Running Away From Love (31 page)

              As soon as we were face to face I smiled, but his face was expressionless. I decided I wanted to do all of the talking this time. So I said “Every time we are face to face I never get the chance to say everything that I feel. I know what I’m about to say may be too little too late, but I’m going to say it anyway. If you decide you could care less, then I understand. All I’m asking you to do right now is just listen without talking. First I just want to apologize to you, Trey, for how long it has taken me to get to this point. I know I have put you on an emotional rollercoaster, and for that I apologize. The truth is I am still very much in love with you, and I do not think I ever stopped loving you. I have tried my best to forget about you. I did have Quincy in my life for a while, but it was always a void there he couldn’t seem to fill within me. All of this time I ignored it, and diverted my focus on something else. But what has been missing this whole time is you. The moment we reconnected that emptiness was filled just by your presence alone. When you told me how you felt I will admit it was so hard for me to accept it at first. I had no clue how to accept everything you were trying to convey to me. At the time I just couldn’t look past all of the hurt that surrounded us. I’ve been running away from anything that had to do with you and me. I’m tired of running, Trey. You were right; the odds of us running into each other like we did that night was very slim. I hadn’t seen you in such a long time, and running into you so randomly would make you think it was for a reason. I know I have been the epitome of stubborn, and I have been carrying on in the worst possible way.

“It has not been easy for me, and my behavior didn’t make matters any better I know. I am sorry for any hurt I caused you from my selfishness. I was confused and torn between two men in my life. My being scared to deal with reality lead to so many things that could have been avoided. The truth is, I am about three months pregnant. I have been hiding this pregnancy from everyone. The baby I’m carrying is yours, Trey. I fully understand that you may question that being that I was in a relationship with Quincy at the time. Once my baby is born we can get a DNA test; I won’t dispute that in any way. The night we made love is now even more special to me. It was the day our baby was conceived. And even if we don’t end up together, I will always know the day our child was conceived his or her parents were at least in love. There is no more Jasmine and Quincy. I walked away from it all, because I finally realized all I want and need is with you. When we’re together I feel whole, and when we’re apart I’m in pieces. As cliché and corny as it may sound you really do complete me. I have loved you since I was sixteen and it just hasn’t gone away. Please just tell me I’m not too late, and that you still love me. I know I may not deserve your forgiveness, but I really hope you give me another chance.” 

              It felt really good getting all of that off of my chest. I finally got to tell him how I feel and it felt great. But as I stared into his eyes I had no idea what he was thinking. His facial expression didn’t change it was still blank and cold staring back at me. I had hoped that as I continued talking he would at least warm up to me a little bit. Almost immediately a nervous feeling grew in the pit of my stomach. The thought that he hated me made was devastating. My not taking his hand right away will haunt me forever. The silence between us seemed like it was lasting for an eternity. I didn’t even realize that tears were now streaming down my face. He stood still as if he was looking right through to my soul. I finally allowed myself to open up and I was fully exposed.

Finally I said defeated “I’m sorry for everything.”

After I said that I just turned around and started walking away. I had no idea where I was going I just needed to get as far away from here as I possibly could. I felt like such a fool. Every conversation between him and I played out in my mind as I wandered aimlessly. I fucked up badly and there is no way I could deny it. Somehow, I ended up walking to central park. I found a park bench, and sat down to catch my breath. My feet were killing me I had walked quite a distance in my high heels. I was getting annoyed by all the people stopping and staring at me. Then I remembered I was still in my wedding dress. The only thing I could feel at this point was numb. I rubbed my stomach seeking comfort from my child. I knew everyone was probably losing their minds trying to figure out where I ran off to. I had no phone or money on me. I most definitely didn’t want to go back to the house Quincy and I shared together. I needed to start thinking about how was I going to get all of my things, and my dog without seeing him. I had no idea what my next move was going to be. I guess in my mind I had hoped things would have worked out differently between Trey and I. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. It was a beautiful summer day there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I kept my eyes closed and let the sun and summer breeze cover me. I just needed a moment to take in everything that had just unfolded. I needed to process how my life ended up being this big ass mess. But I knew that for my child’s sake I had to get my shit together. I was lost in my thoughts when I felt someone sit down next to me. How I was feeling at this point I didn’t care to even see who it was. I kept my eyes closed, but the tears continuously streamed down my face. Thinking about the fact that Trey no longer cared was devastating, and it was all my fault.

              I felt someone wipe the tears from my eyes, and I jumped out of my trance startled ready to fight. When I opened my eyes I saw it was Trey who was sitting next to me. As he wiped away my tears he said “So you still haven’t gotten enough of running away from me? No more crying, Jasmine. It’s crazy how we’re both so damn stubborn when it comes to this love shit. We both fucked up a lot trying to fight this thing between us. Yet and still despite all of the bad here we are. I think we both have done everything possible to fuck things up. There isn’t anything else left for us to fuck up.”

I finally stopped crying as I said “How did you even know where I was?”

He smiled as he said “I never left your side. I followed a couple steps behind you as you wandered the streets. I know I didn’t have much to say when you finally spoke up, but I heard you loud and clear, baby.”

He opened up his arms and I cuddled up next to him resting my head on his chest. It was still the same his heartbeat was still in sync with mine.

I said “I’m sorry to have done that to you. I made a huge mess of everything. I never meant to hurt you I really need you to understand me when I say that. I am really embarrassed and ashamed about how I carried myself recently. I just hope you can forgive me, and we can start over.” Trey flashed me a bright smile as he made me face him.

He said “Listen how about going forward we both agree to forgive each other. No more running away from me, Jasmine. Let’s just focus on our future together, starting with my prince that’s growing in there.”

After he said that, he bent down and kissed my stomach gently. I laughed as I said “What makes you so sure that it isn’t a princess in there?”

He smiled as he rubbed my stomach and said “I just feel it. That’s Treyson Jr in there, and my boy is gonna come out looking just like me.”

I smiled and laughed as I said “Oh, my God! Two Treyson’s in my life. Lord give me strength not to lose my mind.”

He teased me saying “Let’s get out of here, and get you out of this dress, runaway bride.”

I laughed as I said “Yeah, I get the feeling that everyone is staring at me. They are looking at you like the enemy.”

He smiled as he said “Our life is really like some kind of crazy ass movie lately. I guess it can be said I stole another man’s bride. But we both know that is the furthest thing from the truth. You have always been my bride, it just took us awhile to get it right. I’m glad we finally made it to this point though. I love you so much, Jasmine, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much that I do. Now that I have you all to myself, I have been waiting forever to ask you this question.”

Then he pulled away from me and got down on one knee. He smiled at me as he said “Jasmine, nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of my life with you. It really has been a long time coming for the both of us to get to this very moment, but I wouldn’t trade any of our ups or downs. You are my soulmate and the love of my life. At this point there is no more running either of us need to do. Were made to be together.”

He pulled out a velvet box and opened it revealing a beautiful diamond engagement ring. The ring was a perfect princess cut diamond, simple and very classy. Not too gaudy, but it was no question it was a very expensive ring. It was the perfect ring for me. I was amazed at how well he knew my taste. He took my hand and placed the ring onto my finger, and it fit perfectly. I was completely overwhelmed with emotion at the thought of us really ending up in this moment. Thru it all we made it, and remained very much in love with each other. I cried nothing but tears of joy. This man has made me feel every single emotion possible, but his love alone takes me to another level.

With no hesitation I said “Yes, baby, of course I will marry you. Nothing in this world would make me happier.”

He got up and scooped me up into his arms swinging me around as we smiled and laughed. Once he put me down I grabbed his face kissing his lips as I whispered into his ear that I love him. We must have caused a scene because everyone crowded around us clapping and cheering. My mom and London ended up being absolutely right. When it was with the right man the love that filled your heart was nothing short of magical. This love with him consumed all of me! I loved this man more than anything in this world, and for the first time I had no doubts whatsoever he loved me just the same. It has been a long time coming for the both of us, but I couldn’t be any happier. The right love finally caught up to me. I didn’t feel the need to run anymore, because everything I needed was all with him.

Today is the beginning of the rest of my life I am marrying my soulmate. Right now, I am existing in a place I didn’t think would ever be my reality. God has blessed me beyond measure and my cup truly runneth over with love, happiness, fulfillment, and peace. So much has happened over the past year in my life. Trey and I welcomed a beautiful, happy, and healthy baby boy Treyson Jr. We call him TJ and he is the spitting image of his father just like Trey predicted. After ten hours of labor you would think he would come out looking just like me. Of course I think he is the most gorgeous baby boy in the world. He has my eyes and smile, but everything else is all Trey! Ever since he has entered our world he has been the light of our lives. By far the greatest creation he and I could have ever made together. That little boy is our pride and joy. Trey has been amazing as a new dad. Even with his busy schedule he makes it a point to be a very hands on father, and help me out wherever he can. He changes diapers, feeds him, and is home every night to put him to bed. I decided to give up my job at the magazine, and focus on my career as a writer. I have successfully self-published my first book, and it has recently become a bestseller. I do some freelance writing here and there. I am in the beginning stages of building my business plan for my magazine. Everything is falling into place perfectly. It is as if all of my dreams are coming true. Trey and I purchased a beautiful home together in New Jersey. This will be the home we start our family in, and Trey has been determined to put baby number two in my belly ever since we bought this house. He already knows I never turn down the chance to practice. In all honesty I feel like the luckiest woman on the planet to call Trey all mine. He can get whatever he wants, even baby number two.

              I had all of my bridesmaids and the women in me and Trey’s family surrounded me moments before our wedding ceremony. TJ was playing with his god brother Jayden London’s son. My mom and Trey’s mom kept a watchful eye over the both of them. Over the past year I worked my ass off to get the baby weight off. As I looked at myself in the mirror I can honestly say I did a great job. My son gave me curves in all of the right places I didn’t have before. My breasts were much fuller, and I gained hips and an even bigger ass. My wedding dress fit my curves like a glove. I had one thing in mind when I searched for my dress. I wanted my husband to look at me like I was the most beautiful woman walking this earth, and want to rip the dress right off of me immediately. I wasn’t one for the big fluffy dresses. My dress was an ivory colored custom Vera Wang dress. The cut was a form fitting V-neck halter until you got to the bottom where it flared out into a small train. My hair was pulled up with curls slightly framing my face. I kept my makeup natural and simple. I couldn’t remove the smile that covered my face. I was surrounded by love on one of the most important days of my life. Today I will officially become Mrs. Treyson Matthews. This moment has been a long time coming, but I feel like everything has come full circle. Through all the drama and back and forth here we are. Our relationship and bond is stronger than it has ever been before. I am marrying my best friend who just so happens to be the love of my life.

              London snapped me out of my thoughts and said “Ladies I want to make a toast.”

Everyone was handed a glass of champagne. London said “I want to toast to my best friend, my twin. I am so happy for you; words can’t even describe it. No one deserves this more than you. Lord knows you and Trey have been through it all. But anyone close to the two of you could see you two were meant to be together. You two complement one another in the most perfect way. Not to mention this gorgeous little boy you two created together who calls me god mommy is the smartest cutest boy in the world. I have seen such a growth in you, Jasmine, and the woman you have become is one I truly admire. So here’s to you, Jasmine. May God bless your and Trey’s union. Marriage is one of the most beautiful union when it is with the right person.”

I was trying my best to hold back my tears. Hearing her say all of those things was everything to me. Everyone raised there glasses and sipped champagne except for me.

I got everyone’s attention and said “I’m really trying my best not to cry and mess up my makeup. I appreciate and admire each and every woman that is standing here with me. Mom, you are everything to me and more. My only hope is I have become the woman you dreamed I would be. Mrs. Matthews, you have been like a second mom to me, and I can never repay you for everything you have done for Trey and me. I can’t wait to finally become a part of the Matthews family. London, you have been there for me through all of my ups and downs. We may argue and fight, but in the end nothing will ever break the bond we share. I love you to the moon and back. To all of my family and friends thank you so much for sharing this moment with me. I appreciate you all so much. Now let’s get me married before he changes his mind!”

Everyone laughed. I walked over to my baby boy picking him up. He smiled at me and grabbed my face.

I smiled as I said “Mommy loves you very much. Can I have a kiss?” He laughed as he shyly tried to hide from my kisses. I never listen I pulled him in close places kisses all over his chubby cheeks as I tickled him. His smile and laughter lightens up my world.

Our wedding planner came into the room and said “It’s time ladies. Jasmine your dad is waiting on you downstairs.”

              Trey was surrounded by all his groomsman his father and uncles. They all poured up shots of Dusse in celebration of Trey getting married. As they all raised their shot glasses Mike said “Okay, fellas, here’s to my bro, Trey, taking the big marriage leap today. Jasmine is an amazing woman, and I can see she makes you a better man. I’m proud of you for stepping up as a man, and making an honest woman out of the mother of your child. Proud of you, bro!”

They all raised their shot glasses and took back the shots. Trey spoke up saying “Okay, fellas let’s get me married to the love of my life.”

They all walked out into the church which was decorated to perfection. Their wedding colors were white, gold, and lilac. Lilac flowers and white roses filled the room. Trey admired everything and smiled. Everything most definitely had Jasmine written all over it. He couldn’t wait for her to see the surprise he put together just for her. It didn’t matter the cost, time, or aggravation, he wanted this day to be everything that she had dreamed. He was so grateful to have her in his life, and he wanted to give her the world. It has been a long time coming, and he couldn’t wait to make her Mrs. Matthews. She gave him one of the greatest gifts in the world, a son. The journey for them to get to this moment was not an easy one. A lot of mistakes on both of their parts, but somehow they made it thru. It didn’t come without some pain and aggravation, but here they are about to be joined as man and wife. This very moment makes their journey together and apart that much worth it. In the end everything made them grow stronger as a unit.

              Jasmine waited anxiously as the wedding planner gave the signal to start the ceremony. The music played as she watched the bridesmaids and groomsman go down the aisle together. TJ was the ring bearer. Trey’s face lit up once he saw his son walking towards him. He bent down and held his arms open for him to come to him. TJ smiled and broke out running towards his father once he saw him. Everyone laughed as TJ fumbled his way into his dad’s arms. Trey picked him up playfully swinging him around. He put him down and had him stand next to him. Trey was not in the least bit nervous. Deep down he knew the first day he set his eyes on her as a teenager that she was the woman he would marry. Everything had come full circle. Jasmine watched as the flower girl began making her way down the aisle. She knew she was next up to go. She wasn’t nervous, just anxious. All she wanted to do was be in his arms for the rest of her life. It has been at least a full day since they saw each other, and she was missing the hell out of her man.

Jasmine looked over to her dad and said “You ready to do this, dad?”

He smiled and said “I am more than ready. This is the man I feel more than comfortable giving my baby girl away too.”

He kissed her on the cheek. The wedding planner came back over and fixed everything on Jasmine before she walked out. She said “You look beautiful Jasmine. Let’s get you two married.”

The doors opened and everyone’s attention immediately turned to Jasmine.

              Jasmine decided she was going to walk down the aisle to their song, Jagged Edge’s “Promise.” As she began to walk she almost screamed when she saw Jagged Edge was actually there singing the song live at their wedding. Trey spotted her surprised face and couldn’t suppress his laughter. He knew she absolutely loved Jagged Edge, and she would sing this song in her tone deaf voice to him any chance she got. Once Jasmine got closer, Trey felt like his breath was taken away. She looked stunningly beautiful in her wedding dress. He never thought he would be the guy to cry on his wedding day, but seeing her brought tears to his eyes. Once she made it down the aisle to him Jagged Edge was almost done with the song. Jasmine reached over and caressed his face when she saw he was emotional. Trey was not the emotional type of guy at all, and whenever he showed emotion you know it was for a magical moment. Trey kissed her hand and smiled. Jasmine turned towards Jagged Edge in disbelief that they really were there singing for her. She had no idea Trey had planned this for her. She always said Jagged Edge would sing at her wedding, but she never in a million years would have imagined it would happen. This day was everything she could have imagined. She had a surprise of her own for Trey at the wedding reception. Once her father gave her away, Trey took her hand leading her right beside him. As the pastor began to talk Jasmine and Trey never took their eyes off each other. Even with everything going on around them, it only felt like it was just the two of them in this moment.

After they said all of their I do’s he said “I now promise you man and wife. You may now kiss your bride.” The whole church erupted in cheers and claps as Trey removed Jasmines vail. He pulled her into his arms kissing her deeply and lovingly.

He said “You’re all mine, now, baby.”

Jasmine smiled as she said “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

              The wedding reception was a huge celebration for all of their close family and friends. Their first dance together Jasmine and Trey laughed and messed around with each other the whole time.

As they slow danced Jasmine said “So I have something to tell you baby.”

Trey curious to what she had to say said “Okay, what’s up, baby?” She smiled as she said “Well, its two things actually. The first is that I have planned for us to spend our honeymoon in Bora Bora for a whole week. Nothing but you and me on a beautiful island to celebrate the rest of our lives together. And the second part of my surprise is we won’t need to try for a baby while we are there, because we’ve already successfully made another one. Are you ready to be a daddy again?”

Surprised, Trey stepped back examining her and said “Oh my God! Are you serious, baby! So that is why you have been declining drinks all night tonight.”

Trey yelled to the DJ to stop the music. Once the music stopped he yelled to everyone saying “She’s pregnant everybody! There will be another addition to the Matthews family coming soon!”

Jasmine laughed at his excitement, and how he might not have registered that she also said they were going to Bora Bora. Trey has been dying to vacation there for the longest time. Everyone cheered and said their congratulations. Trey pulled Jasmine into his arms and said “I don’t know how God blessed me with such an amazing woman who I will get to spend the rest of my life with. I love you so much.”

Jasmine smiled as she caressed his face before kissing his lips. She said “God has also blessed me with an amazing man who I get the pleasure to call my husband. I couldn’t imagine being on this journey with any other man than the one standing in front of me right now.”

Is it possible to have an happily ever after? Most would say no such thing even exists. The road traveled in regards to love and life is not an easy one. Love can be so simple, but at the same time so complicated. There will be ups and downs. There will be roadblocks, stops, and even some U-turns. No one can run away or control their heart. Love isn’t logic; it’s all feeling. Only thing you can do is hold on, and try to enjoy the crazy ass ride. If you find the right person to take this journey with, nothing else in the world will ever compare. What God put together, let no man tear apart. Jasmine and Trey did not have an easy path to happily ever after, but they weathered the storm. In the end, the heart wants, what the heart wants. They only wanted each other!