Plays Unpleasant (25 page)

GRACE
. Where is Dr Paramore?

CHARTERIS
. Just gone home.

JULIA
[
with sudden resolution
] What is Dr Paramore's number in Savile Row?

CHARTERIS
. Seventynine.

Julia goes out quickly by the staircase door; to their astonishment Charteris follows her to the door, which swings back in his face, leaving him staring after her through the glass
.

SYLVIA
[
running to Grace
] Grace: go after her. Dont let her get beforehand with Paramore. She'll tell him the most heartbreaking stories about how she's been treated, and get round him completely.

CRAVEN
[
thundering
] Sylvia! is that the way to speak of your sister, miss? [
Grace squeezes Sylvia's hand to console her; takes a
magazine from the table; and sits down calmly. Sylvia posts herself behind Grace's chair, leaning over the back to watch the ensuing colloquy between the three men
]. I assure you, Mrs Tran-field, Dr Paramore has just invited us all to take afternoon tea with him; and if my daughter has gone to his house, she is simply taking advantage of his invitation to extricate herself from a very embarrassing scene here. We're all going there. Come, Sylvia. [
He turns to go, followed by Cuthbertson
].

CHARTERIS
[
in consternation
] Stop! [
He gets between Craven and Cuthbertson
]. What hurry is there? Cant you give the man time?

CRAVEN
. Time! What for?

CHARTERIS
[
talking foolishly in his agitation
] Well, to get a little rest, you know: a busy professional man like that! He's not had a moment to himself all day.

CRAVEN
. But Julia's with him.

CHARTERIS
. Well, no matter: she's only one person. And she ought to have an opportunity of laying her case before him. As a member of the committee, I think thats only just. be reasonable, Craven: give him half an hour.

CUTHBERTSON
[
sternly
] What do you mean by this, Charteris?

CHARTERIS
. Nothing, I assure you. Only common consideration for poor Paramore.

CUTHBERTSON
. Youve some motive. Craven: I strongly advise that we go at once. [
He grasps the door handle
].

CHARTERIS
[
coaxingly
] No, no. [
He puts his hand persuasively on Craven's arm, adding
] It's not good for your liver, Craven, to rush about immediately after lunch.

CUTHBERTSON
. His liver's cured. Come on, Craven. [
He opens the door
].

CHARTERIS
[
catching Cuthbertson by the sleeve
] Cuthbertson: youre mad. Paramore's going to propose to Julia. We must give him time: he's not the man to come to the point in three seconds as you or I would. [
Turning to
Craven
] Dont you see? that will get me out of the difficulty we were speaking of this morning: you and I and Cuth-bertson. You remember?

CRAVEN
. Now is this a thing to say plump out before everybody, Charteris? Confound it, have you no decency?

CUTHBERTSON
[
severely
] None whatever.

CHARTERIS
[
turning to Cuthbertson
] No: dont be unkind, Cuthbertson. Back me up. My future, her future, Mrs Tranfield's future, Craven's future, everybody's future depends on Julia being Paramore's affianced bride when we arrive. He's certain to propose if youll only give him time. You know youre a kindly and sensible man as well as a deucedly clever one, Cuthbertson, in spite of all the nonsense you pick up in the theatre. Say a word for me.

CRAVEN
. I'm quite willing to leave the decision to Cuthbertson: and I have no doubt whatever as to what that decision will be.

Cuthbertson carefully shuts the door, and comes back into the room with an air of weighty reflection
.

CUTHBERTSON
. I am now going to speak as a man of the world: that is, without moral responsibility.

CRAVEN
. Quite so, Jo. Of course.

CUTHBERTSON
. Therefore, though I have no sympathy whatever with Charteris's views, I think we can do no harm by waiting – say ten minutes or so. [
He sits down
].

CHARTERIS
[
delighted
] Ah, theres nobody like you after all, Cuthbertson, when theres a difficult situation to be judged. [
He sits down on the settee back
].

CRAVEN
[
deeply disappointed
] Oh well, Jo, if that is your decision, I must keep my word and abide by it. Better sit down and make ourselves comfortable, I suppose. [
He sits also, under protest
].

A pause, very trying for the three men
.

GRACE
[
looking up from her magazine
] Dont fidget, Leonard.

CHARTERIS
[
slipping off the settee back
] I cant help it: I'm too restless. The fact is, Julia has made me so nervous that I
cant answer for myself until I know her decision. Mrs Tranfield will tell you what a time Ive had lately. Julia's really a most determined woman, you know.

CRAVEN
[
starting up
] Well, upon my life! Upon my honour and conscience!! Now really!!! I shall go this instant. Come on, Sylvia, Cuthbertson: I hope youll mark your sense of this sort of thing by coming on to Paramore's with us at once. [
He marches to the door
].

CHARTERIS
[
desperately
] Craven; youre trifling with your daughter's happiness. I ask only five minutes more.

CRAVEN
. Not five seconds, sir. Fie for shame. Charteris! [
He goes out
].

CUTHBERTSON
[
to Charteris, as he passes him on his way to the door
] Bungler! [
Hefollows Craven
].

SYLVIA
. Serve you right, you duffer! [
She follows Cuthbertson
].

CHARTERIS
. Oh, these headstrong old men! [
To Grace
] Nothing to be done now but to go with them, and delay the Colonel as much as possible. So I'm afraid I must leave you.

GRACE
[
rising
] Not at all. Paramore invited me, too.

CHARTERIS
[
aghast
] You dont meant to say youre coming!

GRACE
. Most certainly. Do you suppose I will let that woman think I am afraid to meet her? [
Charteris sinks on a chair with a prolonged groan
]. Come: dont be silly: youll not overtake the Colonel if you delay any longer.

CHARTERIS
. Why was I ever born, child of misfortune that I am! [
He rises despairingly
]. Well, if you must come, you must. [
He offers his arm, which she takes
]. By the way, what happened after I left you?

GRACE
. I gave her a lecture on her behavior which she will remember to the last day of her life.

CHARTERIS
[
approvingly
] That was right, darling. [
He slips his arm round her waist
] Just one kiss. To soothe me.

GRACE
[
complacently offering her cheek
] Foolish boy! [
He kisses her
]. Now come along. [
They go out together
].

Paramore's reception room in Savile Row. Viewing the room from the front windows, the door is seen in the opposite wall near the left hand corner. Another door, a light noiseless one covered with green baize, leading to the consulting room, is in the right hand wall towards the back. The fireplace is on the left. At the nearer corner of it a couch is placed at right angles to the wall, settlewise. At the other corner, an easy chair. On the right the wall is occupied by a bookcase, further orward than the green baize door. Beyond the door is a cabinet of anatomical preparations, with a framed photograph of Rembrandt's School of Anatomy hanging on the wall above it. In front, a little to the right, a teatable
.

Paramore is seated in a round-backed chair, on castors, pouring out tea. Julia sits opposite him, with her back to the fire. He is in high spirits: she very downcast
.

PARAMORE
[
handing her the cup he has just filled
] There! Making tea is one of the few things I consider myself able to do thoroughly well. Cake?

JULIA
. No, thank you. I dont like sweet things. [
She sets down the cup untasted
].

PARAMORE
. Anything wrong with the tea?

JULIA
. No. It's very nice.

PARAMORE
. I'm afraid I'm a bad entertainer. The fact is, I am too professional. I shine only in consultation. I almost wish you had something serious the matter with you; so that you might call out my knowledge and sympathy. As it is, I can only admire you, and feel how pleasant it is to have you here.

JULIA
[
bitterly
] And pet me, and say pretty things to me. I wonder you dont offer me a saucer of milk at once.

PARAMORE
[
astonished
] Why?

JULIA
. Because you seem to regard me very much as if I were a Persian cat.

PARAMORE
[
in strong remonstrance
] Miss Cra –

JULIA
[
cutting him short
] Oh, you neednt protest. I'm used to it: it's the sort of attachment I seem always to inspire. [
Ironically
] You cant think how nattering it is.

PARAMORE
. My dear Miss Craven, what a cynical thing to say! You! who are loved at first sight by the people in the street as you pass. Why, in the club I can tell by the faces of the men whether you have been lately in the room or not.

JULIA
[
shrinking fiercely
] Oh, I hate that look in their faces. Do you know that I have never had one human being care for me since I was born?

PARAMORE
. Thats not true, Miss Craven. Even if it were true of your father, and of Charteris, who loves you madly in spite of your dislike for him, it is not true of me.

JULIA
[
startled
] Who told you that about Charteris?

PARAMORE
. Why, he himself.

JULIA
[
with deep, poignant conviction
] He cares for only one person in the world; and that is himself. There is not in his whole nature one unselfish spot. He would not spend one hour of his real life with – [
a sob chokes her: she rises passionately, crying
] You are all alike, every one of you. Even my father only makes a pet of me. [
She goes away to the fireplace, and stands with her back to him to hide her face
].

PARAMORE
[
following her humbly
] I dont deserve this from you: indeed I do not.

JULIA
[
rating him
] Then why do you gossip about me behind my back with Charteris?

PARAMORE
. We said nothing disparaging of you. Nobody shall ever do that in my presence. We spoke of the subject nearest our hearts.

JULIA
. His heart! Oh God, his heart! [
She sits down on the couch, and covers her face
].

PARAMORE
[
sadly
] I am afraid you love him, for all that, Miss Craven.

JULIA
[
raising her head instantly
] If he says that, he lies. If ever you hear it said that I cared for him, contradict it: it is false.

PARAMORE
[
quickly advancing to her
] Miss Craven: is the way clear for me then?

JULIA
[
losing interest in the conversation, and looking crossly away from him
] What do you mean?

PARAMORE
[
impetuously
] You must see what I mean. Contradict the rumor of your attachment to Charteris, not by words – it has gone too far for that – but by becoming my wife. [
Earnestly
] Believe me: it is not merely your beauty that attracts me [
Julia, interested, looks up at him quickly
]: I know other beautiful women. It is your heart, your sincerity, your sterling reality, [
Julia rises and gazes at him, breathless with a new hope
] your great gifts of character that are only half developed because you have never been understood by those about you.

JULIA
[
looking intently at him, and yet beginning to be derisively sceptical in spite of herself
] Have you really seen all that in me?

PARAMORE
. I have felt it. I have been alone in the world; and I need you, Julia. That is how I have divined that you, also, are alone in the world.

JULIA
[
with the atrical pathos
] You are right there. I am indeed alone in the world.

PARAMORE
[
timidly approaching her
] With you I should not be alone. And you? with me?

JULIA
. You! [
She gets quickly out of his reach, taking refuge at the teatable
]. No, no. I cant bring myself – [
She breaks off, perplexed, and looks uneasily about her
]. Oh, I dont know what to do. You will expect too much from me. [
She sits down
].

PARAMORE
. I have more faith in you than you have in yourself. Your nature is richer than you think.

JULIA
[
doubtfully
] Do you really believe that I am not the shallow, jealous, devilish tempered creature they all pretend I am!