my boyfriend, Quincy.”

Trey stood up to greet him, and they both reluctantly shook each other’s hand. I could tell that they both could care less about meeting one another. There was definitely animosity building between the two of them.

Q said “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Q kissed me on the lips and held onto me tight as he said “I don’t know why you let this woman out of your sight, but I’m glad you did. If you didn’t I would have never found her for myself.”

I knew Q was being an asshole so I tried to diffuse the situation as I said “Trey just came over to say hello. He was just leaving.”

Trey gave me a look that sent chills up my spine. It was written all over his face that he wanted to snatch me right out of his arms. He forced a fake smirk onto his face as he said “I don’t know why I let this beautiful woman out of my sight. I regret it to this day, trust me. But every man makes mistakes. I’m man enough to admit that to myself and to her as well. Just make sure you keep a real good eye on her. She is looking flawless tonight, and you wouldn’t want anyone to take her from you.”

I gave Trey an evil look, which he completely ignored just like Q did. I realized that it wasn’t about me. It was all about Trey and Quincy’s egos.

Q said “I’m not worried! She is not going anywhere.”

Trey turned his attention to me and said “Well, it was nice seeing you again, mama. Hopefully we can get together sometime soon, and get caught up on everything that I’ve missed. Again you look beautiful tonight.”

Before he walked away he took my hand and kissed it lightly. I quickly snatched my hand away and nervously said “Thanks, it was nice seeing you again as well.”

Q just glared at Trey like he was ready to punch him in the face. I rubbed Q’s back trying to keep him calm. Then Trey walked away and disappeared into the crowd. I watched him walk away, and I felt myself wanting to go after him just to finish our conversation. It seems like every time we saw each other we never get to say everything that needed to be said to one another.

I was about to sit back down, but Q stopped me and pulled me back up. He had an attitude with me, and I knew why. But I couldn’t control what Trey did.

So I said “What’s wrong with you? Let go of my arm, Quincy.”

He said angrily, “Don’t fucking play with me, Jasmine! So do you want to tell me what the hell that was all about?”

I was mad and scared at the same time. I never saw this side of Q before. I could see the jealousy written all over him.

I immediately got pissed off. “What are you talking about? He came over here to say hello. We haven’t seen each other in a while, obviously. But that’s all it was. We were only talking, nothing more than that.”

He said “Well, I don’t like the way he was looking at you in this tight ass dress, and him making those smart ass comments either. He was blatantly disrespecting me by kissing your hand and shit. I should go over there and smack this nigga for disrespecting me. I don’t want him touching my woman period.”

I was annoyed. “Listen, you’re talking about me like I’m just a piece of property, and not a damn human being. And you weren’t thinking it was a tight ass dress before we left the house. You act like I can control what comes out of his mouth. He is a grown ass man Q! I don’t understand why you are even worried about him in the first place. I do not want him, Quincy. He is my ex-boyfriend. He lives here, too; we were bound to run into each other. Today just so happened to be that day.”

Q didn’t say anything else at first; he just stared at me. So I continued, “You know what, I’m about to go home. I didn’t come out here to argue with you over some dumb shit. All of this is unnecessary.”

I grabbed my purse about to walk away, but he grabbed me by the arm and stopped me. I was heated now, ready to punch him in his face.

“Look, Quincy,” I spit my words at him, “you grab my fucking arm like you’re crazy one more damn time, and I will show you who is crazy! If you want to cause a scene, please understand that I will give your ass a whole damn movie! Now let go of my damn arm right fucking now!”

He let go of me quickly once he realized I was not playing with him. Then said in a hushed tone “Listen I’m sorry. I really don’t like the fact that you’re ex-boyfriend was in your face like that. I mean I know how you used to feel about him. I felt like he was disrespecting me, and you let him do it. It’s obvious that he still wants you, Jasmine. If I could see it, then I know you could. It looked like it was killing him seeing you with another man. Tell me right now that you don’t have any feelings for him. Because it kind seemed that way by the way you were looking at him. Tell me you are over him, Jasmine.”

Yes, I still had feelings for Trey. I mean do you ever really rid yourself of the feelings for the first person who ever captured your heart? But I’m smart enough to never let Q know this. So I said what I knew he needed to hear.

“Listen what he and I had is in the past. You are my future, and I am happy with us. I apologize if you felt like I let him disrespect you. I promise it will never happen again.”

His mood came back to a happy one after I said that. I guess I said the comforting words he needed to hear.

“Look, Jasmine, I’m sorry for acting like a jealous boyfriend. I didn’t mean to snap on you like that. I guess I just got jealous you and him were talking, and being all cool with him. I know how bad he hurt you, and how hard he made it for me to get into your heart. I guess I didn’t know you had let it all go, and ya’ll were on speaking terms again. But I do apologize for letting my jealousy ruin our night. Please don’t be mad at me baby.”

I was still pissed at the way he acted tonight. I remained quiet, letting him know that I was not happy with him. He pulled me into his body, making me hug him. As I was in his arms, I looked over Q’s shoulder, and I saw Trey staring at me from across the room. The expression on his face was as if he was sick at the sight of me with Q. So I closed my eyes burying my head into Q’s shoulder as I squeezed him tight. When I opened up my eyes he was gone, and I breathed easy again. This whole Trey situation was getting out of hand. I didn’t know how to deal with all of the feelings that were starting to come over me so suddenly. I thought I had put my relationship with Trey behind me when I got serious with Q. I couldn’t help but wonder if Trey emerging back into my life was for a reason. The feeling of uncertainty was washing all over me when it came to my feelings for Trey. Normally when I have the feelings of uncertainty, my life turns into chaos. Maybe I should start preparing myself for the craziness that could be ahead.

              Q was going to be on the road for about two weeks. I decided to go to my favorite café after work, and attend their open mic night. As I was leaving my office building, I noticed Trey standing outside. The last thing I needed was for someone to see me talking to Trey, and it getting back to Quincy. I walked up to him as he sat on top of his white Range Rover truck.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, obviously annoyed. “I thought I said I needed you to stop and give me some space.”

“I know what you said, but since when have I ever listened?”

I couldn’t help but laugh after that comment. “That is true. You always were hardheaded. It doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t be here though.”

He smiled as he said “Well, I’m here now so I will make the best out of it. So I’m wondering why your man isn’t here to pick you up like he should be.”

“The real question is how you even knew I worked here. And what time I leave work. I doubt it is a coincidence you happened to show up at the right time. That leads me to believe somehow you knew he didn’t pick me up from work. If he did come and get me, I doubt you would be out here waiting on me. I could assume you’ve been stalking me, seeing as how you know my schedule and all.”

He smirked at me. “I see that you still got a smart ass mouth on you. Okay, yeah, you’re right. I did know he doesn’t pick you up. I guess it’s safe to say your man doesn’t like me very much. I guess you told him all the bad things about me, and none of the good. He looked like he wanted to knock me out for kissing your hand the other night.”

I laughed as I said “Whatever, Trey! And you’re right he was ready to put hands on you that night. But the real question is how do you know where I work?”

He just smiled. “I don’t reveal my sources. Let‘s just say I know a lot of people in high important places.”

His smile was still beautiful to me. Whenever he smiled at me I melt. I glanced over him and he looked good as usual. But being in his presence is no good for me. I always seem to get lost in his presence. I caught myself staring at him so I diverted my attention elsewhere.

I laughed nervously and blew him off. “Whatever, Trey. I need to get going. I don’t want to be late to this open mic night that I want to attend. It was nice to see you again. Have a good night.”

He stopped me as I was about to walk away and said “You stay trying to get away from me. How about we go to this open mic night together? It will give us a chance to finally get caught up. All I want to do is talk.”

I was skeptical. “I don’t think so, Trey. I don’t want any drama with my boyfriend. You and I hanging out is sure to bring unwanted issues. He already feels negatively about you, and I don’t want to add fuel the fire.”

He came in closer to me and said “Relax. I’m not asking you out on a date, mama. This is just two old friends unwinding after a long work day and talking; that’s all. I promise I will be a very good boy, and on my best behavior.”

There he goes again always invading my damn space. I thought to myself there wouldn’t be any harm in us hanging out as friends. I put some distance between us as I said “Okay, I guess that will be alright. But just to talk. That is it. I don’t want to hear you say a single word about my boyfriend. And I don’t want to hear anything about us getting back together either agreed?”

He nodded in agreement as he opened up the passenger door for me. I told him which café and then we drove off to our destination.

              The café was a real small and intimate spot that I loved to frequent. I could always clear my head and hear some amazing things. We took a seat in a booth just before the first act came onto the stage. I ordered a glass of wine. If I was going to get thru this night with Trey, I needed some wine ASAP. I felt Trey staring at me.

“Why do you keep staring at me bighead?”

He busted out laughing. “Wow, I haven’t heard you call me that in forever.”

I laughed with him. “I know. It just came out. I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool. So, tell me, how have you been doing?”

“Well, where should I begin? Life in the NYC has been very good to me so far. It’s very different than living in Buffalo. I’m sure you can attest to that. It is a very big change in pace. But I finally figured everything out, and I love working at the magazine. I feel like I go to work every day, and I can honestly say I love my job. Every aspect of it I love. I met so many different people. I get invited to different parties and events. I even get free stuff sometimes, and you know how much I love that. There is never a dull moment. It is so much different than my job at the bank, and you know how much I hated that damn place.”

              He smiled as he said “Wow, I’m so proud of you. You finally did everything you dreamed of. Getting into the magazine business has always been your dream. Now all that’s left is starting your own magazine, and writing your first book.”

I smiled as I realized he still remembered what some of my dreams were.

He continued on, “And I couldn’t help but notice you toned your body up. You look amazing. I know how self-conscious you used to be about your body, even though there wasn’t anything wrong with you. But my God, your body is sick right now! I really like all I’m seeing. I especially don’t remember you having that much ass the last time I saw you. You grew up and out!”

Now I was blushed. “Shut up. Do not comment on my ass trying to be all fresh. But in all honestly I must say I might be in the best shape of my life. Working out has become my stress reliever.”

Then he completely switched subjects. “I’m curious to know how you met your boyfriend.”

I frowned “I thought I said no talking about him, Trey.”

He smirked as he said “Well, he is a part of your life now right? And I’m asking questions about your life.”

“Well if you must know, I met him when I first landed here in the airport. I literally ran into him. We started talking and getting to know one another. I guess you can say we just clicked. He really is an amazing person. We’ve been together for a little over six months now, and we recently moved in together. Everything has been going great so far.”

He replied saying “Wow, it sounds like you two are getting serious pretty fast. But I can’t even lie to you I’m jealous. I really wish I was the one who ran into you first at the airport. Can ask you a question?” I gave him a nod to continue. “Do you love him? And be honest with me, Jasmine.”

I took a moment before I answered. Truthfully I did love Q. But it wasn’t the kind of love where it consumed all of me. I guess I was thinking about it too much and I hesitated before I answered saying “Yes, I do love him. Why do you even care to ask?”

“You know you hesitated before you answered me right?”

I tried to recover, “I’m very happy, Trey, so just cut the shit. What about you? Do you have anyone special in your life since you all up in my business?”

Truthfully I didn’t really care to hear the answer, but I thought it was the best thing for me to ask.

He just laughed at me as he said “I mean there was one girl that I kicked it with for a while named Kelly. She was a great girl and all, but it didn’t work out in the end. We wanted different things. So I’m not really serious with anyone right now. I mean I kick it with some chicks here and there, but I’m not in a relationship with anyone. I’m just and focusing on my business right now. I have a lot of big things in the works.”

I felt a hint of jealousy come over me at the thought of him in the arms of another woman. I had hoped he didn’t catch me roll my eyes when he spoke about the Kelly chick. So I said “You mean to tell me you haven’t found anyone special yet? I thought you would be married with at least one kid by now.”

He leaned back in his chair and looked me right into my eyes. “Wow, married with a child. You trippin’, Jas. Despite what you might have thought, I actually meant what I said. When I said I came here to focus on getting my career together. I wasn’t telling you a lie. But to answer your question I found that special girl a very long time ago. She had me as soon as I saw her walk into my study hall. As soon as we locked eyes she had me, and I haven’t been able to recover ever since.”

I knew he was talking about me. I leaned in closer to him as I said “Well, why did you let her go, if she was that special to you?”

“I really can’t give you an answer to that. I was young and foolish I guess. I thought she would always be there until I was really ready. I was so used to her always being there despite all of my bullshit. I guess I never thought she would get sick and tired and leave me for good. Ever since she’s been gone, things just haven’t been the same. I guess I needed the time apart to grow up and get my shit together. I didn’t think that she would move on to another man who isn’t me.”

I picked up my wine and sipped it down quickly to ease my nerves. I kept it cool as I said “Well I’m a believer in destiny. If it’s meant to be in the end you and her will be together. And if that happens, then nothing else from the past will matter.”

“That’s interesting.” he said. “I’m not sure if I believe in destiny or not. But I do believe she and I are meant to be together. Listen, Jasmine, I’m going to be honest with you. I would have never imagined you would be living here. It’s crazy you’re so close now. Ever since I saw you, I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. Knowing you’re so close I always want to see you and talk to you. You looked so beautiful that night. I can’t explain it, but you looked so different to me. You had a glow all around you. It was like when I saw you that night I felt the same when I first saw you when we were 16. It was like I fell in love with you all over again.”